Sick!
I'm really sick, I coughed so much today. I wish they would have just taken my tonsils out last year when they said they would last year. Cleveland is absolutely miserable. It is void of anything worth doing. I could go to the mall, I could go to the movies, I could buy fried chicken from the nine different fried chicken places near my house. None of that is really fun. I want to feel alive. I had such a great weekend at Natasha's and now I am sick. There isn't anyone that I really see around school that is worth talking to. It would probably be easier if I lived at school. It is just so awkward moving somewhere and still living at home. I feel like an asshole for meeting people on line. I have wanted to paint for the LONGEST time but I can't find anything because the basement is so disorganized. It is boxes upon boxes, the movers broke my dresser and other various pieces of my furniture so I don't know where to put all of my stuff. I used to have no problem not being able to walk in my room but now there is just shit everywhere and I can't stand it.
I really don't mean to sound so whiny, but Cleveland is just a really miserable place. I really miss Jan. I feel like he is the only person that really gets me. Sure he is my boyfriend, but he is really my best friend. I feel so awful about everything. I feel like I have completely abandoned him. We talk on the phone a lot but it's not the same. I'm glad that he is always there for me, he always makes me feel better. It's also frustrating when I talk to people and they are all like, "oh! A long distance relationship? I could never make that work!" So obnoxious, they look at you like you're crazy and naive. I just want everything to make sense.
I really don't mean to sound so whiny, but Cleveland is just a really miserable place. I really miss Jan. I feel like he is the only person that really gets me. Sure he is my boyfriend, but he is really my best friend. I feel so awful about everything. I feel like I have completely abandoned him. We talk on the phone a lot but it's not the same. I'm glad that he is always there for me, he always makes me feel better. It's also frustrating when I talk to people and they are all like, "oh! A long distance relationship? I could never make that work!" So obnoxious, they look at you like you're crazy and naive. I just want everything to make sense.