How to Save a Prince 101 [one-shot]
AU!Fairytale | Humor | Attempted Crack | Bits of Horror | Romance | R | YunJae | Hints of MinSu
First, grab your sword and lucky horseshoe. Throw yourself shamelessly in front of the prince’s sight. It never hurts to advertise your body and charm your prince. Second, if the prince gets kidnapped by a demon, follow him to the end of the world. They love it when someone throws away their life for them. If you die along the way, then follow step three. Get a witch to cast a spell on you, rise up from the dead and save your prince like there’s no tomorrow. Good luck, munchkin!
Warning(s): Lots of cursing, and un-beta’ed
A/N: Inspired by BtoB’s “Thriller” MV.
“Prince Yunho, can you stop acting like a princess and jump over the damn water?” Changmin commented from afar, securing his hold onto his backpack and waiting for Yunho to cross the small puddle.
“I am not a princess!” Yunho defended. His voice shaking with fear as he stretched his right leg slowly over the small puddle, careful to feel the other side of the muddy ground under his feet as he moved cautiously. His left hard gripped onto a stray branch for balance until he shifted his weight and made it across the little puddle. He sighed in relief. “Phew.”
A few clapping sounds echoed in the forest and Yunho turned his gaze to Changmin, who was applauding. “Congratulations. You’ve made it across the twelve inch deep puddle. Now can we get going? I feel like there’s dirt in my pants.” The trusting side-kick complained, but Yunho could care less because there were other things in need of his attention and it was certainly not dirt in his side-kick’s pants.
“Of course we are, Changmin. Now hurry! We must save the princess!” Yunho exclaimed and from the corner of his eyes, he could see Changmin rolling his eyes at him. He ignored it, naturally, worrying about what his side-kick thought about him wasn’t important for this mission. No, not at all. They have a princess to save, that’s what!
Just the thought about it, Yunho took out the crumpled piece of paper from his pocket and oogled at the gorgeous picture plastered onto the thin white sheet. He smiled.
It had only been yesterday when he began on his journey with his cousin, Shim Changmin. The two being average handsome and not-so good-looking men, were sent to look for the most ethereally beautiful princess suited for Yunho. And Yunho being the heir to the Northern Kingdom needed a princess- or um, queen. Yes, queen! Once they marry and he becomes king to rule his kingdom, that is.
And have they found her?
Why yes, they have.
He chuckled, skimming his fingers across the portrait printed onto the sheet of paper.
Every since he laid eyes on the portrait of the beautiful princess of the Eastern Kingdom, Yunho was head over heels for her beauty. Dreaming of her beautiful lips around his coc- kissing her passionately on the lips, moaning when he thrus- caress her soft cheeks gently and begging him to fuc- embrace her into a hug. He couldn’t wait to see her! He sighed dreamingly, and then started shaking his head in dismay.
Unfortunately, she was kidnapped recently by a demonic monster and trapped inside a high tower in the Witches Forest. Hence, the forest he’s currently going through with Changmin. Forever bound to that tower unless a very courageous ultra charming prince with second degree hapkido comes along and saves her from her confinement.
Or so they say.
But that won’t deteriorate him from saving his beautiful princess, whom for all he knows, could be lonely in her forsaken tower and pleading for someone to save her from the clutches of the demonic monst-
“Hyung, you do realize that’s a ‘Wanted’ poster, right?” Changmin said, breaking Yunho away from his dreamy state.
“Yes Changmin, I am aware of that. Of course, every man out there wants this babe! How else could she have made it onto the ‘Wanted’ poster? I bet she’s hot.” Yunho beamed, kissing the picture of the beautiful soon-to-be-saved princess.
Literally, Changmin slapped his own forehead and snatched the piece of paper from Yunho’s hand. He pointed directly at the ‘WANTED: dead or alive. Reward 1,000,000,000 won’ and huffed.
“Hyung, that’s not what it says. Look, your dearest princess could be a criminal or kidnapper for all we know.” His side-kick reasoned, but Yunho only stared at him, rubbing his chin in deep thought.
“Wow, a billion won. I can buy my own brothel with that.”
“Yunho!”
“Alright, alright.” Yunho put his hands up in defense. “But a demonic monster already kidnapped her. Are you saying she kidnapped the demonic monster instead?”
“Hyung, that can’t be- “
“Wait, does this mean she has a black belt in taekwondo!?”
“No I didn’t say- “
“And she defeated the monster on her own?”
“Liste- “
“Fuck, what if she already escaped from the tower and I’ll never get the chance to fuck her. FUCK!”
“WILL YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR A MOMEN- “
Suddenly, the ground vibrated and the side-kick was interrupted by a rumbling sound. It echoed in the still forest, causing the ground to shake and birds flocked from their nest. A cold breeze blew passed them as the air turned cold and a haze began to cover up the swamp. A cloud of fog hugged around the trees, making everything dark and hazy, and suddenly an owl started ‘hooting’ to signal the arrival of the eerie night.
“Oh, great. Now what?” Yunho frowned. It’ll take them forever to get out of the Witches Forest and those bitches probably planned it that way. Why couldn’t they call it the ‘Bitches’ Forest’? There are dogs and wolves in the forest, and not once had Yunho seen a witch waltzing around the forest.
“What’s that sound?” Changmin spoke up abruptly. His breathing quickened and interrupted Yunho’s train of thoughts. Cautiously, the prince made an attempt to listen to their surroundings.
However, he gave up halfway.
“It’s an owl.” He stated blatantly. A prince is never afraid of the dark, especially in a forest. He mused, missing the side-eyeing his cousin was giving him.
“No, I know what a stupid owl sounds like, hyung. What I’m talking about is that other sound.” He said.
Silently, they listened again for any other noises. However, the prince was growing impatient from all the precaution his side-kick slash cousin was showing. Considering the more they stood around, the longer it’ll take for him to rescue his beautiful princess. He sighed.
“You’re just imagining things, Changmin.” He started off into the forest again. “Now shut up and just follow my lead- eyaahhAAAAHHH!” The prince screamed, tripping over his own feet. He cursed frantically about his luck as he heard Changmin’s voice turn faint behind him and realized he was falling forward, the weight of his body heading down into the deep pitch darkness.
It was a hole.
And he was falling fast.
Out of sight, out of light, and definitely out of the creepy forest. Though, that was the last thing on his mind because let’s face it.
He just didn’t want to land on his face.
