manganinnie
tomorrow i turn 33. this weekend i thought about manganinnie. when i was a kid, we had a cat named manganinnie. when i asked what her name meant, my mom said in an ancient tribe, the "manganinnies" were the "carriers of fire". 33 was the age when my mother had me.
randy and others have talked about the feeling of stepping into a new role when a parent dies. i am still a daughter, but no longer a "daddy's girl". this was the first time i drove down without family, instead i brought my friends. and it brought up so many memories of the fun road trips we took down there together. like the twins 30 birthday and dad suggested we bring super soakers. or when dad taught me to drive at the age of twelve on the road down there. the simple nights of keeping our tortillas safe while sleeping in a trailer. or riding the horses together, and trusting their hooves on the many rocks up the mountain to see mexico.
given that i'd gotten a hold of antiques roadshow tickets (thanks, kim!), were going south already, and it's my birthday tomorrow, i invited some people to show this to.
we left saturday morning. amy, gordon, and jiim came along. priorities: el charro, antiques roadshow, the ranch.
el charro:
el charro downtown is one of the oldest mexican restaurants in the country. it's an old house. and my grandfather was cousins with carlotta, of the famous carne seca platter. as a kid with him, there was no saturday night wait for us. the carne seca dried on the roof is the only thing to get in my opinion. it felt good to watch my friends enjoy this.
antiques roadshow:
there was a chance of extra tickets fell through, so just it was just amy & me. once we get down to the main waiting level, josh sees me and runs over. which was a godsend because they were at the front of the 2pm entry line. we had 2pm tickets too, so we just "chat n' cut" our way in.
if we hadn't seen him or had a later entry time, it would have been impossible to get to the ranch before dark. there was an electrical fire at the tucson convention center. so after the hallway line, they moved our part of the line first. then other, then the entire 2 & 3pm lines. we were in a big conference room. after some waiting, we were informed of this fire and the delays it caused. they were going to stay as late as needed to see everyone. i thought they handled it as well as it could from my perspective.
but soon after, we went in. there was another big waiting area (disney-style area) where you start to understand the logistics.
there were rules:
* no photography inside unless special permission
* no weapons
* no paper stock certifications
* no stamps or coins
* no engaging in the buying/selling of things
* in the feedback booth, you must say antiques roadshow. not "antique"
this was finally the line to show your things and receive two tickets to two types of booths. the line was long. it was boring. you couldn't quite see the set. and no former-singled out hosts anywhere. yawn.
it took me forever to figure out what to bring. i wanted to bring a piece of history with me. of my family's history in the region. unfortunately i didn't have anything like that handy. so the first choice was obvious. lunchbox collection. but that's a lot to carry and frankly the antiques roadshow people have said lunchboxes collectors are the weirdest.
i considered this original board suez canal fighter-paper game with all the pieces in tact. but i can look that up on ebay. so i brought my blue suede hippie looking jacket & a ring from pandora.
the first item, my jacket. i knew it was blue suede, real leather, but the fur is not. they sold it as rabbit fur, but it doesn't feel like it. either way, it's a beautiful coat and i don't care.
i went to the "rugs & textiles" stand. there was one guy in front of me with a rug. we were standing at a taped line, guarded by a woman. the show was like one circle of booths you could enter as though it were a fighting arena.
lo and behold, josh is in front of me at the same booth. i guess the guy i was seeing also appraised the same thing for him. my jacket is worth a fourth of what it would be. if it had been real fur, it would have been worth more. i have torn the shoulder and arm areas from dancing. but he gave me some tips on repair. he asked me to do a "turn" to see the back, he loved the style. said it was 70s.
after that, i met amy in the jewelry line. we both had rings to bring. she went first and her stone was not what she was told it had been. but it's very pretty. she ran off to a woman who was holding her a place in line for "decorative arts" for a jewelry chest.
my ring from pandora means a lot to me. i was the last girl in my dorm to get her period. it was a hard day. pandora threw me a goddess ceremony in the words, gave me a black feather, and a ring. this was in 1997.
the way i remember it, her mother had done some work for someone rich and was given the ring. but 18 years later, i hadn't really thought to ever ask. i expected it had SOME monetary value. it does. 14k, real diamond. and i got to see one of the more famous jewelry guys. recognized him right away. dresses like he should be in wall street.
