tiredness
the past 48 hours have gone by in a whirlwind and been kinda crazy. friday night was hella busy. i worked a double, and we were on a wait for almost 5 hours. i made nice $$, but damn i was tired. didn't get to hang out with katie or anyone b/c i didn't get off until after midnight. then after i got home, the damn pipes backed up and we had a swamp in the kitchen. after helping mom mop it up i crawled into bed after 2. barbara and i left for crosville at 7 and got there about 10am saturday. barbara, lauren, cori, and i all hung out for the day.. it was lots of fun inbetween drama and depression.(long story) i was so excited about cori meeting barbara, since on new year's day she was supposed to meet katie and audra but didn't get to. they both really like each other, which rocks. i HATE living 4 hours from her. it's torture every time i have to leave. and each subsequent time, it gets worse because i fall more in love with her every damn day. when i leave, i feel like i'm going away from home and comfort and security. it's strange, because i don't like the city she lives in, but because it's hers.. it feels more like home than home to me. barbara and i talked a lot. about holly. about cori. about relationships in general. i realized i'm still pretty much terrified of being hurt again the way i was with lindsey. i guess it is a good sign that barbara can tell how much cori cares about me? and i know it's a good sign that i can see it in her eyes when she says she loves me, i can feel it. that's one of the best feelings in the world. *sigh* we cuddled before i had to leave, and if i had to pick a favorite thing we do, it would be that. i love to cuddle, i love holding her. i just want to be next to her, in her presence. she is radiant. and the crazy thing is, she doesn't even know it.
she makes me high
she makes me high