[entry 19] winter cafe [2/2]
Baekhyun opened his eyes and what greeted his vision were white walls, white curtains, white sheets and white beds. The color made him dizzy and it felt somewhat dull and boring. He realized that he was in a hospital. An unexplainable churning feeling rested in his stomach. Even before, he had always hated the hospital because of its dullness. Like, how was it possible for someone to be healed inside this boring place?
For the past year, he didn't quite really expect that he'd be back in that dungeon, except for some monthly check-ups. But there he was, lying in that stinky bed, tubes connected in almost every part of his body. There wasn't any physical pain. Only something emotional. The painful thoughts of Sehun. And then, Chanyeol.
A heavy feeling on his palms made him turn his head to the side and there he saw his own giant, soundly asleep, dressed in a black furry parka and long brown fringes hanging on his face, covering his eyes.
Baekhyun smiled. To him, Chanyeol was like a colorful rainbow after the storm in his life had passed. It worked like that for the past year and Baekhyun couldn't be any more thankful for the colors Chanyeol had brought into his life. But now, the storm was back again and Baekhyun wondered why the rainbow was still there when it should have walked away.
Once, Sehun was the only one who made Baekhyun's world lovely, but now he's got Chanyeol too. He was happy. In fact, there was nothing else he could ever wish for.
But that happiness was replaced by dread when Chanyeol stirred and opened his eyes, bloodshot and puffy from crying. Baekhyun realized that the doctor must've told Chanyeol the truth. That he's dying. That there was no hope. Baekhyun knew it all along; his time limit. But he begged Dr. Onew not to tell Sehun, yet. But after what happened, he was quite sure that his boys were aware of the fact that he had only little time left.
Baekhyun expected his giant to yell at him, get angry because he lied, and maybe walk out just like what Kris did, but instead, Chanyeol stood up and wrapped him inside a warm, tight, embrace, and apologized, "I'm sorry Baek, I didn't know."
Baekhyun was baffled. This was out of his imagination. From the moment he opened his eyes, he had prepared himself to say goodbye to Chanyeol just like what he always did with his other relationships before. But no, Chanyeol was still there.
He hugged Chanyeol back, “I should be the one who’s saying sorry. Not you.”
Trying his best to fight back the tears on the verge of falling out of his eyes, Baekhyun buried his face against the giant’s chest. He couldn’t figure out if he was still dreaming or if Chanyeol was really there. “I’m sorry for keeping everything from you, Chan. I just…” he let out a shuddery breath, “I just didn’t want you to suffer with me. You don’t deserve that.” A tear fell. Then, another. In a matter of seconds, Baekhyun couldn’t do anything to stop the flood of emotions running out of his eyes.
The younger male kissed Baekhyun’s forehead, “If I get to spend more time with you, then that’s not suffering. I love you so much and I will never leave, Baek. How many times do I need tell you that?”
The smaller guy sobbed against Chanyeol’s chest. “I love you, Chanyeol,” He sniffs, “I’m sorry for dragging you into this. You deserve a happy life but look what I gave you.”
“Baekhyun, don’t say that.” Chanyeol laid him down on the pillow. “I promised I will stay with you forever. I promised you this, didn’t I?” Then the younger tucks him inside the blankets before taking off his own shoes and joining Baekhyun on the bed. Chanyeol snuggled closer and made Baekhyun's head rest on his arms. Then he leaned and placed a peck on Baekhyun’s lips,
“From here on, it’s going to be our journey. You have me, so don’t be afraid okay?”
Baekhyun nodded.
“Get some rest now, Sehun will be here tomorrow.”
Baekhyun closed his eyes, feeling safe and secured because he knew that tomorrow, Chanyeol will be there beside him, fighting with him.
--
Sehun zipped his backpack close before standing up and proceeding out of the room he'd stayed upon the night before. He needed to be back in Seoul and check on his older brother. The pain in his chest was still there and seriously, it's eating him up. When the doctor told him they only had a month left to spend with Baekhyun, he was crushed like no other. He was broken into a million pieces and there was probably no other way to mend him. The suffering inside him was twice as much as the first time he learned about Baekhyun's condition.
