Fic: All My Life Ch.2
Title: All My Life
Author: Cesi
Rating: R
Pairing: VM/OB OB/?
Summary: The true essence of life is love…A story inspired and based from the film “All My Life” by Star Cinema
Feedback: I love hearing from readers, but please let criticism be constructive. Thank you =) amihanskies@yahoo.com
Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing. The characters own themselves, and this beautiful plotline is the product of Star Cinema’s film “All My Life”. I’m just combining one of my favorite movies with my favorite actors, no copyright infringement intended = ) Hope you enjoy.
Previous chapters
Chapter 2 - No Time to Waste
“Don’t!”
Viggo leapt forward and snatched the young man’s shoulder, pulling him clear away from his deadly intent.
“Get the fuck away from me…” Orlando snapped suddenly. He pointed a drunken finger at Viggo, his eyes glazed, “Don’t stop me…stay away…”
“Sir, you’re not in your right mind-”
“My right mind? My fucking right mind? I’m sane, for the first time in my fucking life I’m sane. I was an idiot before…if I had any brains I would have ended this a long time ago but no…no! I was an idiot…and now...now I’m here, talking to you when I could be sinking peacefully down there…”
He swung an arm limply over the rail and pointed down at the racing waters, the cold ocean air sweeping the smear of liquor from his mouth.
“It’s a bit of a waste isn’t it?” Viggo said quickly, trying to come up with something to distract him.
“Waste of what? Life’s a total fuck up,”
Orlando slowly broke into a slurred string of broken laughter. He pushed himself away from the rails and tumbled mere inches from Viggo’s face. He slanted his head to one side, examining the older man in amusement. Without warning he wrapped his arms around the stranger’s neck and pressed their noses together, their lips only a whisper apart.
“You know…if that bastard could do it to me…I can do it too…” Orlando moaned into Viggo’s lips, the strong scent of alcohol hammering his senses.
“That’s enough,” Viggo said weakly, ashamed at how the mere touch shot jolts of pleasure deep inside him.
“You know…you’re not that bad looking…” Orlando slurred, his eyes lazily closing, his lips curled in a mind numbing smile, “Kiss me.”
Viggo froze in place as Orlando began to slip away from the loose shirt he wore, the top buttons suddenly revealing smooth tan skin. Orlando smiled in mischief, his body swaying carelessly as he leaned in again, flashing a generous show of skin and sweat.
“Give it all you got, give me your best and then we’ll see if he has anything to say about it. Go on…just do it.” Orlando waited patiently, his head tilting in a seductive pose while the nerves of Viggo’s neck danced and jolted beneath his teasing fingers. But his intent met with disappointment.
“No,” Viggo said finally, tearing himself away from Orlando’s hold, “You’re drunk...”
“Well that’s just fucking wonderful! I can’t even seduce anymore.” Orlando looked up at the sky in a grand display of shock and frustration. “Before I didn’t have to try and now I can’t even get that right! Nothing ever goes right, no matter what I do it all turns into a giant piece of-
An ear wrenching sneeze ripped the curses out from him. He staggered back as he sneezed again. For a solid two minutes a chorus of gigantic sneezes erupted from him, until finally exhausted he fell on the deck and just covered his face with disgust, groaning and cursing beneath his breath.
“Umm…bless you,” Viggo offered as he sat beside him on the hard wooden deck floor, unsure of what to do next. Orlando’s eyes rolled over and landed on him, their brown depths suddenly alert…almost sober.
“I wish,” He replied, drawing up his knees to his chest. He stared at Viggo, the music spilling within the ship and the constant roar of the ocean waves masked the silence between them.
“You know…it’s not even that much,” Orlando began, his voice still heavy yet strangely clear, “It was so simple. A house near the ocean, longer vacations, a better car for my sister so she doesn’t have to commute… and a really big backyard…” he flung open his arms to illustrate, “And dogs…lots and lots of dogs. Maybe a motorcycle.”
“It sounds nice,” Viggo said kindly, “Well, except for the dogs.”
“Are you insulting me?” Orlando snapped, a quick flash of anger in his eyes.
“No, not at all.” Viggo said quickly, “To each his own, I just prefer not to have dogs.” The anger in Orlando’s eyes died, replaced by something deeper and more intense. He leaned his head back and gazed at the sky once more, hoping that the night would simply swallow him.
“But you know what I want the most?” The words trembled in his lips. Viggo felt a heavy twist in his chest when Orlando began to shake gently, “More than anything else?”
“What is it?” Viggo asked softly, watching as the cold wind swept the tears from the other man’s face, wishing he had the nerve to just reach out and do it himself.
A soft, sad smile crossed Orlando’s face.
“I want to wake up each morning, turn to my side and see the one I love right beside me…and then at night no matter how fucked up my day was… I’ll be at home with someone who can make all the shit I go through worth it. But that’s too much to ask for…Damn it, now I sound like a fucking girl! ” His voice faded into broken breaths as he choked on the last word. He covered his face and sobbed quietly while Viggo looked on.
“I was so close to getting it.” Orlando clenched his hands painfully against his face, “I had it all planned out. I even had a damn timetable, everything right down to the date and hour…it was all ready…”
Viggo took his arms gently, helping him rise to his feet.
"I think it's time to go Orlando,"
“What? Wait…wait...” Orlando’s face twisted his confusion as he staggered along, nearly tripping over his own steps, “How-how do you know my name?”
“Let’s just get you away from here,” He replied. With a steady grip he took Orlando’s arm and led him down the steps, the drunken young man slipping, slurring and sneezing the entire way. With great patience they began to descend slowly together, stumbling and tripping over the ocean washed steps.
After nearly an hour of delays and drunken conversation they finally reached Orlando’s room. Very carefully, Viggo took the keycard from Orlando’s pocket and slid it until a tiny green light flashed back at him. The door clicked open and he fumbled for the light while Orlando promptly collapsed on the bed. At first glance the room looked like a training field for robbers. It was a heinous mess, clothes were tossed and crumpled, papers were torn and littered like confetti, even the mirror wasn’t spared. Viggo’s nose twitched as it caught the overwhelming stench of cologne, and soon he found fragments of the broken bottle by the balcony. He picked up the broken pieces as much as he could and covered the area with an abandoned blanket, hoping that Orlando wouldn’t step on it when he woke the next morning. He shut the balcony screen tightly and glanced at the exhausted figure sobbing and mumbling in his sleep.
