[ fic ] touch to see

[changeful]

B1A4 | cnu/gongchan, cnu/jinyoung, everyone/everyone | NC-17 | 2,200 w
warnings/notes: group sex, blindfolds

there are five of them but it's not really messy. and then it's just the two of them.

Comments

[fourcoldpaws]

(hi this is tuesday-me writing to future-you. fun fact, i saved this in a doc to read during my hiatus. when i was done i remembered that you had posted another snippet of this on tumblr and i was like “i need that in my life” but then remembered NOOOO, i have no internet!!! ig that will be my treat when i come back.)

other than that, wailssssssssss i don’t even know what to say

this was so strong and heavy for me in a way. it sucked me into a world and a feeling and now i can’t exit it. i have to admit it’s not an entirely pleasant feeling because this is a heavy subject, hard to digest in a way, and tbh (this is no critique to you ofc) i was afraid i wouldn’t be able to read it at first, but it felt very consensual and safe and everybody seemed to feel comfortable in the situation despite everything and that was very nice and helped me a lot. as i said, i really got sucked into the story and afterwards i couldn’t leave it and just wanted more (cried over not getting to read the snippet), skimmed through it a second time and then just sat staring at the doc bec idk. it was a lot to take in in a way, it hit me right in the gut somehow.

now i realize that the wailssss may seem like a negative wailssss but that was not at all what i meant, this fic is so well-written and well-spaced out and i love how you’ve kept the actual sex to a minimum in a way because it kept the flow of the story and it never got mechanical and idk it was a very nice portrayal of it and of them. i love the “altar” part lmao, not sure if you meant it to be a ritual thing but i’ll read it as that. (and i wonder what the altar is for? if they’re actually worshipping something? some modern god of sleek hotels and black sheets) i love the detail that jinyoung is the leader, and that he’s never altar. (and i’m terribly curious of how the conversation went when jy first told cnu about this and invited him into it, like how do you put such a question lmao)

and the shinchannnnnnn. (not just bec i have priorities) (i think) like how they’re naturally drawn to each other within the group(?) and chan seeking him out (ofc) and feeling weird seeing each other with clothes on and their one-on-one, open-eyed sex with all the touching with eyes and hands and afterwards having a special connection of sorts even in the group but not in a way that fucks up the group?? i’m terribly weak for this kind of dynamic i think. tho tbh i was half expecting them to go out for coffee and do some 100% regular innocent dating before getting physical with each other as some kind of break-away from the group and that pattern? like they wouldn’t be able to get physical with each other outside that arrangement at first. (or ever.) makes me wonder if they’ll get to that, the coffee-shops and dating, if they’ll start some kind of relationship (and if that will fuck up the group dynamics then. i can’t help thinking that it would.)

wow this is long i’m sry. tl;dr this was very very nice but it also fucked me up a bit lol /o\

[changeful]

oh wow, i wasn't expecting this to have such an impact. i'm glad it read as very consensual and safe, that was the main thing i wanted to come across with the whole situation, more than making it sexy or even making sense >>

(i have absolutely no idea how jinyoung approached cnu. but i figured if any of them could convince cnu to join a secret weekly orgy it's jinyoung. or chan. but i had other plans for chan.)

i did think about having them have kind of a date or drinks or something but it didn't seem to fit. i thought if i did that it'd feel like they only fell into the sex because they were too uncomfortable dating. (& ultimately the interest was more sexual, not romantic in the scenario. though also personal? idk. honestly i'm not sure what i wrote)

noooo, thank you so much for always reading and for commenting and for listening to me ramble about things i'm writing even if they might not see the light of day ;; i really appreciate it and it makes writing so much more fun.