He felt like his life's purpose was coming to an end. What's the use of living when you have nothing to live for? He'd always dedicated his life for Baekhyun, and now... This. It's just too much for him to handle. He wanted out. He needed to be out but how? That'd be a very selfish decision and even though Baekhyun had Chanyeol, it's still wrong to leave his brother behind.
Clearing up his mind seemed to be impossible. So, there he was, packing his bag, taking the first train back to Seoul.
Back to where he belonged.
Back to face that horrifyingly true monster resting inside Baekhyun.
Back to the truth.
---
The first rays of sunshine pierced through the white curtains of Baekhyun's hospital room and illuminated it with a bright shade of yellow. The pretty brunette was fast asleep as Sehun struggles to slip himself through the door, careful not to make any noise and wake his brother up. Sehun trudged towards the bed. He had asked Chanyeol to go home and get some rest while he took on the duty of taking care of Baekhyun for the day. He couldn't push Chanyeol away now because he needed another hand to hold. Besides, it wouldn't hurt that much to share the burden he's got.
He stared at Baekhyun's sleeping face. It was peaceful and the said male was even smiling. Sehun couldn't help but let his tears fall at the sight of his brother being tortured by numerous IV drips connected to his body. The guy looked so small and fragile and the tubes that were all over him didn't help but make Sehun feel pity.
Baekhyun didn't deserve this.
His tears fell silently and he sat on Baekhyun's bedside, slowly caressing the brunette's face. His older brother had always been kind to him despite the fact that he was a son from another family. Baekhyun had told him it wasn't his fault that their father was a little promiscuous. Baekhyun was always smiling in Sehun's memory and what he was seeing at the moment just ripped his heart out.
Baekhyun was an angel.
Angel's don't deteriorate like this. Sehun mused, looking at Baekhyun's pale skin and bony cheeks.
The tears from his eyes fell like rain and he bit his lip to avoid the sounds inside his throat from coming out of his mouth.
"Oh Sehun. Why are you crying like I'm already dead?" Baekhyun's voice rang through Sehun's ears and his bony fingers wrapped around the younger's lean ones. "Save your tears for when I'm already in ashes." He tried to sound funny but it didn't help.
Sehun opened his mouth and let his sobs out. "Hyung~" Then he slumped lightly on Baekhyun's chest. "Don't say that. Please."
Baekhyun chuckled. "Pabo. That's where we're all going. I might just go earlier than you."
Sehun wailed like a child left alone in an isolated place. "Hyung~" He shook his head violently, tears staining his cheeks. "You promised me. You'll get well. Hyung~"
The older male caressed his brother's hair, "Ya, stop crying."
Sehun's felt like his heart was being powdered into tiny pieces ruthlessly. He wanted to throw a fit, to curse the world, to curse God who didn't seem to care about him or his brother. "No!!! I won't!!! This is unfair!!! You won't leave me here alone." Sehun's arms were wrapped around Baekhyun's shoulders tightly. "Hyung! Promise me."
Baekhyun sighed. "Sehun, listen to me."
The younger male shook his head again and buried his face on Baekhyun's chest. "Promise me hyung!!! You told me you'll get well!! Tell me, the doctors were only lying, right? You'll get well hyung." Sehun wailed again.
Feeling helpless, Baekhyun tried to feign some fierceness in his appearance. He lifted Sehun's face by his chin and raised his voice, "Oh Sehun! I told you to listen!"
It was one of the very, very few moments that Baekhyun raised his voice towards Sehun, and as usual, it did the trick. Sehun looked up at him with sad, tired, and bloodshot, red-rimmed eyes.
Baekhyun cleared his throat before speaking, "We both know where this is going to end, Sehun. From the very beginning we knew the answers to our questions but we both shrugged it off, hoping for some miracle, which basically didn't happen at all." He lifted himself and sat upright, pushing Sehun lightly so that they were face to face. "So now, I only want to ask you one thing. Please spend my remaining days with a smile. I know it's hard, Sehun, but we need to try." Baekhyun bit his lower lip and smiled sadly. "I only want to bring happy memories with me, and it wouldn't help at all if you cry everytime you see me." He looked his baby brother in the eye. "I love you, Sehun."