Viggo carefully shoved the clothes and papers away as he went towards the door. Before he stepped through he saw a black planner spread open on the table. Carefully marked dates were overwritten by quick, vicious comments in dark red ink. He turned his eyes away, not wanting to intrude into his neighbor’s privacy anymore than he needed to. He reached out his hand to turn off the light and glanced back. He didn’t know why, but something within him wanted to stay. The feeling slowly died away as he finally set one foot out and quietly snapped the door shut… with just enough time to hear a tiny sneeze.
*****************
The next morning Orlando sat back and reviewed his schedule, his pen ready in hand.
1. Call Sam
2. Block calls
3. Eat
4. Meet with godfather
Orlando sighed and allowed his head to fall into his hands. He took a deep breath, grateful that the stench of his useless cologne died down. He tapped the pen and ripped the page right off the planner, tossing it to join the pile of trash beneath his feet. He simply didn’t feel like writing lists today. He didn’t feel like doing much of anything. He glanced at the mess surrounding him and his nose twitched with disgust. Normally he would be running around like the clean freak that he was, cleaning and organizing everything into their proper place. But not now…right now he couldn’t care less.
His head spun, probably from hunger but mostly from all the alcohol he forced on himself last night. That was another thing he couldn’t understand about himself, he rarely drank anything other than water. Now here he was experiencing something that felt like someone smacked him with a bag of bricks. He ran his hand through his hair, frowning at how unkempt and wild it quickly became. Even more disappointing was that he didn’t mind anymore.
“There you go again, letting yourself go because of...” He stopped right there, his fingers wrapping so tightly around the pen that it hurt.
In a sudden blaze of anger he jabbed the pen into the planner and began to write, the ink spilling out like blood, bold and bright. Even when he finished he kept writing over the words, making them bigger, tearing through the paper as he poured out his restless frustration. With stinging hands he tossed the pen down and inspected his new schedule, the two words blaring angrily back at him.
AVOID MEN!
He smiled with confidence, certain that he learned his lesson at last.
“From now on, no more foolish thinking!” He vowed firmly, “No more hopeless wishing. No more ‘poor, trusting, sweet, stupid, love struck Orli’, no more crawling back!”
He underlined his words furiously until the ink mercifully ran out. He flung open his case, pulled out another pen and without even thinking engraved another rule to his list.
AVOID MEN!
ESPECIALLY THE ONE FROM LAST NIGHT!!!!!
He stood back, the anger and frustration within him suddenly vanishing. His hands fell to the page, and for some reason he didn’t understand his heart began to race. He looked at his writing again, and too afraid to think about what it might mean, closed the book shut.
“Stick to the plan,” He reminded himself, his face crossed with determination, “Stick to the plan…Avoid men…especially…the one from…last night.” His words crunched the words against his teeth, drilling them into his brain.
He covered his face and sighed deeply as he faintly recalled the face.
“Don’t fuck up again Orlando,” He begged himself, leaning his head back, his eyes staring up at the unfeeling ceiling, “Please don’t. Just stick to the plan.”
If he wasn’t so determined to “stick with the plan”, he would have realized that he’d already broken his first new vow…
No more foolish thinking.
*************
Sitting in the shade, surrounded by a mass of noisy families, Orlando sat alone. He read the pages of his planner again, his breakfast of fruits and pancakes long ago forgotten. The Bellagio Restaurant was a bit more crowded than he wished, and he groaned as a group of high school seniors spilled their food all over the red seats with clumsiness to rival his own. He glanced out from the clear pristine windows to see a brilliant blue sky and his head started to spin again from the sheer brightness of it. He just began to turn his eyes back to his food when he heard a familiar voice.
“Hey,”
Orlando looked up from his breakfast, his eyes narrowing in recognition.
“How are you feeling?”
This time Orlando stood up and prepared himself to leave.
“Wait. I wasn’t trying to disturb you.”
“But you did, intention doesn’t matter.” Orlando answered curtly, taking his faithful black planner with him. He was dressed differently now. He was clean and groomed, everything ironed, pressed, and combed into submission. His eyes however, kept the promise of seething sadness and anger.
“I just wanted to know how you were doing. I wasn’t really expecting to see you anytime soon. But you recovered from your hangover. That’s good! Usually I’m wasted until the afternoon…”
“I’m sorry but I have to be going. Excuse ME!” He sneezed the last word into a sharp shout, earning the amused glances of passengers enjoying their foot high stack of pancakes and waffles.
“I see you haven’t recovered from that yet,” Viggo said. His smile was returned with an indifferent stare.
“I really do have to get going,” Orlando replied, his planner pressed tightly against his chest, “Thanks for your concern. Good bye.”
He stepped out of the shade and into the bright sunlight, the welcome warmth flooding his face. Before he got far he felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned around and nearly groaned in annoyance.
“My name’s Viggo by the way,” The man said, extending his hand for a proper handshake, “Viggo Mortensen. I’m right next door to your suite…And you?”
Viggo’s hand waited, but Orlando simply stared at him, his arms still clutching the planner to his chest.
“You said my name last night without me telling you,” Orlando answered coldly, “I was drunk Mr.Mortensen, not stupid.”
“I just overheard it. I didn’t get your full name,” Viggo’s hand dropped down weakly. Orlando’s eyes fell heavily on him, their gaze almost piercing, as if he were guilty of some crime.
“Not to be rude sir, but I don’t think it’s any of your business. Excuse me,”
And with that Orlando wove his way through the other passengers, leaving Viggo standing alone in the midst of wind and sunlight.
*****************
Orlando blinked as he saw the price of the postcard. No way was that piece of paper was worth seven hard earned dollars. He turned his attention to the collectable spoons and key chains, his forehead narrowing at how misplaced the numbers seemed to be. He’d been on several cruises before, but strangely enough he’d never really taken the time to explore the galleria shops and photo displays. It was a pointless practice, in his opinion, to buy trinkets just to prove that you’ve actually been somewhere. And yet the choatic crowds of families and loud high school vacationers finally forced him into the quiet shop. His eyes skipped around, nothing really catching his attention for more than two seconds.
