hey jealousy.
In conclusion, reader, and in spite of it all I can tell you
from the bottom of my heart, it's better to have loved and
lost than to have never loved at all. As bitter sweet as it
may be, I know for a fact the Corinthian's quote to be true
Even when that which stabilizes your love in all of it's
ardor is cast aside or swept away the experiences and the
feelings will always be resolute and with those you can pave
something different for yourself, it might not be what you're
used to and by comparison it will never be the same, (Life
doesn't give you blessings in a straight line.) but it will
still hold province for you and it will ground you in unfor-
seeable and sometimes even unaccepted and unexpected ways.
I'm just a writer, not a very established one no less but
life is something I know, so is loss, and the rebirth of
everything in between. If you can take nothing else with you
on your journeys today, take the finite knowledge that you
can still be surprised, you can still be vindicated and no
force... unseen or unknowing; malignant or friendly can
thwart it or take it away from you.
- James Novak (tri-weekly retrospect column USA TRIBUNE)
"Really? I think it's lacking," Jimmy replied to his newly assigned editor after she returned with a cup of the piping hot tea that she had just finished preparing. In all honesty Jimmy didn't need her around, it just further pressed the weight on his shoulders for deadlines. That article had already been reproduced in mass. Dean had probably already gotten a hold of a copy, but Janelle was supposed to over see him as the company was beginning to question the timely manner in which he put forward the articles requested or the responses to those few that wrote him seeking guidance for other things.
Janelle or Jane as she preferred to be addressed by appeared very much like the girl next door. She'd gone through university with the highest grades in all of her English courses and seemed to very much rival the opposing news press companies executive editor with which there was much conflict. To Jimmy, though, she was a looming presence that cast a shadow over the enjoyment he received from writing and made him take it seriously, like he had accounting and sale's for the radio. She made everything feel all too familiar from his past, something he'd been trying to separate from his reality in the article they were looking over as she spoke so curtly about management's review.
"I really think that the piece deserved the publicity it got," she said while offering him a kind smile. Jimmy cautiously returned the sentiment before burying his mouth into the circumference of the tea cup."You side stepped the issues which might cause country wide readers to cringe or shy away from the article and focused more on meaning and the tangible truths, it's good, it's a standard for these kind of articles. Reveal enough without revealing too much."
Side stepping issues and not revealing enough had nothing to do with article protocol but his own choices and his own privacy, which he needed, because without it he'd have to stare his sins and baggage in the face. "If I did right by it I guess that's all that matters, excuse me..." Jimmy moved into the kitchen to mix some sugar into the tea she made, it was a little bitter and if she wasn't a work associate he'd probably be taking one of Dean's beers out of the fridge. He'd gotten over the vanity and chauvinism he'd had when he was a house husband. Merlot and the best cut steaks and potatoes didn't sate him anymore and truthfully he'd hid behind them while his marriage had been failing. Now the bare minimum and rough concepts were what made him feel alive, gave him strength within himself.
Still, he managed a surly sigh as he brought the mug back to his lips in time to enter the living room and watch Jane kick off her shoes to get more comfortable. "Is there something we have left to do?" He speculated. He found her getting comfortable a little uncomfortable. She was young the concept of social etiquette and boundaries were probably new to her still, it may have even been his own paranoia and distancing personality but it was a trigger he didn't like that she was feeling so welcome in a house that was at the very least a forty-five minute drive from her own. It spoke things he didn't want to address.