[admin fic #6] all the stars point me to you [2/2]
From Chandumb:
Are you online?
From Baekie:
Just got home.
Chanyeol: HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Baekhyun: Hi!
Chanyeol: Why are you late? I’ve been waiting for ages!!!!!
Baekhyun: I had to work on the college paper, MOM!
Chanyeol: Why do you need to?
Chanyeol: Oh yeah, you’re the editor.
Chanyeol: Pfffft.
Baekhyun: ......
Chanyeol: Are you busy?
Baekhyun: Why?
Chanyeol: Because I’m thinking about this thing for a while now.
Baekhyun: What is it?
Chanyeol: Im going to call.
Baekhyun: K
Before Baekhyun had a chance to say hello, Chanyeol had welcomed him with a booming voice:
“I have a proposal.”
“Hello to you too.”
“I can sense you just rolled your eyes, Baek.” Chanyeol stifled a soft chuckle.
“So, what is this proposal thing? Because if it’s business, I don’t have any money because I’m poor.”
“What? Business? What the hell. It isn’t, just listen, okay. This is good.”
“Better be.”
This time it was Chanyeol who rolled his eyes.
“Okay, so I’m thinking, you know those cheesy best friends flicks you like to watch?”
“Excuse you, you love watching them too.”
“Yeah, well, this thing about the pact.”
Not hearing a reaction for Baekhyun, it signaled Chanyeol to continue.
“If you’re single and I’m single when we reach 2030, you’ll be 28 by then, so well, let’s just be together.”
Chanyeol grins and there was a stretch of a long silence.
“Are you serious?”
“I am. When is the time that I’m not?”
“Oh my God, you’re crazy.”
“Just think of it Baekhyun. It doesn’t mean that we will really end up together, you may find your true love or soul mate or whatever or I may be in a relationship that time, right?”
“Well yeah, technically, I bet you’ll be married earlier. We don’t need this shit Yeol”
“I want to try it Baekhyun. I want to.”
“You’re insane.”
“So it’s a deal?”
“You’re crazy.”
“It’s a yes then.”
Baekhyun murmurs a faint “fine.”
***
Changes are inevitable.
As Chanyeol counts the days, Baekhyun savors the memories.
“Finally, you answered your phone.”
“Sorry, I’ve been busy. Winter vacation will start and I still have a lot in my pocket.”
“It’s okay. I miss our late night calls Baek.”
“I’m sorry Yeol.”
“But we will see each other in a week. I’m excited, and i prepared a lot. Our band will enter this competition and....”
“Uhm, Yeol. I’m sorry. I won’t be able to go home.”
“Oh.”
“Sorry yeol. I’ll see you in summer. I’ll call again later. I need to do some stuff. Bye.”
Chanyeol wants to say goodbye but the annoying long tone is all he got.
***
From Chandumb:
WHY IS YOUR PROFILE PICTURE?
From Chandumb:
Oh you’re online.
Park Chanyeol: Why is a bacon stuff toy your profile photo?
Park Chanyeol: You finally admitted you’re a bacon, Baekhyun?
Park Chanyeol: HAHHAHAH
Park Chanyeol: I’m funny
Byun Baekhyun: WHHHUUT?
Byun Baekhyun: that bacon strip is cute :)
Byun Baekhyun: And someone gave it to me :)
Park Chanyeol: ??????
Park Chanyeol: Christmas is still faraway, your birthday was months ago.
Byun Baekhyun: hmmmm
Park Chanyeol: Oh. It isn’t for those.
Park Chanyeol: You got a girlfriend???!!!
Byun Baekhyun: I don’t.
Byun Baekhyun: It’s not a girl. It’s from a boy.
Park Chanyeol: Oh.
Park Chanyeol: Why didn’t you tell me about him?
Park Chanyeol: You’re keeping secrecy from me.
Byun Baekhyun: We aren’t a thing. And I don’t know if we will ever be a thing?
Byun Baekhyun: We’re both shy but I think I like him?
Park Chanyeol: Make up your mind dude.
Park Chanyeol: I’ll help you out :)
Byun Baekhyun: Oh, chat later. Need to do something. Bye.
***
From Chandumb:
BAEKHYUN!!! YOU’RE IN BUSAN! IT HAS BEEN A YEAR!!!!
From Baekie:
Yup, at Xiumin’s. See you!!!
***
“You’re here but you seem so far away. We only got 2 weeks Baek before you return to Seoul and you’re always texting someone.” Chanyeol had practiced the facial expressions, had mastered the words because his treasure time with his best friend was so short, he didn’t like that BAekhyun wasn’t really giving him much attention for the past couple of days.
With gathered confidence, he made his way into Baekhyun’s bedroom, opened the door and slammed it shut.
“Byun Baekhyun.” Firm, strong and final, Chanyeol mentally congratulated himself.
“Chanyeol.”
But the look on Baekhyun’s face wiped away Chanyeol’s oozing poise and was transformed into concern because Baekhyun looks like he had seen a ghost.
“What happened?” Chanyeol is full of anxiety
Baekhyun pants “I think we’re together.”
“What?”
“We’re together.”
“I don’t understand Baek.”
“Kris. Remember Kris? The one I’ve been telling you for the past months?”
“Because Kris said I love you and I said I love you too.” Baekhyun continued to blabber, words were jumbled, thoughts in disarray. “So, I don’t know. What will I do? Are we together?”
Chanyeol laughed hysterically, his eyes were twitching. “God Baek, you’re cute.”
“Chanyeol, this isn’t the time for compliments. I’m panicking here.”
“Yes, Baek, you’re together.”
“Oh my God, Yeol. Kris texted me, we will meet on Sunday. Oh my God.”
“Stop hyperventilating Baekhyun.”
“I need to go back to Seoul tomorrow!”
***
It has been a year since Baekhyun and Kris proclaimed their love for each other. It started out with simple exchanges of text messages and then escalated from late night calls. It took Kris one semester when he started to changes his class schedules to ___ with Baekhyun’s.