He slowly made his way around before he found himself staring at the photo display. He smiled at some, frowned at a few, and laughed at most of them. Obviously, a lot of people weren’t made for candid shots…or even posed shots for that matter. He skipped over a few pictures, not realizing that his own photo count was one short. Against his will, his eyes finally settled on one picture. It was the man who interrupted his breakfast...Viggo Mortensen.
He studied the face with a critical eye. After much resistance, Orlando slowly began to admit that he was definitely handsome. He was much older, but rather than displaying the bitter decay of youth the photograph reflected kindness and timeless warmth. But what drew Orlando more than anything else were those eyes…bright and filled with patience and wisdom. Orlando stared at the picture intently, doubting his chances of ever possessing the peace present on the man’s face.
Breaking from the trace, he turned to his side and saw the living model of the picture staring back at him. Something leapt inside his chest, like a nervous kid who’d been caught looking at something he shouldn’t. His hands were suddenly slippery with sweat. He regained his composure quickly and managed an annoyed sigh.
“Stop following me.” Orlando said flatly, gazing over other photos, suddenly hoping that Viggo didn’t notice how his eyes would drift towards that certain photo, “I don’t appreciate stalkers,”
He swallowed his nerves, his hands eager for something to hold or inspect, something that could make him look busy. Even those wallet draining postcards would do. Hell, even a cheap porno would do! Anything that would give this man a hint to just leave him alone!
“I wasn’t following you,” The words sounded so sincere, and yet Orlando fought himself against falling for them.
“Then how come you show up wherever I go?” Orlando asked coldly, “This ship’s big enough for us not to see each other. Unless of course you're going out of your way to see me. If you are, please stop. I have no time or energy spend on you.”
“Ah, now I know,” Viggo whispered in understanding, as if a great truth had been revealed to him. Orlando looked at him with a slight frown.
“What are you saying?”
"I was wondering why you’re always by yourself. Now I know.” Viggo answered, while his eyes skimmed over the pictures, “It’s very simple now that I think about it. If you push away everyone you meet, then you’re bound to be alone…it’s a waste.”
“A waste?” Orlando repeated, his mind vaguely recalling something.
“A waste of time, a waste of this entire cruise really.” Viggo explained. He pointed at the pictures in front of them, the families with vibrant smiles, the students with their proud graduation signs, and the couples in their tight embrace, “Haven’t you noticed that everyone here has someone to be with? No one comes here to be alone. Well, except for maybe you and me.”
“I’m sorry but I don’t see that as my problem,” Orlando said, his eyes piercing, “I don’t know what you’re after Mr.Mortensen, but I can assure you that I want no part in it. I can enjoy this cruise by myself. I don’t need anyone’s company.”
“In that case, I’m sorry. I just wanted someone to talk with, even for a little while.” Viggo said softly.
“But why me?” He didn’t mean for the words to come out, but they did. He suddenly felt heat flush in his face, and it took more than just determination to keep him from running away.
“Because you’re alone too, and it doesn’t seem right to see you wandering around with no place to really go.” Viggo answered kindly, “I just thought that maybe you’d welcome some company.”
“Like I said before, I’m fine with being alone.” Orlando focused on the pictures, unwilling to see those eyes searching his face. He enjoyed studying and analyzing others, but he found it disturbing and uncomfortable when others would study him. He imagined that the man would simply vanish from the corner of his eye, as if he would simply disappear if he wished hard enough.
“But if you change your mind…If you need to talk or anything, I’m right next door. Knock if you want,” Viggo pointed to one of Orlando’s pictures, smiling gently, “That’s a good shot of you by the way. You look a little bit happier, it looks nice on you.”
And with that he left, glancing back just once before disappearing into the current of people.
Orlando brushed his hands against his face nervously, the heat from his skin refusing to die down. What the fuck was that about? He stared at Viggo’s picture again, the bright red words in the planner burning in his mind.
“Avoid men, especially the one from last night.” He reminded himself firmly, his eyes shut tight with determination, “It’s too soon you stupid nitwit. Don’t start something you know you can’t finish. Don’t be an idiot, stick to the plan, stick to the fucking god-damn plan…”
He gripped his hair tightly and sighed in frustration. When he opened his eyes, his stomach crunched.
“Hey sexy,”
Orlando turned his back, his eyes rolling in genuine annoyance. It was that overstuffed, clueless would-be playboy from yesterday! With that same stupid overconfident smile flowing with fakeness.
“I think we got off on the wrong foot yesterday,”
“That’s very kind of you to think of something so original,” Orlando glanced half amused at the pictures again, his hands clenched at his sides in ready fists. Either the other man didn’t understand or simply didn’t care about Orlando’s insult because he kept on talking with his plastered smile.
“Yeah, I try. Listen, there’s still enough time to explore Key West and be back before the ship sails off again. It’ll be worth your while. I’ll make sure of it.” He winked suggestively, “And afterwards dinner would be great, but not in those crowded restaurants...I prefer somewhere more private…more intimate.”
Orlando imagined his fist swinging the sick smile right off that eager face. He imagined having the bastard being marooned on the port, or thrown off deck…yes, that would be satisfying. But then another thought crept into his head, and it soon overcome everything else. Without thinking, Orlando let out a smile that could melt the heartless into submission.
“Actually that sounds really nice,” He tilted his head and blinked slowly, the gleam in his eyes on the verge of seduction, “It’s making me very impatient just hearing it. Especially the last part…private…intimate…”
The cocksure idiot was beside himself with greedy anticipation, lust-filled fantasies dancing wildly in his mind.
“But it sounds so much sexier when my boyfriend says it,”
“What? Your boyfriend?”
“Yes,” Orlando nodded happily, his smile bright. He waved to the clerk standing nearby and pointed to Viggo’s picture on the display. The playboy wannabe watched, dumbstruck, as Orlando paid for the photo.
“Thank you,” Orlando said as the clerk handed him the photo. He opened the card and smiled fondly at the picture, sighing in contentment. He proudly held the photo up, his face beaming with new found confidence.
“I…I…” The man’s lips stumbled for words, much to Orlando’s delight.
“I know,” Orlando nodded with a warm, sweet smile. He threw an adoring, almost lovesick gaze at the picture, “I’m still struck speechless sometimes. He’s amazing in every way and as a matter of fact he’s waiting for me in our suite.”
“I see,” The other man said slowly, the smile still awkwardly clinging to his face.