Sehun's tears fell like rain that day but he couldn't do anything about it. Baekhyun was already saying goodbye and was asking him to do something impossible. He wanted to say no, that they had to fight, that they still had the chance to win, but he knew it'll be a lie so he conceded. If that's what Baekhyun wanted, then so be it.
Even if it hurts to smile, he would.
---
It was natural that Baekhyun's condition worsened as the days passed by. Some days, Chanyeol would sit by his bedside, sing him a lullaby, and they would laugh. He would tease Chanyeol about how the giant sounded like a dying whale as he tried to hit the higher notes Baekhyun used to sing. Some days, Chanyeol would lie down beside him and whisper sweet nothings through his hair, cuddle him next to the taller male's chest and tell him stories, the vibrations would always be effective to make him sleep. Some days, Chanyeol would come in with all of his coloring materials and doodle the words, 'I love you', 'You are mine', and all other cheesy words Baekhyun could think about while he stay seated on the bed, watching the giant busy himself with the pens and the sketchpad.
As the days passed by, Baekhyun got weaker but none of them talked about it.
Luhan and Jongin would always come by after their shifts, bringing over fruits, which Baekhyun wasn't ever allowed to eat, and flowers. One time, Luhan cried and Jongin scolded the older male for doing so because it might stress Baekhyun out. The older Chinese calmed down and forced a smile. An apology came out of his lips, saying he was just a bit emotional because Jongin had to dance with a girl at school.
Baekhyun was grateful for the care Chanyeol's friends had given him. He wanted everyone to remember him as someone happy who was always smiling. Though it was hard, he wanted everyone to remember him trying.
Chemotherapy was inevitable and sadly, after his second session, his hair was starting to loosen at the roots. The sight was sad and sometimes, he would see Chanyeol's eyes brimming with
tears but when he asked, Chanyeol would deny it, telling him some made up lies like yawning or eating something spicy.
It wasn't long until every single strand of his hair was off his head and he had to wear a turban over it. Chanyeol cried at the sight of it. Sehun did too. But Baekhyun only laughed, saying that he looked like a genie now and that Sehun and Chanyeol could tell him their wishes. Sehun, being the child he was, took the joke seriously and hugged Baekhyun, blurting out a loud and shaky, "I wish you would heal yourself hyung", which made Chanyeol sob harder and moved Baekhyun to tears too.
There was no stopping it.
3 weeks later, Baekhyun was almost too weak to even open his eyes so he stayed on the bed for most of the time. He started to grow rashes on his back but he still smiled whenever Chanyeol came to him and ask him how he's feeling.
It was winter again, and he saw the first snowfall from his window, with Chanyeol sleeping soundly beside him.
---
Three days into Baekhyun's fourth week in the hospital, Chanyeol came up with the most amazing idea. Though it hurt him so much to admit, he knew that time is running out.
The weather was harsh that day and people were pouring inside the coffee shop, making Chanyeol and his team, Luhan and Jongin (because Sehun was at the hospital) very, very busy. It wasn't until 12 midnight that they decided to close up shop.
He wanted to put his plan into action immediately because he didn't have forever - a fact that slices through his heart every time. They were done cleaning the shop when his two helpers sat down with him on a table, sipping their coffee, snuggling close to each other for additional warmth.
“So, what is it that you want to talk about hyung?” Jongin broke the silence, hooking his left arm around Luhan’s right.
Chanyeol looked around the coffee shop, as if picturing something inside his head. “Do you think we can do a wedding in here?”
Luhan’s eyes widen at Chanyeol’s words and so did Jongin’s. They didn’t expect Chanyeol to do this knowing that Baekhyun was leaving soon. Being the emotional guy that he was, Luhan’s eyes started to well with tears. He’d been with Chanyeol since the beginning of the café and he had treated him like a real brother. This kind of gesture just pierced through Luhan’s heart.
There was a long silence between the three of them as Chanyeol’s eyes continued to scan the room.
“A- are you… are you sure, Chan?” Luhan was not sure if it’s the right thing to ask but he did.
Chanyeol nodded rapidly, like an eager child, biting on his lower lip, “Yes, hyung. I want to marry him.”
The tears fell from Luhan’s eyes because he knew what's in store for Chanyeol in the near future and it wasn’t a secret to the younger boy too, but the measures he was willing to take was amazing.