- ->
“Ugh. W-where am I?” A pain shot up from the side of Yunho’s head and he had the urge to rub it- to make it go away- and to get better. He tried to lift his hand up, but found them both bound behind his back and groaned.
Hopefully, he didn’t land on his face or his good looking genes would be wasted in his pitiful state.
“Dammit. He woke up.” He heard a voice to his right, his sight still groggy as he watched the blur figure fiddling with something in front of him.
“Who?” He croaked. Even his voice sounded like shit. It cannot possibly get any worse than this, he thought.
“Shut up.” The blurry figure, which now looks like a ball of fur covered with a black coat, said. It was dark and black, the air smelled like herbs and root that Yunho wondered how was he breathing, especially the person in front of him since he didn’t seem fazed at all by small space in the room. At least, he thought it felt small.
It took a few minutes until Yunho’s vision adjusted to the dark room and he could see the figure a bit clearer. Though, not at all sharp since its dark, black and cold until a light lit up right underneath him.
“Finally, there we go!” The figure squeaked in such a high pitch voice that Yunho thought his ear drums might break for a minute. Hence, his hands were tied and he couldn’t cover his damn ears.
Even so, he glanced at the figure and deemed that the person looked decently normal. At least, the guy didn’t look like a lunatic with his black hair and sparkly eyes. Nope, not at all. Not unless you count the fire blazing right beneath Yunho’s face with his hands and feet tied to a rotating stake hanging high in the very little room.
It took very little self control for the realization to sink in and for Yunho to do what he had to do.
He panicked like a fucking princess.
“OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD HOLY FUCKING GOD! SOMEONE- ANYONE HELP ME! GET ME OFF THIS SHIT! KYAHHHH!”
A slap and another slap right on his handsome face (he believed is still handsome) until he finally shuts up and breathe.
“Be quiet. No one is going to save you. You’re dead already!” The squeaky voice piped up, adding more pieces of sticks and grass into the ever still burning fire.
Wait, dead?
How could he possibly be dead?
It’s not like he committed suicide, jumped off a bridge or fell down a bottomless hol- Oh.
Oh yes, he fell down a hole. That’s right.
A very deep dark hole, mind you.
He even got rid lost his cousin along the way. He sighed, breaking away from his thoughts when his ears decided to listen to what the figure was rambling about.
“I just found something to eat for dinner. Now I have to resort to my stash of bubblegum cotton candy again!” The figure cried, his voice bounced off the walls in large volumes since they were closed in a very small room. Now that he had a look at it, it’s almost like a mole just lived in here.
“But I’m not dead.” Yunho stated as a matter of fact because he’s breathing, seeing, smelling and definitely feeling the heat beneath him. Unless this was a mastery illusion created in hell as a small torture room to torment his soul, that is.
“Yes, you are mortal. Now shut up! You ruined my dinner.” The figure grumbled some curses under his breath and turned around to walk away.
“Wait! You can’t leave me here! I must save my princess!” Yunho pleaded, but the figure just poked him with a stick, earning him a few ow’s on Yunho’s end.
“I don’t care about princesses.”
“But I’m a prince! I need to save her!” He pouted- the pout that Changmin always told him was ugly and he should use it on strangers to give him candy.
Instead, the figure jabbed him with the stick.
“Damn! Why did I listen to that Shim Changmin?”
That seemed to get the guy’s attention.
“Who is this Shim Changmin? Does he taste good?” The figure came closer to Yunho, the fire still ablaze and it was really making Yunho break into a pool of sweat that he found it hard to answer.
“I’m Junsu. A xiahzard, by the way.”
“Don’t you mean a wizard?” Yunho corrected, shifting his body so it wasn’t hanging too low. Immediately, he smelled something good in the air and hoped that wasn’t his body frying right in front of him. He grimaced.
“No, xiahzard.”
The figure, now Junsu the xiahzard, went on. Still looking at him curiously and wondering why Yunho hasn’t answered him yet.
“C-can you turn the fire off first? O-o-or at least, get me down?” Yunho finally blurted. All princely manners aside, his vision began to spin like crazy from dizziness and he was glad he wasn’t standing or he would’ve fell right on his handsome face for sure.
“Okay, fine.” Junsu pulled up his sleeves and snapped his fingers. It took literally a split second for Yunho to be released and dumped unceremoniously onto the dirty ground (he was hoping for the bed). Well, he guessed the guy wasn’t joking about being a xiahzard either.
“Now, tell me more about this Shim Changmin? Is he tall as you? Handsome? Oh, and can you also bring him here? I want to snuggle this thing you speak of.” The questions came endlessly as Yunho struggled to stand before realizing that his head was already touching the ceiling and he had to crouch down a little.
“Um, okay.” Sorry Changmin. Your sacrifice will not be in vain. He sighed dramatically at the thought.
“Fuck yes! I hit the jackpot tonight!” Junsu chuckled darkly, fiddling with his fingers and running around the room like a kid high on sugar until he stopped in front of Yunho again.
“When can you get him? Now, now, now. Please? I’m hungry.” Just on cue, his stomach growled and Yunho was just relieved that he wasn’t someone’s dinner tonight.
“Well, you see… can you revive me or whatever first? Just as long as you get me out of here so I can save my princess?” He needed to get going because who knows how long he had been here with this weirdo, who’s probably fantasizing ways to snack on his cousin right now.
“Fine fine. Since you’re getting me dinne- I mean, something to fill up my appetite. I’ll let you have the choice to either beautify or uglify your looks by thirty percen- “
“Beautify.” Yunho spoke without hesitation.
“Once I revive yo-”
“Beautify.”
“You really don’t want to consider uglif-“
“Beautify.”
“Alright, alright. Beautify, it is.”
He whipped out his hands together and suddenly a light surrounded Yunho and his body began to feel light. At first, he thought he might be dying or going to heaven instead until his body suddenly shot up in the air and he was purged upward at the speed of light.
He screamed like a princess, of course. However, no one had to know that.
Moments later, he found himself back in the forest with clean clothes, softer skin, and a horse trying to eat some of his hair. Quickly, he brushed off the dust from his shoulder and stood up, his skin looking shiny as ever and his hair smoother than a haystack.
He felt gorgeous, princely and handsome… and princely. He smiled.
Getting on the horse, he noticed Junsu standing behind a tree.
“What’s a prince if you don’t have a horse?” He grinned, waving him off as Yunho continued his journey.
Now he’s off to save the princess!
And sacrifice Changmin too.
