turning over a new leaf
i realized that i need to leave rangeley because all my old entries are just fuckin stupid and life in rangeley is not even acceptable to be called a life. i've fallen into the rangeley lifestyle, which means all of my business is known, and people live to raise bullshit controversy and drama. i try to unwind by "freeing" my mind, drawing, playing my bass, but the thing that works the best is : SHOWS. they pacify me and all the bullshit is drained. speaking of shows, the most recent one i went to was green day. it was fuckin sweet. it was a miracle shanelle an di got in. the fuckin fag on ebay canceled our tickets. insanely enough the box office had some and we had JUST enough money to get us both in. i saw kyle and grant there. i didnt talk to grant. kyle gave me a big hug. i didnt think i'd see him there, but well, small world :) i lost shanelle about 15 minutes into the show. i usually just stay with the people i came with, cuz i dont know anyone else and i dont usually go up to people, but this time i didnt have to. i met shae. he was pretty cool shit. we hung out the whole time. it's kinda shitty that he lives in new hampshire. another person thats too far out of reach. he looked out for me. kept me off the floor, chilled with me when i was half- dead feeling, and made me feel happy, which i havent felt since before i got dumped. i havent been truly embraced like that in awhile and it felt really good. i sit and think if there is anyone somewhat genuine. someone without a one track mind. i hope i dont have to spend my whole life wondering. from what i see, i think you are out for the same things as i am.