Pulled in so many directions
Over the past four years I had forgotten how great it is to be home in Nashville. It seems as though I grow so much here because of my friends and the opportunities that always arise out of unseen circumstances.
Yet, at the same time, it's so confusing. When I start making plans because I feel like God is pulling me one direction to help benefit my life, He throws another curve ball at me. Not saying that all these curve balls are bad, but this one in particular is going to cause me to make an even longer self sacrifice than what I had anticipated.
So, what is this great curve ball you may ask? I'm going to Alaska in 3 weeks to do mission work with my best friend Lindsey. How exciting, right!!! This is something that I've only dreamed of and that I never imagined I would be able to do in a while; let alone, this year. So, if this has always been a dream of mine and God has placed this massive desire on my heart, isn't that my gut (or the Holy Spirit) telling me that this is a golden opportunity from God that I shouldn't pass up?
Yet, by going on this trip, I will be prolonging the inevitable... Getting a job... which is absolutely necessary and needs to happen ASAP so I can get out of this apartment with my family. It is only by moving and getting out on my own that I may obtain some sanity, to speak frankly.
I heard a song today that I have listened to over and over again... but the lyrics really reached my thoughts today. One line in particular states
"To be the hands and feet of this mystery."
Obviously, the line is speaking about serving God through our actions, but an epiphany came to me while listening to this line. Can this mystery also mean one's calling in life? Do we ever receive a clear statement from God as to what it is that we are to do? Or, do we just pile all of our gifts and opportunities that give us joy together and see which profession enables us to use or participate in most of them? How are we absolutely for certain what it is that God is calling us to do? Is it that "Gut" instinct? And, if so, why does His calling pull us in so many different directions at the same time?
God I pray for clarity. May I hear your still small voice in times of uncertainty. Lead me in your will, no matter how self sacrificing it may be. Give me the strength to always tell the truth, for you have said that it will set us free. Forgive us of our continuous transgressions that we recommit over and over again. I praise you and I'm so grateful that there is nothing we can do that will keep you from loving us. Thank you for allowing me to experience the warmth of being in love with you... thank you for being my beloved, and my bridegroom. Thank you for the incredible opportunities you place before me everyday... may I never pass one up.
Love,
Your daughter
Yet, at the same time, it's so confusing. When I start making plans because I feel like God is pulling me one direction to help benefit my life, He throws another curve ball at me. Not saying that all these curve balls are bad, but this one in particular is going to cause me to make an even longer self sacrifice than what I had anticipated.
So, what is this great curve ball you may ask? I'm going to Alaska in 3 weeks to do mission work with my best friend Lindsey. How exciting, right!!! This is something that I've only dreamed of and that I never imagined I would be able to do in a while; let alone, this year. So, if this has always been a dream of mine and God has placed this massive desire on my heart, isn't that my gut (or the Holy Spirit) telling me that this is a golden opportunity from God that I shouldn't pass up?
Yet, by going on this trip, I will be prolonging the inevitable... Getting a job... which is absolutely necessary and needs to happen ASAP so I can get out of this apartment with my family. It is only by moving and getting out on my own that I may obtain some sanity, to speak frankly.
I heard a song today that I have listened to over and over again... but the lyrics really reached my thoughts today. One line in particular states
"To be the hands and feet of this mystery."
Obviously, the line is speaking about serving God through our actions, but an epiphany came to me while listening to this line. Can this mystery also mean one's calling in life? Do we ever receive a clear statement from God as to what it is that we are to do? Or, do we just pile all of our gifts and opportunities that give us joy together and see which profession enables us to use or participate in most of them? How are we absolutely for certain what it is that God is calling us to do? Is it that "Gut" instinct? And, if so, why does His calling pull us in so many different directions at the same time?
God I pray for clarity. May I hear your still small voice in times of uncertainty. Lead me in your will, no matter how self sacrificing it may be. Give me the strength to always tell the truth, for you have said that it will set us free. Forgive us of our continuous transgressions that we recommit over and over again. I praise you and I'm so grateful that there is nothing we can do that will keep you from loving us. Thank you for allowing me to experience the warmth of being in love with you... thank you for being my beloved, and my bridegroom. Thank you for the incredible opportunities you place before me everyday... may I never pass one up.
Love,
Your daughter