Oh that Nostalgic feeling
Hmmm. I don't know what to write here, but for some reason I feel the need to post something...Writing is Theraputic after all.
Do you ever get that feeling of having too much of something and you just need a break from it?
Yeah...I'm kinda feeling like that at the moment. Whenever I think about this thing...I just feel sick and try to change my focus elsewhere. I do think it's natural at this point. After all, I've spent a lot of time on it for the last little while. I feel like if I spend any more time on it I'll just be forcing it down my own throat unwillingly. Maybe it's time to move on? I think this might be a sign... Bah, I'm just rambling about stuff that I'm not entirely sure about, so if anyone just so happens to be reading this, I'm sorry.
Yeah, other things keep surfacing in my mind at the moment.
I miss two people who have been very important in my life. It's funny that I haven't seen them for over 8 years, but they still have a dear place in my heart. Unfortunately, we kinda left on bad terms, (for reasons I won't divulge into) even though we were the best of friends. They moved a week before I did and we promised we would stay in touch. I moved to my new home and didn't hear any news from them for a long time. I started to worry. I know they had a pretty good reason to move, but I didn't think it would keep them from contacting me. Eventually, months later, I got a called from one of them.
I was so excited! But I noticed my friend sounded really worried. He said that his mother wanted to talk to mine. He sounded desperate. I found my mother but she was very busy and asked if they would call back later. I told my friend of the situation and asked if that was alright. There was a pause on the other end of the line then he said that would be fine. I told him how good it was to talk to him and he said the same. But then he had to go. We both hung up.
I have never heard from him or his sister again.
To this day, it still haunts me.
I think something terrible must have happened and their mother was asking for my family's help. But we weren't there for them when they needed us. I don't know. I just don't know.
I've had nightmare about it ever since. And I don't remember my dream often...
Sometimes I dream that they live nearby but I can't find their house. In other dreams, I see them but can't reach them or they ignore me. Very creepy that something would effect me like this, but it does.
Anyway, when I was in junior high (I believe) I wrote this poem about these to friends of mine. I just found it tonight, and would like to write it down. I'm feeling very nostalgic right now, so I'll write it down, then I'm going to bed.
Do you Remember
Do you remember the time we first met?
On the old rickety bus, small and rust covered
Jess, your boisterous attitude and
eagerness for competition
Steve, your quite and easy nature
Little did we realize until afterward
after the dirt roads
And after the test through those sad times
and the joyful ones
Like an hourglass that slowly became full
We all had to adjust to the unfamiliarity
Now it's fading like words worn on a
piece of paper...
Remember
What was your favorite color again?
Do you remember the reds, oranges, and
golds of the falling leaves
Climbing the ski mountain while chasing
the fog
Going to school, strengthening friendships,
like a rod they will never break
And racing in the rolling hills and
through the tall grasses
Remember
Who was your favorite artist again?
Do you remember sledding down, down, down
through the flying snow and mud
later facing our mothers wrath
at our carelessness
But we didn't care
we were soaring
beyond the clouds and space
Because it was just the three of us
the best of friends
Remember
Where were you going again?
Do you remember our goodbyes
our last laughs and conversations
the presents and advice
it went by so quickly
like a cube of ice
melting under the suns burning gaze
Remember
Our last embrace as the snow began to fall
Covering what used to be your home
Remember the promises we kept
They are still anchored deep in my heart
Remember we will see each other again
If that is your only recollection of our past
that will be enough.
Do you ever get that feeling of having too much of something and you just need a break from it?
Yeah...I'm kinda feeling like that at the moment. Whenever I think about this thing...I just feel sick and try to change my focus elsewhere. I do think it's natural at this point. After all, I've spent a lot of time on it for the last little while. I feel like if I spend any more time on it I'll just be forcing it down my own throat unwillingly. Maybe it's time to move on? I think this might be a sign... Bah, I'm just rambling about stuff that I'm not entirely sure about, so if anyone just so happens to be reading this, I'm sorry.
Yeah, other things keep surfacing in my mind at the moment.
I miss two people who have been very important in my life. It's funny that I haven't seen them for over 8 years, but they still have a dear place in my heart. Unfortunately, we kinda left on bad terms, (for reasons I won't divulge into) even though we were the best of friends. They moved a week before I did and we promised we would stay in touch. I moved to my new home and didn't hear any news from them for a long time. I started to worry. I know they had a pretty good reason to move, but I didn't think it would keep them from contacting me. Eventually, months later, I got a called from one of them.
I was so excited! But I noticed my friend sounded really worried. He said that his mother wanted to talk to mine. He sounded desperate. I found my mother but she was very busy and asked if they would call back later. I told my friend of the situation and asked if that was alright. There was a pause on the other end of the line then he said that would be fine. I told him how good it was to talk to him and he said the same. But then he had to go. We both hung up.
I have never heard from him or his sister again.
To this day, it still haunts me.
I think something terrible must have happened and their mother was asking for my family's help. But we weren't there for them when they needed us. I don't know. I just don't know.
I've had nightmare about it ever since. And I don't remember my dream often...
Sometimes I dream that they live nearby but I can't find their house. In other dreams, I see them but can't reach them or they ignore me. Very creepy that something would effect me like this, but it does.
Anyway, when I was in junior high (I believe) I wrote this poem about these to friends of mine. I just found it tonight, and would like to write it down. I'm feeling very nostalgic right now, so I'll write it down, then I'm going to bed.
Do you Remember
Do you remember the time we first met?
On the old rickety bus, small and rust covered
Jess, your boisterous attitude and
eagerness for competition
Steve, your quite and easy nature
Little did we realize until afterward
after the dirt roads
And after the test through those sad times
and the joyful ones
Like an hourglass that slowly became full
We all had to adjust to the unfamiliarity
Now it's fading like words worn on a
piece of paper...
Remember
What was your favorite color again?
Do you remember the reds, oranges, and
golds of the falling leaves
Climbing the ski mountain while chasing
the fog
Going to school, strengthening friendships,
like a rod they will never break
And racing in the rolling hills and
through the tall grasses
Remember
Who was your favorite artist again?
Do you remember sledding down, down, down
through the flying snow and mud
later facing our mothers wrath
at our carelessness
But we didn't care
we were soaring
beyond the clouds and space
Because it was just the three of us
the best of friends
Remember
Where were you going again?
Do you remember our goodbyes
our last laughs and conversations
the presents and advice
it went by so quickly
like a cube of ice
melting under the suns burning gaze
Remember
Our last embrace as the snow began to fall
Covering what used to be your home
Remember the promises we kept
They are still anchored deep in my heart
Remember we will see each other again
If that is your only recollection of our past
that will be enough.