Baekhyun dreams of having a romantic relationship, the one that will last and he was sure, he’ll have that kind of romance with Kris so he gives his best effort to make the relationship work.
Though everything felt new and nice and Baekhyun’s time had been circling between studying and Kris; he still finds time to communicate with Chanyeol. Their bond gets stronger.
From Chandumb:
Saw your facebook posts. I can’t believe you’re a cheeseball Baek!!!
From Chandumb:
A poem. You wrote him a poem. HAHHAHAH
From Baekkie:
I’ll be online in a few and SHUT UP. IM HAPPY!
From Chanbaek:
I know :)
***
Two years into the relationship, Baekhyun is still happy. Kris still is the best boyfriend. Kris will wait for Baekhyun to finish his school work even if it takes more than 3 hours. Kris will make time for the both of them to meet even if Kris will travel hours. Kris will make sure Baekhyun gets home safely before he heads home. Kris is the perfect boyfriend.
“Shut up Baekhyun.” Kris hisses. It’s one of those days where they get into a fight. It’s one of those days were the fight leads to Baekhyun’s friendship with Chanyeol.
“I’m sick and tired of hearing Chanyeol this, Chanyeol that, Chanyeol, Chanyeol, Chanyeol.” Kris looks into Baekhyun’s eyes and Baekhyun suddenly feels guilt arising from every cell of his body because Kris’s orbs are communicating to him, they are screaming in pain.
Maybe Baekhyun has been talking about Chanyeol a lot lately but Baekhyun only wants Kris to know more about Chanyeol because if time permits, he wants 2 of the most important persons in his life to get along but maybe Kris’s has had enough.
“I’m sorry Kris.” Baekhyun whispers, barely audible but the pain is evident, is clear as a crystal.
Baekhyun feels his heart constricts because once again, he made Kris shed tears “It hurts Baekhyun because I’m the one with you but it seems your mind thinks of someone else.”
Baekhyun feels guilt. He feels he’s getting sick because he’s hurting Kris, again. And he just wants Kris’s pain to go away because Kris doesn’t deserve any of these.
“I won’t call or even text Chanyeol anymore.” Baekhyun bit his lips. It’s a promise.
“Promise me.” Kris softly utters.
“I promise.”
***
Baekhyun promises to treasure friendship. He once lost a friend, he is scared to lose another one but what can he do? He’s given a choice, to choose love over friendship? Or friendship over love? Is he really stupid to agree with Kris to cut his connection with Chanyeol because Baekhyun feels awful.
Every missed calls, Baekhyun squints.
Every seen texts, Baekhyun feels a tug in his heart.
Every chat messages, Baekhyun feels like dying.
All are left hanging by a thread because Baekhyun doesn’t answer nor reply.
From Chandumb:
“How are you? You didn’t call last night.”
From Chandumb:
“Baek, you busy?”
From Chandumb:
“Don’t study so hard, you need rest.”
From Chandumb:
“Will you call later tonight.”
From Chandumb:
“Baek?”
From Chandumb:
It has been two days Baek, where are you?
From Chandumb:
Are you busy?
From Chandumb:
Are you sick? Baekhyun?
***
From Chandumb:
“How are you? You didn’t call last night.”
From Chandumb:
“Baek, you busy?”
From Chandumb:
“Don’t study so hard, you need rest.”
From Chandumb:
“Byun Baek?”
***
Park Chanyeol: I know you’re online Byun Baekhyun.
Park Chanyeol: I just saw the green thing.
Park Chanyeol: What’s the problem Baek?
Park Chanyeol: Did I do something wrong?
Park Chanyeol: BYUN BAEKHYUN!!!!
Park Chanyeol: BAEKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!
Park Chanyeol: Im sorry okay? I really am sorry.
Park Chanyeol: I’m sorry
Park Chanyeol: :(
Park Chanyeol: Baekhyun?
Park Chanyeol: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
After a week if ignoring Chanyeol’s texts and call, Baekhyun had enough. He can’t stand the painful feeling his chest is.
“Fuck it.” He curses under his sheets and dials his best friend’s number. He hopes his best friend still recognizes him as one.
“Hello, this is Chanyeol speaking. How may I help you?”
“Chanyeol, this is Baekhyun.”
“Baek who?”
“Chanyeol!”
“I don’t recognize any Baekhyun.”
“Chanyeol, what the fuck?”
“Sorry, you called a wrong number.”
“Park Chanyeol. I swear to God!” Baekhyun is fuming not because of Chanyeol but because of himself. He knows he’s the biggest idiot. “I’m sorry okay. I really am sorry.”
“Okay.”
“Are we good?”
“No.”
“I really am sorry Chanyeol”
“Why did you ignore me?”
“Because.”
“What?”
“I’m just sorry.”
“If Kris was jealous, I’d understand but you don’t need to ignore me.” There is an apparent twinge in Chanyeol’s voice.
“I suck at being your best friend Yeol and I’m sorry. I really do.”
Baekhyun hears Chanyeol sigh.
“Just don’t ignore me again.” Comes a faint but clear response.
Baekhyun smiles because he knows they are already okay.
“I’m sorry Yeol. I missed your dumbness.”
Chanyeol laughs.
“You don’t know how much I missed you Baek.”
***
“Are you going home this weekend?” Chanyeol sounded excited but he is desperately hiding the fact that he is eager. “Vacation officially started yesterday, you know.”
“Hmmm” Baekhyun replies softly, “Yeol, I don’t think I can go home. I need to do things here in Seoul”
Chanyeol suddenly feels down as if all the happiness has been sucked out of his system. It’s the time of the year again. The memory is still fresh when Baekhyun surprised him during his birthday 2 years ago. Last year was a little different because despite Baekhyun not being physically with Chanyeol, the overflowing birthday greeting and messages from different people, all because Baekhyun asked them to greet him. Chanyeol kinda hopes Baekhyun surprises him too.
“Oh, okay.” He replies sadly then he hears a laugh coming from the other side of the line.
