Starting off highschool hell
Well today was like the most fucked up rollar coaster emotion ride of my entire fucking life. I wake up in the morning HORRIBLE mood....i get to school much better...A block...right back to shitty hating life, B block...had a good time i like my teacher C block amazingg! class it was so much fun D block boring as shit my teacher sucks...
so that was school..it doesn't even compare to tonight
I got home and did some shit my mom was bitching at me usual...my dad ignored us nothing new, watched part of dodgeball because i needed a laugh or so and it kinda helped then i called rich because i thought something was like horrible wrong...well i guess i was right
We started talking long pauses and i just bursted out...whats going on. Then it happends the dreaded I don't knows OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN.He basicily said that he had a lot of shit goign on in his life right now and he didn't know what was the cause if it was me, his parents, football, work or school...and then i almost started crying saying i'm sorry i'm suck a fucking failure and then he was like its not your fault and all that...and i said well do you just want to end it and he said he just didn't know any more...and I honestly was trying to be the prefect girl friend and i thought i was doing a pretty damn good job...oh well i've decided i'm giving him a week to figure his shit out and then its going from there eather break up and not worry about all of it or try and learn from what just happend...but yeah i'm so thankful for having amazing family and friends and all that to help me out because I really liked him if you didn't know and from what he said you would have never expected this to happen and thats probably why i'm freaking out but its okay...i don't think i covered everything but i was right this did help and i know probably only diane and maybe lauren will read this but just knowing that i can talk to some people and they won't tell me i'm just dumb feels good
I love you all no matter what.
so that was school..it doesn't even compare to tonight
I got home and did some shit my mom was bitching at me usual...my dad ignored us nothing new, watched part of dodgeball because i needed a laugh or so and it kinda helped then i called rich because i thought something was like horrible wrong...well i guess i was right
We started talking long pauses and i just bursted out...whats going on. Then it happends the dreaded I don't knows OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN.He basicily said that he had a lot of shit goign on in his life right now and he didn't know what was the cause if it was me, his parents, football, work or school...and then i almost started crying saying i'm sorry i'm suck a fucking failure and then he was like its not your fault and all that...and i said well do you just want to end it and he said he just didn't know any more...and I honestly was trying to be the prefect girl friend and i thought i was doing a pretty damn good job...oh well i've decided i'm giving him a week to figure his shit out and then its going from there eather break up and not worry about all of it or try and learn from what just happend...but yeah i'm so thankful for having amazing family and friends and all that to help me out because I really liked him if you didn't know and from what he said you would have never expected this to happen and thats probably why i'm freaking out but its okay...i don't think i covered everything but i was right this did help and i know probably only diane and maybe lauren will read this but just knowing that i can talk to some people and they won't tell me i'm just dumb feels good
I love you all no matter what.