Dying
So, as you are no doubt just dying to find out, here's the end analysis of the idea of letting Jeanna come to visit:
Pretty much it wasn't an awful idea, but it wasn't a particularly great one either. We certainly had some fun times, and when she wasn't being standoffish it was pretty much fun to hang out with her again. Certain down sides for sure, like I can't tell you how tired I am of being reminded that she can have sex whenever she wants. And she would become inexplicably furious approximately once/day. But most of the time, things were actually cool with us, and we went to NYC together and had a good time.
Last night however, ended up pretty terrible. Like, things were actually great when we got back from NYC, we were having a good time playing some rock band with my roomies and a couple other guys from the boat, we had some drinks, and everyone was having a good time. But then the party started to break up, and her and I ended up talking, which was also good believe it or not. Until somehow we ended up on the subject of our breakup, and I have no idea how we got there because it was a significant tangent. But it's still a kind of painful memory, and then she had the nerve to act like everything was my fault. Now, I'm not opposed for taking some blame in any of my relationships, I know I made mistakes in all of them, and they no doubt contributed to their end, but there is a certain amount of responsibility on the party that decides they would rather sleep with my friend than me while we're still dating too. I sure as hell didn't force her to do that.
So, ultimately she ended up doing her thing that also infuriates me, where she acts like she's going to just walk out of my life and never speak to me again, and then she refused to talk anymore. So, I was pretty angry, and heartbroken, and all sorts of other things. Essentially a vessel of the dark side. So, when I'm feeling like that, I usually like to go for a drive, but since I was drunk I couldn't. And so I only saw 2 options, one was to drink until I didn't feel (which I opted not to do) and the other was to run away... so I did. I ran to work and back, which is about 5 miles, and then I did pushups and situps until I couldn't do anymore when I got back. It was pretty miserable actually.
Today she had to leave, so I drove her to the airport, which was a mostly silent 45 minute car ride... awkward. But, she kinda perked up toward the end, and I think we're ok now, but who knows. Regardless, I enjoyed the visit for the most part, I just needed to vent about the things that didn't go so well. Obviously there was a bunch of fun stuff that happened too.
Anyway, I'm going to lay down, cause I got very little sleep, and my body hurts.
Pretty much it wasn't an awful idea, but it wasn't a particularly great one either. We certainly had some fun times, and when she wasn't being standoffish it was pretty much fun to hang out with her again. Certain down sides for sure, like I can't tell you how tired I am of being reminded that she can have sex whenever she wants. And she would become inexplicably furious approximately once/day. But most of the time, things were actually cool with us, and we went to NYC together and had a good time.
Last night however, ended up pretty terrible. Like, things were actually great when we got back from NYC, we were having a good time playing some rock band with my roomies and a couple other guys from the boat, we had some drinks, and everyone was having a good time. But then the party started to break up, and her and I ended up talking, which was also good believe it or not. Until somehow we ended up on the subject of our breakup, and I have no idea how we got there because it was a significant tangent. But it's still a kind of painful memory, and then she had the nerve to act like everything was my fault. Now, I'm not opposed for taking some blame in any of my relationships, I know I made mistakes in all of them, and they no doubt contributed to their end, but there is a certain amount of responsibility on the party that decides they would rather sleep with my friend than me while we're still dating too. I sure as hell didn't force her to do that.
So, ultimately she ended up doing her thing that also infuriates me, where she acts like she's going to just walk out of my life and never speak to me again, and then she refused to talk anymore. So, I was pretty angry, and heartbroken, and all sorts of other things. Essentially a vessel of the dark side. So, when I'm feeling like that, I usually like to go for a drive, but since I was drunk I couldn't. And so I only saw 2 options, one was to drink until I didn't feel (which I opted not to do) and the other was to run away... so I did. I ran to work and back, which is about 5 miles, and then I did pushups and situps until I couldn't do anymore when I got back. It was pretty miserable actually.
Today she had to leave, so I drove her to the airport, which was a mostly silent 45 minute car ride... awkward. But, she kinda perked up toward the end, and I think we're ok now, but who knows. Regardless, I enjoyed the visit for the most part, I just needed to vent about the things that didn't go so well. Obviously there was a bunch of fun stuff that happened too.
Anyway, I'm going to lay down, cause I got very little sleep, and my body hurts.