happy/sad...

[cest_jules]

Well, I got a happy sad thing going on here....the thing of the moment...I know when I can go out west to see Dean...(happy. It's not til September...(sad) it's a long time away...yet, not really either. And if September goes all well, I'll be out there again by the end of October. I'm a little worried (come on, I'm still a woman here!) that Dean won't really want to wait for me. I'm waiting to hear from my cousin, so I can find out for sure if she's coming down in July. I haven't seen her in a few years and she's staying at my place. I'm the only other one Cory knows! I've got a lot going on in the next few weeks (more like a month and more) to keep me busy. Does it mean I miss Dean less? HELL NO! just means my minds entertained for a little bit. They say "distance makes the heart grow fonder..." I hope that's true....I know i'm "fonder" of Dean since he's been gone...our relationship's been based on talking...and a certain camera....but I get to see the real Dean, from a distance...in what he says, and how he acts, without seeing him. It's an interesting experience. I know what I want...but I have to wait til September, to see if it's all real...on both sides...I care for him a lot. I do love him. I love easy. In love on the other had, not easy at all. "love you for who you are"...as Dean tried to quote me..."love you as a friend, like you are more..." is my line...
Anyways, the cd's done, and i need to get some sleep...Dean's in bed already...just not mine... :(
I ask one thing of you Dean...please wait for me. I think you'll be happy with the out cum.... ;)