“Have fun in Key West.” Orlando said cheerfully as he strolled away.
His feet moved lightly towards the waiting elevator, a slight skip in his step. While he waited for the doors to open, he kept glancing at the photograph, holding it close with warm affection radiating off his face. But once the elevator chimed and he stepped through the doors, his façade shamelessly shattered around him.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” While the elevator charmingly sang the decks levels in Italian an enormous storm of curse brew beneath his breath, “What the hell did you just do?”
He slammed his hands on the mirror that encompassed the lift, his head spinning from more than just a faint hangover.
“You’re asking for it aren't you? What the hell were you thinking Orlando? It was simple, stick to the list…stick to the damn list and what did you do? You blew it, just like everything else, you fucking blew it.”
The elevators slid open and Orlando raced off. He fumbled for his keycard and swiped the card five times before it finally allowed him entrance. He pushed his way inside, kicking his disarrayed clothes out of the way. He threw the picture down and flung his planner open, flipping through the pages until he found it.
“Avoid men, avoid men, avoid men!” He chanted as he stabbed the pen in furious underline strokes, “It’s not that difficult!” And to prove his determination he grabbed Viggo’s picture and prepared himself to rip it into confetti. But he didn’t.
His breath clamed slowly as he stared at the picture, his hands gripping it so tightly that it nearly hurt. His former anger gave way to guilt and he settled the photograph down. He began to search through the planner carefully, pulling back the tears from falling into the pages. He came to a certain page and stopped, the tears finally slipping away to mingle with the ink. With great pain he ripped off the page, crumpled it, and threw it in the trash. Out of embarrassment, guilt, and confusion he took Viggo’s photograph and hid it within the book.
He sat there in silence, his tears finally subsiding. He looked at the cruise ship’s itinerary, noting all that he’d already missed because of his foolish mourning.
He fled from home, work, and everything else without saying goodbye all for the sake of leaving his problems behind. But now it seemed like another number on his on-going list of screw-ups. His problems still tracked him by the heels and hammered his thoughts, only now he had absolutely no one to turn to. Rather than clearing his mind and giving him some space to relax and unwind, the cruise quickly became a giant prison cell. He would go insane. He knew it as soon as he got on that flight to Florida. If he didn’t find a way to forget the hideous mess waiting for him at home, he’d just sink into a corner until they shipped him off to a metal hospital.
“What am I thinking?” Orlando shook his head and hissed beneath his breath, “I am not going crazy. He may have hurt me, but I won’t let him ruin my life! I won’t give that up just because of his fucking mistake.”
Orlando studied the itinerary. He glanced back at the photo, remembering his neighbor’s kind offer. He stood up and cleaned himself up, making himself presentable once more, his mind made up.
He had only one week before he had to go back, before he had to face his problems. It would be foolish to spend the time dwelling on his misery. He should forget…he wanted to forget, even if it was only for a few short days. So against his plans and lists, he prepared himself to meet the stranger next door.
“Besides,” He told himself as he stared at the mirror, “It’s just for some company and it’s just for one week. Nothing could possibly come from it.”
And thus he broke his second vow… No more hopeless wishing.
**************
“You did what?”
“I offered to spend some time with him if he wanted to, is that so wrong?” Viggo laughed. His friend’s annoyed sigh rang through the phone as sharply as it did in person.
“You know nothing about him and you bought his picture? I don’t think it’s fair for you to be so friendly with someone just for a one week fling.”
“It’s not a fling,” Viggo argued, “It just company. No commitment, no attachment, no expectations or disappointments.”
“Sounds like a fling. Goodness Vig, if company was all you wanted I would have gone with you instead of answering fifty calls an hour from the office.”
A soft knock interrupted Viggo from his phone call.
“I have to go now but I’ll call soon,” He promised, his eyes drifting to the door. A heavy sigh came from the other line.
“Just take care of yourself okay? I’m starting to have serious regrets about not going with you, especially when everyone’s giving me this huge guilt trip about abandoning you. They’re all paranoid. Are you sure that you’re alright, because you can come back as soon as you feel anything weird. Don’t be one of those guys that think it’s wrong to complain about pain. Would you stop laughing? I'm not kidding. We’re seriously worried about you and you just take it as a joke-”
“And I’m thankful for all your concerns but I’m fine. I feel better than I have in weeks.” Viggo assured his friend. The knocks ceased for awhile before continuing, this time a bit louder than before.
“Everyone’s just counting down til you get back. Dr. Fisher-”
“Will you stop being the doctor’s little spy for once? Tell him that I’ll be in as soon as I have the time. I really have to go now,”
“You know it doesn’t work that way. Viggo you can’t keep putting it off. You know Dr. Fisher can’t keep changing his schedule just because-”
“I’ll deal with him when I get back okay? Bye.”
“Wait, Viggo!”
“Long distance charges. Bye, see you in a week.”
“Vig-”
He clicked the phone into the receiver. His friend’s words bothered him, but not enough to deter him. He made up his mind long ago that he wouldn’t waste his time. In his mind, it was better to try and fail than to go on without knowing what you might have missed…which was why he swallowed his initial fears and spoke with the beautiful young man again.
He went to the door and opened it enough to see Orlando’s nervous face. The hesitance lasted for only a second before his face was once again crossed with indifference. The boy was a good actor, but Viggo was a better interpreter of emotions. He knew fear and anxiety when he saw it, and Orlando was definitely filled with both. But he had to give him credit for doing a great job of faking confidence and certainty.
“Are you following me?” Viggo asked with a slight smile, “For someone who doesn’t like stalkers, you’re a pretty good one yourself.” Orlando merely crossed his arms over his chest defensively, foolishly hoping that it would calm a heart beating fearfully beyond his control.
“Someone’s been asking me…actually, he’s been bothering me,” Orlando explained, his voice steady and solid, “He’s been pestering me since yesterday and today he asked me to join him.”
“And?” Viggo asked curiously, his smile widened while Orlando’s determination faltered for a second before solidifying again.
“Well I…I figured that you were more harmless, less capable of taking advantage of me,” Orlando answered. Viggo stepped out to join him, and Orlando staggered back, keeping a secure distance between them. Viggo simply shrugged and smiled.
“I’m honored,”
Orlando felt his insides flare as Viggo brushed past him.
“Then we have no time to waste," Viggo said, "Let’s go!”