Luhan was touched by the love Chanyeol had for Baekhyun. Jongin was silent as he wrapped an arm around Luhan’s shoulder. The oldest among the three sniffed and nodded his head. “Just tell us what you need; we will be more than willing to help.” He said.
Chanyeol smiled widely, although it never did reach his eyes. It never did anymore. The sparkles they used to have had already been worn out because of continuous crying behind Baekhyun’s back and the stress of not getting some sleep thinking that it’s a waste of time. Chanyeol rubbed his eyes and started to lay down his plans of proposing and immediately proceeding to the wedding the day after tomorrow.
He asked Jongin to perfume the place with Baekhyun’s favorite scent since coffee aroma made his stomach upset. Then he went out to his car and pulled out a small briefcase.
When he poured the contents of the bag onto the table, Luhan is baffled, because out came all of Chanyeol’s doodle artworks for Baekhyun and all of their photos.
Luhan was tasked to plaster the drawings on the wall and the number of it were probably enough to fill the whole place with words like, “I love you”, “Hello”, “You are my dwarf, I’m your giant.” And other silly things he had written for Baekhyun.
After they made sure everything was planned out properly, Chanyeol sent the two boys home before proceeding to the hospital and told Sehun of the plan.
---
Chanyeol poked his head through the door and he saw Baekhyun sleeping soundly while a distressed Sehun was looking out the window and into the blinking lights of the city. He pushed the door slowly and walked towards Sehun’s stiff figure. Tapping the boy’s shoulder, Chanyeol asked Sehun if they could talk outside.
“Sehun-ah,” Chanyeol begun. He rubbed his temples with his right palm and leaned against the door frame, facing Sehun who was slumped down on the opposite side of the hospital’s hallway, across Chanyeol. “I’m marrying Baekhyun.”
Sehun lifted his eyes and the black circles underneath them seemed to grow wider by the day. For a moment, he just stared at the older male’s huge frame. He opened his mouth to speak but there were no words.
“I promised him before. I need your blessing, Sehun.” Chanyeol’s voice was hoarse and shaky.
Sehun didn’t want to stop Chanyeol from doing what he wanted but he also didn’t want Chanyeol to tie himself onto Baekhyun forever. Everyone knew that Baekhyun was dying. What was the point in marrying? A part of Sehun wanted to scream and punch Chanyeol’s face for being stupid and for throwing his life away but a bigger part of his heart shouts that this could make Baekhyun happy and he’d gamble anything for that.
Anything.
Even his life.
Everytime he saw Chanyeol’s wearied face, he wishes to take Baekhyun’s spot so his hyung could live a happy and healthy life with Chanyeol.
He stared into space and his breathing was slow as if he was tired of it. Actually he was, he was really, really, tired.
“Hyung… You… You can’t throw your life like this.” Sehun ran both of his hand through his hair. Tears started to form inside his eyes again. It was really ironic how he badly wanted to stop crying but his eyes won't stop pouring out of his eyes.
“Sehun, I’m not throwing away my life.” Chanyeol understood where the younger male was coming from. “I’m living it while I can. Because the day Baekhyun leaves me here, I’d be a walking dead.” He chuckled sadly. “I’m living it while I still have my reason here with me.”
Sehun sniffed. “Okay. Do what you think is best hyung.” He stood up and wrapped his arms around Chanyeol’s body. “I only want him to be happy.”
Chanyeol smiled. “I told you before… We’re on the same side.”
--
Baekhyun woke up to the sound of guitar strumming beside his bed. He slowly opened his eyes before blinking and saw Chanyeol’s face beaming brightly at him. As usual, his heart raced inside his chest.
“Good morning sunshine!” The giant greeted him and kissed his pale and dry lips.
Baekhyun’s heart swelled. Chanyeol still treated him like a precious gem despite his lackluster appearance. He thought to himself, most people would only fall for what they see outside but his giant was different. He knew Chanyeol loved him to the core of his existence. He silently wished to have more time with his love but that would be too much to ask.
Lifting his arms weakly, he caressed the taller man’s face. He opened his mouth to speak but his throat was very dry that he only let out a choked voice, and smiled sadly.
