Suitcases chapter 30
Chapter 30
Sian pov
Today was Christmas Eve. Me and Sophie had promised the kids we would celebrate Christmas together, so here I was trying to find an outfit for tonight. I hadn’t seen Sophie since that day in the hospital…Derek was keeping me updated on how she was, but it wasn’t the same. I wanted to be there with her, I didn’t want her to be alone during her recovery. I sighed for the 100th time looking at myself in the mirror. I’d been such a mess these couple of weeks….Me and Laura had been trying to get back where we were. I knew I hurt her and I was paying the price. It was never my intention to hurt her… and she understood that. When I told her I was spending Christmas with Sophie you could say she was less than pleased with me, but she let it go.
One glance in that mirror made me travel back.
…
“You look beautiful” I heard her say behind me as I saw her walking towards me in the mirror. She snaked her hands around my waist and kissed my neck. “mmmhmm” I smiled in content leaning into her. “You’re gonna give your colleagues a heart attack Soph” I stated quietly as she chuckled and kissed my neck tenderly. As I heard the noise downstairs, I started getting a bit anxious; I had never met Sophie’s work pals. I fiddled with my fingers as she turned me around.
“Hey… it’s gonna be okay” she said to me as I smiled nervously looking down at the floor. She put her finger under my chin and lifted it. I sighed as I felt a lump growing in my throat. “Hey come here” she said enveloping in a hug. I breathed in her scent as she stroked my hair. “Baby is this too much for you, cause if you’re feeling anxious we can just…” she started saying as I silenced her with a kiss. “If you’re with me… I’ll be fine” I said to her. “You sure… this is the first real party you’ve been to ...” she stated as I sighed once more.
“I know” I said sadly as she cupped my face. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean it like that, I just worry” she stated looking at me intensely. “I know you do… I love you for it” I smiled at her as I kissed her again, this time more passionately. As I let my tongue graze across her mouth she started moaning quietly. “Sian babe…” she moaned as I attacked her neck letting my hand cup her breast as I pushed her against the wall. She pushed me off her gently as she smirked at me. “We don’t have time for this… is this your way of postponing going to that party” She smirked as I frowned. “No.. of course not” I said sternly as I stepped away from her turning around back to the mirror. “I just got carried away” I muttered as she wrapped her arms around my shoulders from behind. “Let’s go then” she stated kissing my cheek as I smiled taking her hand in mine.
…
“Siaaaan are you ready yet” I heard Matty yell from the stairs. “Yes baby” I said to him as I put on my earrings and grabbed my purse. I headed downstairs as Chesney was holding Lily in his arms. She looked so pretty in her little green dress and her white hat and coat. “Christmas hihihihihi!” Matty started jumping up and down in his handsome clothes. “It’s not Christmas yet” Chesney stated as he shrugged him off.
“Lily! Santa is coming tonight” He stated looking at his sister in full bliss. “Let’s go, you’re mum will be waiting” I stated as we headed outside. “How is she” I asked Chesney quietly as he smiled shyly. “She’s got good and bad days, they have her on a lighter form of therapy now, cause of the surgery” he stated. “What?” I asked him bewildered. “Didn’t she tell you” he asked me as I rolled my eyes at him.
“For f...Pete’s sake Chesney she hasn’t said a word to me since the hospital” I said to him as he shuffled awkwardly. “Sorry” he muttered as we all got into the car. “Seatbelts” I said as I looked behind me checking Lily and math as Math was grinning widely showing me he put his seatbelt on. “Good lad” I smiled at him as I started the engine.
“Sophie we’re here” Chesney yelled into the home. I entered noticing our decorations we used to put up together. I never really got to put them up properly in this house… last year I had to do it on my own. I sighed at the memory. It all went downhill from there.