- ->
In the middle of the Witches forest, a high tower stands a bit higher than the trees- by an inch- and it was one of the perks of staying hidden from the monstrous dark powers and handsome young men, who may be lying in wait around this wretched forest. Obviously, there were creatures ready to kill the mortals, who seek to rescue the beautiful prince from his high tower and destroy the sexy dark witch for imprisoning him-
“What sexy dark witch are you talking about? Hell, if I saw this sexy dark witch, I wouldn’t be hanging around with you anymore.” The man with the pony-tail stated blatantly, unfazed by the direction of the sugar-coated and vomit worthy story. His chilled words caused the man before him, his prince, who he has served for ten years of his life to bestow his beautiful gaze at him and pouted.
“Quiet Yoochun. I’m trying to imagine my getaway until my prince charming gets here.”
“Oh my prince Jaejoong, you do not have to tell me. I already know you’re just fantasizing different positions you’ll be in once your prince charming comes to fuck your brain out.”
“Hey! I wasn’t fantasizing. I was imagining.”
“Imagining, fantasizing, same shit. You’re thinking about getting fucked either way.” The servant countered with the same argument they’ve been having for the past few years and still counting.
The prince sighed and turned to gaze out his open window, his only hope for an escape. “Oh Yoochun, you know me so well.”
“It’s been ten years, my prince.”
“Has it been that long? Jesus fucking Christ, how long does it take a prince to come and rescue me already?” The prince huffed, tapping his fingers against the window ledge.
“Um, you’re not exactly in the best place to be rescued, you know.”
Yes, prince Jaejoong knew. Ever since he became eleven on his name day, he declared in front of his royal family that he wanted a prince charming for his birthday. Considering, if his sisters were able to have a prince charming come to sweep them away, why couldn’t he have one?
Well, no one took him seriously anyway and it wasn’t until he turned nineteen that his father grew tired of his obsession to have a prince charming come knocking on his door and sweep him away. Hey, it’s not like he wanted to save a princess after his father had asked him to go to the southern kingdom and bring the princess back home. Hell to the no. The princess was fugly (yes, fucking ugly) and he had seen her a few times when his father had the royal family from the southern kingdom visit. She wanted to steal his first kiss and Jaejoong just wouldn’t have the lips of a freckled chubby girl in his face. Nuh-uh.
Fortunately, his father had finally taken his words to heart and put him in the most secluded high tower (he practically cussed his father’s ears out) in a dangerous forest. Indeed, a very dangerous forest, which meant his odds of getting rescued by prince charming were quite slim unless his luck was pure enough to pull through.
His father even put a demonic monster to ‘guard’ him from any outsiders, for whoever may want to behead the prince of the eastern kingdom.
“Yeah yeah, I know. We’re in the infamous Witches forest and I still think it should’ve been called Bitches’ forest because where the hell are they? Like seriously, all I see are dogs and wolves and more dogs!” He pointed when his gaze met with the little poodle running around the open grass field just below the high tower. The dog barked and wiggled its tail once it spotted the prince and then started chasing the next animated object that flew by.
Clearly this dog was mocking the prince. Of course, his father couldn’t conjure up a demonic monster in his possession and somehow the dog had become a village joke of a demonic creature. Bitterly, he sighed.
“True, but just because you got on your father’s bad side for not wanting to save a princess, doesn’t mean you can’t escape this stupid tower.” Yoochun suggested.
“But I don’t want to save a princess. Just looking at all my sisters’ sit in their tower, polishing their nails and putting on make-up is enough. I want my own prince charming too.” The prince sulked, feeling the touch of his servant’s hand rest upon his shoulder. He knew they were still friends for a reason.
“But Jaejoong, you’re a prince too.”
“Yes, I know dammit! It’s not like an actual sexy dark witch would come and turn me into a woman anytime soon. I can’t even walk down the stairs as it is. Damn king didn’t even bother to install an elevator!” The prince knocked over the content on his desk and took notice of a paper that landed right in front of his servant’s feet. Immediately, he barely noticed the drawing of his face and how could he possibly miss all the words on the little piece of crumpled paper- especially after his servant swiped the paper in a flash.
“Yoochun, what’s that paper?”
“Um, nothing.”
“Ten years, my man. It’s not fucking nothing.” Quickly, the prince turned to his servant abruptly, fighting for the piece of paper that seemed to hold some kind of secret unknown to Jaejoong.
The paper had been torn into two pieces; however, Jaejoong was able to snag the large portion of the content. It also seemed to be more important since most the details were there.
“Fuck Yoochun, you advertised me as a princess?” Jaejoong spat, beyond shocked and surprised that his own servant would try to increase his chances of getting saved by advertising him as a princess.
“Well, yes and no.” The servant answered nervously. It wasn’t like he did it for no reason and Jaejoong knew it had to be a good reason or he might have already thrown his servant out the window.
“Then which is it?”
“Now now, Jaejoong. I did it for you.” Yoochun started calmly. “You’ll love me for this. Don’t deny it, Jaejoong. If I didn’t advertise you as a princess, no one out there would rescue you. Did you want a crowd of sixteen-year old princesses trying to climb this tower with only ten-flight of stairs and stub their foot before they even get to you? They’ll be having trouble walking down their own stairs before they can reach for you!”
“No…I don’t.” He admitted. If he hasn’t mentioned it up until now, he’s gay. So there.
“Exactly, if anything, they wouldn’t want to rescue you and would gladly get rid of any competition for their prince charming.’” The servant summed and darn it, Jaejoong can’t throw him out the window now. “And I’m sure you want a handsome prince charming too.” That hit the spot and the prince found himself hugging his servant like there was never going to be a tomorrow.
“I guess you’re right. I was just over-reacting and- holy shit! Yoochun! Yoochun! A prince showed up. What do I do? What do I do?” In a panic, the prince turned his servant to the window and hid behind his servant’s back.
Hell, even Yoochun was surprised that someone actually showed up alive.
- ->
It took Yunho two hours to find the high tower because the horse kept turning to the wrong direction and unsaddle him sometimes. But all-in-all, he made it to the high tower all in one piece and he must thank the xiahzard (someday) for helping him reach the forsaken place.
Nervously, he fixed his hair and made sure his clothes weren’t out of place before heading to the clearing before the high tower.
Getting off his horse, Yunho landed on his feet and walked to the open field around the tower. It looked like a three story tower, nothing fancy but with benevolent grace that he was sure his princess was here somewhere.
