[ Entry 22 ] Fate's Ways
Title: Fate’s Ways
Author name: anonymous
Genre: Romance, angst, sliceoflife
Prompt: “Only need the light when its burning low, only miss the sun when it starts to snow
“Where the hell are you?” the urgent voice demanded on my mobile phone. “Goddamnit Park tell me where the hell are you?!” Recalling that moment still feels raw even now, several years later.
---
It was Saturday that Baekhyun and I argued whether or not I should go to the community group meetings I had scheduled in a town a few kilometres north of our home. Our youngest son, Chanhee, who was 6, was still resting in bed, having not quite recovered from fever. The meeting wasn’t that important, but I insisted on going.
“Our son is sick and you have the intention on going to some lousy meeting?” Baekhyun rubbed his temples, laying his back on the wall. “Seriously Chanyeol, I thought you could have at least a small thought about him.”
“It’s not just a meeting, ok, it’s an important one and I have to go. You know how it is.”
“I know, I know you’re one of the important member and you want to keep your records clean, but Chanyeol I have an important dinner with my bosses tonight! I can’t say I can’t go just because my son is sick, that’s not how they roll.”
“You always go the way they want it to be. Why can’t you for once in your goddamn life Baek, stand up for yourself and fucking rebel.” My voice went an octave higher; I couldn’t help but show my annoyance to Baekhyun. I was annoyed, his career annoyed me in ways I couldn’t explain. It was probably because Baekhyun was the type to follow every order his bosses gave, and wouldn’t even question it. It’s somewhat bothering for me to see.
I saw Baekhyun’s face changed, from displeased to anger, and that was when all hell break loose.
I couldn’t recall how long we argued, how loud our screams and shouting’s were, and the look of Chanhee’s face when we both stopped and watched him watching us fighting. But all I know it almost breaks my heart, until Baekhyun ushered him back into his room and shut the door.
He didn’t go to his dinner, neither did I.
---
Baekhyun loves to draw, he could draw portraits, sceneries, birds, animals, and houses…you name it. He was talented; it was a trait from his side of the family. He’d always take his brown sketch book from his drawer, a freshly sharped pencil and starts to draw anything on his mind could imagine. It was always soothing to watch him sitting there, his lips curves into a smile once in a while.
But I was too ignorant.
I never really cared if it was a hobby, or what he liked to do. I didn’t even care if my son Chanhee came running to him in small yet fast quick steps to help him draw, or doodle, a horse or an airplane. He was my husband, and what I wanted is what he needs to please.
“Baekhyun, make me a cup of coffee.”
I could see his face almost broke to devastation but he would quickly turn it into a blank face when he looks at me, saying ok then smiling as if he was happy to please whatever I wanted. I knew it was something he didn’t mind to do, but I didn’t care.
---
“Busan? That’s really far.”
“I know, but its work. And I can’t really say anything; it’s a part of the job, Baek.” I closed the suitcase and lock it, putting them next to the door for travel tomorrow and grabbed my towel to take a shower.
“I understand.”
---
I remembered meeting Baekhyun for the first time, looking all powerful sitting on a big table in his own room. He invited me to sit, and asked whether I’d like some tea or coffee. As usual I would ask for coffee and waited for him to make one.
I’ve been a coffee lover since forever, but the aroma coming from the coffee he made was different, somewhat it gave off a different feel and tingles to my body and I was excited to drink.
The first sip was magical; I haven’t had coffee made by a normal person this amazing and delicious. The moment it went down my throat, I looked at him and I knew I met the person I wanted to have as a husband.
Honestly, I am good looking. I wouldn’t even try to hide the fact that I’m also a terribly good persuader and socially attractive. My different hairstyle compared to the other people in the year 1994 caught eyes of many people, and that was why I had been into many relationships.
The amount was uncountable, I even brought them back home to meet my parents but I never really had any intention of marrying them. Yes, they were good lovers, great in bed and etc, but really, marriage wasn’t something they gave an aura of. They were, as what some people would call, flings.
But Byun Baekhyun, he was gorgeous. And had a really good career as a government lawyer, a good pay too. I didn’t care what and how, at that time I was really keen on making him as my husband. He, rawly rejected the offer.
“Sorry, I don’t date Air Forces, especially a crazy one like you.”
My parents found it weird that I was very passionate to marry Baekhyun, regularly asking me why and all the facts about my past relationships. I turned a deaf ear and ignore everyone because I had my own reasons.
He was gorgeous and had a good career. Plus, I was already 26 and needed to get married.
