I'm here but why.
Apparently work lifted the LJ ban. I wonder if I will come back here to post after being gone.
I've been going through things, things that I wish I had someone to talk to or a therapist to work things out with. Sadly tho, doesn't look like its gonna happen. I've called over 20 places and none are accepting new patients. I did get a new pen and paper journal to start writing in because I remember having one when I was in a past abusive relationship, and it helped. I've noticed that I'm not writing for me, I'm not going any deeper than whats surface tension already. Its the same filter that i feel on my life everyday, I just thought that I'd be able to get into the writing and honesty and stuff - getting whats in my head out. But its not working. I'm such a liar. I wish I knew who to trust, who to talk to and all that. It seemed easier before...now there is so much apprehension and fear...I should have more of this down by now.
And the holidays steadily approaching doesn't make it any better.
I've been going through things, things that I wish I had someone to talk to or a therapist to work things out with. Sadly tho, doesn't look like its gonna happen. I've called over 20 places and none are accepting new patients. I did get a new pen and paper journal to start writing in because I remember having one when I was in a past abusive relationship, and it helped. I've noticed that I'm not writing for me, I'm not going any deeper than whats surface tension already. Its the same filter that i feel on my life everyday, I just thought that I'd be able to get into the writing and honesty and stuff - getting whats in my head out. But its not working. I'm such a liar. I wish I knew who to trust, who to talk to and all that. It seemed easier before...now there is so much apprehension and fear...I should have more of this down by now.
And the holidays steadily approaching doesn't make it any better.