shew
why do i chance things that could screw everything up for me?? what the hell...i fuck a lot of things up..especially lately. i dont regret anything i did but i have made some mistakes.
Mistakes ive made since the beginning of the year
I've made out with 3 other guys that had g/fs at the time.
why the hell did i do that?!
I've cut myself off from most of my family :'( i put my mom in the hospital for depression because i wouldnt tell her wat was goin on with me but i would tell my friends what was goin on & pretend like everything was fine when it wasnt. i blame my dad mostly for everything. my mom wouldnt be the way she is if it wasnt for him. she wouldnt have had me to deal with. sometimes i wonder if things would have been better if i hadnt have been born. mom said if she would have had Michaela first she wouldnt have had me...that makes me feel GREAT!!... not. If it wasnt for my dad i wouldnt have the problems i do today. he made me not like being around people & shy & quiet. He puts me down all the fucking time & makes me feel so bad.
It's hard telling what else ive screwed up but i no ive screwed up more
On a good part i have met an awesome guy that i actually like. hopefully he likes me back like he says he does & that he doesnt like me like the past guy liked me. i am tryin to trust him but its sorta hard. i no that not every guy is like that so hopefully ive met someone different. we can actually talk aobut other stuff instead of just sex. we get along pretty well & have a bunch in common.
i am past the mark of just saying fuck everything & try to start all over. i cant really think right now so maybe ill update again later.
Mistakes ive made since the beginning of the year
I've made out with 3 other guys that had g/fs at the time.
why the hell did i do that?!
I've cut myself off from most of my family :'( i put my mom in the hospital for depression because i wouldnt tell her wat was goin on with me but i would tell my friends what was goin on & pretend like everything was fine when it wasnt. i blame my dad mostly for everything. my mom wouldnt be the way she is if it wasnt for him. she wouldnt have had me to deal with. sometimes i wonder if things would have been better if i hadnt have been born. mom said if she would have had Michaela first she wouldnt have had me...that makes me feel GREAT!!... not. If it wasnt for my dad i wouldnt have the problems i do today. he made me not like being around people & shy & quiet. He puts me down all the fucking time & makes me feel so bad.
It's hard telling what else ive screwed up but i no ive screwed up more
On a good part i have met an awesome guy that i actually like. hopefully he likes me back like he says he does & that he doesnt like me like the past guy liked me. i am tryin to trust him but its sorta hard. i no that not every guy is like that so hopefully ive met someone different. we can actually talk aobut other stuff instead of just sex. we get along pretty well & have a bunch in common.
i am past the mark of just saying fuck everything & try to start all over. i cant really think right now so maybe ill update again later.