but it was really great to remember that time with pandora, walking barefoot on fence posts and late-night cirque du soleil dances. that she wanted to share her fire with me. being at boarding school at 14 can be a lonely place. but i was fortunate that this venice goddess invited me to a pool party at the start of the semester and lived in my dorm. for our age, she was the one with the fire. she has always had a nurturing nature, but her presence was just the fire i needed then. she helped make those silent nights in the forest a fantastical home for us. she shielded me in her bed from my first and only earthquake as a lamp fell out of the closet. time has stretched us further from that, but not in my minds eye.
i also asked him about a ring randy had given me for our first christmas. i never asked or looked it up. it's two cultured pearls on a gold band. whether he thought about the astrology & cute part of this, pearls are a june birthstone we both share. i wish i could have shard that news.
anyways, after that i saw where amy was in line, went to the restroom, and waited at the feedback booth. it's really a booth/tent, it's not a part of the exit. you volunteer and sign a release.
i filled out one for each of us and waited. she was next in line for "decorative arts" and it took like 10-20 minutes to get seen. i think the electrical fire really created some problems. the guy kinda rushed amy i think. she brought in something of like her great-grandmothers, but they said it was probably created in 1994 which wouldn't be possible. but why argue, they had enough on their plate.
of course, i wanted to ham it up for feedback booth. we sang the first verse of "you say it's your birthday" and thanks "antiques roadshow!". and showed our items, as "suggested" :)
the ranch
after that, gordon & jim picked us up. we went to safeway to get snacks before heading south. you could feel your skin crisp; summer is here.
the drive south is always pretty. we got there just at the end of dusk, so still some light thankfully. we followed the written directions (given the terrain), and found the ranch house. my aunt & uncle showed us great kindness with a bottle of wine from the "kiwi" part of the world, and four glasses. they also left a sweet card. it was nice to be in a place filled with only good memories.
we got the lay of the land after trying many odd latches. turns out the house was built on site in the 30s. everything, built right there. although the old white kitchen now has a silver fridgidaire. in the corner stood an ice box. my father never lived in that house, but always called the fridge the "ice-box". we ate some food, toasted drinks, and headed for the courtyard.
though the courtyard is nice, the roof is where it's at. the four of us told stories, enjoyed the sounds of the animals, and looked plainly at the big dipper and almost full moon. "don gato", as i called her, laid and played with us.
it was peace. feeling open in nature calms the heart. and i was bridging the gap between being my dad's traveling companion, to my friends being my traveling companions. i understand the problems with arizona politics. but i came from this land, just like many before me. i've spent many weekend trips with my relatives down on the border up through lake powell. this is a beautiful, unique land that people come from all parts of the world to see. and i am of it. which means i will always be of it. it's nice to be the guide here. i love being of this land.
we played some rummy and went to bed. i slept much longer, but the prior day was exhausting. gordon took pictures at sunrise and went back to sleep. gordon got to meet my cousin, but he was gone by the time i woke up. amy & jim took a walk and found the burros. i woke up, drowned a bathtub-bug that resembled a scoprion, took a shower, and walked around the property a bit. took some pictures. listened to the animals. oh, and tried to interpret a few don gato mews.
my aunt and uncle showed up to take us to breakfast. i had been trying to remember a place dad took me nearby. i think this was after my aunt, his sister's, birthday party. he had seen someone from the days of our tribe knowing everyone. they served machaca.
well that's where they took us, las truankas. i was the first person to leave a review on yelp, or actually a "tip". i do that to remember where these places are.
i sometimes joke that my aunt & uncle are like that beer commercial, "the most interesting people in the world". but i had some of my interesting friends with me, so great conversation was shared. the tortillas on their burritos are always amazing. i even liked the flan which isn't a favorite for me. and we decided that if the poles moved places tomorrow, we would survive today.
we said our goodbyes and drove home. i finally had the time to just stare at the moving landscape. the familiar deserts & mountains the fluffy clouds. i missed going down there. i missed having everyone together. but i realized i still can.
there is a quote i keep on the outside of my cube that says:
"education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire"
when i think back to my days in legally-required school, most knowledge i recall comes not from the countless hours in the classroom, but from being a part of community activities. doing whatever odd jobs were required to keep us in the practice of acting and singing on stage. the need to do something came from a fire inside me and inspired me to complete whatever task was asked of me.