TBC…
Author: Cesi
Rating: R
Pairing: VM/OB OB/?
Summary: The true essence of life is love…A story inspired and based from the film “All My Life” by Star Cinema
Feedback: I love hearing from readers, but please let criticism be constructive. Thank you =) amihanskies@yahoo.com
Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing. The characters own themselves, and this beautiful plotline is the product of Star Cinema’s film “All My Life”. I’m just combining one of my favorite movies with my favorite actors, no copyright infringement intended = ) Hope you enjoy.
Previous chapters
Chapter 2 - No Time to Waste
“Don’t!”
Viggo leapt forward and snatched the young man’s shoulder, pulling him clear away from his deadly intent.
“Get the fuck away from me…” Orlando snapped suddenly. He pointed a drunken finger at Viggo, his eyes glazed, “Don’t stop me…stay away…”
“Sir, you’re not in your right mind-”
“My right mind? My fucking right mind? I’m sane, for the first time in my fucking life I’m sane. I was an idiot before…if I had any brains I would have ended this a long time ago but no…no! I was an idiot…and now...now I’m here, talking to you when I could be sinking peacefully down there…”
He swung an arm limply over the rail and pointed down at the racing waters, the cold ocean air sweeping the smear of liquor from his mouth.
“It’s a bit of a waste isn’t it?” Viggo said quickly, trying to come up with something to distract him.
“Waste of what? Life’s a total fuck up,”
Orlando slowly broke into a slurred string of broken laughter. He pushed himself away from the rails and tumbled mere inches from Viggo’s face. He slanted his head to one side, examining the older man in amusement. Without warning he wrapped his arms around the stranger’s neck and pressed their noses together, their lips only a whisper apart.
“You know…if that bastard could do it to me…I can do it too…” Orlando moaned into Viggo’s lips, the strong scent of alcohol hammering his senses.
“That’s enough,” Viggo said weakly, ashamed at how the mere touch shot jolts of pleasure deep inside him.
“You know…you’re not that bad looking…” Orlando slurred, his eyes lazily closing, his lips curled in a mind numbing smile, “Kiss me.”
Viggo froze in place as Orlando began to slip away from the loose shirt he wore, the top buttons suddenly revealing smooth tan skin. Orlando smiled in mischief, his body swaying carelessly as he leaned in again, flashing a generous show of skin and sweat.
“Give it all you got, give me your best and then we’ll see if he has anything to say about it. Go on…just do it.” Orlando waited patiently, his head tilting in a seductive pose while the nerves of Viggo’s neck danced and jolted beneath his teasing fingers. But his intent met with disappointment.
“No,” Viggo said finally, tearing himself away from Orlando’s hold, “You’re drunk...”
“Well that’s just fucking wonderful! I can’t even seduce anymore.” Orlando looked up at the sky in a grand display of shock and frustration. “Before I didn’t have to try and now I can’t even get that right! Nothing ever goes right, no matter what I do it all turns into a giant piece of-
An ear wrenching sneeze ripped the curses out from him. He staggered back as he sneezed again. For a solid two minutes a chorus of gigantic sneezes erupted from him, until finally exhausted he fell on the deck and just covered his face with disgust, groaning and cursing beneath his breath.
“Umm…bless you,” Viggo offered as he sat beside him on the hard wooden deck floor, unsure of what to do next. Orlando’s eyes rolled over and landed on him, their brown depths suddenly alert…almost sober.
“I wish,” He replied, drawing up his knees to his chest. He stared at Viggo, the music spilling within the ship and the constant roar of the ocean waves masked the silence between them.
“You know…it’s not even that much,” Orlando began, his voice still heavy yet strangely clear, “It was so simple. A house near the ocean, longer vacations, a better car for my sister so she doesn’t have to commute… and a really big backyard…” he flung open his arms to illustrate, “And dogs…lots and lots of dogs. Maybe a motorcycle.”
“It sounds nice,” Viggo said kindly, “Well, except for the dogs.”
“Are you insulting me?” Orlando snapped, a quick flash of anger in his eyes.
“No, not at all.” Viggo said quickly, “To each his own, I just prefer not to have dogs.” The anger in Orlando’s eyes died, replaced by something deeper and more intense. He leaned his head back and gazed at the sky once more, hoping that the night would simply swallow him.
“But you know what I want the most?” The words trembled in his lips. Viggo felt a heavy twist in his chest when Orlando began to shake gently, “More than anything else?”
“What is it?” Viggo asked softly, watching as the cold wind swept the tears from the other man’s face, wishing he had the nerve to just reach out and do it himself.
A soft, sad smile crossed Orlando’s face.
“I want to wake up each morning, turn to my side and see the one I love right beside me…and then at night no matter how fucked up my day was… I’ll be at home with someone who can make all the shit I go through worth it. But that’s too much to ask for…Damn it, now I sound like a fucking girl! ” His voice faded into broken breaths as he choked on the last word. He covered his face and sobbed quietly while Viggo looked on.
“I was so close to getting it.” Orlando clenched his hands painfully against his face, “I had it all planned out. I even had a damn timetable, everything right down to the date and hour…it was all ready…”
Viggo took his arms gently, helping him rise to his feet.
"I think it's time to go Orlando,"
“What? Wait…wait...” Orlando’s face twisted his confusion as he staggered along, nearly tripping over his own steps, “How-how do you know my name?”
“Let’s just get you away from here,” He replied. With a steady grip he took Orlando’s arm and led him down the steps, the drunken young man slipping, slurring and sneezing the entire way. With great patience they began to descend slowly together, stumbling and tripping over the ocean washed steps.
After nearly an hour of delays and drunken conversation they finally reached Orlando’s room. Very carefully, Viggo took the keycard from Orlando’s pocket and slid it until a tiny green light flashed back at him. The door clicked open and he fumbled for the light while Orlando promptly collapsed on the bed. At first glance the room looked like a training field for robbers. It was a heinous mess, clothes were tossed and crumpled, papers were torn and littered like confetti, even the mirror wasn’t spared. Viggo’s nose twitched as it caught the overwhelming stench of cologne, and soon he found fragments of the broken bottle by the balcony. He picked up the broken pieces as much as he could and covered the area with an abandoned blanket, hoping that Orlando wouldn’t step on it when he woke the next morning. He shut the balcony screen tightly and glanced at the exhausted figure sobbing and mumbling in his sleep.
