Note to The Anthropomorphic Manifestation Currently Buggering Around with The Weather
So it was raining when I got up and glanced outside. Normal, civilised, LIQUID water falling from the sky. I check the weather report: nothin' but rain, baby. So I go about my business, get dressed, putter about with breakfast, have a cup of tea, and then I put on my shoes and went outside. And what greeted me, you may ask, as I stopped dead, staring in horror out the doors of the building foyer?
SNOW. FUCKING SNOW. EVERYWHERE. AGAIN.
And as I was wearing chucks, I had to go back and change my shoes, because WTF.
Y'know what? Enough already. It's been a MONTH, for crying out loud. This is more than we need. This is more than ANYBODY needs. We get it, Winter. You are badass. You have showed us wussy Vancouverites who's boss. (And you have somehow convinced the powers-that-be of the college that EVIL WHITE SHIT falling from the sky is not enough reason to close down unless somebody actually DIES FIRST. Like, THAT MORNING. Hence my barely-controlled, two-feet-at-a-time-and-once-or-twice-quite-a-few-more-feet-than-that-until-I-caught-myself-on-a-signpost SLIDE down the hill to work, and the fact that my jeans? Wet to the knees, and I want to go home and I HATE YOU, but you win. You are one scary-ass season. But here's a newsflash: WE KNEW THAT ALREADY. THAT IS WHY WE LIVE IN A RAINFOREST.)
Now... piss off, already?
...please?
I speak on behalf of millions. Really.
My feet are still all squelchy. I hate Winter.
SNOW. FUCKING SNOW. EVERYWHERE. AGAIN.
And as I was wearing chucks, I had to go back and change my shoes, because WTF.
Y'know what? Enough already. It's been a MONTH, for crying out loud. This is more than we need. This is more than ANYBODY needs. We get it, Winter. You are badass. You have showed us wussy Vancouverites who's boss. (And you have somehow convinced the powers-that-be of the college that EVIL WHITE SHIT falling from the sky is not enough reason to close down unless somebody actually DIES FIRST. Like, THAT MORNING. Hence my barely-controlled, two-feet-at-a-time-and-once-or-twice-quite-a-few-more-feet-than-that-until-I-caught-myself-on-a-signpost SLIDE down the hill to work, and the fact that my jeans? Wet to the knees, and I want to go home and I HATE YOU, but you win. You are one scary-ass season. But here's a newsflash: WE KNEW THAT ALREADY. THAT IS WHY WE LIVE IN A RAINFOREST.)
Now... piss off, already?
...please?
I speak on behalf of millions. Really.
My feet are still all squelchy. I hate Winter.