Celebrations
I heard news from a friend about celebrations. She was getting married.
And it was an arranged marriage. Typically in India all the marriages are arranged. The families are involved in choosing their son or daughter’s better half.
This reminded me of an incident which happened about a year and a half back. I had joined a German based company and we had a inter culture workshop. The typical discussions were about how prompt the Germans are and that the belief that all Germans are tall is a myth and so on and so forth. At that time the instructor, who was a German, had a boyfriend for about 10 years now any they were never married. Yes in Germany stay in relationship is legal. You can have kids even if you are not married, and some people do not marry, as they have to pay tax.
Now coming to the discussion. She had heard about India and the arranger marriages and the entire process shocked her. She calmly waited till the end of the workshop and informally asked the question, “how can you marry a person whom you have met just few weeks back and spend the rest of the life”. As usual most of us did not have the answer, then.
Now I think I know why it works in India. The basic difference between the west and the east is the bond in the family. Since in west they are grown up to be independent, take there responsibilities, do what they want, they also hold the responsibility of managing their love life.
Whereas in India it is not so, there are your parents who will call you up if you don’t reach home late. There are your siblings who are worried about what you do. The fact remains that what ever they do, it is true that the intensions are noble. So if they are trying to find a match for their son or daughter it is true that love is unconditional. Now just that, it is also true that the family is there if anything happens. This relationship between you family are friends is the one which make you do want you to do.
In west it is also true that the number of relations are very few. At the most they will know their parents siblings. Where are in east the list of your relatives can fill a directory.
So in west they do take a chance of losing the relationship to find the better half. Where are in India it is highly unpractical.
I write this not to say arranged marriages are bad or to say the culture is west is better, I write this to point out that there is a very huge cultural difference even though people to wear the same levis jeans and drink the same pepsi.
PS: I am wishing you a happy married life.
And it was an arranged marriage. Typically in India all the marriages are arranged. The families are involved in choosing their son or daughter’s better half.
This reminded me of an incident which happened about a year and a half back. I had joined a German based company and we had a inter culture workshop. The typical discussions were about how prompt the Germans are and that the belief that all Germans are tall is a myth and so on and so forth. At that time the instructor, who was a German, had a boyfriend for about 10 years now any they were never married. Yes in Germany stay in relationship is legal. You can have kids even if you are not married, and some people do not marry, as they have to pay tax.
Now coming to the discussion. She had heard about India and the arranger marriages and the entire process shocked her. She calmly waited till the end of the workshop and informally asked the question, “how can you marry a person whom you have met just few weeks back and spend the rest of the life”. As usual most of us did not have the answer, then.
Now I think I know why it works in India. The basic difference between the west and the east is the bond in the family. Since in west they are grown up to be independent, take there responsibilities, do what they want, they also hold the responsibility of managing their love life.
Whereas in India it is not so, there are your parents who will call you up if you don’t reach home late. There are your siblings who are worried about what you do. The fact remains that what ever they do, it is true that the intensions are noble. So if they are trying to find a match for their son or daughter it is true that love is unconditional. Now just that, it is also true that the family is there if anything happens. This relationship between you family are friends is the one which make you do want you to do.
In west it is also true that the number of relations are very few. At the most they will know their parents siblings. Where are in east the list of your relatives can fill a directory.
So in west they do take a chance of losing the relationship to find the better half. Where are in India it is highly unpractical.
I write this not to say arranged marriages are bad or to say the culture is west is better, I write this to point out that there is a very huge cultural difference even though people to wear the same levis jeans and drink the same pepsi.
PS: I am wishing you a happy married life.