(no subject)
Im feeling a lot better tonite.. i was outta my mind last night lol ... back to school night was a fucking mess tonite..... oh well .. at least i get paid for it... the whole 8.90 minus taxes.. WOOOOHOOO!
yeah. i totally wanna lose some more weight, get rid of kidney disease and then move on with life. i'd love to move away soon on my own. i would love to get another job that i enjoy but make more money with. or even something that i can just divulge my passion into. maybe some weird job at a theater or something... maybe when i move i can take an art class.. and an acting class cause Ive ALWAYS wanted to do that. that would be a great way to meet people. its interesting that i wanted to go across the country with josh, live with him and the whole 9. i guess a part of me knew it would never happen. i know now that i dont want it to happen. i wonder if he even cares about me at all.. i just dont know with him. its interesting really, its taught me that you can really want someone, you can love evrything about them but still it just wont work out. its made it more apparent to me that i want respect and love and these actions to be expressed honestly and bluntly. cause i went a long ass time thinking josh was my best friend and apparently he's fine without me, but hey im okay too. i dont mind not seeing him, i hope i get to have some good times with him eventually tho. gotta avoid excessive alcohol and beds tho lol.... beds in general is just a baddd idea i guess im just irresistible lol .. well he's kinda cute too.. but whatevs.. alright, just wanted to make a relatively positive post since the last one mentioned me wanting to constantly kill myself lol .. aaaaadios
yeah. i totally wanna lose some more weight, get rid of kidney disease and then move on with life. i'd love to move away soon on my own. i would love to get another job that i enjoy but make more money with. or even something that i can just divulge my passion into. maybe some weird job at a theater or something... maybe when i move i can take an art class.. and an acting class cause Ive ALWAYS wanted to do that. that would be a great way to meet people. its interesting that i wanted to go across the country with josh, live with him and the whole 9. i guess a part of me knew it would never happen. i know now that i dont want it to happen. i wonder if he even cares about me at all.. i just dont know with him. its interesting really, its taught me that you can really want someone, you can love evrything about them but still it just wont work out. its made it more apparent to me that i want respect and love and these actions to be expressed honestly and bluntly. cause i went a long ass time thinking josh was my best friend and apparently he's fine without me, but hey im okay too. i dont mind not seeing him, i hope i get to have some good times with him eventually tho. gotta avoid excessive alcohol and beds tho lol.... beds in general is just a baddd idea i guess im just irresistible lol .. well he's kinda cute too.. but whatevs.. alright, just wanted to make a relatively positive post since the last one mentioned me wanting to constantly kill myself lol .. aaaaadios