My tremontstshul sendoff
This past Shabbat morning, August 6th, tremontstshul had a farewell kiddush in my honor.
I got to stand up and say a few words (it was Parshat Dvarim, get it??) -- although I wasn't sure if I felt more like the Israelites about to cross the Jordan (which, as I pointed out, in Italian is il Giordano), or like Moshe admonishing the Israelites by way of a historical overview of their sojourn. But it seemed to go okay.
And there was lox, and real whitefish (lovingly deboned by B"H Model), and black-and-whites.
There were also a couple of nice tribute parodies offered, which I found so delightful that I wanted to record them here for posterity and share with you all. One was written by father-of-hilaritea to the tune of the Major General's song from The Pirates of Penzance:
Erica:
I am the very model of egalitarian orthodox
I keep my linen shirts in drawers far away from woolen socks
I know the genealogy and quote by heart the wanderings
Of patriarchs and matriarchs through Canaan’s many wells and springs
I’m very well acquainted too with matters theological
I understand the offerings of grain and fruit and lamb and fowl
About the rules of Kashrut I am teeming with a lot of news
With many cheerful facts about organic foods that you can use
Chorus:
With many cheerful facts about organic foods that you can use... (x3)
Erica:
I ‘m very good at Shacharit, Mussaf and Mincha-Maariv
I know the kosher restaurants from Cambridge, Mass., to Tel Aviv
I know the trope for Aicha, Ruth, and Esther and the Song of Songs
Except for Pazer, which no-body ever knows when I get wrong
I know what Martin Buber meant by “I and thou” and “I and it”
And why Freud disliked Moses (it’s because he thought his mother did)
Although my other interests may make it seem a paradox
I am the very model of egalitarian orthodox
Chorus:
She is the very model of egalitarian orthodox! (x3)
Edited To Add, since someone asked: In fact, no, I don't consider myself Orthodox by any stretch. We noted that privately at the time of the dramatic reading. (But it does rhyme so beautifully with "paradox".)
The other was written by la-vie-en-rosie and her spouse, RLS formerly of the Menschen, in the vein of Eishet Chayil (A Woman of Valor), which is a passage from Proverbs traditionally sung on Friday nights to the woman of the household:
אשת חייל מי ימצא-
A woman of valor who can find?
For her worth is far above membership dues.
The board of trustees shall trust in her,
for she is trusty.
She does only good and no harm, all the days of her life.
She installs Adobe Illustrator, and produces works of art.
She is like the merchant ships:
From Brookline, she bringeth kosher pizza.
She sets up before the barbecue and gives food to the walk-ins,
and discounts to paid-up members.
She makes a minyan and leads it;
she brings us together on Friday nights.
She sends out Ausblick in dead of night;
With the fruit of Sukkot, she makes etrog vodka.
The yad she extends to the Torah,
and she does not drop the scroll during hagbah.
She trundles to shacharit through snow,
and all her winter clothes are colorful.
Purim costumes she makes herself,
vinyl and fishnets are her 80s-dance garb.
She plans fun events by the dozens, for 20s and 30s and NExT.
Her mouth she opens in song, and she leads us all in zemirot. (and sea shanties!)
She oversees communal shabbat dinners,
and always holds the whipped cream at a perfect 90° angle,
and never lets propellant escape.
Her awesomeness is known at the gates
of all the synagogues of Boston.
The community thrives and is made happy;
all members praise her:
Many TBSers have excelled, but you surpass them all!
Time is fleeting; soon she will leave us --
so now at this kiddush, let her be praised.
Let's toast her for the fruit of her labors;
may the multitude of gifts she has given this shul
be a blessing back to her, and praise her at its gates.
I was absolutely tickled.
A number of other people very dear to me were specially present, and we had lots of singing, and a fair quantity of Scotch, and it was a lovely sendoff. Thanks to all those of you who were there.
(And if you missed it, it looks like I'm still going to be in town after all for the Community Shabbat Dinner on August 19th, so you can sign up for that. There'll probably even still be some Scotch left.)