“I have a surprise for you. But you need to drink this first.” His boyfriend said as he handed him a small pill which was a painkiller and brought a glass of water to his mouth. Chanyeol was smiling but it was a smile that was only on the lips. He wouldn’t ask for more though because he knew how hard everything was for Chanyeol.
The water seemed to relax his constricting esophagus a bit and he was able to mutter a soft, “Thank you”. Clearing the lump inside his throat, he mouthed to Chanyeol, “what is it?”
Chanyeol kissed his lips again before sitting on Baekhyun’s bedside and placing the guitar on his lap. These morning lullabies had always been one of his favorite highlight of the day. Even before when Chanyeol didn’t know about his sickness yet. Even if Chanyeol’s singing voice was honestly funny, but to Baekhyun it was the most beautiful sound he’s ever heard.
The chords started to play a beautiful melody that soothed Baekhyun’s pain - emotionally and physically. He closed his eyes and leaned on the bed’s headrest.
You are the one, who makes me happy when everything else turns to gray.
Yours is the voice that wakes me morning and sends me out into the day.
This song is something that he should sing for Chanyeol but it’ll be pointless. He had long lost his beautiful voice. What was once a beautiful and smooth melody had now become croaky and hoarse. So instead of interrupting, he continued to listen.
You are the crowd that sits quiet, listening to me and all the mad sense I make.
You are one of the few things, worth remembering.
And since it’s all true, how could anyone mean more to me than you?
It was ironic how Chanyeol was singing the song that Baekhyun wants to sing to him so badly before.
“Did you like it?” Chanyeol asked.
Baekhyun opened his eyes and realized that they were wet with tears. He nodded to Chanyeol slowly, “I love it. I love you.” The he threw his arms around Chanyeol’s neck. His movements were slow and calculated because every part of his body just seemed to hurt. “Thank you, Chan.”
Chanyeol placed his guitar on the foot of the bed and hugged Baekhyun back, “That wasn’t my surprise though.” He pulled away a little and looked Baekhyun in the eye before placing a peck on the older’s lips. “I love you, Baek.”
They stay in each other’s arms for a moment before Chanyeol stood up and lifted a set of warm winter clothes from the sofa. Baekhyun’s eyes went wide upon realizing that Chanyeol was going to take him out. He shifted his weight in the bed and looked outside the window. Seoul was covered in thick, white snow but the sun was up in the sky, trying to melt the ice that accumulated against the soils of the earth.
“But, Dr. Onew won’t approve of this Chanyeol.” He said to the overly-eager looking boy on his bedside.
Chanyeol’s eyes rolled and he handed him a piece of paper. It was a pass. “I took care of everything, okay?” The younger male said before chuckling and started to pull on the hem of Baekhyun’s shirt.
Baekhyun realized he didn’t have any other option but to obey Chanyeol. It’ll be good for them to spend time outside too so that the hospital walls wouldn’t linger inside the giant’s memory wh.
It took them a good 15 minutes before Chanyeol was able to finish dressing Baekhyun up. He pulled a bright yellow beanie from his bag and place it on Baekhyun’s head. “There, so that the sun will reflect your brightness.” He said, chuckling.
Then he walked out of the room to fetch a wheelchair. He smiled at Baekhyun encouragingly when the smaller guy hesitated to get in. He wheeled Baekhyun out of the room and he was greeted by the nurses, who were rounding the other patients, like a child.
“Oh! Guess who’s going out today?” An elderly nurse with a pudgy built named Shinyoung smiled at Baekhyun. She was like an older sister to Baekhyun because she had taken care of him ever since they first found out about his condition. “Have fun Baekhyunnie, okay?” she added before proceeding to walk towards the end of the hallway.
Baekhyun smiled.
And for the first time in a long time, his heart was lighter.
--
The first place Chanyeol brought Baekhyun to, was the park. There weren’t lots of people around since the wind was chilly. He wheeled Baekhyun towards the fountain. “You used to pick up coins from here.” He said as if helping Baekhyun remember something he couldn’t.
The smaller male smiled, “Chanyeol, I don’t have amnesia.”
Chanyeol chuckled. “Shh. Let’s just try to reminisce everything. I want to remember them.” He said. Then, he pointed at the tall angel statue standing in the middle of the frozen fountain. “You took a coin from his feet which had the park guards running after us. It was really funny.”