…
“Soph” I smiled tenderly as she looked up at me. “Hey” she sniggered as I kissed her lips tenderly. “It’s nearly Christmas” I stated as I sat on her lap shuffling her computer aside. “Yeah it is… and your birthday” she smiled at me. “And that” I said as I wrapped my arms around her shoulders. “You want to put the decorations up with me I said to her as she looked down. “What” I murmured as she sighed. “I...I have a really big deadline by the end of the week…I’m sorry baby…I” she started stuttering as I furrowed my brows. “Well you can spear an hour or 2 can’t you” I asked her hopefully as she looked at me, I could see the answer in her eyes. “But we always decorate together… I …” I sighed by the end I finished my sentence. “I’m sorry” she whispered snaking her hands around me as I nodded looking down.
“I’ll make it up to you” she stated as I diverted my gaze. “How” I couldn’t help but ask as she tightened her grip on my waist. “I’ll do whatever you want” she stated as I looked her in the eyes. “Will you be able to take me out on my birthday” I asked scared of the answer. “Of course I will… babe, I would never leave you by yourself on your birthday” she stated as I smiled sighing in relief. “Do you still love me” I asked seriously as her eyes widened. “Of course I do… why would you even question that” she said frowning at me. “I just… you’ve been a bit… distant lately, I just needed to hear it” I said honestly as she sighed hugging me tenderly. I couldn’t help but hug her back, I missed the body contact. “I’m sorry… work has been stressful…I love you so much, and I never want you to feel unloved… cause I do love you” she said as I rested my head on her shoulder with her rubbing my back.
“I just miss you” I whispered as she sighed hugging me tightly. “I miss you too… and I will make this up to you, I promise” she stated.
…
“Soph you in here… Sophie” Chesney shouted but no response. All of the sudden panic struck me as I ran up the stairs, fearing the worst. “Soph” I shouted breathlessly as I entered her room. She was putting on her make up with head pieces in her ears as I sighed in relief. She froze in her actions as she noticed me standing in the doorway.
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Sophie pov
“Hi” I said as I saw her in the mirror. “Hi” she replied as I looked away awkwardly. I didn’t really know why she was standing in my doorway. She realized my thoughts as she started talking. “You didn’t answer… I got..I was scared that you might…I’m sorry” she stuttered as she started heading out. I felt guilty for worrying her. I chased after her grabbing her arm. “Wait… I’m alright” I stated as her body relaxed. “I’ve been doing alright” I said as she smiled. “That’s good Soph” she said to me as I fixed my hair and we headed down.
“There they are” Chesney cheered as Derek stood in the hallway. “Hey Derek” I said hugging him. “How’s the belly” he asked quietly. “Alright, just a bit sore” I stated as I saw Sian gaze burn into me. “Hey” she said quietly as she kissed his cheek.
“Mum” Matty screamed as he noticed my gaze. I hadn’t seen him in a while, the surgery took up all my energy and I couldn’t see them as often. “Hi” I sniggered as her ran over to me hugging me fiercely. “Awh I missed you… where’s your sister” I asked him as he pointed to Chesney and Sian standing in the living room with Lily at their feet.
“Hey baby girl” I said as I went over to her. I wanted to crutch down but couldn’t, due to my injury. Sian noticed my problem and picked Lily up, holding her up to me so I could greet her. “Mummy” she squealed kicking her legs up as I tried to hug her. I struggled as Sian was still holding on to her. “Fuck it” I thought as I wrapped my arms around them both, startling Sian a bit. “I missed you” I whispered as Sian looked at me with those 2 intense blue orbs.
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“Though the weather outside is frightful, but the fire is so delightful… since we got no place to go, let it snow, let it snow, let it snoooooow” We all sang after we finished Christmas dinner. I excused myself from the table as I wasn’t feeling so well. 2 minutes after I got to the bathroom, I heard her footsteps…those familiar footsteps. “Sian… I told you, I just needed to…” I started saying as she sat down on the bathtub. “… I just… I want to make sure you’re okay” she stated as I sighed.
“Well I’m okay now so…” I huffed as she sighed quietly clutching on to a small package. “Merry Christmas Sophie” She stated as she looked at me. “It’s not Christmas yet” I stated as she looked on her watch. “2 more minutes… right enough time for you to open your present” she chuckled.
