If/Then
What if at every juncture you could watch how life would turn out with each direction chosen or otherwise?
A friend who was in New York told me about this musical he watched. In 'If/Then', the lead actress had to make a choice and the remaining show illustrated the two paths her life could take. Interestingly, there were similar events in the two parallels, such as at the end of the show, she met the same person at a later time of the second path.
So I said '.. Seems like the show is trying to say, what is meant to happen, will happen..?'
And then there was a short moment of silence, depicting a quiet understanding between us.
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I've been struggling internally with conflicting thoughts and emotions. Honestly, I can't trust myself to make any good decision at this time of life, feeling like whatever step I take, it would be a mistake and I would regret it. I'm already trying to come to terms with whatever 'stupid decisions' I had already made.
It would be good to actually watch how life would turn out if you chose the alternative.. But I think I would only want to do so if I knew the alternative had a worse-off outcome. Or maybe like how the show was saying, what's meant to happen will happen.
I don't know. Still trying to embrace life's ambiguity.
One thing's for sure: I'm truly blessed with so much love. Much more than I deserve.