Title: If wishes were fishes
Rating: PG
Pairing: Yunho/Changmin
Fandom: DBSK/TVXQ/THSK
Genre: romance, crack
Beta: the lovely
vampcircus1Disclaimer: Boys do not belong to me.
Warning: Genderbender. Yes, I went there.
Summary: Yunho accidentally makes a wish. Changmin doesn't understand why he has to be involved.
For
teyahtimeay who wanted genderbent homin. This is 120% your fault.
It begins like this:
Yunho saves some creepy looking woman in a black cloak from getting run over by an over overactive kid on rollerblades on what would have otherwise been an uneventful Monday morning. He spills Changmin’s coffee over both of them and he thinks that the woman might be slightly mad that he had ruined her shoes when she grabs his scarf and invades his personal space.
Then she sort of just clings and for a horrifying moment Yunho dreads that maybe she is a stalker fan cosplaying as Sadako when she finally croaks out:
‘Your name.’
Yunho stares at the bangs covering half of her face.
‘What is…. your name.’
Yunho relaxes. The woman hadn’t screamed Oppa at his face or attempted to rip his clothes off so he considers her harmless, even if slightly weird.
‘Jung Yunho,’ he replies, ‘What’s your name?’
‘Jung Yunho,’ she repeats, ignoring his question. ‘You have saved my life, and now my life is yours.’
‘But I don’t want your life,’ he tells her.
She tugs hard on his scarf and Yunho chokes a little. ‘If it is not my life that you want, then what do you want?’
‘Look,’ Yunho chokes out, ‘I need to go, Changmin will be mad if I turned up late to practice.’
Another tug on his scarf and Yunho’s mood soured.
‘Hey! Don’t pull, Changmin got this scarf for me for my birthday! If you ruin it he will take your life.’
The hand on his scarf loosened and the woman stepped back.
‘This is difficult,’ she muttered, ‘I must pay you back, but you don’t want anything…’
‘Look,’ Yunho interrupted, ‘I’m glad you’re okay, but I really have to go or people might start to recognise me and then I’d be in all sorts of trouble, so -‘
‘You don’t want people to recognise you?’ the woman asked, suddenly in his face again.
‘Er,’ Yunho takes a step back, ‘Sometimes I wish that Changmin and I could spend a day outside without worrying about being trampled by fangirls or having people staring at us constantly…’
‘This Changmin…’
His ring tone cuts her short and Yunho grimaces. He had spilled Changmin’s coffee and he was late. Maybe if he got a donut he could distract Changmin with it.
And then gets complicated like this:
‘You are telling me,’ Changmin says slowly, anger evident in the precise articulation of each syllable, ‘that the reason we are like this is because you made a stupid wish and just happened to include my name in it -‘
Yunho takes a step back.
‘- even though you clearly had no right to make any wishes on my behalf.’
Yunho’s hands are raised defensively, ‘I didn’t know it was a wish. I don’t even believe in magic, heck I still can’t believe this is even possible, how-‘
‘Shut up!’ Changmin cries.
They are both silent for a moment as Changmin’s eyes widen. That came out a lot higher than expected.
‘Oh my god,’ Changmin wails, ‘I scream like a girl.’
‘Well you kind of are a girl now,’ Yunho adds unhelpfully.
‘And whose fault is that?’ Changmin glares.
‘Look, I’m pretty sure I said I wanted to spend one day with you without being recognised, so maybe we will return to normal tomorrow?’
‘But we have a schedule. There are meetings on today that we have to attend, what are we supposed to do?’
Yunho didn’t believe it was possible, but Changmin just got even more adorable. Her eyes seem wider now that the rest of her features have softened and her hands… her hands look so soft and small that Yunho wants desperately to touch them.
‘Oh my god!’ Changmin cries, ‘You’re checking me out!’
Yunho doesn’t even attempt to deny it, ‘Changminnie, you’re kind of hot.’
Changmin makes an outraged noise, but then looks down at herself. She’s lost a couple of inches, but thinks she’s still tall; she stretches her legs across the couch and onto Yunho’s lap.
‘Yeah, I kind of am.’
‘You’ve just … shrunk,’ Yunho adds and gets a pillow to her face for this effort.
Yunho is trying to pry Changmin’s legs off her lap (really, the brat can be so ill-mannered sometimes) when the door bell rings. They exchange identical looks of terror and Yunho jumps off the couch and makes for the door when Changmin grabs her ankles, effectively tripping her onto the carpet.
‘What the hell do you think you are doing?’ Changmin hisses.