…
“Honey…. I’m really gonna time you, you know… Jesus how can you open your present this slow” Sian laughed as I slapped her arm. “I enjoy it okay” I stated as she tried to hold in her laughter. “Stop it” I mouthed as Matty started giggling making my eyes roll. “Fine laugh all you want… at least I take my time, unlike you two who tear those paper packages apart” I stated as she started chuckling. “You’re right honey… I’m sorry” she stated honestly as she kissed my lips tenderly making Matty groan. “Eeeeww” he pouted as we pulled out of the kiss.
“You wait until you meet someone you want to kiss” Sian sniggered as Math scrunched up his face. “Nooooo never” he yammered running out of the living room leaving me and Sian on our own. “Well at least now we can kiss without gagging sounds in the background” she sniggered kissing me more passionately. “Sian” I chuckled.
…
“Shut up” I smirked as she handed me the package. “Why didn’t you just put it under the Christmas tree” I asked her. “Cause I didn’t want this under the Christmas tree, I’ve got plenty of other gifts under there” she stated as I started unwrapping the package slowly as she held her breath. As the paper fell from the gift revealing a pillow. I quirked up an eyebrow as she smirked. “You always loved the smell of my clothes when I came back from the shop, so you wanted something that would always smell like that remember” she said to me as I looked back.
…
“God you smell nice” I said burying my head in her neck. “I mean you already smell amazing on your own, but when you come back from the shop… Gooooood” I moaned as she raised an eyebrow. “You’re almost getting turned on” She smirked as I smiled. “Well duh” I said kissing her fiercely. “Too bad I don’t have that smell to remind me of you the whole day ay” I whispered in her mouth. “Well when I do you’ll be the first one to know” she sniggered.
…
“I remember” I smiled. “It smells of violets… my favorites” I stated as she sniggered. “I know” she stated. “Look at the back…” she said as I turned the pillow around revealing little texts of her, Matty, Chesney, Derek, ….
“I haven’t read any of them, I wrote mine firstly so” she smiled as I started reading everything.
I know you love this smell…
I just wanted you to know I’d never really leave you. x Sian
My heart fluttered when I read this as I kicked myself mentally for doing so. I kept reading and came across Matty’s school handwriting.
Hi mum, I know you’re ill and that you don’t always have the time to play with us, but I love you very much and so does Lily. We missed you loads after they opened up your tummy, I hope you’re feeling better. We love you mum. Matty and Lily xxx
I almost cried reading, I wanted rush down and hug them both. I sniffed as I looked at Sian. “Math” she murmured as I nodded smiling widely.
Hey stranger… I’ve known you my whole life Soph and I never want to lose you. Your my best friend, stay right where you are ;) Ches’
hey babes, you’ve given me more chances that I actually deserve, you’re a good sister and I love you. Stay cool soph. Rosie xxxxxxxx
I chuckled as I read Rosie’s handwriting. All the x’s gave her away.
Hey trouble. I know you might not like my comments or smirks, but I still love ya. I know you’re having a rough patch, but you’ll get through this, us Saint Claire girls are strong. Kathy
I smiled as I saw Kathy words. “Us Saint Claire girls” my thoughts echoed. “It’s amazing Sian” I said to her, I wanted to hug her so badly… but like always everything, the past and present held me back. “Thank you” I said as she smiled getting up. “Are you feeling better” she asked as I nodded. “Yeah… after this” I said holding out the pillow. “I’m much better” I stated as she chuckled heading down the stairs.
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“IT’S CHRISTMAS!!!!” Matty screamed through the house at 6am. I sighed deeply as I heard Sian’s voice outside my room. “Math… what did I say about screaming, for all we know your mum was sleeping” she hissed as I smiled. “Sorry… can I wake her” he asked as I rolled my eyes. “Some things never change” I muttered. “Okay, but gently alright. No jumping on her bed, no screaming… very gently okay Math.
