(no subject)
You are:
1) what you do
2) why you do it
I think there was a time I hated myself, or at least seriously disliked something I was doing.
I remember there was another time when I wanted to be like someone, but then nothing came of it and I realised how stupid it was so that was alright. I didn't hate myself because of that.
I used to pride myself on being multi-talented. I am. I work hard at being good at certain things, enough to be impressive at certain times. And it's something that I genuinely have a passion for. Not just to impress people. I practised and practised and perfected and continued.
I became what I did.
I was the guy who cubed, the guy who juggled, the guy who would beatbox occaisonally, top in maths, had seven hobbies and was perfecting them all at the same time. I wanted to do more.
I think my problem was that I assumed that everyone could do what I could, they just needed to want to.
Everyone's character was the same to me. Everyone's character was the same as me. Only what they did, or what they achieved set them apart. So I judged them as such. By the distinctions they had, the CCA they were in, the friends they had, the people they liked, the books they read, their taste in shoes, the number of medals they had to show for. I think I was looking for wrong things. When I should have been asking
why?
I never asked the question until someone asked me. And you know what? buggered if I know.
Army's good that way. It changed me a lot. It showed me that not everyone's like me. Some of them just aren't very nice people. Some are just absolute bastards. It showed me I can be an absolute bastard. It showed me that people have reasons for doing things. Different from mine.
The best time of my life:
Telling me why she's an atheist.
Telling me why that everything in the world is possible.
Telling me what sort of music he wants to make.
Telling me that dream he had.
Telling me that story she wrote.
a room, a teacher, classmates, a lesson, viciously being ignored by two individuals, only ever wanting to learn the mind hidden behind mask.