“Of course dummy, I’ll go home this weekend.”
“You made me nervous for a sec there.” And Chanyeol feels he can breathe again.
“I miss Xiumin hyung, I miss Sehun and luhan. I miss them so I’ll go home.”
“Don’t you remember anything aside from Xiumin and the others?”
“Yes, I think I’m going to Chen’s party, it’s his birthday next week.”
“Byun Baekhyun.”
“Calm down. I know, it’s your birthday” Baekhyun replies. “November 28, right?”
“I’m hanging up, goodbye.”
“I’m joking. It’s November 26.”
“That’s it. I’m not having this conversation.”
“It’s in the 27th and yes I’m coming. Of course I’m coming.”
“I’m going to strangle you.”
“You always fall for this joke.”
“Of course, I don’t want you forgetting my birthday.”
“How can I even?”
“You better.”
“See you soon Baek. I miss you.”
“Oh, wait, have to hang up now. Kris is calling me. Bye!”
***
“Are you here?”
“I’ll go home tomorrow, why?”
“Why didn’t you reserve a ticket for an earlier train?” Chanyeol demands because today is his birthday and Baekhyun promised to spend it with him.
“I needed to do some stuff here Yeol. Shit just got real here.”
Chanyeol wants to say, You promised. I missed you. Come home. But he doesn’t, he just says he understand. He doesn’t feel good now and the continuous knock on their gate isn’t helping either.
“There’s someone at the door that kept on banging the stupid gate.”
Chanyeol walks out, phone still pressed between his ears because if Baekhyun won’t be with him during his birthday, Baekhyun’s voice maybe is enough to make him happy during his birthday.
He opens the gate and “Damn it Baekhyun.” He screams.
“Why?” Baekhyun chuckles from the receiver making Chanyeol extra annoyed.
“Fuck!” Chanyeol curses while he snatches the person opened the door and envelopes him into a hug.
“You can hang up now.” Baekhyun grins on Chanyeol’s chest
“I hate you.” Chanyeol mutters before ending the call.
But Chanyeol’s smile was brighter than the sun’s light. He stops the tears from falling because why is he suddenly feeling so happy?
“I missed you Yeol.”
“I missed you too, Baek.”
“Let’s eat. I’m hungry.”
“Thank you ruining the mood.”
“Happy Birthday”
***
Byun Baekhyun: Seriously? You’re dating her?
Park Chanyeol: HAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHA
Park Chanyeol: Not yet but we’re getting there.
Byun Baekhyun: You’ve got to be kidding me.
Park Chanyeol: :))))))))))))))
***
Byun Baekhyun: TALL IDIOT!
Byun Baekhyun: HEY!
Park Chanyeol: Sup?
Byun Baekhyun: Who is this guy you’re in a relationship with?
Byun Baekhyun: ???
Park Chanyeol: It isn’t serious Baek.
Byun Baekhyun: WHAT?
Park Chanyeol: I’m breaking up with him in a week.
Byun Baekhyun: WHAT THE HELL?!
Park Chanyeol: later Baek, going out.
Park Chanyeol: bye!
Park Chanyeol: miss you!!!
***
Byun Baekhyun: Who is Dara?
Byun Baekhyun: She posted a lot on your timeline XD
Park Chanyeol: The girl I met last night.
Park Chanyeol: New girlfriend.
Byun Baekhyun: O.O
Byun Baekhyun: She’s like your third this year.
Byun Baekhyun: WHAT THE FUCK YEOL?
Park Chanyeol: This isn’t serious too.
Park Chanyeol: HAHAHHA!
Park Chanyeol: Chat later, band practice.
***
It’s Kris and Baekhyun’s third year together. Chanyeol has been going out with different girls and guys. Baekhyun warns him he should find someone serious but Chanyeol says he still has time and he needs to enjoy his youth.
Chanyeol surprised Baekhyun more than once but somehow Baekhyun knew every time. This time, the surprise comes out as a shock because not in a million years did Baekhyun expected Chanyeol to call him and say, “Kyungsoo and I are back together.”
How many years have passed since he last saw Kyungsoo? Fear engulfing Baekhyun because holy hell, Chanyeol getting back with Kyungsoo meaning he’ll face his ex best friend too. But Chanyeol sounded way too much happy and Baekhyun can’t spoil the fun out of Chanyeol, his weariness can wait.
“Fuck it!” Baekhyun screams over the receiver. “I’m happy Chanyeol as long as you are.”
“See you in Seoul in a few days Baek. I’ll visit Kyungsoo”
***
“Why are we at the bus station again” Yixing asks while he adjusts the straps of his backpack.
“We’re picking up Chanyeol.” Baekhyun replies.
“And Chanyeol is?”
“My best friend, Yixing you know him.”
Yixing laughs, “I know. Just want to make sure that is the same Chanyeol.
“He’ll be meeting with his boyfriend.” Baekhyun explains. He feels the need to.
“Why isn’t his boyfriend picking him up instead?”
“Because Kyungsoo is busy and Chanyeol isn’t familiar with Seoul. I need to make sure Chanyeol survives this city.”
“Are you sure Chanyeol is only a friend?”
Baekhyun raises his eyebrow. He never gets irritated with Yixing before because Yixing is a saint but now he feels different
“Shut it. You know I have Kris.”Baekhyun replies.
“I know, but you’re supposed to be with Kris today but then you ditch him for your best friend.”
Baekhyun doesn’t miss how Yixing has put an emphasis to the last word. He ignores it.
“I can meet up with Kris tomorrow. Chanyeol needs me today.”
“Does Kris know you’ll meet Chanyeol?”
“No.” Kris doesn’t because Kris will get angry and an angry Kris isn’t the best Kris and Baekhyun can’t stand arguments now. He’s guilty though for ditching Kris but Chanyeol needs him, his best friend needs him.
“Why?”
Baekhyun swears Yixing isn’t this talkative before and he prefers the less loquacious one.