“Mum” he whispered entering my room as I chuckled rolling my eyes. “I’m already awake” I laughed as I got up. “It’s Christmas” he said clearly holding in his squeals and excitement. “I know… why don’t we all head down and open them presents ay” I sniggered as he tried to suppress his shout but couldn’t hold in any longer and started jumping up and down. “Yay” he said quietly. “Just go … trouble” I said as I pushed him out of my room hearing him scream the place down. “Math…” I heard Sian started as I stopped her. “It’s alright” I said to her as she smiled.
“Soph… thanks for letting me stay” she said as I shrugged. “It’s better for the kids” I stated quietly as I could see her nod in the mirror. “Only the kids” she said to me. “Sian…” I sighed turning around. “What… I was just wondering if you might be happy to see me too” she muttered as I smiled mentally, but sighed anyways. “You know I am but… why are you doing this” I asked her as she looked up. “For months you pushed me away and now that I don’t want this anymore, you’re trying to get back into that old routine” I sighed as she nodded. “I’m sorry… I know I’m messing with your mind and it’s not fair… I just… I guess I wanted you to fight for me” she stated as I sighed once more. “I did Sian” I said to her as she looked at me in hurt.
“I know you did…. I just needed a bit more time and now…you do… we really suck at timing” she stated as I chuckled, but my heart ached. “Yeah” I croaked out. “Soph… if I could take it back..” she started saying as I looked down. “I know… I just can’t right now, and I’m not sure you can either… you’re still hurt I can see it in your eyes” I stated as she nodded. “I know” she whispered.
“Let’s just enjoy Christmas and… I don’t know…” I started saying as she finished my sentence. “Move on?” she said to me as I scoffed. “That word has had it use in this relationship don’t you think” I stated as she smiled shyly. “Just go on with our lives, I don’t know about the future… I don’t own a crystal ball, but… hhhh” I sighed.
“Muuuum, Siaaaaaaaaaaan lets go chop chop! I want to open my presents!!!!” Math yammered stomping his feet at the bottom of the stairs as we both chuckle. “Let’s go then” I stated as she followed me.
Sian pov
Today was Christmas Eve. Me and Sophie had promised the kids we would celebrate Christmas together, so here I was trying to find an outfit for tonight. I hadn’t seen Sophie since that day in the hospital…Derek was keeping me updated on how she was, but it wasn’t the same. I wanted to be there with her, I didn’t want her to be alone during her recovery. I sighed for the 100th time looking at myself in the mirror. I’d been such a mess these couple of weeks….Me and Laura had been trying to get back where we were. I knew I hurt her and I was paying the price. It was never my intention to hurt her… and she understood that. When I told her I was spending Christmas with Sophie you could say she was less than pleased with me, but she let it go.
One glance in that mirror made me travel back.
…
“You look beautiful” I heard her say behind me as I saw her walking towards me in the mirror. She snaked her hands around my waist and kissed my neck. “mmmhmm” I smiled in content leaning into her. “You’re gonna give your colleagues a heart attack Soph” I stated quietly as she chuckled and kissed my neck tenderly. As I heard the noise downstairs, I started getting a bit anxious; I had never met Sophie’s work pals. I fiddled with my fingers as she turned me around.
“Hey… it’s gonna be okay” she said to me as I smiled nervously looking down at the floor. She put her finger under my chin and lifted it. I sighed as I felt a lump growing in my throat. “Hey come here” she said enveloping in a hug. I breathed in her scent as she stroked my hair. “Baby is this too much for you, cause if you’re feeling anxious we can just…” she started saying as I silenced her with a kiss. “If you’re with me… I’ll be fine” I said to her. “You sure… this is the first real party you’ve been to ...” she stated as I sighed once more.
