Dead Inside
If I Could Start Again, I would keep myself, I would find a way. You could have it all. My Empire Of Dirt. I will let you down. I will make you hurt. I am the most ignorant person on this planet, i would completely understand if i was left alone in this cold dark world. I made HUGE mistakes in the last 2 years of my life and i just wish i new from the beginning, life teaches us through our mistakes, but why were mine so devastating in the end. I Moved with good intentions, i lost her, so needing a person there was a mistake, but i knew the right person might never be there....why did i even create a life where all i do is hurt people. Sure Nice Guys Finish last, but id rather be that guy who loses then be an asshole and loses what matters. She hurt me, and i took it, thinking i was out of her life. I didnt think she would ever want me back but now im truly lost cause now i want her back and would rather fight then stand here, and now she needs her space. I want to give her everything but now i cant even prove myself. She has been the most important person in my life, and now i dont know if i can get her back from being an asshole and stabbing myself in the back. It seems that it is opposite then when i met her. Now im the depressed person feeling unwanted and alone in my mind and she is the more positive and in control in her life then me. Im still gonna be that good guy now, im not turning back, its not worth it when you lose the ones you TRULY LOVE. I cant believe i did this to myself. I just read her last 2 journals and i didnt realize. I realy ruined my life if she doesnt accept my apologies and not im sitting here more confused then ive ever been and more depressed and mad at myself. Im gonna just sit and wait for as long as i need....cause i believe in fate and i know shes the one, the one i need to make me complete...god i just want to treat her like a queen and be mine and never have to regret my love. The last 6 months are the most regretful months of my entire life and i found out that having fun and being single, is in fact not fun at all after you see the people you hurt and the feelings you wasted when they are non existant towards the people you see. People die young every day, and the only thing ive truly been afraid of is dying alone and not letting the people that should be in myu life know that i loved them more than life itself...I want her to be mine again, i want to kiss her with no feeling of wondering if she wanted to in the first place. I want the affection i crave and the love that i give to come back to me from her. I miss it all and shes the only thing that can make me smile, some people say that life will go on, forgeting a person is not easy but it can be done, but i say if you truly love them and show that everyday to them, why would you give up when youd do anything for them and i just want that feeling back from her and then i would know. I have so much more to rant about but its just so much to say in one sitting
Stay
Will You Be Here When I Wake
Will You Stay Beside Me Here
I Try So Hard To Fake
Pretending That You'll Appear.
The Day You Left
Is The Day I Died
The Night I Wept
Is The Night You Lied
I Broke Down To You
Telling you, you should stay
You Said We Were Through
Thinking about it Everyday
Ive Shot The Moon
And Screamed Your Name
My Days Will End Soon
Cant You See Im Insane
Cause The Day You Left
Is The Day I Died
The Nights I Slept
Where Nights You Were Mine
I Broke Down To You
Telling you, you should stay
You Said We Were Through
Thinking about it Everyday
Maybe If I Quit
I'll Forget About All Of It
Free My Soul
Find The Words to Admit
Im Crying In My Sleep
When Im Not Dreaming Of The Day
Wanting You For Me To Keep
The Day You Went Away
Cause The Day You Left
Is The Day I Died
The Night I Wept
Is The Night You Lied
I Yelled Out To You
Telling you, you should Go
You Broke Down To Me
I Loved You Long Ago
Brie if your reading this i am so sorry and did not realize that i ruined your feelings about me and i hope you know inside....the real me and the me you fell in love with is here and waiting for you
Stay
Will You Be Here When I Wake
Will You Stay Beside Me Here
I Try So Hard To Fake
Pretending That You'll Appear.
The Day You Left
Is The Day I Died
The Night I Wept
Is The Night You Lied
I Broke Down To You
Telling you, you should stay
You Said We Were Through
Thinking about it Everyday
Ive Shot The Moon
And Screamed Your Name
My Days Will End Soon
Cant You See Im Insane
Cause The Day You Left
Is The Day I Died
The Nights I Slept
Where Nights You Were Mine
I Broke Down To You
Telling you, you should stay
You Said We Were Through
Thinking about it Everyday
Maybe If I Quit
I'll Forget About All Of It
Free My Soul
Find The Words to Admit
Im Crying In My Sleep
When Im Not Dreaming Of The Day
Wanting You For Me To Keep
The Day You Went Away
Cause The Day You Left
Is The Day I Died
The Night I Wept
Is The Night You Lied
I Yelled Out To You
Telling you, you should Go
You Broke Down To Me
I Loved You Long Ago
Brie if your reading this i am so sorry and did not realize that i ruined your feelings about me and i hope you know inside....the real me and the me you fell in love with is here and waiting for you