I thought it fitting...
This is my newest piece of writing, I dont usually put things like this in my lj but I'm being bold today. Its a new journal... why not :D This piece was to some friends of mine, a few that fit specifics but in general it applies to all of them... in a way
To those I forget from time to time
To you, who caught me at such a crossroads. You are the one I never took for granted. We are closer than I thought, you bring humor to my life and though we are far apart, in communication, standpoints and geography, you mean a great deal. Sometimes, indifferent... this is how you appear. The times that count are those time when indeed you did admit that you missed me and in this I am bound to self centered thinking. This I know because you have counted all of the other times, meaningless conversation, unspoken words, and misunderstood jokes, as those that heave meant the most... perhaps. Though we cross paths on seldom occaisions when we do it is spectacular, may things always be this way.
To you, whose love knows no bounds. It pains me... because nothing would make me more happy to give you the attention you give to me but somehow I am not capable of it... but I hope you know that the feeling of how much I want to be is as strong as the feeling of your longing for that attention and place in my mind.... Your place in my heart will not change though the mind, being the transient thing that it is changes constantly and with little provocation...
To you, who is generous beyond the point of need. Your company is something unforgetable. A more engaged friendship I dont believe I've ever had and could not imagine one with anyone else. Such experimentation, learning processes and experience I have not relished with such enthusiasm as I do when I'm with you. You are the one likely taken for granted the most and for this I apologize. My feelings, though well hidden, are sincere and run deep. There is nothing I would not do for you if asked, but communication is a needful thing. Indeed I will admit our friendship snuck up on me, close and swift... may the departure (should there be one) not be as such. I can see us getting older, marveling silently as the other grows up and not even realizing it happened until the antics stop. Thank you for considering me a friend, trusting me with your kind heart, and being patient with my childlike actions.
To you whose friendship remains undefined. You I write to in particular as your existence in my life has been much shorter than the others. I would love to say that finding such intrigue in someone so fast is unbeknownst and terribly thrilling to me. It is familiar but takes me by surprise every time my naive nature finds someone to trust. I pray this will pass. Not only my growing up but the twinge I get from knowing you. That it should pass in a favorable manner is my hope. I hate losing people, even and most of all the ones who's inner workings I have yet to discover. I hope that in passing we shall reveal what mystery we both hold for the other. I wish you only the best in your path as you are talented, wise and kind... seemingly and so convincingly.
Finally and not lightly, to the one I truly resent. You I have known the longest but know the least of all. Though I love everything you utter I cannot and will not take it all. To take something with a grain of salt correctly proves my relationship with you. The fun we've had was great, granted we're quite the wrecking crew, but I dont feel that you are completely real and I wonder what insecurities could cause one to hide behind frivolous stories. I certainly would love you just as much the other way. And perhaps I have not taken into consideration that these things are trivial or possibly reality, and for this I am truly sorry. Mistrust is something I do not generally stand if not for an underlying reason. The reason is something you will not find here, just know I cherish you, if not as a very good friend, as a person... please show me the way to getting to the real you, believe it or not things can always get better than they already are.
And thats it... let me know what you think but I might delete it if i get self conscious so we'll see.
To those I forget from time to time
To you, who caught me at such a crossroads. You are the one I never took for granted. We are closer than I thought, you bring humor to my life and though we are far apart, in communication, standpoints and geography, you mean a great deal. Sometimes, indifferent... this is how you appear. The times that count are those time when indeed you did admit that you missed me and in this I am bound to self centered thinking. This I know because you have counted all of the other times, meaningless conversation, unspoken words, and misunderstood jokes, as those that heave meant the most... perhaps. Though we cross paths on seldom occaisions when we do it is spectacular, may things always be this way.
To you, whose love knows no bounds. It pains me... because nothing would make me more happy to give you the attention you give to me but somehow I am not capable of it... but I hope you know that the feeling of how much I want to be is as strong as the feeling of your longing for that attention and place in my mind.... Your place in my heart will not change though the mind, being the transient thing that it is changes constantly and with little provocation...
To you, who is generous beyond the point of need. Your company is something unforgetable. A more engaged friendship I dont believe I've ever had and could not imagine one with anyone else. Such experimentation, learning processes and experience I have not relished with such enthusiasm as I do when I'm with you. You are the one likely taken for granted the most and for this I apologize. My feelings, though well hidden, are sincere and run deep. There is nothing I would not do for you if asked, but communication is a needful thing. Indeed I will admit our friendship snuck up on me, close and swift... may the departure (should there be one) not be as such. I can see us getting older, marveling silently as the other grows up and not even realizing it happened until the antics stop. Thank you for considering me a friend, trusting me with your kind heart, and being patient with my childlike actions.
To you whose friendship remains undefined. You I write to in particular as your existence in my life has been much shorter than the others. I would love to say that finding such intrigue in someone so fast is unbeknownst and terribly thrilling to me. It is familiar but takes me by surprise every time my naive nature finds someone to trust. I pray this will pass. Not only my growing up but the twinge I get from knowing you. That it should pass in a favorable manner is my hope. I hate losing people, even and most of all the ones who's inner workings I have yet to discover. I hope that in passing we shall reveal what mystery we both hold for the other. I wish you only the best in your path as you are talented, wise and kind... seemingly and so convincingly.
Finally and not lightly, to the one I truly resent. You I have known the longest but know the least of all. Though I love everything you utter I cannot and will not take it all. To take something with a grain of salt correctly proves my relationship with you. The fun we've had was great, granted we're quite the wrecking crew, but I dont feel that you are completely real and I wonder what insecurities could cause one to hide behind frivolous stories. I certainly would love you just as much the other way. And perhaps I have not taken into consideration that these things are trivial or possibly reality, and for this I am truly sorry. Mistrust is something I do not generally stand if not for an underlying reason. The reason is something you will not find here, just know I cherish you, if not as a very good friend, as a person... please show me the way to getting to the real you, believe it or not things can always get better than they already are.
And thats it... let me know what you think but I might delete it if i get self conscious so we'll see.