He accepted my proposal, and we got married 9 months later from my hard work of writing letters and going to and fro from Seoul and Mokpo just to have lunch or dinner together.
We never really had the time to know each other, I was busy, he was busy and that was probably why we never really get along well.
---
“Say hi to papa!” I saw Chanhee almost hitting his forehead to the screen to grab my face on my monitor. I laughed and smiled, waving to him.
“Papa! Why are you in the computer?” his innocent question made the both of us laugh, I intended to tease him.
“I’m trapped in the computer, Chanhee! Help me get out from here.”
“Oh no papa! I want to help! Daddy, help me get papa out from the computer!” Baekhyun laughs, proceed to play along with me. It was so wonderful to watch my family so happy, especially the fact that I had a wonderful, caring and hardworking husband that is terribly loyal to me and an adorable son who’ll soon grow up to be just as amazing as his daddy.
But it was I who made everything worse.
“Why is your room dirty?” asked Baekhyun after Chanhee went back to his room to play with his toys.
“Gosh, Baek, do you really have to even scold me from the computer?” I asked in annoyance. It was a habit of Baekhyun that loved cleaning and perfection that somehow got me irritated. He and I were total opposites; I was more care-free and didn’t mind my room smelled like cigars.
“Oh I’m sorry, is it wrong for me to actually care?”
“No, but it’s kinda annoying that you have to even point it out in skype.”
“I was just asking, its’ really dirty.”
“Do we have to go through this again, Baek? I’m really tired and I have work tomorrow.”
I heard Baekhyun sighed, and closed his eyes. “Fine, goodnight Yeol.” And the conversation ended.
---
“FUCK YOU PARK CHANYEOL!”
His screams, cries and whimpers pierced through my ears like an arrow shooting through an apple, all the profanities he threw was something I wouldn’t have imagined Baekhyun to even have in his mind. He hit me everywhere he could land his fist on; my arms, chest, and I knew he even tried to aim my face. It didn’t hurt, but the feeling of regret in my gut hurts me more than every hit he gave.
“After all these time, I have been extremely loyal to you to the level I could even be your fucking slave and you do this bullshit to me? What the fuck do you have to say, Chanyeol? You’re a fucking jerk!”
More cries, more hits, more pangs in my chest.
Baekhyun grabbed my phone and threw it to me. “I never cared if you always treat me badly, or that you control my life, or whatever the things your ego wants to be fed, but having to treat some other people the way you should have treated me is unacceptable! Chanyeol, you are married!”
“Fuck you, fuck your life and every other women and men you have ever had sex with.”
I took a deep breath, digesting every shouts and screams Baekhyun cried out. I didn’t dare to look up the head mirror to look at Chanhee sitting at the back. I started the engine and drove back to our house and Baekhyun ran our room and locking the door until the next day.
---
I wasn’t shocked when Baekhyun asked for a divorce the next day. I wasn’t surprised to see his favourite red luggage already by the door, and Chanhee’s next to it.
I couldn’t say anything by the time they both walk out from the door and with every cry I could hear from Chanhee, my heart dies.
---
The smile on Baekhyun’s face was all I need for me to walk into his office and hugged him. I could feel my uniform wet from his tears but I didn’t mind. We hugged for who knows how long as he chants every ‘thank you’s’ and ‘I love you’s’ he could give. I smiled, knowing I’m the luckiest man in the world.
“Happy Anniversary, Baek.”
---
It wasn’t really surprising when Kyungsoo threw a knife at me, aiming my head but missed by an inch and hit the wall behind me. Kai holds onto Kyungsoo like person trying to tame a lion from killing a prey, which was me. I knew it was a bad idea, and the knife clearly showed it was.
“I’ll fucking kill you, Park Chanyeol! I’m gonna smash your head like fucking mash potatoes and feed it to the pigs!”
13 minutes later, Kai locks him in his room.
“You had the balls to come here, Park, not that I’m surprised.” Kai throws himself on the couch, offering me some biscuits he could grab from the kitchen. “Biscuits? Kyungsoo made them yesterday. Hope you like bananas.”
“Thanks, but I’m just here to ask something.”
“About Baekhyun, is it?” Of course Kai knew what I wanted to ask, he knew me since high school. There wasn’t a tiny, little thing he wouldn’t know. He was like my long lost twin, a brother from another mother. “You know, I knew you’re such an ignorant brat, super egoistical and high headed but seriously, what you did to Baekhyun was stupid. Having phone sex, sexting and flings? I thought you’re done with that past life? You’re fucking married, for goodness sake!”
