Write your own funeral!
Seriously, its fun. Tagged by rocca_that_kilt who rocks this worrrrld.
A young man in his early thirties approached the huge Catholic Church hesitantly. From the looks of things, everything was already underway. He glanced at a small card in his hand and bustled in, making note of the overcast skies. Funeral weather.
He let a smile touch his lips as he made his way into the most colorful viewing he’d ever seen in his life. Telling people they wouldn’t be let in without a costume worked better than he could have hoped. More than a few of Chad’s family members were insanely creative and it showed. Skirts rustled and sequins glittered while oldies played gleefully from a portable CD player near the front of the church underneath a large banner reading, “Sucks that you’re dead, Chad!” in huge, curly letters.
He tapped a man in a tight police uniform and a cowboy hat on the shoulder, whispering, “Stephen, its time.” He pulled open his glittery, oversized ringleader jacket to reveal a tape. Stephen nodded, grinning with tears in his eyes and grabbed the hand of a scantily clad man in a zippered mask.
The trio made their way up to the front of the Church where a large flat screen was lowering over the crucifix. Chad’s mom, now in her late fifties and wearing a strawberry costume looked each of them up and down from beside the casket and allowed herself a chuckle.
“You’re actually going through with it, Brett?” she asked, giving the ringleader a tentative hug.
Brett smiled and nodded. “Gather the family.” As she bustled off, he changed the track and let the folksy beginning of “Stuck in the Middle with You” sink into the crowd’s mind.
Stephen disappeared into the group and came back with a fleet of sniffling young men in skimpy gold-trimmed angel costumes with big fluffy wings who would later act as pall bearers. They took their places solemnly on either side of the casket.
“Tryin’ to make sense of it all, but I can see it makes no sense at all.”
Brett popped in the videotape and Chad appeared on the screen clad in a lime green suit. After a couple seconds of snickers and giggles off camera, he shushed them with a grin and began his speech to the crowd of extended family and friends.
“I’m sure you’ve all heard about my tragic death. I mean a motorcycle accident while running away from the mafia is news that gets around.” He allowed himself a chuckle. Whispers arose about the nature of his death but quickly quieted as the tape continued. Brett and Stephen held back their own laughter. “I just wanted to say that I love you all and that what’s left of my body had better be in this suit, as per my will.
“Also, John Stamos is here. Thanks Aunt Elizabeth.” John raised his drink in a toast and the rest of the family followed suit.
“Now, I’d like you all to quit your crying and enjoy the party. I assume I’m currently living it up and I’d like you all to do the same.” He winked and gave his last thumbs up. The tape went snowy and the lights dimmed, allowing the dance compilation to shed the family’s inhibitions for them.
Also, since no one will read my kick ass funeral...I tag you! Bwahahahahaha. I call you all out to write your own funerals.
mercystars
zuzulous
superguard9
vash_donutangel
quaere_verum_xi
In other news, I actually updated my memories so now you can relive your favorite Chad moments again and again! For three easy payments of $29.95 plus S&H.
A young man in his early thirties approached the huge Catholic Church hesitantly. From the looks of things, everything was already underway. He glanced at a small card in his hand and bustled in, making note of the overcast skies. Funeral weather.
He let a smile touch his lips as he made his way into the most colorful viewing he’d ever seen in his life. Telling people they wouldn’t be let in without a costume worked better than he could have hoped. More than a few of Chad’s family members were insanely creative and it showed. Skirts rustled and sequins glittered while oldies played gleefully from a portable CD player near the front of the church underneath a large banner reading, “Sucks that you’re dead, Chad!” in huge, curly letters.
He tapped a man in a tight police uniform and a cowboy hat on the shoulder, whispering, “Stephen, its time.” He pulled open his glittery, oversized ringleader jacket to reveal a tape. Stephen nodded, grinning with tears in his eyes and grabbed the hand of a scantily clad man in a zippered mask.
The trio made their way up to the front of the Church where a large flat screen was lowering over the crucifix. Chad’s mom, now in her late fifties and wearing a strawberry costume looked each of them up and down from beside the casket and allowed herself a chuckle.
“You’re actually going through with it, Brett?” she asked, giving the ringleader a tentative hug.
Brett smiled and nodded. “Gather the family.” As she bustled off, he changed the track and let the folksy beginning of “Stuck in the Middle with You” sink into the crowd’s mind.
Stephen disappeared into the group and came back with a fleet of sniffling young men in skimpy gold-trimmed angel costumes with big fluffy wings who would later act as pall bearers. They took their places solemnly on either side of the casket.
“Tryin’ to make sense of it all, but I can see it makes no sense at all.”
Brett popped in the videotape and Chad appeared on the screen clad in a lime green suit. After a couple seconds of snickers and giggles off camera, he shushed them with a grin and began his speech to the crowd of extended family and friends.
“I’m sure you’ve all heard about my tragic death. I mean a motorcycle accident while running away from the mafia is news that gets around.” He allowed himself a chuckle. Whispers arose about the nature of his death but quickly quieted as the tape continued. Brett and Stephen held back their own laughter. “I just wanted to say that I love you all and that what’s left of my body had better be in this suit, as per my will.
“Also, John Stamos is here. Thanks Aunt Elizabeth.” John raised his drink in a toast and the rest of the family followed suit.
“Now, I’d like you all to quit your crying and enjoy the party. I assume I’m currently living it up and I’d like you all to do the same.” He winked and gave his last thumbs up. The tape went snowy and the lights dimmed, allowing the dance compilation to shed the family’s inhibitions for them.
Also, since no one will read my kick ass funeral...I tag you! Bwahahahahaha. I call you all out to write your own funerals.
mercystars
zuzulous
superguard9
vash_donutangel
quaere_verum_xi
In other news, I actually updated my memories so now you can relive your favorite Chad moments again and again! For three easy payments of $29.95 plus S&H.