“I know” I said sadly as she cupped my face. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean it like that, I just worry” she stated looking at me intensely. “I know you do… I love you for it” I smiled at her as I kissed her again, this time more passionately. As I let my tongue graze across her mouth she started moaning quietly. “Sian babe…” she moaned as I attacked her neck letting my hand cup her breast as I pushed her against the wall. She pushed me off her gently as she smirked at me. “We don’t have time for this… is this your way of postponing going to that party” She smirked as I frowned. “No.. of course not” I said sternly as I stepped away from her turning around back to the mirror. “I just got carried away” I muttered as she wrapped her arms around my shoulders from behind. “Let’s go then” she stated kissing my cheek as I smiled taking her hand in mine.
…
“Siaaaan are you ready yet” I heard Matty yell from the stairs. “Yes baby” I said to him as I put on my earrings and grabbed my purse. I headed downstairs as Chesney was holding Lily in his arms. She looked so pretty in her little green dress and her white hat and coat. “Christmas hihihihihi!” Matty started jumping up and down in his handsome clothes. “It’s not Christmas yet” Chesney stated as he shrugged him off.
“Lily! Santa is coming tonight” He stated looking at his sister in full bliss. “Let’s go, you’re mum will be waiting” I stated as we headed outside. “How is she” I asked Chesney quietly as he smiled shyly. “She’s got good and bad days, they have her on a lighter form of therapy now, cause of the surgery” he stated. “What?” I asked him bewildered. “Didn’t she tell you” he asked me as I rolled my eyes at him.
“For f...Pete’s sake Chesney she hasn’t said a word to me since the hospital” I said to him as he shuffled awkwardly. “Sorry” he muttered as we all got into the car. “Seatbelts” I said as I looked behind me checking Lily and math as Math was grinning widely showing me he put his seatbelt on. “Good lad” I smiled at him as I started the engine.
“Sophie we’re here” Chesney yelled into the home. I entered noticing our decorations we used to put up together. I never really got to put them up properly in this house… last year I had to do it on my own. I sighed at the memory. It all went downhill from there.
…
“Soph” I smiled tenderly as she looked up at me. “Hey” she sniggered as I kissed her lips tenderly. “It’s nearly Christmas” I stated as I sat on her lap shuffling her computer aside. “Yeah it is… and your birthday” she smiled at me. “And that” I said as I wrapped my arms around her shoulders. “You want to put the decorations up with me I said to her as she looked down. “What” I murmured as she sighed. “I...I have a really big deadline by the end of the week…I’m sorry baby…I” she started stuttering as I furrowed my brows. “Well you can spear an hour or 2 can’t you” I asked her hopefully as she looked at me, I could see the answer in her eyes. “But we always decorate together… I …” I sighed by the end I finished my sentence. “I’m sorry” she whispered snaking her hands around me as I nodded looking down.
“I’ll make it up to you” she stated as I diverted my gaze. “How” I couldn’t help but ask as she tightened her grip on my waist. “I’ll do whatever you want” she stated as I looked her in the eyes. “Will you be able to take me out on my birthday” I asked scared of the answer. “Of course I will… babe, I would never leave you by yourself on your birthday” she stated as I smiled sighing in relief. “Do you still love me” I asked seriously as her eyes widened. “Of course I do… why would you even question that” she said frowning at me. “I just… you’ve been a bit… distant lately, I just needed to hear it” I said honestly as she sighed hugging me tenderly. I couldn’t help but hug her back, I missed the body contact. “I’m sorry… work has been stressful…I love you so much, and I never want you to feel unloved… cause I do love you” she said as I rested my head on her shoulder with her rubbing my back.
“I just miss you” I whispered as she sighed hugging me tightly. “I miss you too… and I will make this up to you, I promise” she stated.
…
“Soph you in here… Sophie” Chesney shouted but no response. All of the sudden panic struck me as I ran up the stairs, fearing the worst. “Soph” I shouted breathlessly as I entered her room. She was putting on her make up with head pieces in her ears as I sighed in relief. She froze in her actions as she noticed me standing in the doorway.
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Sophie pov
“Hi” I said as I saw her in the mirror. “Hi” she replied as I looked away awkwardly. I didn’t really know why she was standing in my doorway. She realized my thoughts as she started talking. “You didn’t answer… I got..I was scared that you might…I’m sorry” she stuttered as she started heading out. I felt guilty for worrying her. I chased after her grabbing her arm. “Wait… I’m alright” I stated as her body relaxed. “I’ve been doing alright” I said as she smiled. “That’s good Soph” she said to me as I fixed my hair and we headed down.