“You’re not going to help me are you.” I asked.
“Not a chance, bro. I love you, but no, not a chance.”
---
4 years later, I had a call from an unknown number. The man on the other end of the phone had devastating news- news that would change my life forever.
Chanhee was on his way to a nearby food court with his friends for a lunch break after a whole morning of badminton practice when he suddenly had difficulty breathing and suffered asthma. By now it was after 1 pm and Chanhee was unconscious and on his way to the nearest hospital in an ambulance.
The voice on the other line, it was Kyungsoo’s by the way his tone was angry at me, but I couldn’t grasp the unexpected news and dropped my phone to the floor.
Just that morning my rank had been raised from Major to Leftenan Colonel and was offered to fly to USA. But to hell with it, without second thoughts I run out from my office, ignoring the calls my boss was calling and drove to the hospital like a mad man.
---
“Chanyeol, could I ask something?” Baekhyun suddenly ask as we were cuddling on the couch watching a movie together. I nodded, pausing it with the remote.
“We’ve been married for 2 years,” he hesitated, so I grabbed his arm and rubs soothing circles around it.
“Go on?”
“I was thinking,” he turned to look at me. “Let’s have a child?”
It was a totally unexpected question, but the glint in his eyes saying that he’s desperate to feel the love from a child, so I smiled, nodding my head.
“Of course we can.” I hugged him, and made love with him that night, completely ignoring the paused movie.
---
If you could turn back time, what would you change to make your life better?
Everyone had their own reasons, own opinions and own matter and sins they’d like to change. If only we were given that second chance in life, then life itself would be a total bliss. There would be no wars, no heartbreaks, no cries and tears and sadness. There’ll be nothing but peace, happiness and love everywhere.
But life had its own excuse to why time is what humans couldn’t control. To teach humans to be grateful for everything around them at that moment, to learn from every mistakes they did and be stronger than they were yesterday.
But with that one sentence, I felt like killing myself now and then.
“Your son has lung cancer.”
All the things I’ve done in life seemed like they were trash, seemed like it was just a waste of time.
If only I hadn’t start smoking at the age of 18, totally addicted to it. If only I didn’t ignore all the advice people around me gave about smoking. If only I stopped smoking when Baekhyun asked me to.
If only.
Author name: anonymous
Genre: Romance, angst, sliceoflife
Prompt: “Only need the light when its burning low, only miss the sun when it starts to snow
“Where the hell are you?” the urgent voice demanded on my mobile phone. “Goddamnit Park tell me where the hell are you?!” Recalling that moment still feels raw even now, several years later.
---
It was Saturday that Baekhyun and I argued whether or not I should go to the community group meetings I had scheduled in a town a few kilometres north of our home. Our youngest son, Chanhee, who was 6, was still resting in bed, having not quite recovered from fever. The meeting wasn’t that important, but I insisted on going.
“Our son is sick and you have the intention on going to some lousy meeting?” Baekhyun rubbed his temples, laying his back on the wall. “Seriously Chanyeol, I thought you could have at least a small thought about him.”
“It’s not just a meeting, ok, it’s an important one and I have to go. You know how it is.”
“I know, I know you’re one of the important member and you want to keep your records clean, but Chanyeol I have an important dinner with my bosses tonight! I can’t say I can’t go just because my son is sick, that’s not how they roll.”
“You always go the way they want it to be. Why can’t you for once in your goddamn life Baek, stand up for yourself and fucking rebel.” My voice went an octave higher; I couldn’t help but show my annoyance to Baekhyun. I was annoyed, his career annoyed me in ways I couldn’t explain. It was probably because Baekhyun was the type to follow every order his bosses gave, and wouldn’t even question it. It’s somewhat bothering for me to see.
I saw Baekhyun’s face changed, from displeased to anger, and that was when all hell break loose.
I couldn’t recall how long we argued, how loud our screams and shouting’s were, and the look of Chanhee’s face when we both stopped and watched him watching us fighting. But all I know it almost breaks my heart, until Baekhyun ushered him back into his room and shut the door.
He didn’t go to his dinner, neither did I.
---
Baekhyun loves to draw, he could draw portraits, sceneries, birds, animals, and houses…you name it. He was talented; it was a trait from his side of the family. He’d always take his brown sketch book from his drawer, a freshly sharped pencil and starts to draw anything on his mind could imagine. It was always soothing to watch him sitting there, his lips curves into a smile once in a while.
But I was too ignorant.