I got to stand up and say a few words (it was Parshat Dvarim, get it??) -- although I wasn't sure if I felt more like the Israelites about to cross the Jordan (which, as I pointed out, in Italian is il Giordano), or like Moshe admonishing the Israelites by way of a historical overview of their sojourn. But it seemed to go okay.
And there was lox, and real whitefish (lovingly deboned by B"H Model), and black-and-whites.
There were also a couple of nice tribute parodies offered, which I found so delightful that I wanted to record them here for posterity and share with you all. One was written by father-of-hilaritea to the tune of the Major General's song from The Pirates of Penzance:
Erica:
I am the very model of egalitarian orthodox
I keep my linen shirts in drawers far away from woolen socks
I know the genealogy and quote by heart the wanderings
Of patriarchs and matriarchs through Canaan’s many wells and springs
I’m very well acquainted too with matters theological
I understand the offerings of grain and fruit and lamb and fowl
About the rules of Kashrut I am teeming with a lot of news
With many cheerful facts about organic foods that you can use
Chorus:
With many cheerful facts about organic foods that you can use... (x3)
Erica:
I ‘m very good at Shacharit, Mussaf and Mincha-Maariv
I know the kosher restaurants from Cambridge, Mass., to Tel Aviv
I know the trope for Aicha, Ruth, and Esther and the Song of Songs
Except for Pazer, which no-body ever knows when I get wrong
I know what Martin Buber meant by “I and thou” and “I and it”
And why Freud disliked Moses (it’s because he thought his mother did)
Although my other interests may make it seem a paradox
I am the very model of egalitarian orthodox
Chorus:
She is the very model of egalitarian orthodox! (x3)
Edited To Add, since someone asked: In fact, no, I don't consider myself Orthodox by any stretch. We noted that privately at the time of the dramatic reading. (But it does rhyme so beautifully with "paradox".)
The other was written by la-vie-en-rosie and her spouse, RLS formerly of the Menschen, in the vein of Eishet Chayil (A Woman of Valor), which is a passage from Proverbs traditionally sung on Friday nights to the woman of the household:
אשת חייל מי ימצא-
A woman of valor who can find?
For her worth is far above membership dues.
The board of trustees shall trust in her,
for she is trusty.
She does only good and no harm, all the days of her life.
She installs Adobe Illustrator, and produces works of art.
She is like the merchant ships:
From Brookline, she bringeth kosher pizza.
She sets up before the barbecue and gives food to the walk-ins,
and discounts to paid-up members.
She makes a minyan and leads it;
she brings us together on Friday nights.
She sends out Ausblick in dead of night;
With the fruit of Sukkot, she makes etrog vodka.
The yad she extends to the Torah,
and she does not drop the scroll during hagbah.
She trundles to shacharit through snow,
and all her winter clothes are colorful.
Purim costumes she makes herself,
vinyl and fishnets are her 80s-dance garb.
She plans fun events by the dozens, for 20s and 30s and NExT.
Her mouth she opens in song, and she leads us all in zemirot. (and sea shanties!)
She oversees communal shabbat dinners,
and always holds the whipped cream at a perfect 90° angle,
and never lets propellant escape.
Her awesomeness is known at the gates
of all the synagogues of Boston.
The community thrives and is made happy;
all members praise her:
Many TBSers have excelled, but you surpass them all!
Time is fleeting; soon she will leave us --
so now at this kiddush, let her be praised.
Let's toast her for the fruit of her labors;
may the multitude of gifts she has given this shul
be a blessing back to her, and praise her at its gates.
I was absolutely tickled.
A number of other people very dear to me were specially present, and we had lots of singing, and a fair quantity of Scotch, and it was a lovely sendoff. Thanks to all those of you who were there.
(And if you missed it, it looks like I'm still going to be in town after all for the Community Shabbat Dinner on August 19th, so you can sign up for that. There'll probably even still be some Scotch left.)