Viggo carefully shoved the clothes and papers away as he went towards the door. Before he stepped through he saw a black planner spread open on the table. Carefully marked dates were overwritten by quick, vicious comments in dark red ink. He turned his eyes away, not wanting to intrude into his neighbor’s privacy anymore than he needed to. He reached out his hand to turn off the light and glanced back. He didn’t know why, but something within him wanted to stay. The feeling slowly died away as he finally set one foot out and quietly snapped the door shut… with just enough time to hear a tiny sneeze.
*****************
The next morning Orlando sat back and reviewed his schedule, his pen ready in hand.
1. Call Sam
2. Block calls
3. Eat
4. Meet with godfather
Orlando sighed and allowed his head to fall into his hands. He took a deep breath, grateful that the stench of his useless cologne died down. He tapped the pen and ripped the page right off the planner, tossing it to join the pile of trash beneath his feet. He simply didn’t feel like writing lists today. He didn’t feel like doing much of anything. He glanced at the mess surrounding him and his nose twitched with disgust. Normally he would be running around like the clean freak that he was, cleaning and organizing everything into their proper place. But not now…right now he couldn’t care less.
His head spun, probably from hunger but mostly from all the alcohol he forced on himself last night. That was another thing he couldn’t understand about himself, he rarely drank anything other than water. Now here he was experiencing something that felt like someone smacked him with a bag of bricks. He ran his hand through his hair, frowning at how unkempt and wild it quickly became. Even more disappointing was that he didn’t mind anymore.
“There you go again, letting yourself go because of...” He stopped right there, his fingers wrapping so tightly around the pen that it hurt.
In a sudden blaze of anger he jabbed the pen into the planner and began to write, the ink spilling out like blood, bold and bright. Even when he finished he kept writing over the words, making them bigger, tearing through the paper as he poured out his restless frustration. With stinging hands he tossed the pen down and inspected his new schedule, the two words blaring angrily back at him.
AVOID MEN!
He smiled with confidence, certain that he learned his lesson at last.
“From now on, no more foolish thinking!” He vowed firmly, “No more hopeless wishing. No more ‘poor, trusting, sweet, stupid, love struck Orli’, no more crawling back!”
He underlined his words furiously until the ink mercifully ran out. He flung open his case, pulled out another pen and without even thinking engraved another rule to his list.
AVOID MEN!
ESPECIALLY THE ONE FROM LAST NIGHT!!!!!
He stood back, the anger and frustration within him suddenly vanishing. His hands fell to the page, and for some reason he didn’t understand his heart began to race. He looked at his writing again, and too afraid to think about what it might mean, closed the book shut.
“Stick to the plan,” He reminded himself, his face crossed with determination, “Stick to the plan…Avoid men…especially…the one from…last night.” His words crunched the words against his teeth, drilling them into his brain.
He covered his face and sighed deeply as he faintly recalled the face.
“Don’t fuck up again Orlando,” He begged himself, leaning his head back, his eyes staring up at the unfeeling ceiling, “Please don’t. Just stick to the plan.”
If he wasn’t so determined to “stick with the plan”, he would have realized that he’d already broken his first new vow…
No more foolish thinking.
*************
Sitting in the shade, surrounded by a mass of noisy families, Orlando sat alone. He read the pages of his planner again, his breakfast of fruits and pancakes long ago forgotten. The Bellagio Restaurant was a bit more crowded than he wished, and he groaned as a group of high school seniors spilled their food all over the red seats with clumsiness to rival his own. He glanced out from the clear pristine windows to see a brilliant blue sky and his head started to spin again from the sheer brightness of it. He just began to turn his eyes back to his food when he heard a familiar voice.
“Hey,”
Orlando looked up from his breakfast, his eyes narrowing in recognition.
“How are you feeling?”
This time Orlando stood up and prepared himself to leave.
“Wait. I wasn’t trying to disturb you.”
“But you did, intention doesn’t matter.” Orlando answered curtly, taking his faithful black planner with him. He was dressed differently now. He was clean and groomed, everything ironed, pressed, and combed into submission. His eyes however, kept the promise of seething sadness and anger.
“I just wanted to know how you were doing. I wasn’t really expecting to see you anytime soon. But you recovered from your hangover. That’s good! Usually I’m wasted until the afternoon…”
“I’m sorry but I have to be going. Excuse ME!” He sneezed the last word into a sharp shout, earning the amused glances of passengers enjoying their foot high stack of pancakes and waffles.
“I see you haven’t recovered from that yet,” Viggo said. His smile was returned with an indifferent stare.
“I really do have to get going,” Orlando replied, his planner pressed tightly against his chest, “Thanks for your concern. Good bye.”
He stepped out of the shade and into the bright sunlight, the welcome warmth flooding his face. Before he got far he felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned around and nearly groaned in annoyance.
“My name’s Viggo by the way,” The man said, extending his hand for a proper handshake, “Viggo Mortensen. I’m right next door to your suite…And you?”
Viggo’s hand waited, but Orlando simply stared at him, his arms still clutching the planner to his chest.
“You said my name last night without me telling you,” Orlando answered coldly, “I was drunk Mr.Mortensen, not stupid.”
“I just overheard it. I didn’t get your full name,” Viggo’s hand dropped down weakly. Orlando’s eyes fell heavily on him, their gaze almost piercing, as if he were guilty of some crime.
“Not to be rude sir, but I don’t think it’s any of your business. Excuse me,”
And with that Orlando wove his way through the other passengers, leaving Viggo standing alone in the midst of wind and sunlight.
*****************
Orlando blinked as he saw the price of the postcard. No way was that piece of paper was worth seven hard earned dollars. He turned his attention to the collectable spoons and key chains, his forehead narrowing at how misplaced the numbers seemed to be. He’d been on several cruises before, but strangely enough he’d never really taken the time to explore the galleria shops and photo displays. It was a pointless practice, in his opinion, to buy trinkets just to prove that you’ve actually been somewhere. And yet the choatic crowds of families and loud high school vacationers finally forced him into the quiet shop. His eyes skipped around, nothing really catching his attention for more than two seconds.
