SDC #32: Whatever will they say about Rodney McKay?
:: for rissabby ::
“I hate Ancient machines,” muttered Rodney McKay, glaring poisonously at a passing child as it zoomed by on a floating scooter.
“Woah,” said Sheppard. “Floating scooter!”
“Oh, yes, of course,” replied Rodney, turning his glare on his team leader. “Let’s not worry at all about the fact that we seem to have found ourselves slap bang in the middle of Earth circa 2150, and instead run after kids on FLYING DEATH TRAPS.”
Sheppard pulled a face. “Jeez, Rodney, I thought you’d be more psyched about the future than this.”
“It is… quite remarkable,” observed Teyla, turning in a slow circle, the better to take in the city around her.
“I’m hungry,” said Ronon, looking far less impressed.
Rodney sneered. “Oh, you’re…” He paused, and contemplated something. “Yeah,” he said eventually. “I’m hungry too.”
“There’s a park that-a-way,” pointed out Sheppard. “Let’s have a break, take in the atmosphere, then go and find a way back home.”
They headed towards the park, and found an empty patch of green to sit on. Rodney had just taken a bite of his power bar when he caught a snatch of the conversation the people next to them were having, and he froze, arm halfway to his mouth.
“I got Einstein,” one unfeasibly stereotypical student-type was saying. “What about you, Soph?”
“Galileo,” the girl replied.
“Classic. Ems got Copernicus.”
“What about Stu?”
“Bardhan.”
“Nice.”
“What are you talking about?” demanded Rodney, breaking into the conversation unabashedly. To their credit, the students only looked mildly taken aback.
“Debate for our HistSci class,” the girl said. “We each got given a famous scientist and we have to debate who was the most influential.”
“Huh,” said Rodney thoughtfully. “So, uh, who got… McKay?”
“Rodney!” protested Sheppard. Rodney flapped an impatient hand in his direction. The students still looked confused.
“Um… who?” asked the boy.
“Wait, McKay... wasn’t he the guy who invented the flush toilet?” said the girl, her forehead creasing in concentration.
“No, he did not!” exclaimed Rodney. “He was a brilliant - some might say peerless - physicist from the late twentieth century. Well, and early twenty-first. Some of his best work came then, actually.”
“Dude, I’ve never heard of him,” said the boy, shrugging.
“Me neither,” said the girl. “Sorry.” They turned back to their picnic, and Rodney sat gaping at them.
“I’m still hungry,” said Ronon.
“My life is a wasteland,” said Rodney tragically.
“Oh, it’s not that bad,” said Sheppard.
“Not that bad? NOT THAT BAD?” Rodney stood up, face flushed with indignation. “I have one of the greatest minds IN THE WORLD and those… those children have never even heard of me!”
“The regard of history is not the measure of a man’s achievements,” said Teyla, and Rodney snorted.
“Yeah, well, where I come from, it is very much the measure of a man’s achievement!” he said. “I know what’s happened, of course. Mmhmm. They never declassified me. It’s obvious. It’s probably Carter’s fault. She’s always been jealous of my superior intellect. In an outstanding display of vindictive… vindictiveness, she’s made sure that all of my work remained classified. This is an OUTRAGE! I should sue someone. Maybe the government.”
“Rodney.”
“Maybe the Air Force. I bet there were quite a few people there who were happy to see me sink into ignominy.”
“Rodney.”
“And I wouldn’t be at all surprised if it turned out that Zelenka had something to do with it.”
“Zelenka?” The girl looked up, eyes bright. “Oh wow, isn’t he awesome? Harry got him for the debate, and everyone was like totally jealous. I mean, his contributions to science are just… I mean, immeasurable. His theories on native particles changed the way we viewed science! And he is soo cute!”
“He totally rocks,” concurred the boy.
“I am actually in Hell,” said Rodney blankly.
“Rodney. Rodney!”
And then suddenly Rodney wasn’t in Hell, or future Earth, or anywhere weird, but in an abandoned lab on Atlantis, and Zelenka - with his ridiculous glasses and ridiculous fuzzy hair and ridiculous tiny brain - was peering at him over a console.
“Rodney? Are you all right?”
“Wh- Yes. Yes, absolutely. Fine. Couldn’t be better.”
“That is good,” said Zelenka. “You went white like ghost, and then machine went pfft, and…” He trailed off, consulting his laptop. “I am not sure exactly what the machine does, but…”
“Well, nothing much that anyone cares about, I imagine,” said Rodney casually. “Let’s get some lunch. I’m about to go into some kind of coma.”
They abandoned the room, and Rodney made his way to the mess hall, where he grabbed a tray, loaded it up, and sat down at the table where Sheppard, Ronon and Teyla were variously engaged in su doku puzzles and cleaning weapons.
“What am I going to be in the future?” Rodney demanded.
“World’s greatest Nobel prize winner,” said everyone without bothering to look up.
