Oh, galloping fish gods, this is just not NATURAL.
Snowfall warning for:
Greater Vancouver
10 TO 20 CM OF SNOW EXPECTED WEDNESDAY FOR NORTH COAST COASTAL SECTIONS. 5 TO 15 CM OF SNOW EXPECTED WEDNESDAY FOR THE REMAINING REGIONS.
ARCTIC AIR OVER THE BRITISH COLUMBIA INTERIOR CONTINUES TO SPILL OUT THROUGH THE NORTH COAST VALLEYS AND INLETS GENERATING STRONG OUTFLOW WINDS AND DANGEROUSLY COLD WINDCHILL TEMPERATURES OVER EXPOSED AREAS OF THE CENTRAL AND NORTH COAST. OVER INLAND SECTIONS OF THE COASTS WIND CHILL TEMPERATURES WILL RUN IN THE MINUS 20 TO MINUS 30 RANGE THROUGH WEDNESDAY MORNING. A PACIFIC STORM APPROACHING THE COAST TONIGHT WILL BRING HEAVY SNOW AND STRONG WINDS. FROM NORTH VANCOUVER ISLAND NORTHWARD TO THE CENTRAL AND NORTH COASTS SNOW WILL BEGIN TONIGHT WITH 10 TO 20 CM EXPECTED THROUGH WEDNESDAY. WINDS WILL RISE TO SOUTHEAST 70 TO 90 KM/H AHEAD OF THE STORM OVERNIGHT. OVER THE SOUTH COAST SNOW WILL DEVELOP WEDNESDAY MORNING OR AFTERNOON GIVING SNOWFALL AMOUNT OF 10 TO 15 CM. SNOW WILL BEGIN TO MIX WITH OR CHANGE TO RAIN WEDNESDAY NIGHT OVER MOST AREAS OF THE SOUTH. WINDS WILL ALSO RISE TO SOUTHEAST 50 TO 70 KM/H ALONG WEST VANCOUVER ISLAND NEAR NOON WEDNESDAY AHEAD OF THIS SYSTEM.
PLEASE REFER TO THE LATEST PUBLIC FORECASTS FOR FURTHER DETAILS.
And we are on the... South Coast. Meaning, minus twenty to minus thirty with the windchill (OMFG WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE), up to 15 MORE centimetres of the horrible white stuff (WE'RE GOING TO BE COLD AND THEN WE'RE GOING TO DIE), and it will all happen just conveniently enough so that I can get to work and get to walk home through the worst of it after they close the college (DIE, DIE, DIE). And 70km/h winds! Hah! Ha ha ha! Thanks so much Winter, you EVIL BASTARD.
(OHGODSOHGODSOHGODSSAVEUS.)