I never really cared if it was a hobby, or what he liked to do. I didn’t even care if my son Chanhee came running to him in small yet fast quick steps to help him draw, or doodle, a horse or an airplane. He was my husband, and what I wanted is what he needs to please.
“Baekhyun, make me a cup of coffee.”
I could see his face almost broke to devastation but he would quickly turn it into a blank face when he looks at me, saying ok then smiling as if he was happy to please whatever I wanted. I knew it was something he didn’t mind to do, but I didn’t care.
---
“Busan? That’s really far.”
“I know, but its work. And I can’t really say anything; it’s a part of the job, Baek.” I closed the suitcase and lock it, putting them next to the door for travel tomorrow and grabbed my towel to take a shower.
“I understand.”
---
I remembered meeting Baekhyun for the first time, looking all powerful sitting on a big table in his own room. He invited me to sit, and asked whether I’d like some tea or coffee. As usual I would ask for coffee and waited for him to make one.
I’ve been a coffee lover since forever, but the aroma coming from the coffee he made was different, somewhat it gave off a different feel and tingles to my body and I was excited to drink.
The first sip was magical; I haven’t had coffee made by a normal person this amazing and delicious. The moment it went down my throat, I looked at him and I knew I met the person I wanted to have as a husband.
Honestly, I am good looking. I wouldn’t even try to hide the fact that I’m also a terribly good persuader and socially attractive. My different hairstyle compared to the other people in the year 1994 caught eyes of many people, and that was why I had been into many relationships.
The amount was uncountable, I even brought them back home to meet my parents but I never really had any intention of marrying them. Yes, they were good lovers, great in bed and etc, but really, marriage wasn’t something they gave an aura of. They were, as what some people would call, flings.
But Byun Baekhyun, he was gorgeous. And had a really good career as a government lawyer, a good pay too. I didn’t care what and how, at that time I was really keen on making him as my husband. He, rawly rejected the offer.
“Sorry, I don’t date Air Forces, especially a crazy one like you.”
My parents found it weird that I was very passionate to marry Baekhyun, regularly asking me why and all the facts about my past relationships. I turned a deaf ear and ignore everyone because I had my own reasons.
He was gorgeous and had a good career. Plus, I was already 26 and needed to get married.
He accepted my proposal, and we got married 9 months later from my hard work of writing letters and going to and fro from Seoul and Mokpo just to have lunch or dinner together.
We never really had the time to know each other, I was busy, he was busy and that was probably why we never really get along well.
---
“Say hi to papa!” I saw Chanhee almost hitting his forehead to the screen to grab my face on my monitor. I laughed and smiled, waving to him.
“Papa! Why are you in the computer?” his innocent question made the both of us laugh, I intended to tease him.
“I’m trapped in the computer, Chanhee! Help me get out from here.”
“Oh no papa! I want to help! Daddy, help me get papa out from the computer!” Baekhyun laughs, proceed to play along with me. It was so wonderful to watch my family so happy, especially the fact that I had a wonderful, caring and hardworking husband that is terribly loyal to me and an adorable son who’ll soon grow up to be just as amazing as his daddy.
But it was I who made everything worse.
“Why is your room dirty?” asked Baekhyun after Chanhee went back to his room to play with his toys.
“Gosh, Baek, do you really have to even scold me from the computer?” I asked in annoyance. It was a habit of Baekhyun that loved cleaning and perfection that somehow got me irritated. He and I were total opposites; I was more care-free and didn’t mind my room smelled like cigars.
“Oh I’m sorry, is it wrong for me to actually care?”
“No, but it’s kinda annoying that you have to even point it out in skype.”
“I was just asking, its’ really dirty.”
“Do we have to go through this again, Baek? I’m really tired and I have work tomorrow.”
I heard Baekhyun sighed, and closed his eyes. “Fine, goodnight Yeol.” And the conversation ended.
---
“FUCK YOU PARK CHANYEOL!”
His screams, cries and whimpers pierced through my ears like an arrow shooting through an apple, all the profanities he threw was something I wouldn’t have imagined Baekhyun to even have in his mind. He hit me everywhere he could land his fist on; my arms, chest, and I knew he even tried to aim my face. It didn’t hurt, but the feeling of regret in my gut hurts me more than every hit he gave.
“After all these time, I have been extremely loyal to you to the level I could even be your fucking slave and you do this bullshit to me? What the fuck do you have to say, Chanyeol? You’re a fucking jerk!”
More cries, more hits, more pangs in my chest.