i enjoy community and family. my community is my family. people arrive, and people leave, but it stretches across time. i am now ready to carry the fire forward. to share joy with whoever my community is and becomes. and i will complete whatever task is in front of me.
randy and others have talked about the feeling of stepping into a new role when a parent dies. i am still a daughter, but no longer a "daddy's girl". this was the first time i drove down without family, instead i brought my friends. and it brought up so many memories of the fun road trips we took down there together. like the twins 30 birthday and dad suggested we bring super soakers. or when dad taught me to drive at the age of twelve on the road down there. the simple nights of keeping our tortillas safe while sleeping in a trailer. or riding the horses together, and trusting their hooves on the many rocks up the mountain to see mexico.
given that i'd gotten a hold of antiques roadshow tickets (thanks, kim!), were going south already, and it's my birthday tomorrow, i invited some people to show this to.
we left saturday morning. amy, gordon, and jiim came along. priorities: el charro, antiques roadshow, the ranch.
el charro:
el charro downtown is one of the oldest mexican restaurants in the country. it's an old house. and my grandfather was cousins with carlotta, of the famous carne seca platter. as a kid with him, there was no saturday night wait for us. the carne seca dried on the roof is the only thing to get in my opinion. it felt good to watch my friends enjoy this.
antiques roadshow:
there was a chance of extra tickets fell through, so just it was just amy & me. once we get down to the main waiting level, josh sees me and runs over. which was a godsend because they were at the front of the 2pm entry line. we had 2pm tickets too, so we just "chat n' cut" our way in.
if we hadn't seen him or had a later entry time, it would have been impossible to get to the ranch before dark. there was an electrical fire at the tucson convention center. so after the hallway line, they moved our part of the line first. then other, then the entire 2 & 3pm lines. we were in a big conference room. after some waiting, we were informed of this fire and the delays it caused. they were going to stay as late as needed to see everyone. i thought they handled it as well as it could from my perspective.
but soon after, we went in. there was another big waiting area (disney-style area) where you start to understand the logistics.
there were rules:
* no photography inside unless special permission
* no weapons
* no paper stock certifications
* no stamps or coins
* no engaging in the buying/selling of things
* in the feedback booth, you must say antiques roadshow. not "antique"
this was finally the line to show your things and receive two tickets to two types of booths. the line was long. it was boring. you couldn't quite see the set. and no former-singled out hosts anywhere. yawn.
it took me forever to figure out what to bring. i wanted to bring a piece of history with me. of my family's history in the region. unfortunately i didn't have anything like that handy. so the first choice was obvious. lunchbox collection. but that's a lot to carry and frankly the antiques roadshow people have said lunchboxes collectors are the weirdest.
i considered this original board suez canal fighter-paper game with all the pieces in tact. but i can look that up on ebay. so i brought my blue suede hippie looking jacket & a ring from pandora.
the first item, my jacket. i knew it was blue suede, real leather, but the fur is not. they sold it as rabbit fur, but it doesn't feel like it. either way, it's a beautiful coat and i don't care.
i went to the "rugs & textiles" stand. there was one guy in front of me with a rug. we were standing at a taped line, guarded by a woman. the show was like one circle of booths you could enter as though it were a fighting arena.
lo and behold, josh is in front of me at the same booth. i guess the guy i was seeing also appraised the same thing for him. my jacket is worth a fourth of what it would be. if it had been real fur, it would have been worth more. i have torn the shoulder and arm areas from dancing. but he gave me some tips on repair. he asked me to do a "turn" to see the back, he loved the style. said it was 70s.
after that, i met amy in the jewelry line. we both had rings to bring. she went first and her stone was not what she was told it had been. but it's very pretty. she ran off to a woman who was holding her a place in line for "decorative arts" for a jewelry chest.
my ring from pandora means a lot to me. i was the last girl in my dorm to get her period. it was a hard day. pandora threw me a goddess ceremony in the words, gave me a black feather, and a ring. this was in 1997.
the way i remember it, her mother had done some work for someone rich and was given the ring. but 18 years later, i hadn't really thought to ever ask. i expected it had SOME monetary value. it does. 14k, real diamond. and i got to see one of the more famous jewelry guys. recognized him right away. dresses like he should be in wall street.
