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Jul 07, 2006 01:02



ok so my cruise was absolutely amazing! like, seriously, dont even get me started! ill post a bunch of pictures on here later for you guys to see :D :D i met so many new awesome people! im going to miss them so much, but oh well =/ omgomgomg and i ran in to sarah kelley in alaska!!! how awesome and soo unexpected!!! :D :D but my amazing trip came to an end eventually, and at first i wasnt looking forward to it at all, because i never watned it to end..but then once we started flying and stuff i couldnt wait to get home to my bed, my room, my house, my friends, my family, my boyfriend, my daily normal things, and my dog. so we FINALLY got home and i crashed like literally the second i hit my bed. then my dad woke up me up a few hours later at like 9am for breakfast and i ate and crashed again...then my dad woke me up again i dont remember what time it was but i think sometime before or around noon and he gave me the worst news ever...christina, mickey died...thats all he said...my reaction...i shook my head, and said dont lie to me about that, he didnt die and i turned back around and he said...christina, im not lying mickey died while we were away go to mommy's room, shes really upset...so i went to my moms room and she was BALLING...like i dont know if i can remember a time when i saw my mom cry so bad. adn at that moment, i realized he wasnt kidding and i just crawled into bed with my mom and cried and cried and cried...that was the last thing i ever expected, losing mickey, at least not now, he barely had half his life lived. i was looking forward to seeing him so much and it still hasnt hit me that im never going to see him again, and i hate it. i mean i dont know maybe people might think im overreacting or being a baby because its just a dog, but he wasnt just a dog..he was my first dog, my baby, i loved him so much, he was toto, he was so sweet, he knew when something was wrong, he would always come to my room if i was upset and if i was crying, he would lick my tears away...he would lay next to me during the day and follow me around when my mom or dad wasnt home. especially during summer days when i was home doing nothing, it was just me and mickey, hanging out...and now, thats gone. forever. im going to miss him so much.i wish i could see him just one last time..i remember saying goodbye to him before we left...i kneeled down in the morning next to his little house in the kitchen before me and my mom left for the day..and i said mickeyy im going to miss you so much, i love you babyyy and then he just licked my whole face like 293852309482304 times over...and then i watched my mom do the same thing, and she gets upset juts when we leave him..i remember the day when we thought he was going blind this year, my mom was a wreck like you wouldnt beleive, so just imagine her losing him compeltely...that dog was her baby...he never left her side, im going to miss comig home and hearing his tags clang against each other as he runs to the kitchen door to greet me and jump up and down in excitement..ill admit it, i wasnt a fan of walking him, but id give anythign to be able to walk him one last time at least...i just dont undersatnd why...why did he have to go...so anyways..me and my mom layed in bed and cried and eventually fell asleep and i woke up crying each time because i keep having these dreams where i see him and i call his name and my mom says to me...christina, mickey is gone, he died..and i say NO! hes not! i just saw him!! mom! dont you see him! he's right there!! and then he comes to me and lays in my arms..and then i wake up....i miss him...so then after i decided i couldnt sleep or stay in the house i went to take a shower and i open the door and on the inside of the door knob is his little bandana he was wearing before we left for our trip..and then i get in the shower, and his little shampoo is in there..and then after my shower i went to the kitchen and open up the cabinet and i see all of his treats and food and toys...then i see his bowls from the floor are missing...but his little green cat house is still sitting by the door...and we have his little dog gate up for when we kept him in the kitchen...it hurts so bad knowing hes gone forever...i might sound stupid being this upset over it im not sure, but it definitely hurts more than i ever thought it would...i juts keep waiting for him to come walking into my room..tonight when i got home from kates i would usually walk to my moms room to say hi to her and mickey and he would get all excited...but tonight was different, i wouldnt walk into my moms room, because i knew mickey wouldnt be there and id get upset so i juts went straight to my own room..and now im laying in bed with my little stuffed yorkie that mickey used to hate because i guess it looked just like him and he felt threaten and what not, mickey used to bite and attack him soo much..so im laying in bed with him and mickeys old bandana around his neck...my parents might go see my dog tomorrow, i dont konw if i should go or not, im scared to see him lifeless..but this is all i have left of him
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