(no subject)
On the telephone, my mum asks me through a yawn what I've been doing with myself on this side of the world. "I am working through my classes. More slowly than I would like, especially since I've taken so much time off in the past, and I will get my second degree, and I will become the teacher and eventually the professor that I've always known I could be..."
She knows my studies are not taking up all of my time. I've been hesitant to tell her about my new relationship, not because it is anything but wonderful, but because she loves Liam so dearly and she thinks that I just need to grow up and go home and that we'll pick up where we left off and start a family.
This, of course, is never going to happen. To avoid an argument, I avoid discussing men altogether. My mum asks how I am filling up my days. Today, I couldn't hold it in any longer.
"After a twelve hour day of waitressing, bartending, and researching in the library, I come home in the evenings to the open arms of a man who knows how to hold me, and I have learned how to let him. He really is wonderful, intelligent, ruggedly handsome, charasmatic and warm. He wraps his arms around me without ever squeezing too hard, literally and metaphorically. I can now say with certainty that I have foud someone who makes me feel good about myself and about my life, and I never thought it could be this easy to be with anyone. P. takes me just as I am. He asks for nothing more and expects nothing less. I was with Liam for the better part of seven years, and yet. I've never felt so mature in a relationship, I have never been more secure in myself. There are bumps in the road, but we know how to work through them; this is adulthood. I find my cynicism slipping through the cracks and I am able to believe in that crazy notion of love that sometimes creeps up between two people once more."
She said, "That's lovely, darling," and yawned again.
I might be boring, but I am certainly happy. I wouldn't trade it for all the excitement on earth.
She knows my studies are not taking up all of my time. I've been hesitant to tell her about my new relationship, not because it is anything but wonderful, but because she loves Liam so dearly and she thinks that I just need to grow up and go home and that we'll pick up where we left off and start a family.
This, of course, is never going to happen. To avoid an argument, I avoid discussing men altogether. My mum asks how I am filling up my days. Today, I couldn't hold it in any longer.
"After a twelve hour day of waitressing, bartending, and researching in the library, I come home in the evenings to the open arms of a man who knows how to hold me, and I have learned how to let him. He really is wonderful, intelligent, ruggedly handsome, charasmatic and warm. He wraps his arms around me without ever squeezing too hard, literally and metaphorically. I can now say with certainty that I have foud someone who makes me feel good about myself and about my life, and I never thought it could be this easy to be with anyone. P. takes me just as I am. He asks for nothing more and expects nothing less. I was with Liam for the better part of seven years, and yet. I've never felt so mature in a relationship, I have never been more secure in myself. There are bumps in the road, but we know how to work through them; this is adulthood. I find my cynicism slipping through the cracks and I am able to believe in that crazy notion of love that sometimes creeps up between two people once more."
She said, "That's lovely, darling," and yawned again.
I might be boring, but I am certainly happy. I wouldn't trade it for all the excitement on earth.