Baekhyun grabbed my phone and threw it to me. “I never cared if you always treat me badly, or that you control my life, or whatever the things your ego wants to be fed, but having to treat some other people the way you should have treated me is unacceptable! Chanyeol, you are married!”
“Fuck you, fuck your life and every other women and men you have ever had sex with.”
I took a deep breath, digesting every shouts and screams Baekhyun cried out. I didn’t dare to look up the head mirror to look at Chanhee sitting at the back. I started the engine and drove back to our house and Baekhyun ran our room and locking the door until the next day.
---
I wasn’t shocked when Baekhyun asked for a divorce the next day. I wasn’t surprised to see his favourite red luggage already by the door, and Chanhee’s next to it.
I couldn’t say anything by the time they both walk out from the door and with every cry I could hear from Chanhee, my heart dies.
---
The smile on Baekhyun’s face was all I need for me to walk into his office and hugged him. I could feel my uniform wet from his tears but I didn’t mind. We hugged for who knows how long as he chants every ‘thank you’s’ and ‘I love you’s’ he could give. I smiled, knowing I’m the luckiest man in the world.
“Happy Anniversary, Baek.”
---
It wasn’t really surprising when Kyungsoo threw a knife at me, aiming my head but missed by an inch and hit the wall behind me. Kai holds onto Kyungsoo like person trying to tame a lion from killing a prey, which was me. I knew it was a bad idea, and the knife clearly showed it was.
“I’ll fucking kill you, Park Chanyeol! I’m gonna smash your head like fucking mash potatoes and feed it to the pigs!”
13 minutes later, Kai locks him in his room.
“You had the balls to come here, Park, not that I’m surprised.” Kai throws himself on the couch, offering me some biscuits he could grab from the kitchen. “Biscuits? Kyungsoo made them yesterday. Hope you like bananas.”
“Thanks, but I’m just here to ask something.”
“About Baekhyun, is it?” Of course Kai knew what I wanted to ask, he knew me since high school. There wasn’t a tiny, little thing he wouldn’t know. He was like my long lost twin, a brother from another mother. “You know, I knew you’re such an ignorant brat, super egoistical and high headed but seriously, what you did to Baekhyun was stupid. Having phone sex, sexting and flings? I thought you’re done with that past life? You’re fucking married, for goodness sake!”
“You’re not going to help me are you.” I asked.
“Not a chance, bro. I love you, but no, not a chance.”
---
4 years later, I had a call from an unknown number. The man on the other end of the phone had devastating news- news that would change my life forever.
Chanhee was on his way to a nearby food court with his friends for a lunch break after a whole morning of badminton practice when he suddenly had difficulty breathing and suffered asthma. By now it was after 1 pm and Chanhee was unconscious and on his way to the nearest hospital in an ambulance.
The voice on the other line, it was Kyungsoo’s by the way his tone was angry at me, but I couldn’t grasp the unexpected news and dropped my phone to the floor.
Just that morning my rank had been raised from Major to Leftenan Colonel and was offered to fly to USA. But to hell with it, without second thoughts I run out from my office, ignoring the calls my boss was calling and drove to the hospital like a mad man.
---
“Chanyeol, could I ask something?” Baekhyun suddenly ask as we were cuddling on the couch watching a movie together. I nodded, pausing it with the remote.
“We’ve been married for 2 years,” he hesitated, so I grabbed his arm and rubs soothing circles around it.
“Go on?”
“I was thinking,” he turned to look at me. “Let’s have a child?”
It was a totally unexpected question, but the glint in his eyes saying that he’s desperate to feel the love from a child, so I smiled, nodding my head.
“Of course we can.” I hugged him, and made love with him that night, completely ignoring the paused movie.
---
If you could turn back time, what would you change to make your life better?
Everyone had their own reasons, own opinions and own matter and sins they’d like to change. If only we were given that second chance in life, then life itself would be a total bliss. There would be no wars, no heartbreaks, no cries and tears and sadness. There’ll be nothing but peace, happiness and love everywhere.
But life had its own excuse to why time is what humans couldn’t control. To teach humans to be grateful for everything around them at that moment, to learn from every mistakes they did and be stronger than they were yesterday.
But with that one sentence, I felt like killing myself now and then.
“Your son has lung cancer.”
All the things I’ve done in life seemed like they were trash, seemed like it was just a waste of time.
If only I hadn’t start smoking at the age of 18, totally addicted to it. If only I didn’t ignore all the advice people around me gave about smoking. If only I stopped smoking when Baekhyun asked me to.
If only.