Slowly, he looked up, searching for any sign of human activity until he spotted the most ethereal creature to walk the planet staring down right at him. His cheeks flushed instantly into a hue of red and he gulped nervously, swallowing whatever lump that was attempting to block his air tube.
He felt like he was looking at the sun.
A very beautiful sun.
- ->
The prince charming had been standing at the same spot for a few minutes and Jaejoong began to wonder if there was something on his face that he was staring at. Not that his prince charming would have super telescope sight… or maybe he does and Jaejoong just doesn’t realize it.
Silently, he glanced down at the dog and then back on his prince charming. He looked super gorgeous and fuck, Jaejoong wouldn’t mind having that climb up his window! He gave a wide smile.
Yoochun rolled his eyes at the happy prince. It had taken him a couple of minutes to calm him down from his high excited ‘OMG I HAVE A PRINCE I HAVE A PRINCE HERE TO SAVE ME HELP ME PLEASE AND FUCK ME ALL NIGHT TOO’ moment. Finally, he let out a ‘cough’ in an attempt to snap his prince out of his daze or the two would be staring at each other forever.
“Psst. My prince. Hello.” He waved his hand. “You should be requesting your prince charming to slay the demonic demon and save you already! Do you want him to run away?”
That seemed to have caught Jaejoong’s attention and he turned into ‘CRAP I WANT TO BE SAVED OMG HELP ME PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE’ mode.
“Hello, dear prince!” He waved desperately. Well, it looked desperate from afar but from Yoochun’s view he could see the prince waving excited like he just received a new toy to play with. It was more like a ‘come hither, my pet’ mode, if anything. But the servant will take it because the closer Jaejoong is to getting rescued, the faster Yoochun can say goodbye to this damn tower.
Quietly, the servant glanced down at the prince charming, who was brave enough to come to the tower and survive the forest in one piece. Even from far away the prince charming looked wonderfully gorgeous and hell, Jaejoong was one lucky prince to win such a fine prize.
In the midst of shouting and exchange of words, it seemed the prince charming had finally decided to do something after Jaejoong had encouraged him to save him.
“Yes! Please save me from this demonic being down there!” Jaejoong yelled and fanned himself excited when his prince charming wasn’t looking.
Yoochun only hoped he wouldn’t screw it up.
- ->
He probably stood there too long looking like an idiot and the princess wanted him to do something below. Amusingly, the voice sounded very husky for a princess, but still very endearing. She must’ve worked out a lot or was in the middle of eating dinner when he stumbled upon her.
Stepping forward, Yunho looked around the empty grass field until he was close to the tower and spotted a dog running up to him.
It growled when he approached closer so he stopped and bend down to let the little dog smell his hand. The poodle was reluctant at first, but eventually it gave in to take a sniff at Yunho’s hand and barked excitedly, wiggling its tail back and forth.
“Come here, boy. Come to daddy.” The prince called, tapping his knee and the poodle came to his call instantly.
“Sit!” The poodle sat obediently.
“Roll over” It rolled over once.
“Now play dead. Bang!” The prince pointed at the dog and pretended to shoot it. It rolled on its back and Yunho threw a treat at it.
“Good boy.” He picked up the dog and petted it. “Yes, pet me, pretty human.” The poodle was practically saying as it stuck out its tongue and wagged its tail in delight.
There was a key hanging on the dog’s collar and Yunho took it off the moment he noticed it. It must be the key to open the tower, he thought, walking toward the door.
Miraculously, he was right.
The doors opened instantly and he took a huge gulp to prepare himself mentally. He was going to finally meet the princess of the eastern kingdom and take her back home to become his queen! A smile came to his face as his thoughts began to race through his mind and he made it passed the flight of stairs, and then finally, the princess’s room.
“Um, hello?” He called out nervously. At least he didn’t stutter too badly. The last time he did, someone mistook him for a grandpa.
“Hello there, my hero prince charming!” The ethereal princess he found looking through the window was real. He smiled widely and ran toward his newly saved princess, hugging her with the dog right in between.
“Oh, princess!” He called and the princess flinched before saying. “Dearest prince, I’m not a princess. I’m a prince.” He batted his eyes and Yunho felt he was being casted under a spell as the realization sank in and he dropped the dog to feel the princess’s slash dubbed prince’s flat chest.
“Oh. Then why are you here in a tower? Did you already save the princess here?” The prince charming asked with caution and Jaejoong shook his head.
“Nope. I’m legitimately the prince of the eastern kingdom and the prisoner of this tower.” Jaejoong smiled sadly and Yunho felt bad for making the prince feel that way.
“Well, then. Do you know how to cook?” Yunho asked and the captive prince simply nodded.
“Sweet! That’s all I need.”
Okay, if Yunho hadn’t mentioned it along the way, he’s technically bisexual. Be it man or woman, who the fuck cares.
“Anyway, I’m Jaejoong.” The prince introduced.
“Yunho, at your service.”
“And I’m Yoo- “
“Um.. that’s a nice bitch you got there.” Jaejoong cut off his servant and the dog growled at him.
“Bitch? I thought it was a boy?” Yunho blinked innocently.
“See Jaejoong, I told you it was a boy.” Jaejoong’s heard a whisper faintly from behind him. He snorted once he realized it was Yoochun and then turned back to Yunho with an awkward smile.
“Right, yeah… Boy. Anyway, are you good with dogs?” Jaejoong spoke seriously, grabbing onto Yunho’s hands and holding them tightly.
“Um… yes.”
“You’re hired! Bye, Chun. Tell my father he can eat shit and kiss my beautiful ass good-bye. I’m eloping!” And he pulled his prince charming away, leaving his servant behind to clean up the crap the dog left on the couch.
“Oh hell no.”
The End
But
Not
Really…
- ->
“Ugh. Where am I?” Changmin asked once he found his voice. His hands were bound together behind him and he was hanging from a bunch of sticks.
“Do you know what time it is?” A voice to his right spoke up suddenly and Changmin found it hard to make out the figure.
“Um, no.” Changmin answered, confused on why this person would ask him such a rhetorical question because his hands were obviously tied and he can’t spot a clock in the dark. So he asked “What time is it?”
And the voice answered him in a whisper.
“It’s dinner time.”