He slowly made his way around before he found himself staring at the photo display. He smiled at some, frowned at a few, and laughed at most of them. Obviously, a lot of people weren’t made for candid shots…or even posed shots for that matter. He skipped over a few pictures, not realizing that his own photo count was one short. Against his will, his eyes finally settled on one picture. It was the man who interrupted his breakfast...Viggo Mortensen.
He studied the face with a critical eye. After much resistance, Orlando slowly began to admit that he was definitely handsome. He was much older, but rather than displaying the bitter decay of youth the photograph reflected kindness and timeless warmth. But what drew Orlando more than anything else were those eyes…bright and filled with patience and wisdom. Orlando stared at the picture intently, doubting his chances of ever possessing the peace present on the man’s face.
Breaking from the trace, he turned to his side and saw the living model of the picture staring back at him. Something leapt inside his chest, like a nervous kid who’d been caught looking at something he shouldn’t. His hands were suddenly slippery with sweat. He regained his composure quickly and managed an annoyed sigh.
“Stop following me.” Orlando said flatly, gazing over other photos, suddenly hoping that Viggo didn’t notice how his eyes would drift towards that certain photo, “I don’t appreciate stalkers,”
He swallowed his nerves, his hands eager for something to hold or inspect, something that could make him look busy. Even those wallet draining postcards would do. Hell, even a cheap porno would do! Anything that would give this man a hint to just leave him alone!
“I wasn’t following you,” The words sounded so sincere, and yet Orlando fought himself against falling for them.
“Then how come you show up wherever I go?” Orlando asked coldly, “This ship’s big enough for us not to see each other. Unless of course you're going out of your way to see me. If you are, please stop. I have no time or energy spend on you.”
“Ah, now I know,” Viggo whispered in understanding, as if a great truth had been revealed to him. Orlando looked at him with a slight frown.
“What are you saying?”
"I was wondering why you’re always by yourself. Now I know.” Viggo answered, while his eyes skimmed over the pictures, “It’s very simple now that I think about it. If you push away everyone you meet, then you’re bound to be alone…it’s a waste.”
“A waste?” Orlando repeated, his mind vaguely recalling something.
“A waste of time, a waste of this entire cruise really.” Viggo explained. He pointed at the pictures in front of them, the families with vibrant smiles, the students with their proud graduation signs, and the couples in their tight embrace, “Haven’t you noticed that everyone here has someone to be with? No one comes here to be alone. Well, except for maybe you and me.”
“I’m sorry but I don’t see that as my problem,” Orlando said, his eyes piercing, “I don’t know what you’re after Mr.Mortensen, but I can assure you that I want no part in it. I can enjoy this cruise by myself. I don’t need anyone’s company.”
“In that case, I’m sorry. I just wanted someone to talk with, even for a little while.” Viggo said softly.
“But why me?” He didn’t mean for the words to come out, but they did. He suddenly felt heat flush in his face, and it took more than just determination to keep him from running away.
“Because you’re alone too, and it doesn’t seem right to see you wandering around with no place to really go.” Viggo answered kindly, “I just thought that maybe you’d welcome some company.”
“Like I said before, I’m fine with being alone.” Orlando focused on the pictures, unwilling to see those eyes searching his face. He enjoyed studying and analyzing others, but he found it disturbing and uncomfortable when others would study him. He imagined that the man would simply vanish from the corner of his eye, as if he would simply disappear if he wished hard enough.
“But if you change your mind…If you need to talk or anything, I’m right next door. Knock if you want,” Viggo pointed to one of Orlando’s pictures, smiling gently, “That’s a good shot of you by the way. You look a little bit happier, it looks nice on you.”
And with that he left, glancing back just once before disappearing into the current of people.
Orlando brushed his hands against his face nervously, the heat from his skin refusing to die down. What the fuck was that about? He stared at Viggo’s picture again, the bright red words in the planner burning in his mind.
“Avoid men, especially the one from last night.” He reminded himself firmly, his eyes shut tight with determination, “It’s too soon you stupid nitwit. Don’t start something you know you can’t finish. Don’t be an idiot, stick to the plan, stick to the fucking god-damn plan…”
He gripped his hair tightly and sighed in frustration. When he opened his eyes, his stomach crunched.
“Hey sexy,”
Orlando turned his back, his eyes rolling in genuine annoyance. It was that overstuffed, clueless would-be playboy from yesterday! With that same stupid overconfident smile flowing with fakeness.
“I think we got off on the wrong foot yesterday,”
“That’s very kind of you to think of something so original,” Orlando glanced half amused at the pictures again, his hands clenched at his sides in ready fists. Either the other man didn’t understand or simply didn’t care about Orlando’s insult because he kept on talking with his plastered smile.
“Yeah, I try. Listen, there’s still enough time to explore Key West and be back before the ship sails off again. It’ll be worth your while. I’ll make sure of it.” He winked suggestively, “And afterwards dinner would be great, but not in those crowded restaurants...I prefer somewhere more private…more intimate.”
Orlando imagined his fist swinging the sick smile right off that eager face. He imagined having the bastard being marooned on the port, or thrown off deck…yes, that would be satisfying. But then another thought crept into his head, and it soon overcome everything else. Without thinking, Orlando let out a smile that could melt the heartless into submission.
“Actually that sounds really nice,” He tilted his head and blinked slowly, the gleam in his eyes on the verge of seduction, “It’s making me very impatient just hearing it. Especially the last part…private…intimate…”
The cocksure idiot was beside himself with greedy anticipation, lust-filled fantasies dancing wildly in his mind.
“But it sounds so much sexier when my boyfriend says it,”
“What? Your boyfriend?”
“Yes,” Orlando nodded happily, his smile bright. He waved to the clerk standing nearby and pointed to Viggo’s picture on the display. The playboy wannabe watched, dumbstruck, as Orlando paid for the photo.
“Thank you,” Orlando said as the clerk handed him the photo. He opened the card and smiled fondly at the picture, sighing in contentment. He proudly held the photo up, his face beaming with new found confidence.
“I…I…” The man’s lips stumbled for words, much to Orlando’s delight.
“I know,” Orlando nodded with a warm, sweet smile. He threw an adoring, almost lovesick gaze at the picture, “I’m still struck speechless sometimes. He’s amazing in every way and as a matter of fact he’s waiting for me in our suite.”
“I see,” The other man said slowly, the smile still awkwardly clinging to his face.