“Because he’ll get angry. Chanyeol’s my bestfriend and I’m not supposed to be doing this.” But Baekhyun replies nonetheless.
“Why isn’t he angry with me being with you all the time? I’m your best friend too.”
Baekhyun sighs, he realizes, Yixing won’t shut up, “Kris thinks Chanyeol likes me.”
“I think so too” Yixing shrugs “Based from your stories.”
Baekhyun shots him a questioning look. “No, he’s not. And see, he has a boyfriend.”
Yixing nods and suddenly hums. Baekhyun feels the necessity to explain more because Yixing eyes’ are killing him.
“And Yixing, best friends don’t fall in love with each other.”
“Okay.” Yixing smiles, his dimples showing.
Baekhyun hates it.
***
Baekhyun’s heart is hammering against his chest. How many months? How many years? Words are jumbled into his mind because in a few minutes, he’ll see Kyungsoo again. It terrifying because it was one Baekhyun’s worst memories when they ended their friendship. Now that Chanyeol and Kyungsoo are back together, he’ll have to face his ex best friend again.
Is he still angry at me?
What should I say?
Should I shake hands with him?
Will a hug be too personal?
I hate Chanyeol.
He sighs while he waits with Chanyeol and Yixing in the restaurant where Kyungsoo will be picking up Chanyeol.
“You’re worried,” Chanyeol chuckles while putting an arm around Baekhyun.
“Shut up.” Baekhyun fires back.
“You’re too cute.” Chanyeol continues to snigger while he pinches Baekhyun’s cheeks.
“Stop it.” Baekhyun hisses. “Yixing, help me out.”
Yixing shots them a quick look but doesn’t do anything.
“Don’t worry. Everything will turn out good.”
Chanyeol stops pinching him and suddenly stands. Baekhyun feels like he’s about to collapse because Kyungsoo is standing on the door and he’s few meters away. Now he feels how he missed Kyungsoo, how he missed his best friend.
Ten steps.
Five.
Three.
One.
“Baek.” It’s the same voice.
“Soo”
And then everything happens so fast when Kyungsoo hugs Baekhyun and the two are just pour their hearts out.
Chanyeol finds it hard to stop himself from laughing because Kyungsoo and Baekhyun are crying like babies.
***
Kris is getting scared.
He really loves Baekhyun. Ever since he met him, his world tilted 360 degrees. They have been together for three years and going for four. Baekhyun can put up with his mood swings; with his cheesiness; with his constant problems; they fight a lot but at the end of the day, they will kiss and make up.
Their love isn’t perfect but he knows they are both happy. That’s the important thing, right?
It had already been years but Kris still has this doubt. He isn’t doubting Baekhyun’s love for him, he’s doubting if he’s giving the love that Baekhyun’s deserves. Because what if Baekhyun suddenly falls out of love because Kris’ love isn’t enough? It’s scary. Surely, Kris tries to be a perfect boyfriend but he sometimes feel he isn’t.
Kris’s confidence isn’t that strong because a certain guy always tries to make it crumble into pieces. He knows he isn’t supposed to be jealous over friendships but Park Chanyeol has been getting on his nerves for the past years. He feels something and that something scares him.
He’s too sacred Baekhyun will be snatched from him.
Though Baekhyun would always assure him that Chanyeol is only a friend, Kris isn’t all that relieved. Maybe because BAekhyun has been with Chanyeol longer than he is. Maybe Chanyeol has seen Baekhyun in more ways than he did. Or maybe because Baekhyun’s eyes light up more when he’s talking with Chanyeol over the phone than with Baekhyun chatting with Kris over lunch.
Best friend. Kris repeats.
Yixing is Baekhyun’s college sort of best friend too. But why isn’t Kris getting jealous over Baekhyun spending his time with Yixing?
Luhan is Baekhyun’s Busan friend too but why isn’t Kris getting jealous if Baekhyun is talking with Luhan over the phone for hours?
Why is it just Chanyeol?
Kris places his right hand on his heart, “I don’t want to lose you Baekhyun.”
***
“I can’t believe four years already passed.”
“I’m graduating tomorrow.”
“Congrats, Baek! I’ll treat you once you visit Busan.”
“I’ll be holding onto this Chanyeol, be prepared.”
Baekhyun really is excited to graduate His mom will be there and so is Xiumin. He waits patiently at the train station to welcome his cousin. He’s shaking because he’s too excited. The train arrives and he pushes his away into the crowd when he spots him.
“Xiumin.” He screams.
Xiumin sees him and waves his hands. Suddenly Baekhyun feels he’s being grabbed from behind by someone. It happens too fast and soon he’s being hugged by a person, his initial thought is to scream but before he can do anything, he hears a familiar voice.
“Congratulations Byun Baekhyun.”
“I hate you so much Park Chanyeol.”
***
“Kyungsoo and I broke up.” Chanyeol explains over the phone. “But it’s a good break up, I think.”
Baekhyun only hums in response.
“We ended up being friends.”
“I think this is just exactly what we need, like a good closure.”
***
From Chandumb:
I broke up with Minah :)
From Baekie:
WTF?!!!
From Chandumb:
She doesn’t have the right to get mad at you.
From Baekie:
But Yeol, she’s your girlfriend. I understand she might get jealous over me.
From Chandumb:
But you’re my best friend Baekhyun and I don’t want my partner to get mad at you. No one should. Friendship is more important.
From Baekie:
Awwwwww, Chanyeol <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
From Chandumb:
I’m still mad at you, though.
From Baekie:
I’m sorry :)
From Chandumb:
You made me believe you forgot my birthday then after a few antagonizing days, you upload this video. I hate you!!!! You made me cry.
From Baekie:
I’m awesome!!!! I’m great with surprises. You will never beat me. BUWAHAHA!
From Chandumb:
Thanks Baek! <3
From Baekie:
I’m sorry for not greeting you on the day of your birthday though, but I hope you had a good one, Happy Birthday again.
