It...is a little, because a lot of what I've seen brought up - linaerys brought this up, and possibly other people - is that for a population that is, I believe, very scarred by being female in our society (we're going to leave aside the different scars of men and minorities for the moment, though I'm not saying they don't exist) this is an incredibly risky thing, but it seems like that was several times predicated on the idea that men have behaved badly to these commenters before, and involving oneself in the OSBP would, default, cause men to behave badly again. Sometimes that was tied to peer pressure (you're a prude if you do this/you're a slut if you do that) and sometimes to society's failure to understand the harm that can come to women from men, but because of my unique position in the spectrum, I think I'm more comfortable than a lot of people with myself, and from that standpoint, I'm not letting someone push me into doing something; I've played chicken before and it doesn't end well. So I can see that side of it, but it's not totally what I was reacting to, you're right.
So I felt that some people were saying "because I have this discomfort (and possibly, subtextually, because they felt women's wishes are underrepresented and recognised) all women do, and I will defend those who do not speak," which is not the case. I hope. I mean, there are LOTS of issues here, and I hope that if someone was NOT able to consent or refuse consent, people would step up and intervene on that person's behalf, but - that's being a good person. Generalising when it might not be necessary is not the same. I don't need to be defended in this, not even with the best of wishes.
I do think if you could make a safe, non-abusive place (no longer possible) it would be fun to be part of, but that's my opinion.
Right, but there's different issues involved in being a black woman, or a Native American woman, or a white woman, than just being a woman. Or am I being really really rude and naive (this is quite possible)? I think - but don't know - that there would be clusters of issues around both sides of those identities, but maybe I'm wrong, maybe there aren't. Certainly I see that being white and being a woman and being bisexual are identities with different issues for different viewers, but that might be just me. I mostly wanted to not assume that all issues with dominant culture are the same, nor that men have no issues with dominant culture, not create weird, artificial distinctions, though I might have.
So I felt that some people were saying "because I have this discomfort (and possibly, subtextually, because they felt women's wishes are underrepresented and recognised) all women do, and I will defend those who do not speak," which is not the case. I hope. I mean, there are LOTS of issues here, and I hope that if someone was NOT able to consent or refuse consent, people would step up and intervene on that person's behalf, but - that's being a good person. Generalising when it might not be necessary is not the same. I don't need to be defended in this, not even with the best of wishes.
I do think if you could make a safe, non-abusive place (no longer possible) it would be fun to be part of, but that's my opinion.
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