The lie
My sister blocked me from seeing her facebook wall. When I first realized she'd done it, I stared blankly at the screen, and my only thought was: "...seriously?" I follow lamebook. I read a variety of STFU tumblr's. I'm the kind of person to laugh at facebook drama--but I don't actually experience it.
The weirdest part was, there was no reason or real provocation for her to do it. A few days earlier I had a talk with her about my concerns that she wasn't prioritizing her health (she'd dislocated a second knee due to her obesity). The conversation didn't get ugly or shouty--it was relatively brief, albeit pretty candid.
And then, she blocked me. Since we're both busy with school, facebook had become an easy way to keep tabs on what was going on in one another's lives, so the block meant I was shut out from basic updates--nothing profound, but enough to be "in the loop". I texted her to clarify the situation. After several hours she replied, telling me that she'd blocked EVERYONE because she didn't want potential employers to see it.
Except that didn't make any sense. She could have just made her wall private to non-friends, not to mention that she hasn't even graduated and won't be looking for jobs until May. Regardless, my sister can make weird choices--so I gave her the benefit of the doubt, with a remaining percentage of possibility that she wasn't telling the truth.
A week later, I saw that my cousin (who became my "replacement" after my sister and I had a falling out several years ago) posted something on my sister's wall. I couldn't be entirely sure it happened after the block, so I didn't say anything about it. Then another week went by and again, my cousin posted several things on my sister's wall. She even wrote: "I know I'm blowing up your fb wall today, deal with it!"
Soooo there it was.
My sister lied. Over FACEBOOK.
The thing is--I don't associate with liars. I can count on one hand the number of times someone has told me a verified lie in the past six years, and they were HUGE relationship ending lies. Lying is a big deal. There's no need for it. You're either mature enough to tell the truth, disciplined enough to keep your mouth shut, or a chicken shit, and someone I don't want to associate with.
I texted her one line: "[Our cousin] can still post on your facebook wall." (Meaning: "You clearly lied when you said you'd blocked everyone. Care to explain?")
But this time, she ignored it. Which, in the language of my sister, means "I got caught and I don't want to deal with this, leave me alone."
I let two days go by, then blocked her in return. I figured it was the appropriate consequence for lying, since she clearly thought she "got away with it." Weeks had gone by with this lie being accepted as truth. We'd had several chats during those weeks, and she acted like everything was ok. She'd had AMPLE opportunity to talk about whatever latent issues she apparently has with me, but instead, decided to live in the lie.
So that's where we stand, now. Over the past couple months she'd already been making it clear she'd changed her mind about wanting a relationship with me, so in a way it's not overly surprising. We hadn't been close before I moved back to the area, but when I returned, she indicated she wanted to rebuild our friendship. She initiated. She asked me to get closer to her. But apparently what she'd really wanted was someone she could control and dominate (like my cousin), or someone to kiss her ass. As soon as she got bored and I got too honest, she was done.
Not that she's verified any of this. She still hasn't tried to speak with me. Her next course of action was to delete my website from her fb info page, which she's had on there for years. Nail in the coffin or something.
This whole thing is so, so stupid. I vacillate between feeling apathetic, bemused, annoyed, confused, and angry. I'm ok being estranged from her, I've seen enough of her true colors lately to be pretty turned off. But at the same time--there's NO REASON for any of this. She could have just let our relationship get naturally distanced. She could have continued avoiding me and JR when she visits my parents. But instead, she decided to initiate some seriously petty bullshit for...what? For no reason.
Next, I'm just waiting for her to remove me from her "sisters" listing. My cousin is also listed as a sister, and she added me after I moved back. But, I wouldn't be surprised if I became sibling-less sometime soon.
The weirdest part was, there was no reason or real provocation for her to do it. A few days earlier I had a talk with her about my concerns that she wasn't prioritizing her health (she'd dislocated a second knee due to her obesity). The conversation didn't get ugly or shouty--it was relatively brief, albeit pretty candid.
And then, she blocked me. Since we're both busy with school, facebook had become an easy way to keep tabs on what was going on in one another's lives, so the block meant I was shut out from basic updates--nothing profound, but enough to be "in the loop". I texted her to clarify the situation. After several hours she replied, telling me that she'd blocked EVERYONE because she didn't want potential employers to see it.
Except that didn't make any sense. She could have just made her wall private to non-friends, not to mention that she hasn't even graduated and won't be looking for jobs until May. Regardless, my sister can make weird choices--so I gave her the benefit of the doubt, with a remaining percentage of possibility that she wasn't telling the truth.
A week later, I saw that my cousin (who became my "replacement" after my sister and I had a falling out several years ago) posted something on my sister's wall. I couldn't be entirely sure it happened after the block, so I didn't say anything about it. Then another week went by and again, my cousin posted several things on my sister's wall. She even wrote: "I know I'm blowing up your fb wall today, deal with it!"
Soooo there it was.
My sister lied. Over FACEBOOK.
The thing is--I don't associate with liars. I can count on one hand the number of times someone has told me a verified lie in the past six years, and they were HUGE relationship ending lies. Lying is a big deal. There's no need for it. You're either mature enough to tell the truth, disciplined enough to keep your mouth shut, or a chicken shit, and someone I don't want to associate with.
I texted her one line: "[Our cousin] can still post on your facebook wall." (Meaning: "You clearly lied when you said you'd blocked everyone. Care to explain?")
But this time, she ignored it. Which, in the language of my sister, means "I got caught and I don't want to deal with this, leave me alone."
I let two days go by, then blocked her in return. I figured it was the appropriate consequence for lying, since she clearly thought she "got away with it." Weeks had gone by with this lie being accepted as truth. We'd had several chats during those weeks, and she acted like everything was ok. She'd had AMPLE opportunity to talk about whatever latent issues she apparently has with me, but instead, decided to live in the lie.
So that's where we stand, now. Over the past couple months she'd already been making it clear she'd changed her mind about wanting a relationship with me, so in a way it's not overly surprising. We hadn't been close before I moved back to the area, but when I returned, she indicated she wanted to rebuild our friendship. She initiated. She asked me to get closer to her. But apparently what she'd really wanted was someone she could control and dominate (like my cousin), or someone to kiss her ass. As soon as she got bored and I got too honest, she was done.
Not that she's verified any of this. She still hasn't tried to speak with me. Her next course of action was to delete my website from her fb info page, which she's had on there for years. Nail in the coffin or something.
This whole thing is so, so stupid. I vacillate between feeling apathetic, bemused, annoyed, confused, and angry. I'm ok being estranged from her, I've seen enough of her true colors lately to be pretty turned off. But at the same time--there's NO REASON for any of this. She could have just let our relationship get naturally distanced. She could have continued avoiding me and JR when she visits my parents. But instead, she decided to initiate some seriously petty bullshit for...what? For no reason.
Next, I'm just waiting for her to remove me from her "sisters" listing. My cousin is also listed as a sister, and she added me after I moved back. But, I wouldn't be surprised if I became sibling-less sometime soon.