From Chandumb:
It wasn’t perfect before but you made it a couple of days after.
From Chandumb:
Yours is the best-est present.
***
Getting help from Byun Baekhyun's other best friend is even harder than performing nonstop for the band. Chanyeol has a list of reasons.
First, Chanyeol refuses to recognize Baekhyun has another best friend other than him. Luhan being one of Baekhyun’s closest friends in Seoul took him years before he finally acknowledges their relationship and now, Chanyeol has to deal with Baekhyun’s other bestfriend; best friend from Seoul who goes by the name of Yixing.
Second, Chanyeol hates the fact that Yixing knows Baekhyun well. Isn’t Chanyeol supposed to be the only one knowing Baekhyun like a book; he also failed to acknowledge Kris’s presence in Baekhyun’s life.
Third, Chanyeol had to utilize all his powers, if he has any to talk with Yixing.
Fourth, Chanyeol doesn’t like the idea of Baekhyun having another best friend who has the same course as Baekhyun during college and even now, with their post graduate studies.
Fifth, Chanyeol loathes that Baekhyun has another best friend other than him, oh, that’s the first one already.
"What do you need?" Yixing asks nicely.
Chanyeol can sense the arrogance in every word uttered. Chanyeol is pacing back and forth and circling around his bedroom.
“This is Chanyeol.” He says.
“Yes. You already said that awhile ago?” Yixing corrects him calmly.
Chanyeol detests it. “I need help.”
“Okay.” Yixing answers, “I assume, this is for Baekhyun’s birthday.”
Chanyeol nods but he remembers Yixing is on the phone so he quickly says, “Yes”
“Okay, I’ll help you out.” Yixing replies, “You can tell me about your plans.”
“Thanks.”
“I promise I won’t mention anything to Baekhyun” He hears Yixing mumbles but the next line makes him realize Yixing is a good man, no, slash that out, Yixing is a great man. And he wants to befriend Yixing too.
“I’ll make sure Kris won’t know this too.”
“You’re a great help.”
Yixing laughs on the other end of the phone, “If it makes Baekhyun happy, I’m happy too. So let’s start brainstorming.”
***
Baekhyun hasn’t received a word from Chanyeol yet. Normally, Chanyeol is the first one to greet him during his birthday but no, the mighty Park Chanyeol hasn’t greeted him yet. They exchange a few texts messages but the bastard hasn’t even remembered his birthday.
Baekhyun purposely hinted but Park Chanyeol is really dumb.
Baekhyun hates it.
“Baekhyun” he hears Yixing call him.
“Yeah?”
“I think Mr. Jung needs us in the auditorium.”
Baekhyun sighs but complies anyway. On their way, Baekhyun blabbers and bothers Yixing on how Chanyeol forgets his birthday; on how dumb Chanyeol is and on how he hates everything that is Park Chanyeol. Yixing never utters a reply and Baekhyun is too furious to even notice.
They arrive and again Baekhyun fails to notice that no one’s in the auditorium beside him and Yixing. But BAekhyun’s attention is caught when music started playing.
“Better enjoy this one because Mr. Jung didn’t know I paid the tech to play this damn video.” Yixing whispers before he leaves the auditorium.
“Happy Birthday Baekhyun.” He hears Luhan’s voice and he sees Luhan’s pretty face on the wid screen.
“Hyung, happy birthday. I love you.” It Sehun’s turn and after he utters the I love you, he is pushed by Luhan and is that Chanyeol?
“Happy Birthday and I’m sorry for everything.” Baekhyun smiles when he sees Suho.
“My dear cousin, Happy Birthday.” Xiumin flashes a wide grin.
Baekhyun regrets that he even thought of hating Chanyeol because how can he now when Chanyeol’s face is at the screen smiling at him, “Happy birthday best friend. This one’s for you.”
And soon he witnessed the band playing, he isn’t the usual performance because today Chanyeol is the one singing.
Baekhyun’s eyes are glued to the screen.
“This is the best damn birthday gift” Baekhyun utters after the video ended.
He dials in Chanyeol’s number and quickly says, “You’re the best Chanyeol.”
***
Baekhyun spends his vacation in Busan, I deserve a rest. He proclaims after the last hour of the last class transpired.
“I really love her Baek. This is the first time I’ve ever felt this. It feels so real.”
“Im happy for you, Chanyeol.” Baekhyun really does and he hoped, from the bottom of his heart that Chanyeol will finally find the one who would fill up the missing pieces in his heart.
“Come over for breakfast.” Chanyeol says into the receiver.
“Okay, be there in a while.”
Chanyeol has patiently waited for Baekhyun to arrive; he prepared a breakfast for two; it’s been so long when they shared a breakfast together and Chanyeol feels excited. Once the doorbell had rang, Chanyeol quickly makes his way towards the gate, somehow, his happiness faltered just a little bit.
“Wassup?” Luhan greets him.
“I came with a plus 1” Baekhyun grins. “He drives.”
Over breakfast, the topic over Chanyeol’s recent love escapade has been the sole point.
Luhan and Baekhyun announces at the same time, “4 months.”
Chanyeol gasps, “4 months?”
“I’m giving both of you four months.” Baekhyun declares proudly.
“Same here.” Luhan pipes.
“Thanks for being supportive guys.”
“You’re welcome” Both teasingly grin.
***
Baekhyun can’t forsee the future, he is no fortune teller. But somehow, his jokes came true because after four months, Chanyeol is calling him and crying like crazy.
“Hello, Baek… I”
The words were vague but the voice was engraved into Baekhyun’s system. It didn’t take a second for Baekhyun to notice the sadness lingering in every word.
“Yeol.”
“We broke up Baek.”
“I’m sorry.”
Evert heart break, Baekhyun wants to be there for Chanyeol; every tear, Baekhyn would want to wipe it away from Chanyeol’s face.
“It really hurts Baekhyun. I want you here Baek.”
“I’m sorry Chanyeol. I’m really sorry.”