“There they are” Chesney cheered as Derek stood in the hallway. “Hey Derek” I said hugging him. “How’s the belly” he asked quietly. “Alright, just a bit sore” I stated as I saw Sian gaze burn into me. “Hey” she said quietly as she kissed his cheek.
“Mum” Matty screamed as he noticed my gaze. I hadn’t seen him in a while, the surgery took up all my energy and I couldn’t see them as often. “Hi” I sniggered as her ran over to me hugging me fiercely. “Awh I missed you… where’s your sister” I asked him as he pointed to Chesney and Sian standing in the living room with Lily at their feet.
“Hey baby girl” I said as I went over to her. I wanted to crutch down but couldn’t, due to my injury. Sian noticed my problem and picked Lily up, holding her up to me so I could greet her. “Mummy” she squealed kicking her legs up as I tried to hug her. I struggled as Sian was still holding on to her. “Fuck it” I thought as I wrapped my arms around them both, startling Sian a bit. “I missed you” I whispered as Sian looked at me with those 2 intense blue orbs.
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“Though the weather outside is frightful, but the fire is so delightful… since we got no place to go, let it snow, let it snow, let it snoooooow” We all sang after we finished Christmas dinner. I excused myself from the table as I wasn’t feeling so well. 2 minutes after I got to the bathroom, I heard her footsteps…those familiar footsteps. “Sian… I told you, I just needed to…” I started saying as she sat down on the bathtub. “… I just… I want to make sure you’re okay” she stated as I sighed.
“Well I’m okay now so…” I huffed as she sighed quietly clutching on to a small package. “Merry Christmas Sophie” She stated as she looked at me. “It’s not Christmas yet” I stated as she looked on her watch. “2 more minutes… right enough time for you to open your present” she chuckled.
…
“Honey…. I’m really gonna time you, you know… Jesus how can you open your present this slow” Sian laughed as I slapped her arm. “I enjoy it okay” I stated as she tried to hold in her laughter. “Stop it” I mouthed as Matty started giggling making my eyes roll. “Fine laugh all you want… at least I take my time, unlike you two who tear those paper packages apart” I stated as she started chuckling. “You’re right honey… I’m sorry” she stated honestly as she kissed my lips tenderly making Matty groan. “Eeeeww” he pouted as we pulled out of the kiss.
“You wait until you meet someone you want to kiss” Sian sniggered as Math scrunched up his face. “Nooooo never” he yammered running out of the living room leaving me and Sian on our own. “Well at least now we can kiss without gagging sounds in the background” she sniggered kissing me more passionately. “Sian” I chuckled.
…
“Shut up” I smirked as she handed me the package. “Why didn’t you just put it under the Christmas tree” I asked her. “Cause I didn’t want this under the Christmas tree, I’ve got plenty of other gifts under there” she stated as I started unwrapping the package slowly as she held her breath. As the paper fell from the gift revealing a pillow. I quirked up an eyebrow as she smirked. “You always loved the smell of my clothes when I came back from the shop, so you wanted something that would always smell like that remember” she said to me as I looked back.
…
“God you smell nice” I said burying my head in her neck. “I mean you already smell amazing on your own, but when you come back from the shop… Gooooood” I moaned as she raised an eyebrow. “You’re almost getting turned on” She smirked as I smiled. “Well duh” I said kissing her fiercely. “Too bad I don’t have that smell to remind me of you the whole day ay” I whispered in her mouth. “Well when I do you’ll be the first one to know” she sniggered.
…
“I remember” I smiled. “It smells of violets… my favorites” I stated as she sniggered. “I know” she stated. “Look at the back…” she said as I turned the pillow around revealing little texts of her, Matty, Chesney, Derek, ….