Rodney nodded decisively. “Damn straight I am.”
“I hate Ancient machines,” muttered Rodney McKay, glaring poisonously at a passing child as it zoomed by on a floating scooter.
“Woah,” said Sheppard. “Floating scooter!”
“Oh, yes, of course,” replied Rodney, turning his glare on his team leader. “Let’s not worry at all about the fact that we seem to have found ourselves slap bang in the middle of Earth circa 2150, and instead run after kids on FLYING DEATH TRAPS.”
Sheppard pulled a face. “Jeez, Rodney, I thought you’d be more psyched about the future than this.”
“It is… quite remarkable,” observed Teyla, turning in a slow circle, the better to take in the city around her.
“I’m hungry,” said Ronon, looking far less impressed.
Rodney sneered. “Oh, you’re…” He paused, and contemplated something. “Yeah,” he said eventually. “I’m hungry too.”
“There’s a park that-a-way,” pointed out Sheppard. “Let’s have a break, take in the atmosphere, then go and find a way back home.”
They headed towards the park, and found an empty patch of green to sit on. Rodney had just taken a bite of his power bar when he caught a snatch of the conversation the people next to them were having, and he froze, arm halfway to his mouth.
“I got Einstein,” one unfeasibly stereotypical student-type was saying. “What about you, Soph?”
“Galileo,” the girl replied.
“Classic. Ems got Copernicus.”
“What about Stu?”
“Bardhan.”
“Nice.”
“What are you talking about?” demanded Rodney, breaking into the conversation unabashedly. To their credit, the students only looked mildly taken aback.
“Debate for our HistSci class,” the girl said. “We each got given a famous scientist and we have to debate who was the most influential.”
“Huh,” said Rodney thoughtfully. “So, uh, who got… McKay?”
“Rodney!” protested Sheppard. Rodney flapped an impatient hand in his direction. The students still looked confused.
“Um… who?” asked the boy.
“Wait, McKay... wasn’t he the guy who invented the flush toilet?” said the girl, her forehead creasing in concentration.
“No, he did not!” exclaimed Rodney. “He was a brilliant - some might say peerless - physicist from the late twentieth century. Well, and early twenty-first. Some of his best work came then, actually.”
“Dude, I’ve never heard of him,” said the boy, shrugging.
“Me neither,” said the girl. “Sorry.” They turned back to their picnic, and Rodney sat gaping at them.
“I’m still hungry,” said Ronon.
“My life is a wasteland,” said Rodney tragically.
“Oh, it’s not that bad,” said Sheppard.
“Not that bad? NOT THAT BAD?” Rodney stood up, face flushed with indignation. “I have one of the greatest minds IN THE WORLD and those… those children have never even heard of me!”
“The regard of history is not the measure of a man’s achievements,” said Teyla, and Rodney snorted.
“Yeah, well, where I come from, it is very much the measure of a man’s achievement!” he said. “I know what’s happened, of course. Mmhmm. They never declassified me. It’s obvious. It’s probably Carter’s fault. She’s always been jealous of my superior intellect. In an outstanding display of vindictive… vindictiveness, she’s made sure that all of my work remained classified. This is an OUTRAGE! I should sue someone. Maybe the government.”
“Rodney.”
“Maybe the Air Force. I bet there were quite a few people there who were happy to see me sink into ignominy.”
“Rodney.”
“And I wouldn’t be at all surprised if it turned out that Zelenka had something to do with it.”
“Zelenka?” The girl looked up, eyes bright. “Oh wow, isn’t he awesome? Harry got him for the debate, and everyone was like totally jealous. I mean, his contributions to science are just… I mean, immeasurable. His theories on native particles changed the way we viewed science! And he is soo cute!”
“He totally rocks,” concurred the boy.
“I am actually in Hell,” said Rodney blankly.
“Rodney. Rodney!”
And then suddenly Rodney wasn’t in Hell, or future Earth, or anywhere weird, but in an abandoned lab on Atlantis, and Zelenka - with his ridiculous glasses and ridiculous fuzzy hair and ridiculous tiny brain - was peering at him over a console.
“Rodney? Are you all right?”
“Wh- Yes. Yes, absolutely. Fine. Couldn’t be better.”
“That is good,” said Zelenka. “You went white like ghost, and then machine went pfft, and…” He trailed off, consulting his laptop. “I am not sure exactly what the machine does, but…”
“Well, nothing much that anyone cares about, I imagine,” said Rodney casually. “Let’s get some lunch. I’m about to go into some kind of coma.”
They abandoned the room, and Rodney made his way to the mess hall, where he grabbed a tray, loaded it up, and sat down at the table where Sheppard, Ronon and Teyla were variously engaged in su doku puzzles and cleaning weapons.
“What am I going to be in the future?” Rodney demanded.
“World’s greatest Nobel prize winner,” said everyone without bothering to look up.
Rodney nodded decisively. “Damn straight I am.”