Baekhyun had waited for the line to go dead as he continued to listen to Chanyeol sobbing at the other end of the line. It has always been like this, every broken relationship, Baekhyun was always there to hear out Chanyeol’s heart break, to hear every pain, to listen to every cry. It was indeed heart clenching not only because Chanyeol was hurting but because Baekhyun felt he was useless, he can’t see, to wipe away Chanyeol’s troubles and grief.
I’m sorry Yeol, I’m really sorry.
Baekhyun whispered though he knew it was left unheard.
Baekhyun wakes up with muffled laughter and faded hums and chatter.
Baekhyun. Baekhyun. Baek. Byun Baek. Byun Baekhyun.
His mind was not processing the things clearly as he continued to hear his name.
“Baekhyun!”
Once fully awake, he realized he wasn’t dreaming, the sounds were coming from his phone and as he checked it out, he realized he forgot to end the call last night.
“Baekhyun. Byun Baek. Bacon. Byun Bacon. Let’s eat Bacon.”
“What the hell Yeol.”
“Hello? Hello? Byun Baek?”
“What?”
“You’re awake. I’ve been on the call for almost an hour.” Chanyeol chuckled. “You dummy, you forgot to end the call last night.”
“Stating the obvious, you’re dumber.”
Baekhyun knew that despite Chanyeol’s laughter and giggles, the pain was still in his best friend’s heart but he refused to touch the topic and continued to divert their conversation as far away as possible.
***
“Are you coming home to Busan?” Kris asked.
“I think so, it has been awhile. I need to rest. But if you don’t want, I can stay here.”
“Will it be okay if you know,” Kris smiled.
“Hmm?”
“If I come with you?”
Baekhyun’s eyes widened “Are you serious Kris? Oh my God! Yes, of course.”
Four years into their relationship, Kris has finally agreed on coming to Busan with him.
***
Baekhyun feels the need to announce it to everyone. He calls Luhan and Sehun. He asks Xiumin’s permission and lastly, he informs Chanyeol.
“You sound happy. I can feel your intense happiness up to here and we’re miles away. Spill.”
“I’m coming home this vacation.”
“Are you serious? You better not fucking kidding with me Baekhyun.”
“I am.”
“We haven’t seen each other in a year Baek, if this is a joke, I’m going to strangle you.”
“I bought train tickets already, don’t worry.”
“Tickets?”
“Yes, Kris will come too. I’m so excited Chanyeol. Finally, you will all meet Kris.”
Baekhyun continues to blabber about the things he would like to do; the places he will show Kris; the plans he would like for him and Kris. Everything was between Kris and him. No Chanyeol.
Somehow, Chanyeol feels pain. But it was different; it was more like a stab in the chest but he couldn’t pin point too much.
It is terrifyingly strange.
***
All around him, people ambled in and out of the house, woefully unaware of what’s taking place on his mind. It was his own world and his own realization and Chanyeol wanted to scream. He knew, though, that they’d only look at him like he was crazy, but maybe he is. What he had discovered, though, was beyond crazy. It was insane; frighteningly insane.
Because Chanyeol realizes he is in love.
He has been in love for the past three years, maybe even longer.
He is in love, not with Kyungsoo or Mina, or with any other girl or boy in between.
He had been in love and is still in love with only one.
He is in love with his best friend.
Chanyeol is in love with Byun Baekhyun.
And it sucks, because he’s late.
His heart clenches as he sees Baekhyun’s lips on Kris’s.
Chanyeol didn’t see it coming. Perhaps, he saw something or more like felt something- like how his stomach churned when he saw his best friend walking hand in hand with Kris or how his heart had painfully slammed against his chest when he saw his best friend scribbled words that soon turned into poems and Kris’s name was on every single one of them but Chanyeol refused to acknowledge what his heart was whispering to him. He was busy tending to his own girlfriend, making sure she would experience the best relationship. Until Chanyeol realized what was missing.
Chanyeol is in love with Byun Baekhyun.
And maybe he is always too late.
***
“Baekhyun.” Chanyeol, barely audible tries to stay calm because ever since that day when he realizes he’s in love with his best friend, he can’t really think of anything else.
“Yes, Yeol?” Baekhyun says into the phone.
Chanyeol waits for a few seconds before replying, “What will happen when you’re already 28?”
Chanyeol is betting on something he doesn’t even know what.
“I don’t know. I still have a few years. Why?”
“We had a pact remember?” Maybe it is a plead but Chanyeol doesn’t mind.
Baekhyun is taken aback because it came out of the blue. Yes, he remembers the pact. Yes, he remembers he agreed to it but he didn’t take it seriously because he has Kris.
“Will you stay with Kris forever?”
Baekhyun doesn’t know what is happening. Why is Chanyeol asking him bizarre questions? Why is everything suddenly seem so frightening?
“Yeol, I..”
“I know Baek, I know. Call you tomorrow. Bye.”
Baekhyun stares into his phone.
“What the hell is happening?”
***
From: Chanyeol
I need you Baekhyun, it hurts too much.
But the text is left unsent.
***
“This is the best birthday” Chanyeol shouted like there’s no tomorrow. Everyone laughs, Baekhyun has the brightest smile because he is too elated seeing his best friend screaming in joy. The weeks have been confusing with Chanyeol suddenly dropping hints. Baekhyun notices because he isn’t dumb but he refuses to accept. He flatly pays no attention to it. He thinks maybe Chanyeol is experiencing the break up syndrome or something. So he continues to take no notice of Chanyeol’s consistent I think we look good together Baek. I think we can make a good couple. Luhan said we’re cute together, do you think so too?
Baekhyun thanks the God when it suddenly stops. Because if it didn’t, Baekhyun can’t bear to go home to Busan and celebrate Chanyeol’s birthday because he thinks it isn’t right. Chanyeol needs to get his shit together and realize Baekhyun has Kris and Chanyeol is just confused.
“Time to go home.” Minseok announces.
Baekhyun makes his way towards Sehun, “You’re not drunk right?”