but it was really great to remember that time with pandora, walking barefoot on fence posts and late-night cirque du soleil dances. that she wanted to share her fire with me. being at boarding school at 14 can be a lonely place. but i was fortunate that this venice goddess invited me to a pool party at the start of the semester and lived in my dorm. for our age, she was the one with the fire. she has always had a nurturing nature, but her presence was just the fire i needed then. she helped make those silent nights in the forest a fantastical home for us. she shielded me in her bed from my first and only earthquake as a lamp fell out of the closet. time has stretched us further from that, but not in my minds eye.
i also asked him about a ring randy had given me for our first christmas. i never asked or looked it up. it's two cultured pearls on a gold band. whether he thought about the astrology & cute part of this, pearls are a june birthstone we both share. i wish i could have shard that news.
anyways, after that i saw where amy was in line, went to the restroom, and waited at the feedback booth. it's really a booth/tent, it's not a part of the exit. you volunteer and sign a release.
i filled out one for each of us and waited. she was next in line for "decorative arts" and it took like 10-20 minutes to get seen. i think the electrical fire really created some problems. the guy kinda rushed amy i think. she brought in something of like her great-grandmothers, but they said it was probably created in 1994 which wouldn't be possible. but why argue, they had enough on their plate.
of course, i wanted to ham it up for feedback booth. we sang the first verse of "you say it's your birthday" and thanks "antiques roadshow!". and showed our items, as "suggested" :)
the ranch
after that, gordon & jim picked us up. we went to safeway to get snacks before heading south. you could feel your skin crisp; summer is here.
the drive south is always pretty. we got there just at the end of dusk, so still some light thankfully. we followed the written directions (given the terrain), and found the ranch house. my aunt & uncle showed us great kindness with a bottle of wine from the "kiwi" part of the world, and four glasses. they also left a sweet card. it was nice to be in a place filled with only good memories.
we got the lay of the land after trying many odd latches. turns out the house was built on site in the 30s. everything, built right there. although the old white kitchen now has a silver fridgidaire. in the corner stood an ice box. my father never lived in that house, but always called the fridge the "ice-box". we ate some food, toasted drinks, and headed for the courtyard.
though the courtyard is nice, the roof is where it's at. the four of us told stories, enjoyed the sounds of the animals, and looked plainly at the big dipper and almost full moon. "don gato", as i called her, laid and played with us.
it was peace. feeling open in nature calms the heart. and i was bridging the gap between being my dad's traveling companion, to my friends being my traveling companions. i understand the problems with arizona politics. but i came from this land, just like many before me. i've spent many weekend trips with my relatives down on the border up through lake powell. this is a beautiful, unique land that people come from all parts of the world to see. and i am of it. which means i will always be of it. it's nice to be the guide here. i love being of this land.
we played some rummy and went to bed. i slept much longer, but the prior day was exhausting. gordon took pictures at sunrise and went back to sleep. gordon got to meet my cousin, but he was gone by the time i woke up. amy & jim took a walk and found the burros. i woke up, drowned a bathtub-bug that resembled a scoprion, took a shower, and walked around the property a bit. took some pictures. listened to the animals. oh, and tried to interpret a few don gato mews.
my aunt and uncle showed up to take us to breakfast. i had been trying to remember a place dad took me nearby. i think this was after my aunt, his sister's, birthday party. he had seen someone from the days of our tribe knowing everyone. they served machaca.
well that's where they took us, las truankas. i was the first person to leave a review on yelp, or actually a "tip". i do that to remember where these places are.
i sometimes joke that my aunt & uncle are like that beer commercial, "the most interesting people in the world". but i had some of my interesting friends with me, so great conversation was shared. the tortillas on their burritos are always amazing. i even liked the flan which isn't a favorite for me. and we decided that if the poles moved places tomorrow, we would survive today.
we said our goodbyes and drove home. i finally had the time to just stare at the moving landscape. the familiar deserts & mountains the fluffy clouds. i missed going down there. i missed having everyone together. but i realized i still can.
there is a quote i keep on the outside of my cube that says:
"education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire"
when i think back to my days in legally-required school, most knowledge i recall comes not from the countless hours in the classroom, but from being a part of community activities. doing whatever odd jobs were required to keep us in the practice of acting and singing on stage. the need to do something came from a fire inside me and inspired me to complete whatever task was asked of me.
i enjoy community and family. my community is my family. people arrive, and people leave, but it stretches across time. i am now ready to carry the fire forward. to share joy with whoever my community is and becomes. and i will complete whatever task is in front of me.