READY... SET... SUCK IT
I can't take it anymore! I think the reason I have been single for 5 and a half years is because dating someone is an unyielding circus of shit. Plus I get to do what I want- when I want- and sit wherever the fuck I feel like in movie theaters. Although, I do these things alone. Yes, it's true... Being single has its ups and downs. Everybody knows that. But I think that being alone for so long has stunted my relationship growth. And I'll tell you why:
1. I am set into my ways like a woman over seventy. I like my rountine in a way that I find myself turning down two very good offers to go to parties last Friday night because... I looked into the future and saw myself at either of these parties and concluded that neither would be spectacularly fun in any sense. I would be standing around talking to the two people I knew (at either party) a slowly nursing cheap beer and waiting until I stayed long enough to look polite and then going home. So I realized I just wanted to stay at home anyway. Which I did. Alone, watching tv and falling asleep around 10:30 which I concluded was a more enjoyable night than going out.
2. I'm not so good in realtionships. I am a much better friend than girlfriend. Ask everybody in Savannah. I was the cool girl. The girl in the group full of guys. I was not datable but I was best friend materiel. You can put your head on my lap when your drunk but as far as any other sort of body contact- no dice. This comfort level with boys is nice and anything above this makes me feel queesy and stupid. And as much as I wanted to like Derrick I couldn't help but think as we were making out, "this is stupid. I feel stupid."
3. I am not ashamed that I am still a virgin. However, whenever I meet anyone it becomes this enormous BIG DEAL. Ohhh don't wanna get involved with her... too much work... too much expectation... no sex right away in that dumbass twentysomething way. And because of this- I feel that I must remain alone until I become a joke and they make a movie out of me. Or I should just resolve myself to no sex before marriage so people will be able to comprehend why a 25 year old is still a virgin. They are baffeled as it is explained now. I am so pissed Ambrose didn't come up for the con because I was pretty resolved to have sex with him. Just get it over with with one of my best friends so it wouln't be weird or retarded after and then I wouldn't have to have "the talk" which destroys a man's interest in me within 5 seconds.
I am in the worst mood ever.
1. I am set into my ways like a woman over seventy. I like my rountine in a way that I find myself turning down two very good offers to go to parties last Friday night because... I looked into the future and saw myself at either of these parties and concluded that neither would be spectacularly fun in any sense. I would be standing around talking to the two people I knew (at either party) a slowly nursing cheap beer and waiting until I stayed long enough to look polite and then going home. So I realized I just wanted to stay at home anyway. Which I did. Alone, watching tv and falling asleep around 10:30 which I concluded was a more enjoyable night than going out.
2. I'm not so good in realtionships. I am a much better friend than girlfriend. Ask everybody in Savannah. I was the cool girl. The girl in the group full of guys. I was not datable but I was best friend materiel. You can put your head on my lap when your drunk but as far as any other sort of body contact- no dice. This comfort level with boys is nice and anything above this makes me feel queesy and stupid. And as much as I wanted to like Derrick I couldn't help but think as we were making out, "this is stupid. I feel stupid."
3. I am not ashamed that I am still a virgin. However, whenever I meet anyone it becomes this enormous BIG DEAL. Ohhh don't wanna get involved with her... too much work... too much expectation... no sex right away in that dumbass twentysomething way. And because of this- I feel that I must remain alone until I become a joke and they make a movie out of me. Or I should just resolve myself to no sex before marriage so people will be able to comprehend why a 25 year old is still a virgin. They are baffeled as it is explained now. I am so pissed Ambrose didn't come up for the con because I was pretty resolved to have sex with him. Just get it over with with one of my best friends so it wouln't be weird or retarded after and then I wouldn't have to have "the talk" which destroys a man's interest in me within 5 seconds.
I am in the worst mood ever.