THE END
A/N: MERRY CHRISTMAS, HAPPY HOLIDAYS AND HAPPY 10TH ANNIVERSARY TO THE FIVE GODS! ;~; It’s not a Christmas story, but STILL, it’s failed crack and I hope you guys enjoyed it! Questions, comments and criticisms are always welcome! \o//~
First, grab your sword and lucky horseshoe. Throw yourself shamelessly in front of the prince’s sight. It never hurts to advertise your body and charm your prince. Second, if the prince gets kidnapped by a demon, follow him to the end of the world. They love it when someone throws away their life for them. If you die along the way, then follow step three. Get a witch to cast a spell on you, rise up from the dead and save your prince like there’s no tomorrow. Good luck, munchkin!
Warning(s): Lots of cursing, and un-beta’ed
A/N: Inspired by BtoB’s “Thriller” MV.
“Prince Yunho, can you stop acting like a princess and jump over the damn water?” Changmin commented from afar, securing his hold onto his backpack and waiting for Yunho to cross the small puddle.
“I am not a princess!” Yunho defended. His voice shaking with fear as he stretched his right leg slowly over the small puddle, careful to feel the other side of the muddy ground under his feet as he moved cautiously. His left hard gripped onto a stray branch for balance until he shifted his weight and made it across the little puddle. He sighed in relief. “Phew.”
A few clapping sounds echoed in the forest and Yunho turned his gaze to Changmin, who was applauding. “Congratulations. You’ve made it across the twelve inch deep puddle. Now can we get going? I feel like there’s dirt in my pants.” The trusting side-kick complained, but Yunho could care less because there were other things in need of his attention and it was certainly not dirt in his side-kick’s pants.
“Of course we are, Changmin. Now hurry! We must save the princess!” Yunho exclaimed and from the corner of his eyes, he could see Changmin rolling his eyes at him. He ignored it, naturally, worrying about what his side-kick thought about him wasn’t important for this mission. No, not at all. They have a princess to save, that’s what!
Just the thought about it, Yunho took out the crumpled piece of paper from his pocket and oogled at the gorgeous picture plastered onto the thin white sheet. He smiled.
It had only been yesterday when he began on his journey with his cousin, Shim Changmin. The two being average handsome and not-so good-looking men, were sent to look for the most ethereally beautiful princess suited for Yunho. And Yunho being the heir to the Northern Kingdom needed a princess- or um, queen. Yes, queen! Once they marry and he becomes king to rule his kingdom, that is.
And have they found her?
Why yes, they have.
He chuckled, skimming his fingers across the portrait printed onto the sheet of paper.
Every since he laid eyes on the portrait of the beautiful princess of the Eastern Kingdom, Yunho was head over heels for her beauty. Dreaming of her beautiful lips around his coc- kissing her passionately on the lips, moaning when he thrus- caress her soft cheeks gently and begging him to fuc- embrace her into a hug. He couldn’t wait to see her! He sighed dreamingly, and then started shaking his head in dismay.
Unfortunately, she was kidnapped recently by a demonic monster and trapped inside a high tower in the Witches Forest. Hence, the forest he’s currently going through with Changmin. Forever bound to that tower unless a very courageous ultra charming prince with second degree hapkido comes along and saves her from her confinement.
Or so they say.
But that won’t deteriorate him from saving his beautiful princess, whom for all he knows, could be lonely in her forsaken tower and pleading for someone to save her from the clutches of the demonic monst-
“Hyung, you do realize that’s a ‘Wanted’ poster, right?” Changmin said, breaking Yunho away from his dreamy state.
“Yes Changmin, I am aware of that. Of course, every man out there wants this babe! How else could she have made it onto the ‘Wanted’ poster? I bet she’s hot.” Yunho beamed, kissing the picture of the beautiful soon-to-be-saved princess.
Literally, Changmin slapped his own forehead and snatched the piece of paper from Yunho’s hand. He pointed directly at the ‘WANTED: dead or alive. Reward 1,000,000,000 won’ and huffed.
“Hyung, that’s not what it says. Look, your dearest princess could be a criminal or kidnapper for all we know.” His side-kick reasoned, but Yunho only stared at him, rubbing his chin in deep thought.
“Wow, a billion won. I can buy my own brothel with that.”
“Yunho!”
“Alright, alright.” Yunho put his hands up in defense. “But a demonic monster already kidnapped her. Are you saying she kidnapped the demonic monster instead?”
“Hyung, that can’t be- “
“Wait, does this mean she has a black belt in taekwondo!?”
“No I didn’t say- “
“And she defeated the monster on her own?”
“Liste- “
“Fuck, what if she already escaped from the tower and I’ll never get the chance to fuck her. FUCK!”
“WILL YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR A MOMEN- “
Suddenly, the ground vibrated and the side-kick was interrupted by a rumbling sound. It echoed in the still forest, causing the ground to shake and birds flocked from their nest. A cold breeze blew passed them as the air turned cold and a haze began to cover up the swamp. A cloud of fog hugged around the trees, making everything dark and hazy, and suddenly an owl started ‘hooting’ to signal the arrival of the eerie night.
“Oh, great. Now what?” Yunho frowned. It’ll take them forever to get out of the Witches Forest and those bitches probably planned it that way. Why couldn’t they call it the ‘Bitches’ Forest’? There are dogs and wolves in the forest, and not once had Yunho seen a witch waltzing around the forest.
“What’s that sound?” Changmin spoke up abruptly. His breathing quickened and interrupted Yunho’s train of thoughts. Cautiously, the prince made an attempt to listen to their surroundings.
However, he gave up halfway.
“It’s an owl.” He stated blatantly. A prince is never afraid of the dark, especially in a forest. He mused, missing the side-eyeing his cousin was giving him.
“No, I know what a stupid owl sounds like, hyung. What I’m talking about is that other sound.” He said.
Silently, they listened again for any other noises. However, the prince was growing impatient from all the precaution his side-kick slash cousin was showing. Considering the more they stood around, the longer it’ll take for him to rescue his beautiful princess. He sighed.
“You’re just imagining things, Changmin.” He started off into the forest again. “Now shut up and just follow my lead- eyaahhAAAAHHH!” The prince screamed, tripping over his own feet. He cursed frantically about his luck as he heard Changmin’s voice turn faint behind him and realized he was falling forward, the weight of his body heading down into the deep pitch darkness.
It was a hole.
And he was falling fast.
Out of sight, out of light, and definitely out of the creepy forest. Though, that was the last thing on his mind because let’s face it.
He just didn’t want to land on his face.
- ->
“Ugh. W-where am I?” A pain shot up from the side of Yunho’s head and he had the urge to rub it- to make it go away- and to get better. He tried to lift his hand up, but found them both bound behind his back and groaned.
