018 [voice]

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[House 47, you just got a most unpleasant wake-up call. Namely, loud banging and the whining of a terrified canine. Sigmund has just kicked Capell's door with all of his considerable strength and put his fist through the wall in the hallway

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[vermified]

[Edward doesn't need the journal entry to know that something's wrong; he rushes right over to check on Sigmund. And, of course, he finds Sigmund, an empty room, and a hole in the wall. Doesn't take even a smart person to figure out what happened.]

...My lord...

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[It will take Sigmund a bit to respond, and when he does, his voice is tight and wavering in a manner that surely Edward's never heard before.]

Gone. He's gone. [A deep, shaky breath.] You should...

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[Edward pauses, uncertain; there's a flurry of conflicting emotions that strike him all at once, but he hastily shoves them aside in favour of moving to Sigmund's side, resting a hand on his shoulder. His tone by itself would be reason enough to place Sigmund's state of mind before his own, even if he wasn't... well. Who he is.

He's sure that Capell is safer there, but that would be no comfort. Capell is in a place where Sigmund can't follow yet, and that, in Edward's opinion, is unacceptable.]

We'll find a way to join him, my lord. Both of us.

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[Sigmund shakes his head, although so slowly as to not be clear whether he's reacting to Edward's statement, or just... reacting.]

I still wanted to- [He cuts himself off, and swallows.] Edward, you should- [He stops again; but from the quaver at the last word, his meaning should be abundantly clear this time. 'You should go, or else you are going to see me cry.']

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...I'm not leaving your side, my lord.

[Well, he might if Sigmund ordered him, but at this point - and considering the situation - he may actually have to disobey. His grip is tight and immobile on Sigmund's arm.]

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[If Sigmund was in a better state of mind, he'd wonder if Edward expected this to be dignified. He's not. It isn't either.

There's a long silence, and then a soft, dry sob. And then another, and another, until they start to blend together. No tears, just a horrible breathless choke-gasping. Every so often, Sigmund jerks on his arm to try and pull it out of Edward's grasp, although not with anything near the strength that put a hole in their plaster. It's going to be a while before he has that much fight in him again.]

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[It's strange, to see Sigmund like this- but at the same time, Edward feels a surreal sort of calm, blanketing his own fears and concerns about Capell's return to their world. Will he be safe? Will he be with the others? Just what is he returning to? He forces those thoughts aside, though, his main concern being Sigmund, as it always is. Sigmund, who is experiencing the sort of loss very few can know and understand.

Edward knows. He understands. He's felt that crushing loss before, and not - he can indulgently believe - the same way that any of the Liberation Force that day in Vesplume Tower could understand, save Eugene. The loss of someone so precious, so critical to his very existence... it's heartbreaking. It can ruin you if you're not strong enough to work through it.

He has faith in Sigmund's strength, but... that doesn't mean that support isn't needed. So he sits with Sigmund, his hand steady and posture supportive, ready to give his lord whatever he needs, even if all he needs is silent company.]

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[What hurts Sigmund the most is that this is the second time he's lost Capell. It's the terrible gnawing emptiness of the eclipse all over again, except this time there is nowhere to run and no revenge to be had. But... his sobs finally abate and he is able to look at Edward again, with a strange mix of gratitude, shame, surprise, and weariness.

Because this is not the eclipse again. He is not alone.

Ironic, that the person to support him would be Edward. He slumps sideways, until Edward is literally supporting him as well, his eyes closed, his cheek resting against Edward's arm.]

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[The expression is surprising, but perhaps even moreso is when Sigmund leans on him. Edward doesn't move, though, besides his brows lifting a little, his fingers curling in the material of Sigmund's shirt. It isn't fair. He doesn't deserve to suffer through this loss again- he knows how much that first loss must have weighed on Sigmund for so long. And here, when they were finally together with the knowledge of being father and son... to take that from him is too cruel... and yet, they have. And they both have to live with it now.

He won't leave, then. He can't. Somehow he has to stay, for Lord Sigmund's state- to find a way to bring him home, where he belongs. To be with Capell again.

To be with all of them, like it should always have been.]

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When you... vermified- [Sigmund's voice is low and shaky. He's addressing Edward, but very well could be speaking to himself.] -It was Capell that saved me from myself. I don't know how to live without him. He's the one person fate won't let me have.

Capell will do fine without me. [Proud. Fierce. And yet... still weak and diminished.] I... I don't know.

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[Edward winces at the mention of the vermification, but he doesn't protest; Sigmund isn't intending to hurt, surely. And what follows is... more significant a comment. Edward is quiet for a moment longer, then shakes his head.]

My lord... Capell is strong. We both know that well. But surviving isn't enough. To be with one's father is always better than without. You... belong by his side. I know you do.

[He should be alive- they should all be back there, safe, alive, fighting alongside one another. If they've been given another chance here, shouldn't they take it?]

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[Sigmund matches Edward's silence with his own, for the moment just leaning, eyes downcast. Edward's shoulder is comfortable, solid and warm. Present. Dependable.]

You still want me to return? Undo things never meant to be undone?

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Perhaps it's selfish, but I do. [No hesitation there, no wavering; only resolve.] With your permission, my lord, I intent to bring you back with me when I leave this place. And I'll do my best not to fail you again.

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... Perhaps. [This is not the same 'perhaps' that was given the last time this matter came up, and it's readily evident.]

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[Edward isn't entirely sure of how to interpret that, but... it's not a dismissal, like he was expecting. It's a surprise, and a pleasant one at that.]

...Thank you, my lord.

["Perhaps" is better than "no". And it's half of a given permission, at that. Ed's going to take what he can get.]

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[Edward hasn't gotten even half the surprise yet.]

It may take months or years to find the means and employ them. [His mind is drifting back to his mission to cut all ties to Veros. Disappointment after disappointment, and all the time the uncertainty of whether such a thing could even be done. And here, unlike then...] And we are in a position of great disadvantage.

Many things could change between now and then. I won't make a promise I have no means of keeping. But... [If they're here that long. If the chance arises. If it is safe.]