“Have fun in Key West.” Orlando said cheerfully as he strolled away.
His feet moved lightly towards the waiting elevator, a slight skip in his step. While he waited for the doors to open, he kept glancing at the photograph, holding it close with warm affection radiating off his face. But once the elevator chimed and he stepped through the doors, his façade shamelessly shattered around him.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” While the elevator charmingly sang the decks levels in Italian an enormous storm of curse brew beneath his breath, “What the hell did you just do?”
He slammed his hands on the mirror that encompassed the lift, his head spinning from more than just a faint hangover.
“You’re asking for it aren't you? What the hell were you thinking Orlando? It was simple, stick to the list…stick to the damn list and what did you do? You blew it, just like everything else, you fucking blew it.”
The elevators slid open and Orlando raced off. He fumbled for his keycard and swiped the card five times before it finally allowed him entrance. He pushed his way inside, kicking his disarrayed clothes out of the way. He threw the picture down and flung his planner open, flipping through the pages until he found it.
“Avoid men, avoid men, avoid men!” He chanted as he stabbed the pen in furious underline strokes, “It’s not that difficult!” And to prove his determination he grabbed Viggo’s picture and prepared himself to rip it into confetti. But he didn’t.
His breath clamed slowly as he stared at the picture, his hands gripping it so tightly that it nearly hurt. His former anger gave way to guilt and he settled the photograph down. He began to search through the planner carefully, pulling back the tears from falling into the pages. He came to a certain page and stopped, the tears finally slipping away to mingle with the ink. With great pain he ripped off the page, crumpled it, and threw it in the trash. Out of embarrassment, guilt, and confusion he took Viggo’s photograph and hid it within the book.
He sat there in silence, his tears finally subsiding. He looked at the cruise ship’s itinerary, noting all that he’d already missed because of his foolish mourning.
He fled from home, work, and everything else without saying goodbye all for the sake of leaving his problems behind. But now it seemed like another number on his on-going list of screw-ups. His problems still tracked him by the heels and hammered his thoughts, only now he had absolutely no one to turn to. Rather than clearing his mind and giving him some space to relax and unwind, the cruise quickly became a giant prison cell. He would go insane. He knew it as soon as he got on that flight to Florida. If he didn’t find a way to forget the hideous mess waiting for him at home, he’d just sink into a corner until they shipped him off to a metal hospital.
“What am I thinking?” Orlando shook his head and hissed beneath his breath, “I am not going crazy. He may have hurt me, but I won’t let him ruin my life! I won’t give that up just because of his fucking mistake.”
Orlando studied the itinerary. He glanced back at the photo, remembering his neighbor’s kind offer. He stood up and cleaned himself up, making himself presentable once more, his mind made up.
He had only one week before he had to go back, before he had to face his problems. It would be foolish to spend the time dwelling on his misery. He should forget…he wanted to forget, even if it was only for a few short days. So against his plans and lists, he prepared himself to meet the stranger next door.
“Besides,” He told himself as he stared at the mirror, “It’s just for some company and it’s just for one week. Nothing could possibly come from it.”
And thus he broke his second vow… No more hopeless wishing.
**************
“You did what?”
“I offered to spend some time with him if he wanted to, is that so wrong?” Viggo laughed. His friend’s annoyed sigh rang through the phone as sharply as it did in person.
“You know nothing about him and you bought his picture? I don’t think it’s fair for you to be so friendly with someone just for a one week fling.”
“It’s not a fling,” Viggo argued, “It just company. No commitment, no attachment, no expectations or disappointments.”
“Sounds like a fling. Goodness Vig, if company was all you wanted I would have gone with you instead of answering fifty calls an hour from the office.”
A soft knock interrupted Viggo from his phone call.
“I have to go now but I’ll call soon,” He promised, his eyes drifting to the door. A heavy sigh came from the other line.
“Just take care of yourself okay? I’m starting to have serious regrets about not going with you, especially when everyone’s giving me this huge guilt trip about abandoning you. They’re all paranoid. Are you sure that you’re alright, because you can come back as soon as you feel anything weird. Don’t be one of those guys that think it’s wrong to complain about pain. Would you stop laughing? I'm not kidding. We’re seriously worried about you and you just take it as a joke-”
“And I’m thankful for all your concerns but I’m fine. I feel better than I have in weeks.” Viggo assured his friend. The knocks ceased for awhile before continuing, this time a bit louder than before.
“Everyone’s just counting down til you get back. Dr. Fisher-”
“Will you stop being the doctor’s little spy for once? Tell him that I’ll be in as soon as I have the time. I really have to go now,”
“You know it doesn’t work that way. Viggo you can’t keep putting it off. You know Dr. Fisher can’t keep changing his schedule just because-”
“I’ll deal with him when I get back okay? Bye.”
“Wait, Viggo!”
“Long distance charges. Bye, see you in a week.”
“Vig-”
He clicked the phone into the receiver. His friend’s words bothered him, but not enough to deter him. He made up his mind long ago that he wouldn’t waste his time. In his mind, it was better to try and fail than to go on without knowing what you might have missed…which was why he swallowed his initial fears and spoke with the beautiful young man again.
He went to the door and opened it enough to see Orlando’s nervous face. The hesitance lasted for only a second before his face was once again crossed with indifference. The boy was a good actor, but Viggo was a better interpreter of emotions. He knew fear and anxiety when he saw it, and Orlando was definitely filled with both. But he had to give him credit for doing a great job of faking confidence and certainty.
“Are you following me?” Viggo asked with a slight smile, “For someone who doesn’t like stalkers, you’re a pretty good one yourself.” Orlando merely crossed his arms over his chest defensively, foolishly hoping that it would calm a heart beating fearfully beyond his control.
“Someone’s been asking me…actually, he’s been bothering me,” Orlando explained, his voice steady and solid, “He’s been pestering me since yesterday and today he asked me to join him.”
“And?” Viggo asked curiously, his smile widened while Orlando’s determination faltered for a second before solidifying again.
“Well I…I figured that you were more harmless, less capable of taking advantage of me,” Orlando answered. Viggo stepped out to join him, and Orlando staggered back, keeping a secure distance between them. Viggo simply shrugged and smiled.
“I’m honored,”
Orlando felt his insides flare as Viggo brushed past him.
“Then we have no time to waste," Viggo said, "Let’s go!”
TBC…