blah blah bleh.
Long have I semi-abandoned this journal. Like almost everyone else, I sort of moved on to facebook where it is easier to update one liners hourly compared to paragraphs periodically. still, I do check friend's updates everyday but it stops here. Everytime I try to type, this daunting blank square field puts me off... Since, my graphic card can't work (no WoW), and I'm constantly reminded to post something here by my previous post, I should dutifully scribble something here.
Recently, two of my friends - J and G, decied to 放下屠刀, and turn straight. While a bunch of friends were having dinner, a couple of fridays ago, J asked for my comments on his gym routine so, I obliged and replied "Hey Darling....." He shrieked, and there was an awkard silence between the four of us, while the whole restaurant was stared on. "Norman, didn't you know already? I'm turning st#$@^ht.. There are some nice girls that I met in uni... and.. and... I really want to get married and have my own kids!" he said with such joy and euphoria that my temperature instantly shot up to 38.3degrees (hence expalaining my fever last weekend -.-). Another friend of mine, ex-ljer, G, whom recently went back to church (again) (and I heard after the first service he somehow felt the love of God embracing him, felt the Holy Spirit was working in him, and all those all good stuff) was tagged by my friend in her photo album on facebook entitled "my deariest bf", and i went wtf?
Am I being cynical and slowly becoming an atheist? Perhaps, perhaps. Or maybe it's how different I see this issue vesus how they view it. Being gay to me, isn't a commodity, I don't just demand for it today and drop it tomorrow. It is as innate as having makan, sleep, toilet breaks. Hence, I absolutely loathe the term 'alternate lifestyle', Howerver, I do agree that you can have choice, and it is between embracing and supressing. Of course by 'turning st*#$&ht', you can choose deny all desires you have for doing something as per dieting/burning mid night oil, but I akin it to a pressure cooker for all these emotion/desires will eventually pent up into a cathasis or sort - when all your 'sinful/wrong/old' habits undo unto a boy/girl/and-what-nots. When the truth finds you out, it will not be a pretty sight.
Perhaps what disturbed me most, was that these two friend were the 'epitome of gayness'. And just like that - ALAKAZAM! - became straight. Maybe I'm bewildered by this, and maybe I should just give them blessings and shut up. I really needed to get this off my chest, it has been eating me from in the inside for the past few weeks.
On the other hand... Eh. Anyone knows if borders/kino carries books by my latest fling, Edmund White? (:
Recently, two of my friends - J and G, decied to 放下屠刀, and turn straight. While a bunch of friends were having dinner, a couple of fridays ago, J asked for my comments on his gym routine so, I obliged and replied "Hey Darling....." He shrieked, and there was an awkard silence between the four of us, while the whole restaurant was stared on. "Norman, didn't you know already? I'm turning st#$@^ht.. There are some nice girls that I met in uni... and.. and... I really want to get married and have my own kids!" he said with such joy and euphoria that my temperature instantly shot up to 38.3degrees (hence expalaining my fever last weekend -.-). Another friend of mine, ex-ljer, G, whom recently went back to church (again) (and I heard after the first service he somehow felt the love of God embracing him, felt the Holy Spirit was working in him, and all those all good stuff) was tagged by my friend in her photo album on facebook entitled "my deariest bf", and i went wtf?
Am I being cynical and slowly becoming an atheist? Perhaps, perhaps. Or maybe it's how different I see this issue vesus how they view it. Being gay to me, isn't a commodity, I don't just demand for it today and drop it tomorrow. It is as innate as having makan, sleep, toilet breaks. Hence, I absolutely loathe the term 'alternate lifestyle', Howerver, I do agree that you can have choice, and it is between embracing and supressing. Of course by 'turning st*#$&ht', you can choose deny all desires you have for doing something as per dieting/burning mid night oil, but I akin it to a pressure cooker for all these emotion/desires will eventually pent up into a cathasis or sort - when all your 'sinful/wrong/old' habits undo unto a boy/girl/and-what-nots. When the truth finds you out, it will not be a pretty sight.
Perhaps what disturbed me most, was that these two friend were the 'epitome of gayness'. And just like that - ALAKAZAM! - became straight. Maybe I'm bewildered by this, and maybe I should just give them blessings and shut up. I really needed to get this off my chest, it has been eating me from in the inside for the past few weeks.
On the other hand... Eh. Anyone knows if borders/kino carries books by my latest fling, Edmund White? (: