30 hours - Distraction - junk food for the soul
I feel like pouring my heart out to the electronic bits of light for some reason. Sometimes (mostly because only two people read this journal) I feel like I am writing into some kind of white void. When the site went down in December I thought, "Wonderful peanuts! Here we go." Then I thought, "pssfft who the hell reads this shit anyhow??"
My words are just floating here. There is a universal meaning until the light's life is extinguished. Everyone could see it if they knew where it was and was interested in the subject matter. Once that fades, so do these words.
We have taken all of this for granted and have come to trust these things we barely understand (well most of us). Technology, the internet, hard drives, love, we take it all for granted and trust it even though we know that it is the all powerful trust holder. Then in a single instantaneous complex UNFORSEEN moment it's all gone *poof. We are going to have to stand here starring at the void wondering why we trusted it so much. I am prepared. I have lost much larger before.
We cope. We exist. We hide. We do whatever it takes to make it happen outside of our skin and everything it takes to stall it from happening within. Why? Do we hate our on bodies that much? The body is the source of all pain. But it is also the source of all pleasure and everything in between. Sometimes focusing on the pain feels good. Have you ever heard that load of fucking bull before? I hear it all the time. Remember, focusing on your pain masks your fear. Hello! Getting it? It's a distraction from the real problem, fear.
I was vibrating this morning at breakfast. It might have had to do with the 2 pots of coffee and all-nighter jammin code session I had, however, the fact still remains that I was vibrating and it was coming from the inside pulsating outward and back in again as if my body was literally expanding and contracting like an energy bubble. It became a very comfortable feeling.
I brought this book that was given to La La Pantalones written my Dr. Wayne Dyer. This book is right up my alley, a perfect distraction. This is a book about a very educated and very inspired man's attempt to speak about his inspirations. He Chose 60 intellectuals from the past dating as far back as 600 B.C. from poems, prose, and other writings. The cool part is he explains who everyone was and their contributions. All of these people contributed and it is still living today in people's hearts and minds unlike this text. This text has a life expectancy of the group of people that support this application. I don't want to foretell then demise of live Journal but I have a hankering' of a clue it's not even within a smidgen of 3000 years.
The prelude is just fucking sweet. Like cinnamon sugar. He pours it on THICK. I mean I caught my self tearing up when I read the poem his daughter gave to him.
Even if the sun stops shining,
even if the sky is never blue
It won't matter
Because I will always love you.
What would you do if you were sitting in a I-Hop munching on your cornflakes when this dude that looks like he has been up all night sits next to you opens his book and within second starts to weep? I would chuckle. But only because I can say I have been there.
The first chapter was a doozy. Something I have been thinking about for a very very long time but have been too afraid to face myself to commit: Meditation. I have been thinking about meditating for a long time but I know that I have this deep dark fear of silence and not being able to be distracted from myself.
Learn to be silent.
Let your
quiet mind
listen and absorb
- Pythagoras (580 B.C.-500 B.C.)
Fucker lived to be 80 in a time 30 was an old man.
All man's miseries derive from not being able to site quietly in a room alone.
- Blaise Pascal (1623-1662)
He starts off with these quotes. My immediate thought was "oooo wait until I rub it in La La Thunderpant's face that not being able to be alone will cause misery in a man." Then I thought, "damn that's mean. I don't think that a man that invented hydrolics and the sryinge meant being alone in a room playing counterstrike."
They mean meditation. Listening to the inner silence. He explains that the inner silence is what we are all afraid of. The author continued to explain that the average human has 60,000 seperate thoughts each day. The part that makes me cringe is the realization they are the same basic categories of thought we have every day over and over again.
I am not afraid of the silence. I embrace the silence. I love solitude. I am a only child for god sakes. As long as my mind can play, I am just fine. I am afraid I am going to change. There I said it.
So, in the end this white space black pixel combo is my distraction for today.
My words are just floating here. There is a universal meaning until the light's life is extinguished. Everyone could see it if they knew where it was and was interested in the subject matter. Once that fades, so do these words.
We have taken all of this for granted and have come to trust these things we barely understand (well most of us). Technology, the internet, hard drives, love, we take it all for granted and trust it even though we know that it is the all powerful trust holder. Then in a single instantaneous complex UNFORSEEN moment it's all gone *poof. We are going to have to stand here starring at the void wondering why we trusted it so much. I am prepared. I have lost much larger before.
We cope. We exist. We hide. We do whatever it takes to make it happen outside of our skin and everything it takes to stall it from happening within. Why? Do we hate our on bodies that much? The body is the source of all pain. But it is also the source of all pleasure and everything in between. Sometimes focusing on the pain feels good. Have you ever heard that load of fucking bull before? I hear it all the time. Remember, focusing on your pain masks your fear. Hello! Getting it? It's a distraction from the real problem, fear.
I was vibrating this morning at breakfast. It might have had to do with the 2 pots of coffee and all-nighter jammin code session I had, however, the fact still remains that I was vibrating and it was coming from the inside pulsating outward and back in again as if my body was literally expanding and contracting like an energy bubble. It became a very comfortable feeling.
I brought this book that was given to La La Pantalones written my Dr. Wayne Dyer. This book is right up my alley, a perfect distraction. This is a book about a very educated and very inspired man's attempt to speak about his inspirations. He Chose 60 intellectuals from the past dating as far back as 600 B.C. from poems, prose, and other writings. The cool part is he explains who everyone was and their contributions. All of these people contributed and it is still living today in people's hearts and minds unlike this text. This text has a life expectancy of the group of people that support this application. I don't want to foretell then demise of live Journal but I have a hankering' of a clue it's not even within a smidgen of 3000 years.
The prelude is just fucking sweet. Like cinnamon sugar. He pours it on THICK. I mean I caught my self tearing up when I read the poem his daughter gave to him.
Even if the sun stops shining,
even if the sky is never blue
It won't matter
Because I will always love you.
What would you do if you were sitting in a I-Hop munching on your cornflakes when this dude that looks like he has been up all night sits next to you opens his book and within second starts to weep? I would chuckle. But only because I can say I have been there.
The first chapter was a doozy. Something I have been thinking about for a very very long time but have been too afraid to face myself to commit: Meditation. I have been thinking about meditating for a long time but I know that I have this deep dark fear of silence and not being able to be distracted from myself.
Learn to be silent.
Let your
quiet mind
listen and absorb
- Pythagoras (580 B.C.-500 B.C.)
Fucker lived to be 80 in a time 30 was an old man.
All man's miseries derive from not being able to site quietly in a room alone.
- Blaise Pascal (1623-1662)
He starts off with these quotes. My immediate thought was "oooo wait until I rub it in La La Thunderpant's face that not being able to be alone will cause misery in a man." Then I thought, "damn that's mean. I don't think that a man that invented hydrolics and the sryinge meant being alone in a room playing counterstrike."
They mean meditation. Listening to the inner silence. He explains that the inner silence is what we are all afraid of. The author continued to explain that the average human has 60,000 seperate thoughts each day. The part that makes me cringe is the realization they are the same basic categories of thought we have every day over and over again.
I am not afraid of the silence. I embrace the silence. I love solitude. I am a only child for god sakes. As long as my mind can play, I am just fine. I am afraid I am going to change. There I said it.
So, in the end this white space black pixel combo is my distraction for today.