Journal

[chained2u2]

 
GratitudeI am grateful for jump rings.  They work so nicely for jewelry and chain mail.  I want to learn how to do chain mail better but my fake nails get in the way.  I will just have to admire it from afar.PhysicalI did some of the hygiene stuff, shower, meds, some makeup, didn’t do hair.  My knee is absolutely killing me and I will need to walk

Comments

[softngentle]

I was celibate for 18+ yrs and it was easy until yr 17. The keys were I was very busy in my vocation, which has always been more than a job for me, I was very busy at home with my family so there was really no time for any kind of relationship outside those two arenas and the last thing was I new I was loved and had never equated sex with love. I believe that was because of my overdrive sex life from ages 14-27. I must say that celibacy was partially because of spiritual beliefs and yet mostly for myself and by that I mean I was tired of being used by men like a jack off toy. I wanted to be loved and from experience new that love comes from a relationship built on loyalty and friendship not sex. When I finally came across some men that I felt could have long term potential I started dating again. I wish J realized that there are people who care about him even if they are interested in him sexually. Touch is so important w/o sex as en expression of affection.

I found your comment on fear of having no reason to stay with Mark and then wanting not to rely on him or someone else for love interesting. Why can't you keep a place of your own w/o a husband or partner? (that is not an answer I need, but one I think you need to find for yourself)

I totally get the whole not more than 3 girls in his stable thing.

You are an amazing woman, you are worth so much and I hope you find what you need without settling.