Baekhyun nodded, “Yeah. I was still out of breath when you pulled me against a tree to hide but
then you ended up kissing me. You were cruel.” He laughed.
“I know. I know. But I didn’t regret stealing your breath away again, you know.” Chanyeol answered. The memories were painful but he needed something to hold on to. At least, if Baekhyun goes away one day, he’ll have something to remember by. Something to tell him that they tried, that they fought with everything they have. And something to tell him that once upon a time, he fell in love. And he will never fall out of it. Not ever.
Then Chanyeol continued to push Baekhyun through the park. They talked about the entire crazy things they used to do. The things Baekhyun missed the most and the things he wanted to do with his remaining time.
“I just want to kiss you every day.” Baekhyun said when Chanyeol asked him what his wish would be.
The younger male stopped pushing him and when in front of him. Chanyeol knelt and cupped Baekhyun’s face and placed a long, deep kiss against Baekhyun’s lips. “We will do that.” He didn’t want to cry in front of Baekhyun but his tears were traitors. He stood up and went back to pushing Baekhyun’s wheelchair against the pavement again, tilting his head upwards so his tears will stop falling.
He continued to blabber about how the world was sad because Baekhyun was sick and that the sun who was out today was a good omen for them. So, it was a good choice that they were out because the world seemed to be happy to see Baekhyun again.
The brunette just smiled at Chanyeol’s stories. He was starting to get sleepy because of the painkillers he took but he tried his best not to fall asleep.
As they were nearing a small white bridge, Baekhyun saw a group of people. He recognized some of them as his classmates from University. A small boy, Kyungsoo, as he remembered, waved at them. He was holding a bunch of balloons.
When Chanyeol steered him towards the bridge, the people moved into a formation and made a straight line on one side of the bridge. Baekhyun scrunched his forehead in confusion.
Chanyeol pushed him through and as they pass a person, a white sheet of paper was held up. The first person held a placard that said, “Hi Baekhyun!”
Then the next, “My name is Park Chanyeol.”
“I fell in love with you at first sight.”
“You were my first love, too.”
“And now, I want to make you my last.”
“Will…”
“You…” A tear fell from his eyes.
“Marry me?”
Kyungsoo was the last person on the line and he held a placard that said, “I promised you FOREVER, didn’t I?” Then, Kyungsoo held out a small box towards Chanyeol which the giant accepted with a big smile.
Baekhyun’s tears were now like waterfalls that streamed down his cheeks.
“So? What do you say?” Chanyeol was now kneeling in front of Baekhyun again, holding the strings of the balloons. “Aish~ you cry baby.” He teased Baekhyun as if his tears weren’t threatening to fall out of his eyes too. Then he wiped Baekhyun’s tears away with his thumb.
“But… Chanyeol…” Baekhyun stuttered. “I… I-m- “
“Shhh…” Chanyeol interrupted. “I know you’re scared to marry me but didn’t I tell you before, Baek, I’m going to prove you that love lasts forever. I’m going to prove to you that forever exist.” The tears inside Chanyeol’s tired eyes started falling. “Even if you leave me behind, the promise we’re going to make on our wedding day will be enough for me to prove you that you will be the only one I’ll love until the day I die.”
Baekhyun sobbed and wrapped his arms around Chanyeol’s neck, not able to say a word because his heart felt like it was going to burst.
“I’m still hopeful, Baekhyun. Even if the world has given up on us, I still believe in miracles. I will never let you go.” Chanyeol tightened his arms around Baekhyun’s waist. “So please say yes.”
Baekhyun nodded.
---
As what Chanyeol planned, the wedding took place the next day. On the café. There weren’t a lot of people around. Only a teary Sehun, a sobbing Luhan, and a young Jongin, who was comforting his boyfriend. Then there’s Chanyeol wearing a sleek black suit with a white dress shirt that contrasted with Baekhyun’s all-white piece.
Luhan, Jongin, and Sehun had spent all night rearranging the place so that it’ll look like a small chapel. Baekhyun and Chanyeol’s pictures were scattered on the wall along with the giant’s doodle artworks for Baekhyun. There was a red carpet that stretched across the floor of the café. Baekhyun smiled at Chanyeol who was positioned at the end of the aisle as he walked ceremoniously towards him, clasping onto Sehun’s arms for support.
