"Don’t sit under the apple tree with anyone else but me…"
Well, golly gee. Have emerged from the other end of the Spring Gather 2009. Woo. I shall now proceed to tell you all about it. Look excited. You know this is going to be a tiny treat.
Friday
(a) Thursday
Well, actually, Thursday evening: Darren came round to collect me and my luggage, Katie’s luggage (well, if a rucksack and sleeping bag can really constitute ‘luggage’) and FIFTY MILLION BOXES OF GATHER CRAP. Returned to chez King, and faffed around quite a bit making door signs (beauteous) and the like. Went to bed.
(b) Bletchley Park
On Friday, we faffed some more and then, once Katherine had arrived, set off for Bletchley Park (where we met Heather and Helen), which was vee interesting apart from the part where we ended up tacked onto the special IBM tour which was filled with slightly strange men in anoraks. Also, I fail at museums, because I hate audioguides, and reading signs and any kind of information. I just like to look (and touch, where possible) and go ooh. Not very educational, but certainly enjoyable. Also, there was a mock up of a 1940s kitchen/living room AND IT HAD A TINY BE-RO BOOK IN IT!!! Awesome. Bought a tiny bit of tat in the gift shop (oh, and spent too much on a very mediocre chilli con carne in the restaurant). Saw the Colossus machine, with a very interesting man talking about it (OK, so real live people talking information at me I can handle), and as with anything to do with the War, I went around feeling a little glow of pride about being British etc.
(c) Fetching Nicola
Towards the end, we managed to lose Kathye and Katherine, get bored, and ended up hanging out in Heather’s car. Then we realised it was time to fetch Nicola from the station. I present an artistic interpretation of the events that followed:
Helen: OMG! Nicola! Let’s go now!!
Me & Heather: Nicola doesn’t even arrive for half an hour.
Helen: Oh.
Helen: OMG! Let’s go now!
Me: The station is literally three minutes away. WE ARE NOT GOING NOW.
Helen: Can we go now?
Me & Heather: Yes, fine, we will go now.
[Three minutes later]
Me: See. Station.
Helen & Heather: Yeah. That’s Bletchley station.
Me: Why, yes, yes it is. Is that not right?
Heather: No, we need Milton Keynes station.
Me: Oh.
Helen: HA HA HA HA!!
Heather: How do we get to Milton Keynes station?
Me & Helen: [look blankly]
Heather: I have satnav!
Helen: I repeat everything the satnav says!
Me: [thinks “ha ha Helen is Tawny Madison” but sadly does not think H or H will appreciate this and says nothing; tells Katie later and she understands and laughs]
Satnav: If you use me while driving, YOU MAY DIE!!! Are you OK with this?
Helen: We are absolutely OK with that, Satnav. You may proceed to direct us to Milton Keynes station.
Satnav: Drive 0.2 miles and turn left.
Heather: Ha! I have already done that. Fail, Satnav!
Satnav: At the roundabout, take the first exit.
Satnav: At the roundabout, take the second exit.
Satnav: At the roundabout, take the third exit.
Satnav: At the roundabout, take the first exit.
Satnav: At the roundabout, take the second exit.
Satnav: At the roundabout, take the third exit.
Me: Does anyone actually know where we are?
Heather: No.
Helen: I’m just repeating everything the satnav says.
Satnav: At the roundabout, take the first exit.
Satnav: At the roundabout, take the second exit.
Satnav: At the roundabout, take the third exit.
Me, Helen & Heather: Milton Keynes sucks.
Me: If we’re even in Milton Keynes.
Helen: I have no idea where we are.
Satnav: At the roundabout, take the first exit.
Satnav: At the roundabout, take the second exit.
Satnav: At the roundabout, take the third exit.
Heather: Ooh! Station!
Me: Ooh! Nicola!
Helen: Ooh! There’s a restaurant that looks like a chocolate box!
Heather: Now, how do we get to Heron’s Lodge?
Me & Helen: We have no knowledge about anything.
Helen: I repeat everything the satnav says. That is my job.
