Comments | ceslas: Prompt: Clear

ceslas

Prompt: Clear

May 26, 2007 19:50

Title: Clear
Series: Finding
Sub-Series: Firefly 100 series that follow Aftermath
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: Post-BDM
Characters: Jayne/River
Disclaimer: Firefly owns me, I own words
Notes: As always
( Read more... )

finding, firefly 100, jayne/river

Comments 11

bookaddict43 May 27 2007, 03:54:36 UTC

I like their conversation about following and being led - that's very in character there. Again you've used some great word pictures to describe the scene and your characters' emotions.

Some of my favourites are:-

grasping fog to decipher it's content

Slow breaths conceal adrenaline coursing

and I love the two last paragraphs - her thinking of him and him of her!! *sigh* *huggles the fic*

ceslas May 27 2007, 04:08:20 UTC

Thank you! I loved the grasping fog line... it had been one of those nights recently and I remembered how it slid through my fingers without leaving much except moisture...

Word pictures are my friend... I admit to liking to create a sense of the space that way. *Happy when it works*

*Hugs my friend from Down-Under*

razycrandomgirl May 27 2007, 04:48:06 UTC

I think I'm running out of words to tell you how great your word images are. :(

Focus, line held against vibrations of motion. Slow breaths conceal adrenaline coursing.

this is my favorite part.

ceslas May 27 2007, 04:50:54 UTC

As long as the images work, I am happy. I am so glad they continue to intrigue...

razycrandomgirl May 27 2007, 05:05:44 UTC

You're love for the fandom is deep and unwavering.

ceslas May 27 2007, 05:07:43 UTC

I am a simple Browncoat that way. I find that which rings true and hold to it... Could be a fault, or a boon... time will tell I s'pose.

ever_obsessed May 27 2007, 10:23:48 UTC

First off, some of my favorite lines:

All is clouded by desire; as a fire by smoke.

She peered through hazy darkness, followed serpentine paths to find where he had gone.

Grasping fog to decipher its content.

Growl of defiance, releasing her to cool touch of care. Retreats. Nurses own wounds.

Smoke and fog, hiding what's there, making you think it can't be there because you can't actually see it, so sometimes, you can pretend it's not there, or that the change isn't coming. Serpentine, I think, is my favorite aspect of this - in addition to being a beautiful decription, there's a reason so much of my meditative/ritual work centers around the serpent as a symbol of the unconscious. Shedding her skin to come into a new form, an endless spiral curling into the heart of the mysteries, rebirth out of death and creation out of destruction, a new form coming from the remains of the old, bringing with it the knowledge of the old life, even as skewed as it might be out of new eyes. It truly fits what Rayne's going through here, so, yeah, ( ... )

ever_obsessed May 27 2007, 10:25:25 UTC

Touch of care, dammit, touch of care!

I hate this fucking cold, dammit!

ceslas May 27 2007, 17:19:27 UTC

*Hands OJ, Vitamin C, Echinacea, and a warm blanket... and fics... many, many fics...*

ceslas May 27 2007, 17:15:52 UTC

All is clouded by desire, as a fire by smoke.

I cannot claim the brilliance of that line, belongs to a voiceover in The Year of Living Dangerously. I still sigh to the memory of Billy Kwan and Djakarta.

I am thrilled by your perception of serpentine paths. My meditation is writing for Jayne and River. I cannot claim intent when I set out to write these pieces. In that manner they truly reflect the meditative aspect of them. I wish I could tell you how they are formed, but I cannot. The words attach meaning to the images in my mind and draw feelings and figures that I watch with wonder.

Tough, touch, both apply really, anger and care are combined: He runs, limp girl held tightly, barely safe in his rigid grasp. Surge of death still filling his senses, barely reined in. Barely restrained from crushing the last of the flickering life. That was an interesting bit to convey, to demonstrate what was happening within.

Get up, walk with me and know I consider you my friend.

(The comment has been removed)

ceslas May 29 2007, 13:53:30 UTC

Thank you! I love that film very much. And not for the reasons one expects.

I particularly love the clarity of Jayne's processes in the second one. (I intentionally left "thought" out of that, because it felt like instinct).

Agreed. He allows the sensations to guide him as opposed to thinking it through. Main difference between him and River. She tends towards calculation, he is reaction.

Oooh, is some Jayne mixed with River blood going from Jayne to River? Now that would be interesting

Yes >;0)