“Of course.” Sehun grins.
“Good” Baekhyun pats the younger’s back. “Make sure Yeol gets home safe, okay?”
Sehun smirks and put an arm around Baekhyun’s shoulder, “Of course hyung. I will, you don’t have to worry too much.”
“Thanks.”
“I think Chanyeol hyung needs you there.” Sehun points at a drunken Chanyeol waving his hands wildly.
Baekhyun sighs and softly mutters another thanks and quickly makes his way towards his giant best friend.
“Chanyeol, time to go home, get out of the pool.” He warns while trying to help Xiumin pull Chanyeol from the pool.
Chanyeol recognizes him and tries to step out of the water, “Oh, hey there Baek.”
“Time to go home.” Xiumin says again.
“Baekhyun.” It’s deep, hoarse and scary.
Baekhyun feels the need to suddenly run away because he senses trouble, he deems something will happen and he doesn’t want it to happen whatever it is. So he quickly moves away and chooses to be with Luhan.
“Why are you here?” Luhan asks and the question is scary too.
“I don’t know.”
Baekhyun treasures friendship and right now, his friendship with Chanyeol is his most precious one. He wants to keep Chanyeol as his best friend forever; he doesn’t want his friendship with Chanyeol to have scars that aren’t erasable. He wants it to be just the way it is.
So his heart is suffering from agony when Chanyeol pours his heart out.
“Baekhyun. Baekhyun. Baekhyun.” Chanyeol screams. “I told you before; I told you many times, you don’t need Kris. You can leave Kris. I’m here Baekhyun. I’m here.”
Blood drains from Baekhyun’s face because Chanyeol didn’t just announce something so outrageous. He feels his heart vessels constrict. All of their friends are staring at him strangely. Sehun has this sad face and Sehun isn’t the one who shows his sad face, it’s always either a poker face or a extra happy teasing face.
“Yeol, you’re drunk. You need to go home.” Baekhyun spats but he isn’t looking Chanyeol in his eyes.
“No, I am not. I’m perfectly okay.” Chanyeol screams again while he zigzags.
He really is drunk.
“Chanyeol…”
“Baekhyun!” Chanyeol screams on top of his lungs. Every fiber of his body is screaming with him , “you can leave Kris, you can dump him, please leave Kris, please leave him because I’m here. I’m always here.”
Baekhyun’s heart is violently hammering against his ribcage. It feels so right but so wrong at the same time. Chanyeol is his best friend, no more, no less. Best friends don’t fall in love with each other right?
“I’m always here Baekhyun.”
“I’ll always be here.”
“Baekhyun, I know why Kyungsoo and I never worked out. I know why despite of trying hard, we never worked out. I know why it never worked with anyone. Baekhyun I know why.”
Chanyeol was in tears. He doesn’t know if it was the alcohol doing all the talk or his heart had been leading his confidence but everything he was blurting out were the truths, were his realizations - the painful reality he refused to accept.
“It never worked out with anyone because there was always you.”
“I’m never satisfied with anyone because they are not you.”
“I’m never really happy to be with any of them because I’m happiest when I’m with you.”
“Baekhyun, it never worked out because all of them were not you.”
“It never worked out because ever since then, it was you, ever since then, I have loved you.”
***
Park Chanyeol: You left without saying goodbye. I’m hurt.
Byun Baekhyun: Sorry, I didn’t want to wake you up. You pretty much needed the rest
Byun Baekhyun: You drank too much.
Park Chanyeol: I don’t remember much from last night.
Park Chanyeol: Did you bring me home???
Byun Baekhyun: Sehun did. Aside from me and Luhan, he’s the only one sober.
Park Chanyeol: HAHHAHAH
Park Chanyeol: My head hurts :(
Park Chanyeol: I shouldn’t have drunk too much alcohol.
Park Chanyeol: When will you come back?
Park Chanyeol: Christmas?
Byun Baekhyun: BRB Yeol, Kris’s here.
Park Chanyeol: Ok.
***
Yixing watches as Kris puts a protective arm around Baekhyun’s shoulders as they walk around the university hallways. They look perfect, he thinks. But something in Baekhyun’s smile today that he can’t put his finger into. It seems different.
“See you later?” Kris asks while he softly plants a kiss into BAekhyun’s right cheek.
“Yes, see you.” Baekhyun replies.
Yixing waits until Kris’s image fades away from the crowd when he drops the bomb.
“What’s your problem?”
“I don’t know me.” Baekhyun replies simply without any denial.
“Is that even grammatically correct?”
“This isn’t the time to correct my choices of words Yixing.”
Yixing laughs but he knows he shouldn’t be laughing. “It’s just a phase.” He offers.
“Phase?” Baekhyun looks even more confused than before.
“Yup. Just a phase in your relationship”
It took Baekhyun a while to realize what Yixing is referring to, he sudden has this eureka moment when he mentions “Chanyeol.”
“Yup, Chanyeol is just a phase.”
“I’m confused.”
“Of course you will be. Who wouldn’t? You spent your years with him the longest. He knows you more than anyone else. And now he’s confessing he loves you? You’ll be confused.”
“He didn’t confess.”
If the words leave Kris because I’m here doesn’t constitute as confessing then what is it?
Baekhyun sighs wearily, he isn’t supposed to be confused because he’s one hundred percent sure he loves Kris. He even dreams of getting married to Kris. He is more than a thousand percent sure he isn’t just in love with the idea that he loves Kris. He loves Kris, he’s sure, isn’t he?
“I love Kris” He says.
“I know.” Yixing smiles, dimples showing. Baekhyun hates that smile.
“But you want a perfect relationship. And somewhere in your heart, you think you’ll have it.” Lay briefly pauses, “But why are you thinking of having it not with Kris but with someone else?”
Baekhyun looks lost because for the longest time, he knows his perfect relationship is with Kris.
He knows it, Yixing knows it, and everyone knows it.