Nicola: [is competent]
(d) More Gatheriness
Um, I’m bored now. More later…
Friday
(a) Thursday
Well, actually, Thursday evening: Darren came round to collect me and my luggage, Katie’s luggage (well, if a rucksack and sleeping bag can really constitute ‘luggage’) and FIFTY MILLION BOXES OF GATHER CRAP. Returned to chez King, and faffed around quite a bit making door signs (beauteous) and the like. Went to bed.
(b) Bletchley Park
On Friday, we faffed some more and then, once Katherine had arrived, set off for Bletchley Park (where we met Heather and Helen), which was vee interesting apart from the part where we ended up tacked onto the special IBM tour which was filled with slightly strange men in anoraks. Also, I fail at museums, because I hate audioguides, and reading signs and any kind of information. I just like to look (and touch, where possible) and go ooh. Not very educational, but certainly enjoyable. Also, there was a mock up of a 1940s kitchen/living room AND IT HAD A TINY BE-RO BOOK IN IT!!! Awesome. Bought a tiny bit of tat in the gift shop (oh, and spent too much on a very mediocre chilli con carne in the restaurant). Saw the Colossus machine, with a very interesting man talking about it (OK, so real live people talking information at me I can handle), and as with anything to do with the War, I went around feeling a little glow of pride about being British etc.
(c) Fetching Nicola
Towards the end, we managed to lose Kathye and Katherine, get bored, and ended up hanging out in Heather’s car. Then we realised it was time to fetch Nicola from the station. I present an artistic interpretation of the events that followed:
Helen: OMG! Nicola! Let’s go now!!
Me & Heather: Nicola doesn’t even arrive for half an hour.
Helen: Oh.
Helen: OMG! Let’s go now!
Me: The station is literally three minutes away. WE ARE NOT GOING NOW.
Helen: Can we go now?
Me & Heather: Yes, fine, we will go now.
[Three minutes later]
Me: See. Station.
Helen & Heather: Yeah. That’s Bletchley station.
Me: Why, yes, yes it is. Is that not right?
Heather: No, we need Milton Keynes station.
Me: Oh.
Helen: HA HA HA HA!!
Heather: How do we get to Milton Keynes station?
Me & Helen: [look blankly]
Heather: I have satnav!
Helen: I repeat everything the satnav says!
Me: [thinks “ha ha Helen is Tawny Madison” but sadly does not think H or H will appreciate this and says nothing; tells Katie later and she understands and laughs]
Satnav: If you use me while driving, YOU MAY DIE!!! Are you OK with this?
Helen: We are absolutely OK with that, Satnav. You may proceed to direct us to Milton Keynes station.
Satnav: Drive 0.2 miles and turn left.
Heather: Ha! I have already done that. Fail, Satnav!
Satnav: At the roundabout, take the first exit.
Satnav: At the roundabout, take the second exit.
Satnav: At the roundabout, take the third exit.
Satnav: At the roundabout, take the first exit.
Satnav: At the roundabout, take the second exit.
Satnav: At the roundabout, take the third exit.
Me: Does anyone actually know where we are?
Heather: No.
Helen: I’m just repeating everything the satnav says.
Satnav: At the roundabout, take the first exit.
Satnav: At the roundabout, take the second exit.
Satnav: At the roundabout, take the third exit.
Me, Helen & Heather: Milton Keynes sucks.
Me: If we’re even in Milton Keynes.
Helen: I have no idea where we are.
Satnav: At the roundabout, take the first exit.
Satnav: At the roundabout, take the second exit.
Satnav: At the roundabout, take the third exit.
Heather: Ooh! Station!
Me: Ooh! Nicola!
Helen: Ooh! There’s a restaurant that looks like a chocolate box!
Heather: Now, how do we get to Heron’s Lodge?
Me & Helen: We have no knowledge about anything.
Helen: I repeat everything the satnav says. That is my job.
Nicola: [is competent]
(d) More Gatheriness
Um, I’m bored now. More later…