Hopefully, he didn’t land on his face or his good looking genes would be wasted in his pitiful state.
“Dammit. He woke up.” He heard a voice to his right, his sight still groggy as he watched the blur figure fiddling with something in front of him.
“Who?” He croaked. Even his voice sounded like shit. It cannot possibly get any worse than this, he thought.
“Shut up.” The blurry figure, which now looks like a ball of fur covered with a black coat, said. It was dark and black, the air smelled like herbs and root that Yunho wondered how was he breathing, especially the person in front of him since he didn’t seem fazed at all by small space in the room. At least, he thought it felt small.
It took a few minutes until Yunho’s vision adjusted to the dark room and he could see the figure a bit clearer. Though, not at all sharp since its dark, black and cold until a light lit up right underneath him.
“Finally, there we go!” The figure squeaked in such a high pitch voice that Yunho thought his ear drums might break for a minute. Hence, his hands were tied and he couldn’t cover his damn ears.
Even so, he glanced at the figure and deemed that the person looked decently normal. At least, the guy didn’t look like a lunatic with his black hair and sparkly eyes. Nope, not at all. Not unless you count the fire blazing right beneath Yunho’s face with his hands and feet tied to a rotating stake hanging high in the very little room.
It took very little self control for the realization to sink in and for Yunho to do what he had to do.
He panicked like a fucking princess.
“OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD HOLY FUCKING GOD! SOMEONE- ANYONE HELP ME! GET ME OFF THIS SHIT! KYAHHHH!”
A slap and another slap right on his handsome face (he believed is still handsome) until he finally shuts up and breathe.
“Be quiet. No one is going to save you. You’re dead already!” The squeaky voice piped up, adding more pieces of sticks and grass into the ever still burning fire.
Wait, dead?
How could he possibly be dead?
It’s not like he committed suicide, jumped off a bridge or fell down a bottomless hol- Oh.
Oh yes, he fell down a hole. That’s right.
A very deep dark hole, mind you.
He even got rid lost his cousin along the way. He sighed, breaking away from his thoughts when his ears decided to listen to what the figure was rambling about.
“I just found something to eat for dinner. Now I have to resort to my stash of bubblegum cotton candy again!” The figure cried, his voice bounced off the walls in large volumes since they were closed in a very small room. Now that he had a look at it, it’s almost like a mole just lived in here.
“But I’m not dead.” Yunho stated as a matter of fact because he’s breathing, seeing, smelling and definitely feeling the heat beneath him. Unless this was a mastery illusion created in hell as a small torture room to torment his soul, that is.
“Yes, you are mortal. Now shut up! You ruined my dinner.” The figure grumbled some curses under his breath and turned around to walk away.
“Wait! You can’t leave me here! I must save my princess!” Yunho pleaded, but the figure just poked him with a stick, earning him a few ow’s on Yunho’s end.
“I don’t care about princesses.”
“But I’m a prince! I need to save her!” He pouted- the pout that Changmin always told him was ugly and he should use it on strangers to give him candy.
Instead, the figure jabbed him with the stick.
“Damn! Why did I listen to that Shim Changmin?”
That seemed to get the guy’s attention.
“Who is this Shim Changmin? Does he taste good?” The figure came closer to Yunho, the fire still ablaze and it was really making Yunho break into a pool of sweat that he found it hard to answer.
“I’m Junsu. A xiahzard, by the way.”
“Don’t you mean a wizard?” Yunho corrected, shifting his body so it wasn’t hanging too low. Immediately, he smelled something good in the air and hoped that wasn’t his body frying right in front of him. He grimaced.
“No, xiahzard.”
The figure, now Junsu the xiahzard, went on. Still looking at him curiously and wondering why Yunho hasn’t answered him yet.
“C-can you turn the fire off first? O-o-or at least, get me down?” Yunho finally blurted. All princely manners aside, his vision began to spin like crazy from dizziness and he was glad he wasn’t standing or he would’ve fell right on his handsome face for sure.
“Okay, fine.” Junsu pulled up his sleeves and snapped his fingers. It took literally a split second for Yunho to be released and dumped unceremoniously onto the dirty ground (he was hoping for the bed). Well, he guessed the guy wasn’t joking about being a xiahzard either.
“Now, tell me more about this Shim Changmin? Is he tall as you? Handsome? Oh, and can you also bring him here? I want to snuggle this thing you speak of.” The questions came endlessly as Yunho struggled to stand before realizing that his head was already touching the ceiling and he had to crouch down a little.
“Um, okay.” Sorry Changmin. Your sacrifice will not be in vain. He sighed dramatically at the thought.
“Fuck yes! I hit the jackpot tonight!” Junsu chuckled darkly, fiddling with his fingers and running around the room like a kid high on sugar until he stopped in front of Yunho again.
“When can you get him? Now, now, now. Please? I’m hungry.” Just on cue, his stomach growled and Yunho was just relieved that he wasn’t someone’s dinner tonight.
“Well, you see… can you revive me or whatever first? Just as long as you get me out of here so I can save my princess?” He needed to get going because who knows how long he had been here with this weirdo, who’s probably fantasizing ways to snack on his cousin right now.
“Fine fine. Since you’re getting me dinne- I mean, something to fill up my appetite. I’ll let you have the choice to either beautify or uglify your looks by thirty percen- “
“Beautify.” Yunho spoke without hesitation.
“Once I revive yo-”
“Beautify.”
“You really don’t want to consider uglif-“
“Beautify.”
“Alright, alright. Beautify, it is.”
He whipped out his hands together and suddenly a light surrounded Yunho and his body began to feel light. At first, he thought he might be dying or going to heaven instead until his body suddenly shot up in the air and he was purged upward at the speed of light.
He screamed like a princess, of course. However, no one had to know that.
Moments later, he found himself back in the forest with clean clothes, softer skin, and a horse trying to eat some of his hair. Quickly, he brushed off the dust from his shoulder and stood up, his skin looking shiny as ever and his hair smoother than a haystack.
He felt gorgeous, princely and handsome… and princely. He smiled.
Getting on the horse, he noticed Junsu standing behind a tree.
“What’s a prince if you don’t have a horse?” He grinned, waving him off as Yunho continued his journey.
Now he’s off to save the princess!
And sacrifice Changmin too.
