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call_a_lily August 23 2007, 01:14:20 UTC
Andy-

My best advice is to generally avoid electronic things, or at least practice a REALLY GOOD poker face. For example: there is a lovely thing called a toaster, and you stick bread in it and it generally comes out nice and toasted, or burnt (sometimes these things do not work v. well). Do not yell into a telephone (a device muggles use to talk to each other when they are in different houses, only you can't see each other, only hear).

I mean "the ways of the muggles" is pretty all-encompassing. Specific questions may of course be directed to me. I'll be in Devonshire with the Potters and your beloved havoc-causing cousin.

Good luck!

Lily

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chained_maid August 23 2007, 01:16:34 UTC
Lily,

Don't let Sirius drink eggnog. He gets notoriously drunk on the stuff. He seems to love it for some reason. Always has. He causes worse havoc after drinking it than usual.

Anything I need to know specific to Christmas day? I'm spending it with him and his family....

Andy

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call_a_lily August 23 2007, 14:53:20 UTC
Andy--

Too late, he's already drunkenly egged half the houses in Britain. I suspect I shall have to sober him up every once in a while, but other than that I'm quite afraid it's hopeless.

If Ted has younger siblings, they may believe in Father Christmas still, so don't spoil that for them. You'll open presents and enjoy each other's company, although you may gather 'round the television to watch Channel 4's The Snowman. You may also sit around the radio (rather like the wireless?) and listen to Christmas carols. Hum along a bit if everyone else seems to and pretend you're tone deaf even though we both know you have a lovely voice.

Other than that I don't think there are any strange muggle customs. Just don't drink too much eggnog and accidentally set anything on fire.

Hope I was helpful!

~Lily

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chained_maid August 23 2007, 14:59:14 UTC
Lily,

Wonderful. Typical Sirius. Don't let him go more than 2 days without sobering him...

He's an only child so all should be fine. I guess it just a wait and see what happens type thing then...wonderful.

Thanks,

Andy

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call_a_lily August 23 2007, 17:01:23 UTC
Andy,

Don't worry. I'll also try to make sure he doesn't break any bones or cause too much damage to the ginger he's kidnapped.

Just use the poker face thing. Pretend you know what's going on, and you can always send me an emergency owl if things look grim.

You're welcome,

Lily

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chained_maid August 23 2007, 17:11:34 UTC
Lily.

HE KIDNAPPED SOMEONE? MERLIN HELP ME.

Excellent...

Andy

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call_a_lily August 23 2007, 17:17:47 UTC
Andy,

Yes. He's apparently kidnapped a ginger named "Billy." I am praying to God in Heaven that it is not a certain ginger name Bill Weasley, as I think Sirius would be killed by Molly. Or the Prewett brothers. It depends entirely on who gets there first.

Hope you enjoy yourself at Ted's. Oh, and if muggle sports are involved, such as football or rugby, admit that you don't know how to play. Or if you're forced to watch a game on the telly, be forewarned that this can be base torture. Men get all into it. Pretend you know the rules and just watch them for when to cheer/act outraged/swear at the referee/etc.

Hope everything is well at your new flat.

Lily

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chained_maid August 23 2007, 21:26:26 UTC
Lily,

I hope for everyone's sakes it's not Molly's kid either...

Are there usually games on at Christmas?

It's wonderful. Painting was squiffy, but all fixed.

Andy

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call_a_lily August 24 2007, 00:02:32 UTC
Andy,

I am terrified that it is. The child certainly does seem to fit the description.

I have no idea. The minute my father sits down at the telly I head in the opposite direction.

Glad everything is well and I hope your Christmas is lovely.

~Lily

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chained_maid August 24 2007, 00:04:39 UTC
Lily,

It is. He just told me. Don't let Molly or Fabigid kill him please.

Andy

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call_a_lily August 24 2007, 00:13:30 UTC
Andy,

I've suggested that they compose their wills, as I am in no doubt of their imminent demise by enraged gingers. I will do my best, but these are, as we know, the Prewett brothers and they are very persuasive. Perhaps if we sneak little William back to his parents' house?

Very Concerned, though.

Lils

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chained_maid August 24 2007, 00:16:15 UTC
Lily,

They'll get out of it I'm sure. Though, it may be best to sneak him away during the night. Why are men not sensible?

Same.

Andy

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call_a_lily August 24 2007, 00:18:29 UTC
Andy,

James was apparently unaware they had kidnapped a Weasley, or as they so charmingly put it, a "Weasle." Nutters, both of 'em.

I think if men were sensible, they would no longer be men. They would be women. Soon we shall become so much more intelligent and developed that we shall just keep men as our sex toys.

Still worried, and slightly deafer given James' reaction.

~Lils

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chained_maid August 24 2007, 00:21:59 UTC
Lily,

Oh lovely. My cousin and your boyfriend are going to be murdered by ginger Hufflepuffs.

Yes, I already use mine like that though, he's useless at conversation.

Now hoping Sirius left her something in his will

Andy

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call_a_lily August 24 2007, 00:24:52 UTC
Andy,

Maybe if they return him under cover of darkness with a brand new cookbook endorsed by some outrageously good-looking celebrity, they'll only be ritualistically castrated....

James is witty enough to keep around for more than just the sex.

I think James left me everything. I WIN.

~Lils

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chained_maid August 24 2007, 00:26:57 UTC
Lily,

Get Padfoot to take him back. Charm him to say he was camping and found the dog etc...cover story.

Ted's wonderful to look at, but he's a Hufflepuff...he's still amused by badgers and Snape!rape.

Hm. Well done. What about his parents?

Andy

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