There was nothing that could compare to the joy Chanyeol felt inside his heart as he looked at Baekhyun’s smile. Finally. Their forever and after.
“Take care of him, hyung.” Sehun said as he handed Baekhyun over to Chanyeol.
“You know I will.” Chanyeol replied.
Luhan acted as the MC. His words slurred because of his tears but the couple just laughed at him. It was normal for Luhan. Ever since he knew about Baekhyun’s time limit, he just cries at the sight or even at the mere mention of Baekhyun.
“You may…” a sniff. “Say your vows now. And. Oh yes. The rings too.”
Everyone chuckled and it seemed to lighten up the mood.
Chanyeol went to recite his promise of love to Baekhyun first.
“Byun Baekhyun, take this ring, as a sign of my never ending love for you and a sign of the promise I long to fulfill for you. The challenges we are facing right now are all but a part of life. I promise to stay true to my words. My heart will always be with you. Words will never be able to describe how much I truly love you. Forever, we will be together. In soul and mind. I love you so much.”
Baekhyun’s eyes were brimming with tears and his voice was hushed as he tried his best to whisper his promises to Chanyeol.
“Park Chanyeol, take this ring as a sign of my never-ending love for you. This world might be against us and fate might not be on our side but it doesn’t matter, Chan. You and I belong together and there’s no stopping that. If ever I must leave soon, don’t take it as me leaving you. We will meet again soon. Our parting will only be temporary. If ever you’re sad, think of me smiling at you. I love you so much.”
Chanyeol kissed Baekhyun even before Luhan gave him the signal. His heart was sad but at least now, he could rest. He had fulfilled one of his many promises and that’s all he needed. That and Baekhyun.
They celebrated for a bit before Chanyeol brought his husband back to the hospital.
---
One night, a week after their wedding, Chanyeol laid down beside Baekhyun on the hospital bed. His husband’s condition still wasn’t becoming any better. And it probably never will. He knew what was coming next but still, it was hard. And painful. And he didn’t accept the truth. Baekhyun was snuggled next to his chest as he hummed a sweet lullaby.
“Chan?” Baekhyun called out to him in a whisper.
“Hmm...?” Chanyeol answered.
“You know I love you right?”
“Yes. I love you too, okay?”
Baekhyun nodded rapidly. “I will remember that.”
They both drifted to sleep and the next thing Chanyeol knew, nurses were all over them, waking him up, and attaching tubes to Baekhyun's body to try and save his life.
He was still groggy. His eyes were tearing up as he looked at the busy nurses. They tried to pump Baekhyun chest to get him to breathe again and Chanyeol felt a pang of pain inside his chest. The boy on the bed remained rigid despite the forceful pumps the nurses were giving him. Chanyeol seemed to feel every single hit on Baekhyun’s body and he feels sad for his husband. Sad because it was all over. Sad because he knew Baekhyun was tired.
“Stop!” He yelled. “Let him go.”
The nurses were stunned and Dr. Onew entered the room, panicking.
“Doctor,” Chanyeol faced the frantic doctor. “Let’s just… let him rest.”
Dr. Onew was more than shocked by what Chanyeol said. His face turned pale as he looked at Chanyeol with confusion.
“He’s tired… I don’t want to see him suffer any longer… There’s no point anymore.” Chanyeol slumped on the floor and buried his face in between his knees. He wailed loudly like a child who lost his mother. Dr. Onew patted his shoulders. It was true. There’s no point in trying to make Baekhyun breathe again when he was incurable. The Dr. understood how much it hurt so he signaled the nurses to go out with him.
After a few moments, Chanyeol stood up and marched towards the bed with a blank stare. Baekhyun’s face was peaceful. He brushed away a few fringes out of Baekhyun’s eyes and couldn’t stop his tears from falling. He bit his lower lip. He shouldn’t cry because he had already prepared himself for the worst.
But no.
Even if he knew it’ll all eventually end like that, nothing will ever prepare him for this.
For saying goodbye to the only person he loved.
He held Baekhyun in his arms for the last time and let all of his tears out. “Baekhyun…”
His chest felt stuffy. “Baekhyun, I love you.”