- ->
In the middle of the Witches forest, a high tower stands a bit higher than the trees- by an inch- and it was one of the perks of staying hidden from the monstrous dark powers and handsome young men, who may be lying in wait around this wretched forest. Obviously, there were creatures ready to kill the mortals, who seek to rescue the beautiful prince from his high tower and destroy the sexy dark witch for imprisoning him-
“What sexy dark witch are you talking about? Hell, if I saw this sexy dark witch, I wouldn’t be hanging around with you anymore.” The man with the pony-tail stated blatantly, unfazed by the direction of the sugar-coated and vomit worthy story. His chilled words caused the man before him, his prince, who he has served for ten years of his life to bestow his beautiful gaze at him and pouted.
“Quiet Yoochun. I’m trying to imagine my getaway until my prince charming gets here.”
“Oh my prince Jaejoong, you do not have to tell me. I already know you’re just fantasizing different positions you’ll be in once your prince charming comes to fuck your brain out.”
“Hey! I wasn’t fantasizing. I was imagining.”
“Imagining, fantasizing, same shit. You’re thinking about getting fucked either way.” The servant countered with the same argument they’ve been having for the past few years and still counting.
The prince sighed and turned to gaze out his open window, his only hope for an escape. “Oh Yoochun, you know me so well.”
“It’s been ten years, my prince.”
“Has it been that long? Jesus fucking Christ, how long does it take a prince to come and rescue me already?” The prince huffed, tapping his fingers against the window ledge.
“Um, you’re not exactly in the best place to be rescued, you know.”
Yes, prince Jaejoong knew. Ever since he became eleven on his name day, he declared in front of his royal family that he wanted a prince charming for his birthday. Considering, if his sisters were able to have a prince charming come to sweep them away, why couldn’t he have one?
Well, no one took him seriously anyway and it wasn’t until he turned nineteen that his father grew tired of his obsession to have a prince charming come knocking on his door and sweep him away. Hey, it’s not like he wanted to save a princess after his father had asked him to go to the southern kingdom and bring the princess back home. Hell to the no. The princess was fugly (yes, fucking ugly) and he had seen her a few times when his father had the royal family from the southern kingdom visit. She wanted to steal his first kiss and Jaejoong just wouldn’t have the lips of a freckled chubby girl in his face. Nuh-uh.
Fortunately, his father had finally taken his words to heart and put him in the most secluded high tower (he practically cussed his father’s ears out) in a dangerous forest. Indeed, a very dangerous forest, which meant his odds of getting rescued by prince charming were quite slim unless his luck was pure enough to pull through.
His father even put a demonic monster to ‘guard’ him from any outsiders, for whoever may want to behead the prince of the eastern kingdom.
“Yeah yeah, I know. We’re in the infamous Witches forest and I still think it should’ve been called Bitches’ forest because where the hell are they? Like seriously, all I see are dogs and wolves and more dogs!” He pointed when his gaze met with the little poodle running around the open grass field just below the high tower. The dog barked and wiggled its tail once it spotted the prince and then started chasing the next animated object that flew by.
Clearly this dog was mocking the prince. Of course, his father couldn’t conjure up a demonic monster in his possession and somehow the dog had become a village joke of a demonic creature. Bitterly, he sighed.
“True, but just because you got on your father’s bad side for not wanting to save a princess, doesn’t mean you can’t escape this stupid tower.” Yoochun suggested.
“But I don’t want to save a princess. Just looking at all my sisters’ sit in their tower, polishing their nails and putting on make-up is enough. I want my own prince charming too.” The prince sulked, feeling the touch of his servant’s hand rest upon his shoulder. He knew they were still friends for a reason.
“But Jaejoong, you’re a prince too.”
“Yes, I know dammit! It’s not like an actual sexy dark witch would come and turn me into a woman anytime soon. I can’t even walk down the stairs as it is. Damn king didn’t even bother to install an elevator!” The prince knocked over the content on his desk and took notice of a paper that landed right in front of his servant’s feet. Immediately, he barely noticed the drawing of his face and how could he possibly miss all the words on the little piece of crumpled paper- especially after his servant swiped the paper in a flash.
“Yoochun, what’s that paper?”
“Um, nothing.”
“Ten years, my man. It’s not fucking nothing.” Quickly, the prince turned to his servant abruptly, fighting for the piece of paper that seemed to hold some kind of secret unknown to Jaejoong.
The paper had been torn into two pieces; however, Jaejoong was able to snag the large portion of the content. It also seemed to be more important since most the details were there.
“Fuck Yoochun, you advertised me as a princess?” Jaejoong spat, beyond shocked and surprised that his own servant would try to increase his chances of getting saved by advertising him as a princess.
“Well, yes and no.” The servant answered nervously. It wasn’t like he did it for no reason and Jaejoong knew it had to be a good reason or he might have already thrown his servant out the window.
“Then which is it?”
“Now now, Jaejoong. I did it for you.” Yoochun started calmly. “You’ll love me for this. Don’t deny it, Jaejoong. If I didn’t advertise you as a princess, no one out there would rescue you. Did you want a crowd of sixteen-year old princesses trying to climb this tower with only ten-flight of stairs and stub their foot before they even get to you? They’ll be having trouble walking down their own stairs before they can reach for you!”
“No…I don’t.” He admitted. If he hasn’t mentioned it up until now, he’s gay. So there.
“Exactly, if anything, they wouldn’t want to rescue you and would gladly get rid of any competition for their prince charming.’” The servant summed and darn it, Jaejoong can’t throw him out the window now. “And I’m sure you want a handsome prince charming too.” That hit the spot and the prince found himself hugging his servant like there was never going to be a tomorrow.
“I guess you’re right. I was just over-reacting and- holy shit! Yoochun! Yoochun! A prince showed up. What do I do? What do I do?” In a panic, the prince turned his servant to the window and hid behind his servant’s back.
Hell, even Yoochun was surprised that someone actually showed up alive.
- ->
It took Yunho two hours to find the high tower because the horse kept turning to the wrong direction and unsaddle him sometimes. But all-in-all, he made it to the high tower all in one piece and he must thank the xiahzard (someday) for helping him reach the forsaken place.
Nervously, he fixed his hair and made sure his clothes weren’t out of place before heading to the clearing before the high tower.
Getting off his horse, Yunho landed on his feet and walked to the open field around the tower. It looked like a three story tower, nothing fancy but with benevolent grace that he was sure his princess was here somewhere.