‘What the hell do you think you’re doing,’ Yunho hisses back, ‘It’s probably manager hyung. If he doesn’t see us for an entire day he’ll probably report us missing or kidnapped and the media will have a field day!’
‘He’ll probably report us if we do tell him!’
‘Look, just listen to me Changmin -‘
‘No, I always listen to you, this time you have to listen to me!’
‘The hell you always listen me,’ Yunho cries, trying to pry Changmin’s fingers away from her ankles. When she fails, she leans over and bites Changmin’s hands. Changmin’s cry was very unmanly, and more importantly, very loud.
‘I know you’re both in there!’ their manager hollers through the door. ‘Come on Yunho, drag Changmin away from the fridge if you have to. Tell him I have coffee.’
‘Coffee…’ Changmin mutters from somewhere under Yunho’s calves. Their tangled limbs intertwined to form a sort of demented pretzel.
‘Let’s talk to him,’ Yunho says softly and pulls Changmin up so that they were at eye level.
‘mmm … okay,’ Changmin agrees absent minded.
The attempt at simplifying things fails like this:
Changmin lunges for the paper coffee cup as soon as the door opens.
‘Hyung,’ Yunho says, ‘I’m really sorry but -‘
‘Who are you and what are you doing in Shim Changmin’s home,’ their manager says. There’s a dangerous edge to his voice and Yunho realises that she needed to explain faster or they really might end up getting reported to the police.
‘Oh my god,’ Changmin cries, both hands around the coffee cup and a tiny bit of froth at the corner of her lip. ‘I’ve drunk coffee and I still have tits so this is not a dream.’
Yunho sees their manager reach for his phone and grabs the man by the shoulders. There was no time for proper explanations.
‘Yunho and Changmin are out … on a break,’ Yunho rushes out, she has absolutely no idea where this is going. ‘They want to just have a day together without everyone recognising them, so they are um… out. In the woods somewhere. Where there are no people to harass them. Yeah.’
Changmin, who looks like she has finally regained her senses after that brief collapse of attention, is staring at Yunho in horror.
‘What are they doing out in the woods?’ the manager asks.
‘They are not in the woods,’ Changmin cuts in, throwing Yunho a glare, ‘They are … they are just off playing paintball. You know, all covered up trying to shoot each other with fake guns.’
‘Yunho and Changmin wouldn’t be so irresponsible,’ their manager narrows his eyes at them and Yunho shoots Changmin a worried look.
‘They just wanted to have some time together okay?’ Changmin cries helplessly. ‘They will be back tomorrow.’
Their manager seems to consider this for a moment before sighing deeply.
‘I knew this day would come,’ he says solemnly, ‘and quite honestly it is long overdue. The constant tension was killing all of us. I just hope they manage to work everything out.’
‘Errrr’ Yunho says coherently.
‘Who are you anyway?’ The manager turns his attention back to Yunho.
‘We are -‘ Yunho starts, but is interrupted by Changmin’s elbow to her stomach.
‘Cousins,’ Changmin says. ‘I’m related to Changmin and he’s related to Yunho and they let us stay here for a while’
The manager is silent for a moment before nodding.
‘I can see the resemblance.’
‘Right,’ Yunho says awkwardly.
Then their manager adds, ‘Just don’t … get too excited, Changmin is a bit of a clean freak and he probably won’t like people getting too physical in his home.’ Now his face is beet red, ‘and also maybe try not to be too loud.’
Changmin doesn’t know what she says after that but the door is shut quickly and she shoves at Yunho.
‘What?’ Yunho cries, and waves her arms in confusion, ‘He probably meant you, since you were the one screaming.’
‘You bit me and now our manager thinks we’re lesbians!’
Yunho ignores her and collapses horizontally onto the couch. Changmin kicks at her legs until she makes room for Changmin to fit too.
‘I can’t believe he just let us off like that,’ Yunho says, ‘What if we were really missing or kidnapped?’
‘He probably thought that we were out working things out.’
‘Working things out as in…’ Yunho drifts off as her eyes widen. ‘Do you think he knows?’
‘How am I supposed to know?’ Changmin cries, ‘He mentioned tension, maybe if you would stop staring at my crotch in public, he wouldn’t know!’
‘I don’t stare at your crotch in public,’ Yunho says with a frown.
‘I stare at your legs.’
Distraction happens like this:
They dress in their own clothes, even though the T-shirts feel loose and the pants baggy. Yunho tightens her belt and rolls up the ends of her pants, because she has lost a few inches too.
Changmin throws a sweater at her face.
‘What?’ Yunho asks, but puts on the sweater anyway.
‘I can see your nipples,’ Changmin says simply.
Yunho looks down.
