(no subject)
I saw Elizabethtown last night with Jenny.
Words cannot describe what I've experienced in the last 24 hours. The movie was invigorating and completely satisfied everything I was longing for during my alone time. We left the theater and I just started driving, I didn't know where I was going, I didn't have a plan or destination, I just drove. We found a random lake by an old gas station and parked next to a creepy van. Probably not the wisest decision but I wasn't scared at all...I opened the door and climbed onto a cement block and stood there with my arms opened upward letting the cool night blow against me. We drove for another 20 minutes with the windows down and sunroof open just screaming at the top of our lungs and I've never felt more alive than I did in that moment. As we drove down the dark rural roads I kept my eyes fixed upon bright lights in the distance and decided that we needed to discover where they were coming from. And we did. 15 minutes later we rolled into Bartow Ford...A CAR LOT. I have to admit, the laughter of disappointment still echoes in my ears. With an ever-longing heart for something else I pursued more adventure as I headed south on highway 98 and eventually we found ourselves in downtown Bartow and parked the car to go explore the unknown. We found a reflecting pool in front of City Hall to dip our feet in and sat there for a while pretending we were in a small town of Nebraska. With midwestern accents we made up elaborate stories of our journey through the small town of Bartow, Nebraska and exchanged dreams and personalities of who we'd like to be. Jenny was an archaeologist and a flight attendant, I was a technology teacher and baton coach. Then Jenny was a custodian at an elementary school and I was the daughter of the mayor of a small town. I wanted to be a mermaid...and Jenny thought I would make a perfect mermaid. A minute later, with a twinkle in my eye I looked at her and asked her if she would be a mermaid with me. With a sly grin and understanding she smiled back at me as I took off my shirt and slipped into the pool/fountain. We swam around giggling in mischievous disbelief as cars drove by us on Main Street, sometimes slowing to see what the laughter was all about.
We arrived back at her apartment soaking wet with wine in hand to find Pat and Calum waiting for us outside her door. Jenny and I again giggled like little girls and kept the air of mystery by refusing to share our night with them. We sat on the porch, a glass of Sangria in one hand and a cigar in the other just enjoying the hurricane, staying up until 5am watching the storm blow by and playing Outburst.
I learned how to cook eggs last night too. I like fried the best. And today we spent the afternoon having a picnic at Park Bonnie. I think we laid in that grass for about 2.5 hours and it was simply delightful. What a wonderful weekend...
I still don't know what's going on but I'm learning to love myself again, I'm learning what I like and don't like. I'm learning confidence and confrontational skills. Finding out who I am is going to be a journey but the more I think about the more I wonder if anyone ever knows who they really are. I mean does self-discovery ever end? I'm starting to think it doesn't. And I like it.
Words cannot describe what I've experienced in the last 24 hours. The movie was invigorating and completely satisfied everything I was longing for during my alone time. We left the theater and I just started driving, I didn't know where I was going, I didn't have a plan or destination, I just drove. We found a random lake by an old gas station and parked next to a creepy van. Probably not the wisest decision but I wasn't scared at all...I opened the door and climbed onto a cement block and stood there with my arms opened upward letting the cool night blow against me. We drove for another 20 minutes with the windows down and sunroof open just screaming at the top of our lungs and I've never felt more alive than I did in that moment. As we drove down the dark rural roads I kept my eyes fixed upon bright lights in the distance and decided that we needed to discover where they were coming from. And we did. 15 minutes later we rolled into Bartow Ford...A CAR LOT. I have to admit, the laughter of disappointment still echoes in my ears. With an ever-longing heart for something else I pursued more adventure as I headed south on highway 98 and eventually we found ourselves in downtown Bartow and parked the car to go explore the unknown. We found a reflecting pool in front of City Hall to dip our feet in and sat there for a while pretending we were in a small town of Nebraska. With midwestern accents we made up elaborate stories of our journey through the small town of Bartow, Nebraska and exchanged dreams and personalities of who we'd like to be. Jenny was an archaeologist and a flight attendant, I was a technology teacher and baton coach. Then Jenny was a custodian at an elementary school and I was the daughter of the mayor of a small town. I wanted to be a mermaid...and Jenny thought I would make a perfect mermaid. A minute later, with a twinkle in my eye I looked at her and asked her if she would be a mermaid with me. With a sly grin and understanding she smiled back at me as I took off my shirt and slipped into the pool/fountain. We swam around giggling in mischievous disbelief as cars drove by us on Main Street, sometimes slowing to see what the laughter was all about.
We arrived back at her apartment soaking wet with wine in hand to find Pat and Calum waiting for us outside her door. Jenny and I again giggled like little girls and kept the air of mystery by refusing to share our night with them. We sat on the porch, a glass of Sangria in one hand and a cigar in the other just enjoying the hurricane, staying up until 5am watching the storm blow by and playing Outburst.
I learned how to cook eggs last night too. I like fried the best. And today we spent the afternoon having a picnic at Park Bonnie. I think we laid in that grass for about 2.5 hours and it was simply delightful. What a wonderful weekend...
I still don't know what's going on but I'm learning to love myself again, I'm learning what I like and don't like. I'm learning confidence and confrontational skills. Finding out who I am is going to be a journey but the more I think about the more I wonder if anyone ever knows who they really are. I mean does self-discovery ever end? I'm starting to think it doesn't. And I like it.