dont speak
ive reached the end of the rope. i Want to leave my house ASAP. i cant remember the least time my mother was nice to me. honestly. i cannot. i dont understand how this has happend and why i have to pay for it like this. i dont have conversations with her anymore unless it's her telling me to clean or to do something or yelling at me because i didnt find out shit about my dad that i was supposed to because she thinks that i have taken the fucking role of a spy now. i have enough stress as it is because of her but when she doesnt let me even fucking let go of that stress by seeing my friends, the one thing that keeps me going i cant help but break down, they're the only thing that brings the least bit of joy to me and now she wants to take that away from me too. great. i wish there was a way to show her how much she hurts me but she doesnt take anything i say seriously.
"when i tell my friends all the shit you do to me they ask me if u actually love me"- my fucking mother
i wish she could hear what my friends think of all the shit she says to me and how much she lowers my already low selfesteem as it is.
lately ive been feeling really sensitive to everything that happens to me, i dont know whats happened to me but i feel like nothing makes me happy anymore. nothing matters.
ive also been day dreaming alot about how things used to be when i was happy. i always have to shake my head out of it to remind myself that those things dont happen anymore and probably wont ever again.
i hate depressing entries. i would have made this private so ppl wouldnt have to read this, but thats the point of Lj, and i havent updated in while anyway.
"when i tell my friends all the shit you do to me they ask me if u actually love me"- my fucking mother
i wish she could hear what my friends think of all the shit she says to me and how much she lowers my already low selfesteem as it is.
lately ive been feeling really sensitive to everything that happens to me, i dont know whats happened to me but i feel like nothing makes me happy anymore. nothing matters.
ive also been day dreaming alot about how things used to be when i was happy. i always have to shake my head out of it to remind myself that those things dont happen anymore and probably wont ever again.
i hate depressing entries. i would have made this private so ppl wouldnt have to read this, but thats the point of Lj, and i havent updated in while anyway.