Slowly, he looked up, searching for any sign of human activity until he spotted the most ethereal creature to walk the planet staring down right at him. His cheeks flushed instantly into a hue of red and he gulped nervously, swallowing whatever lump that was attempting to block his air tube.
He felt like he was looking at the sun.
A very beautiful sun.
- ->
The prince charming had been standing at the same spot for a few minutes and Jaejoong began to wonder if there was something on his face that he was staring at. Not that his prince charming would have super telescope sight… or maybe he does and Jaejoong just doesn’t realize it.
Silently, he glanced down at the dog and then back on his prince charming. He looked super gorgeous and fuck, Jaejoong wouldn’t mind having that climb up his window! He gave a wide smile.
Yoochun rolled his eyes at the happy prince. It had taken him a couple of minutes to calm him down from his high excited ‘OMG I HAVE A PRINCE I HAVE A PRINCE HERE TO SAVE ME HELP ME PLEASE AND FUCK ME ALL NIGHT TOO’ moment. Finally, he let out a ‘cough’ in an attempt to snap his prince out of his daze or the two would be staring at each other forever.
“Psst. My prince. Hello.” He waved his hand. “You should be requesting your prince charming to slay the demonic demon and save you already! Do you want him to run away?”
That seemed to have caught Jaejoong’s attention and he turned into ‘CRAP I WANT TO BE SAVED OMG HELP ME PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE’ mode.
“Hello, dear prince!” He waved desperately. Well, it looked desperate from afar but from Yoochun’s view he could see the prince waving excited like he just received a new toy to play with. It was more like a ‘come hither, my pet’ mode, if anything. But the servant will take it because the closer Jaejoong is to getting rescued, the faster Yoochun can say goodbye to this damn tower.
Quietly, the servant glanced down at the prince charming, who was brave enough to come to the tower and survive the forest in one piece. Even from far away the prince charming looked wonderfully gorgeous and hell, Jaejoong was one lucky prince to win such a fine prize.
In the midst of shouting and exchange of words, it seemed the prince charming had finally decided to do something after Jaejoong had encouraged him to save him.
“Yes! Please save me from this demonic being down there!” Jaejoong yelled and fanned himself excited when his prince charming wasn’t looking.
Yoochun only hoped he wouldn’t screw it up.
- ->
He probably stood there too long looking like an idiot and the princess wanted him to do something below. Amusingly, the voice sounded very husky for a princess, but still very endearing. She must’ve worked out a lot or was in the middle of eating dinner when he stumbled upon her.
Stepping forward, Yunho looked around the empty grass field until he was close to the tower and spotted a dog running up to him.
It growled when he approached closer so he stopped and bend down to let the little dog smell his hand. The poodle was reluctant at first, but eventually it gave in to take a sniff at Yunho’s hand and barked excitedly, wiggling its tail back and forth.
“Come here, boy. Come to daddy.” The prince called, tapping his knee and the poodle came to his call instantly.
“Sit!” The poodle sat obediently.
“Roll over” It rolled over once.
“Now play dead. Bang!” The prince pointed at the dog and pretended to shoot it. It rolled on its back and Yunho threw a treat at it.
“Good boy.” He picked up the dog and petted it. “Yes, pet me, pretty human.” The poodle was practically saying as it stuck out its tongue and wagged its tail in delight.
There was a key hanging on the dog’s collar and Yunho took it off the moment he noticed it. It must be the key to open the tower, he thought, walking toward the door.
Miraculously, he was right.
The doors opened instantly and he took a huge gulp to prepare himself mentally. He was going to finally meet the princess of the eastern kingdom and take her back home to become his queen! A smile came to his face as his thoughts began to race through his mind and he made it passed the flight of stairs, and then finally, the princess’s room.
“Um, hello?” He called out nervously. At least he didn’t stutter too badly. The last time he did, someone mistook him for a grandpa.
“Hello there, my hero prince charming!” The ethereal princess he found looking through the window was real. He smiled widely and ran toward his newly saved princess, hugging her with the dog right in between.
“Oh, princess!” He called and the princess flinched before saying. “Dearest prince, I’m not a princess. I’m a prince.” He batted his eyes and Yunho felt he was being casted under a spell as the realization sank in and he dropped the dog to feel the princess’s slash dubbed prince’s flat chest.
“Oh. Then why are you here in a tower? Did you already save the princess here?” The prince charming asked with caution and Jaejoong shook his head.
“Nope. I’m legitimately the prince of the eastern kingdom and the prisoner of this tower.” Jaejoong smiled sadly and Yunho felt bad for making the prince feel that way.
“Well, then. Do you know how to cook?” Yunho asked and the captive prince simply nodded.
“Sweet! That’s all I need.”
Okay, if Yunho hadn’t mentioned it along the way, he’s technically bisexual. Be it man or woman, who the fuck cares.
“Anyway, I’m Jaejoong.” The prince introduced.
“Yunho, at your service.”
“And I’m Yoo- “
“Um.. that’s a nice bitch you got there.” Jaejoong cut off his servant and the dog growled at him.
“Bitch? I thought it was a boy?” Yunho blinked innocently.
“See Jaejoong, I told you it was a boy.” Jaejoong’s heard a whisper faintly from behind him. He snorted once he realized it was Yoochun and then turned back to Yunho with an awkward smile.
“Right, yeah… Boy. Anyway, are you good with dogs?” Jaejoong spoke seriously, grabbing onto Yunho’s hands and holding them tightly.
“Um… yes.”
“You’re hired! Bye, Chun. Tell my father he can eat shit and kiss my beautiful ass good-bye. I’m eloping!” And he pulled his prince charming away, leaving his servant behind to clean up the crap the dog left on the couch.
“Oh hell no.”
The End
But
Not
Really…
- ->
“Ugh. Where am I?” Changmin asked once he found his voice. His hands were bound together behind him and he was hanging from a bunch of sticks.
“Do you know what time it is?” A voice to his right spoke up suddenly and Changmin found it hard to make out the figure.
“Um, no.” Changmin answered, confused on why this person would ask him such a rhetorical question because his hands were obviously tied and he can’t spot a clock in the dark. So he asked “What time is it?”
And the voice answered him in a whisper.
“It’s dinner time.”
THE END
A/N: MERRY CHRISTMAS, HAPPY HOLIDAYS AND HAPPY 10TH ANNIVERSARY TO THE FIVE GODS! ;~; It’s not a Christmas story, but STILL, it’s failed crack and I hope you guys enjoyed it! Questions, comments and criticisms are always welcome! \o//~