“It isn’t wrong to dream of having a perfect relationship, Baekhyun” Yixing reaches out for his hand. Baekhyun doesn’t want to hear anything anymore but he can’t shut down his system so he continues to listen to Yixing’s words “Baekhyun, there is no such thing as a perfect love.”
“You love Kris. I know, we know. But the question lies within a question, Is Kris the only one you love?”
Love will bring you happiness but it isn’t love if you won’t feel pain. Baekhyun closes his eyes, he needs to rethink everything. He needs to make a decision.
“I don’t want to hurt him.”
“Eventually one of them will get hurt.”
***
From Ludeer:
Hey Baekhyun!
From Baekie
Hi Luhan!
From Ludeer:
How are you?
From Baekie:
I’m fine.
From Ludeer:
So are you going to pretend nothing happened?
From Baekie:
It’s for the better Luhan.
From Ludeer:
But Chanyeol remembered every word he uttered Baekhyun.
From Ludeer:
He meant it.
From Ludeer:
And you know it.
***
It’s really unfair.
Baekhyun isn't sure how long he's buried under the sheets of his bed. Everything hurts. It's painful, so sorrowful and he can't move, he doesn’t want to move. He shuts himself with everyone - even with Kris. His mother tried persuading him to eat but he shoos her. He knows he‘s being disrespectful, he mentally notes to apologize after all the things have been sort out but Baekhyun is sure, it will take a while. He doesn’t get out of bed even when his mother announces Yixing has visited him or Kris has been staying for hours on their living room. He doesn’t need anyone.
He flinches when he hears the door being opened and footsteps coming towards him. He’s too exhausted. He means it when he says he doesn’t want to see anyone.
“Mom, how many times do I have to tell you.” Baekhyun spats. “I want to be alone.”
Baekhyun hears his mother sigh, oh wait, it isnt his mother, the sigh sounded like a man.
“Baekhyun” He hears a familiar voice. It isn’t Yixing’s or Kris’s.
“I know you want to be alone.” The voice starts and Baekhyun feels like dying. “But you can’t solve this on your own.”
Baekhyun tries to ignore the words. Everything is too painfully excruciating.
"Kris just went home. He looks sad Baek.”
Baekhyun’s mind clearly perceives Kris’s face and he hates himself because he knows he’s the one causing the sadness. Baekhyun puts his palms into his ears preventing to hear the words.
Soon, he feels the sheets being removed, he doesn’t resist though. Baekhyun eyes squint from the sudden light. “Come here.” His friend snatches him and hugs him tightly. "You know Baekhyun, what you need is a best friend.”
The boy doesn’t let go, “And I’m here because I’m your best friend, right?”
Baekhyun cries all over Kyungsoo’s shirt while he nods repeatedly. It took awhile for Baekhyun to calm down; Kyungsoo has been a great support. He patiently waits for Baekhyun to stop crying and assures he won’t leave him.
After a few minutes, Kyungsoo feels the needed to start solving the issues.
“Everything will be all right.” Kyungsoo encourages, “But I think Kris deserves an explanation.”
Baekhyun’s eyes are red and puffy and they hurt too.
“Chanyeol needs and answer too.”
Baekhyun doesn’t answer and keeps his head down.
“You know” Kyungsoo is smiling at him, Baekhyun missed this smile. This is a genuine smile coming from Kyungsoo. “I have always known that Chanyeol likes you.”
Baekhyun is now staring at Kyungsoo wide eyed.
“Chanyeol lights up when he’s with you. Chanyeol is himself when he’s with you. Chanyeol is never happier when he’s with you.”
“I think that’s why we never work it because Chanyeol has always been in love with you.”
Baekhyun can feel his tears running down from eyes, again.
“But I love Kris.”
“I know. I can feel it.” Kyungsoo wipes away the fallen tears, “But don’t you think you love Chanyeol too?”
***
“I love you Baekhyun.”
A tall man walks in front of him, Baekhyun smiles. His heart is overflowing with happiness. He waits until the man envelopes him into a hug before he whispers his answer.
“I love you too, Kris.”
***
Today is Byun Baekhyun’s 28th birthday and today is also his wedding day.
As he walks down the aisle, he can see his friends smiling at him. Kyungsoo has this wide grin plastered on his face while a tan man’s hand is on Kyungsoo’s waist. Sehun and Luhan are inseparable and have been married for 2 years. It isn’t a surprise when Luhan is the one who proposed because Luhan is an impatient bastard.
He smiles when he sees Kris on the far end, so beautifully handsome with his white suit.
Baekhyun walks slowly, honestly, he isn’t sure why he’s the one walking down the aisle because walking down the aisle is for the brides right? And Baekhyun surely isn’t the bride in the relationship but he agrees nonetheless.
A few more steps and he sees Kris who is flashing a wide smile.
“You look beautiful” Kris utters.
“I’m not a girl.” Baekhyun pouts.
“But you are.” Kris argues, “Are you ready?”
“I’ve never been this ready.”
Baekhyun remembers everything by dates but somewhere along the way, he started to treasure memories, may it be painful or happy. Baekhyun forgets numbers but memories stay in his heart. He recalls Kyungsoo’s confession that he finally met the one. He remembers how Luhan proposed to Sehun while during one of their band performances; the look on Sehun’s face has been stamped on his mind. He remembers how the guy he’ll marry proposed to him. It’s raining and they’re on the Ferris wheel and suddenly it stopped while they’re on top. And his mind and heart remembers the words, “I will love you forever, I promise to love you, only you, will you marry me?”
Baekhyun laughs at the memory because he thinks he is supposed to cry back then but he didn’t because how can he cry when he’s too busy comforting the other one because when he said yes, the man broke down sobbing.
Baekhyun smiles as he recalls Kris being the best guy. Kris will always be in his heart because Kris is one of his best friends.
“Then go get your husband to be.” Kris, the best man, lightly pushes him forward.
They promise a love that leads to forever.
Baekhyun’s eyes are in tears when he utters, “I do. And I promise to love you forever, Park Chanyeol.”
“I love you.”