Just like that, Baekhyun left him.
No goodbyes.
Just, “I love you.”
---
When the news reached Sehun, he broke out and threw a fit. Baekhyun’s gone; the day he’d always dreaded had finally come. He ran to the hospital without even bothering to wear his jacket or his shoes.
He ran as fast as he could but still he was too late.
There was nothing left to do.
Nothing more but cry.
---
They buried Baekhyun on the hill where his parents’ bodies lay.
The clouds were gray and gloomy, snow falling upon their crying figures. The world was sad about letting Baekhyun go and it probably will be sad forever.
But there was nothing more miserable than Chanyeol and Sehun’s hearts.
Moving on was out of the question, at least as of the moment.
Hopefully, soon.
---
Baekhyun woke up with the sun on his face the morning after his first night together with Chanyeol. He was more than happy to wake up because now, his life had more meaning, had a new reason to fight, to live, to smile, and to love. The giant beside him was all he needed for him to move and gather all his strength to look life straight in the eyes and kick its ass.
He looked at the sleeping figure beside him. The peace on the giant's face was imminent; he was even smirking in his sleep. The sun was bathing Chanyeol's face in warm colors of Yellow, turning his hair into a light shade of brown.
Baekhyun leaned in and gave his boyfriend a peck on the nose. Then, he raised Chanyeol's hand and traced its silhouette against the bright ball of light piercing through their windows.
Chanyeol's hand was big compared to Baekhyun's small one. Chanyeol's fingers were pudgy while Baekhyun had slender ones. It was the complete opposite and it made Baekhyun wonder just how or why they fit perfectly.
The giant stirred in his sleep then unconsciously pulled Baekhyun's body closer to his chest and kissed the brunette's forehead. Baekhyun smiled.
The smaller guy reached out and wrapped his arms around Chanyeol's waist. His movement must've woke his boyfriend up because after a couple of seconds, the said male spoke. "Why are you up so early?"
Baekhyun lifted his face and saw that Chanyeol's eyes were still closed. "Nothing. I can't go back to sleep no matter how I try."
"Too exhausted to even sleep? How is that possible?" The taller male's deep voice vibrated across the room as he laughed.
"No, more like, too happy to even sleep." Baekhyun wrapped his arms around Chanyeol tighter, leaving no gap between their bodies.
They stayed silent for a moment, comfortable in each other's skin, when Baekhyun asked, "Chanyeol, is it possible to love someone forever?"
Without any hesitation, Chanyeol replied, "Of course." Then he lifted Baekhyun's face so he could see his eyes, "Do you want me to prove that to you?"
Baekhyun nodded. He never believed in happily everafters but Chanyeol made it very easy to be hopeful.
"What if one day I have to leave?"
"Then I will look for you. I will find you and make sure you realize you can't get away from me again."
"What if one day I'll stop loving you?"
"Then I will do my best to make sure you fall for me again."
"What if one day, I'll die?"
"Baek," Chanyeol was surprised by the question. It never entered his mind before. "What kind of question is that?"
"You know." Baekhyun answered. "We're not going to live forever so how can that be possible?"
"If you die first," The giant sighed. "I don't think I can take it. So I guess I'll follow you into the abyss of death. Hold your hand and walk with you so you won't get scared."
"No, Chanyeol... You can't follow after me." The brunette buried his face in the crook of Chanyeol's neck. "Promise me you won't do that. Please."
"We'll be old by then, Baek. Our lives wouldn't matter that much. Only our love."
"Who knows? Just. Promise me you will live your life until the end. Not take it away so you can follow me, okay?" Baekhyun's tears fell.
Chanyeol felt Baekhyun's tears against his skin, "Hey, don't cry. It's our first night together yet you're crying already."
"Just promise me, you won't do that!"
"Okay, okay. I promise."
Baekhyun's sobs subsided after a while. "I think it's a good weather for a date. The sun is out today."
It was winter but the sun was shining - a good sign for their starting relationship.
Baekhyun kissed Chanyeol's neck and whispered against his skin, "Let's try forever, Chan. Okay?"
"Yes. We'll try. I love you, Baek."
"I love you too, Chan."
-fin-