“I haven’t read any of them, I wrote mine firstly so” she smiled as I started reading everything.
I know you love this smell…
I just wanted you to know I’d never really leave you. x Sian
My heart fluttered when I read this as I kicked myself mentally for doing so. I kept reading and came across Matty’s school handwriting.
Hi mum, I know you’re ill and that you don’t always have the time to play with us, but I love you very much and so does Lily. We missed you loads after they opened up your tummy, I hope you’re feeling better. We love you mum. Matty and Lily xxx
I almost cried reading, I wanted rush down and hug them both. I sniffed as I looked at Sian. “Math” she murmured as I nodded smiling widely.
Hey stranger… I’ve known you my whole life Soph and I never want to lose you. Your my best friend, stay right where you are ;) Ches’
hey babes, you’ve given me more chances that I actually deserve, you’re a good sister and I love you. Stay cool soph. Rosie xxxxxxxx
I chuckled as I read Rosie’s handwriting. All the x’s gave her away.
Hey trouble. I know you might not like my comments or smirks, but I still love ya. I know you’re having a rough patch, but you’ll get through this, us Saint Claire girls are strong. Kathy
I smiled as I saw Kathy words. “Us Saint Claire girls” my thoughts echoed. “It’s amazing Sian” I said to her, I wanted to hug her so badly… but like always everything, the past and present held me back. “Thank you” I said as she smiled getting up. “Are you feeling better” she asked as I nodded. “Yeah… after this” I said holding out the pillow. “I’m much better” I stated as she chuckled heading down the stairs.
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“IT’S CHRISTMAS!!!!” Matty screamed through the house at 6am. I sighed deeply as I heard Sian’s voice outside my room. “Math… what did I say about screaming, for all we know your mum was sleeping” she hissed as I smiled. “Sorry… can I wake her” he asked as I rolled my eyes. “Some things never change” I muttered. “Okay, but gently alright. No jumping on her bed, no screaming… very gently okay Math.
“Mum” he whispered entering my room as I chuckled rolling my eyes. “I’m already awake” I laughed as I got up. “It’s Christmas” he said clearly holding in his squeals and excitement. “I know… why don’t we all head down and open them presents ay” I sniggered as he tried to suppress his shout but couldn’t hold in any longer and started jumping up and down. “Yay” he said quietly. “Just go … trouble” I said as I pushed him out of my room hearing him scream the place down. “Math…” I heard Sian started as I stopped her. “It’s alright” I said to her as she smiled.
“Soph… thanks for letting me stay” she said as I shrugged. “It’s better for the kids” I stated quietly as I could see her nod in the mirror. “Only the kids” she said to me. “Sian…” I sighed turning around. “What… I was just wondering if you might be happy to see me too” she muttered as I smiled mentally, but sighed anyways. “You know I am but… why are you doing this” I asked her as she looked up. “For months you pushed me away and now that I don’t want this anymore, you’re trying to get back into that old routine” I sighed as she nodded. “I’m sorry… I know I’m messing with your mind and it’s not fair… I just… I guess I wanted you to fight for me” she stated as I sighed once more. “I did Sian” I said to her as she looked at me in hurt.
“I know you did…. I just needed a bit more time and now…you do… we really suck at timing” she stated as I chuckled, but my heart ached. “Yeah” I croaked out. “Soph… if I could take it back..” she started saying as I looked down. “I know… I just can’t right now, and I’m not sure you can either… you’re still hurt I can see it in your eyes” I stated as she nodded. “I know” she whispered.
“Let’s just enjoy Christmas and… I don’t know…” I started saying as she finished my sentence. “Move on?” she said to me as I scoffed. “That word has had it use in this relationship don’t you think” I stated as she smiled shyly. “Just go on with our lives, I don’t know about the future… I don’t own a crystal ball, but… hhhh” I sighed.
“Muuuum, Siaaaaaaaaaaan lets go chop chop! I want to open my presents!!!!” Math yammered stomping his feet at the bottom of the stairs as we both chuckle. “Let’s go then” I stated as she followed me.