(no subject)
I'm in a slump right now and need to take some time off the computer. Work, as you may have read, isn't exactly going well at the moment. My frustration and overall pissed-offness is overwhelming and I'm not sure what I need to do at the moment.
Part of me says I should stick it out at work and try to 'make a difference'. This is based on the faith that hard work is rewarded. However, I've been busting my ass and haven't seen any rewards. In fact, I keep getting more shit dumped on me and only get a shitty ass raise and an apology. I'm not even coming close to doing a good job in my own eyes... and failure is not something I easily accept. I realize that it may be humanly impossible to DO a good job... and yet so many people at work are looking at me to fix this miserable department. Am I up for the task?? Perhaps... but, I'm not willing to continue putting in the unpaid overtime to just catch up or keep up. SHOW ME THE MONEY!! hahaha
The other choice is more complicated as I own a house, have some really great friends and someone that is special to me. Not that all this will ultimately stop me from making a smart decision for my own life... but, i'm fucking tired of moving. At least right now. The thought of taking a position in another division or another job altogether is making me ill. I can't imagine doing the moving thing all over again (Hasn't even been 2 years). But, sadly... If things don't turn around at work, i'll have no choice (for health or job security reasons).
I rarely dump drama on these pages.. .but i'm at a loss. I spend what little free time i have drinking my ass off or getting high and just debating with myself what i need to do. This tactic, although briefly soothing, is ultimately driving me deeper and deeper into depression and farther from a solution.
And please... PLEASE don't leave me the "awwww Chachy" messege. I fucking hate that shit. Advice or humor is openly and always accepted. But, pity is not what i need.
Love ya ;)
JAN 26th - 'Si accettano di credito?' (Do you accept credit cards?)
Part of me says I should stick it out at work and try to 'make a difference'. This is based on the faith that hard work is rewarded. However, I've been busting my ass and haven't seen any rewards. In fact, I keep getting more shit dumped on me and only get a shitty ass raise and an apology. I'm not even coming close to doing a good job in my own eyes... and failure is not something I easily accept. I realize that it may be humanly impossible to DO a good job... and yet so many people at work are looking at me to fix this miserable department. Am I up for the task?? Perhaps... but, I'm not willing to continue putting in the unpaid overtime to just catch up or keep up. SHOW ME THE MONEY!! hahaha
The other choice is more complicated as I own a house, have some really great friends and someone that is special to me. Not that all this will ultimately stop me from making a smart decision for my own life... but, i'm fucking tired of moving. At least right now. The thought of taking a position in another division or another job altogether is making me ill. I can't imagine doing the moving thing all over again (Hasn't even been 2 years). But, sadly... If things don't turn around at work, i'll have no choice (for health or job security reasons).
I rarely dump drama on these pages.. .but i'm at a loss. I spend what little free time i have drinking my ass off or getting high and just debating with myself what i need to do. This tactic, although briefly soothing, is ultimately driving me deeper and deeper into depression and farther from a solution.
And please... PLEASE don't leave me the "awwww Chachy" messege. I fucking hate that shit. Advice or humor is openly and always accepted. But, pity is not what i need.
Love ya ;)
JAN 26th - 'Si accettano di credito?' (Do you accept credit cards?)