‘Oh my god Changminnie, I can’t see my toes! It’s like I’m pregnant!’
‘You’re not pregnant, you’ve just got breasts.’
Yunho jumps a little and then wraps her arms around her chest.
‘I think I need a bra.’
Changmin walks up to her and presses a hand against one breast.
‘Oh,’ Yunho says, eyes widening.
‘Oh,’ Changmin says and her eyes darken slightly.
Courage is shown like this:
An hour and a half later they leave the house arguing.
‘You still like women!’ Changmin accuses and stomps ahead of Yunho.
‘Oh that’s rich,’ Yunho says, quickening her steps to catch up with Changmin. ‘You didn’t seem so uninterested just a few minutes ago.’
When Changmin ignores her, Yunho grabs her and pulls Changmin to face her.
‘I like you,’ she says and stares Changmin dead in the eyes.
‘… yeah…’ Changmin stutters, willing her heart to stop pounding so loudly in her ears because they’ve been together for so long it’s simply not fair that Yunho’s proximity is still able to affect her like this.
‘It’s the same for me.’
‘Good,’ Yunho says and then grins and takes Changmin’s hand in hers and pulls them down the street.
‘Wait, what are you doing?’ Changmin cries, trying not to trip and looking around to see if anyone is paying them any attention.
‘Can’t you see?’ Yunho asks, her smile is wide and so carefree that Changmin feels strangely lightheaded, ‘No one recognises us. We can hold hands and no one will look twice at us.’
Changmin’s eyes widen as she stops, causing Yunho to stop walking as well. She stares at their joined hands in disbelief. One look at Yunho confirms that Yunho is feeling just as overwhelmed. For the first time they could hold hands in public without hiding anything. People might think the pair of girls was affectionate, but they certainly wouldn’t end up as front page news or end their careers.
Then Yunho brushes Changmin’s short hair away from her face and presses their foreheads together. Somewhere in the distance there is loud cough. An old woman is staring at them looking thoroughly scandalised. A few other onlookers were glancing at them discretely.
Changmin suddenly laughs, finding it hysterical that even when they couldn’t be recognised, they managed to gather unwanted attention.
‘Are you scared?’ she whispers against Yunho’s neck.
Yunho smiles at her.
‘Then I think we should scandalise everyone a little more,’ Changmin says and then kisses Yunho straight on the lips in the middle of the street.
The adventure ends like this:
They get Yunho a bra because Changmin thinks it would be hilarious. No one questions them when they enter into one change room together.
Then Yunho makes Changmin get a bra and they shove and laugh at each other until they reach the cash register.
It is afternoon when Yunho drags Changmin to the amusement park because she thinks that’s how ordinary people date. Changmin doesn’t bother arguing with her because neither of them has been ordinary for a very long time.
At night they watch the digital clock on the bedside table with both fear and anticipation until Yunho unplugs it and turns off the lights. They fall asleep against each other and wake up with their limbs intertwined.
Yunho slides a hand between Changmin’s legs and offers him a smile.
‘We’re back.’
Changmin presses a hand against Yunho’s chest and smirks.
‘Are you sure?’
The story continues like this:
They meet their manager and apologise profusely while trying to avoid questions about their visiting cousins.
The schedule for the day is twice as relentless to make up for the previous day’s absence, but the melancholy surrounding the two of them has nothing to do with their work.
It starts raining in the middle of an outdoor shooting and they found themselves sharing one umbrella.
‘I’ll get the car,’ their manager says before running off.
Around them, people rush to pack up the equipment and to get out of the rain. Yunho shifts closer to Changmin until their sides are pressed together, their fingers brushing against each other.
‘As long as I’m with you, I have everything I could wish for,’ he says.
Changmin throws Yunho a fierce look and links their fingers together briefly before reluctantly letting go. It is enough for Yunho to understand what he doesn’t convey in words.
Changmin heart is still pounding when the car arrives. They both climb into the back seat. If their manager thought it was strange that they were sitting so closely together when there was plenty of room to spread out, he doesn’t say anything.
Changmin watches the scenery pass beyond the window when he catches sight of a figure dressed in a long black cloak standing on the sidewalk. He is about to point this out to Yunho when he finds Yunho already staring at him. He remembers the story behind every scar on Yunho’s face, the location of each mole on his skin. Yunho may not be the most handsome man he’s ever met, but Changmin thinks that he is kind of perfect in all his imperfections. He thinks that they are kind of perfect together with all their imperfections. Upon closer inspection, he finds Yunho staring at -
‘Stop staring at my legs,’ he hisses.
Yunho shakes his head.
‘No, I’m definitely staring at your crotch.’