Variations on a Love Song
Title: Variations on a Love Song
Pairing: Kai/Kyungsoo (side Kris/Chanyeol)
Rating: NC-17
Genre: fluff, college au
Length: 9,800
Summary: Kyungsoo is kind of, sort of, slightly, probably, mostly, head over heels in love.
Variations on a Love Song
“I can’t believe this,” Chanyeol groans, throwing himself down into the chair across from Kyungsoo. Some kid sitting at a nearby table shoots him a poisonous glare but Chanyeol gives him the finger and continues moaning loudly.
“Okay, you do realize this is a library,” Kyungsoo hisses, looking around to see if there are any librarians lurking amongst the shelves. “You couldn’t have texted me and asked me to meet you somewhere you’re actually allowed to be loud and annoying?”
“No time,” Chanyeol says, his voice muffled by his sleeve as he buries his head in his arms. “My life is over, I tell you! Over!”
“Okay, okay, tell me about it when we get outside, I’m getting us out of here before I get banned for life,” Kyungsoo whispers, grabbing his stack of books and Chanyeol’s wrist before dragging him up and out of his chair. Chanyeol, of course, doesn’t wait until they’re outside before continuing his rant, which earns them a lot of glares as they thump down four flights of stairs and out into the open air.
“I didn’t mean to do it, it just sort of happened and now he’ll never speak to me again and what am I going to do? This is not how I wanted this to go!”
“Okay, I’m only going to ask you one more time what the hell you’re talking about,” Kyungsoo says, taking large gulps of the crisp autumn air.
“Wu Fan, obviously!” Chanyeol wails as Kyungsoo pushes him down into a chair outside the campus coffee shop. Luckily, it’s a quiet day so they’re the only ones using the outdoor tables, otherwise Kyungsoo can imagine they’d be receiving many more annoyed glances from fellow patrons, especially when Chanyeol gestures wildly with his hands and knocks over a nearby chair.
“The basketball kid?” Kyungsoo asks with a sigh, getting up to right the chair, and Chanyeol huffs in annoyance, crossing his arms over his chest.
“He’s not the basketball kid,” he says self-righteously. “He’s Wu Fan, and he’s tall and dark and handsome and smart and nice and basically everything I’ve ever wanted in my entire life. Except for the lack of a sense of humor but I plan on working with him on that.”
“So…what’s the problem?” Kyungsoo asks, shoving some of the books he’d dumped onto the table back into his backpack. “Is he straight or something?”
“I don’t know,” Chanyeol sighs, leaning back in his chair and stretching out his long legs so they knock against Kyungsoo’s shins in a rather painful way. “And now I will never know. Because he will never talk to me again.”
“Well, what did you do?” Kyungsoo asks in a long-suffering manner. He’s had to listen to Chanyeol wax poetic about the many admirable qualities of Wu Fan aka Kris aka Basketball God aka Park Chanyeol’s Potential Soulmate for the past year and a half, and he’s actually kind of impressed that Chanyeol finally worked up the courage to talk to him, even if he ended up making a complete and total fool of himself. Chanyeol seems to have a habit of doing that.
“Well, I was sitting with Baekhyun and Tao in the dining hall when all of a sudden he came over to talk to Tao about a project because apparently they’re in some architecture design class together, and I made a really lame joke but he actually smiled and so I got all excited and then. And then…” Chanyeol trails off in favor of fixing Kyungsoo with his best sad-puppy-dog stare.
“Okay, as riveting as this story is, I actually have somewhere to be in a few minutes so make it fast or you’ll have to wait for class tomorrow to tell me.”
“Wait, where do you have to go?” Chanyeol says suspiciously, giving Kyungsoo an odd look. Not that Kyungsoo can blame him-he’s not exactly the most social person, and with a major in chemical engineering it’s not like he has much time for extracurriculars. The most recreational thing Kyungsoo probably does is staying up until 2am trying to type out whatever stories and thoughts are swirling around in his head before they disappear. Oh, and playing video games but he tries not to bring that up in public.
“I have a thing,” he says vaguely, waving a hand, and Chanyeol narrows his eyes to ridiculously tiny slits and he probably think he looks accusatory but he actually just looks like an idiot.
“I’m leaving,” Kyungsoo says, pretending to grab his bag, scooting backwards just as Chanyeol lunges for him, shoving him back down into his seat.
“Okay, okay! I’ll tell you!” Chanyeol says as Kyungsoo rubs his shoulders and winces. “But you have to promise to give me good advice, okay?”
“Just tell me what the problem is,” Kyungsoo says loudly, emphasizing each word.
“I kind of…askedhimtoplaybasketballwithmesometime?” Chanyeol says quickly, slurring his words together in the way he usually does when he’s embarrassed.
“You did what?” Kyungsoo gasps, trying not to burst out laughing. He fails spectacularly.
“Hey! You promised to help,” Chanyeol says with a pout. “Laughing at me is not exactly helping.”
“It’s just-you asked-Chanyeol!” Kyungsoo snickers. “You don’t even know how to play basketball!”
“I do too,” Chanyeol sniffs. “I played on my school team in fifth grade.”
“Okay, correction, my apologies,” Kyungsoo says with a wry smile, “You barely know how to play basketball, and you offered to play with a guy who’s practically NBA material? Why would you do that?”
“I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know! I just really wanted him to like me,” Chanyeol moans, leaning forward and grabbing Kyungsoo’s cheeks so he’s looking him right in the eyes. “You have to help me.”
“Let go of me,” Kyungsoo grunts, pulling his face out of Chanyeol’s grasp. “I don’t see what you expect me to do. I’m even less athletically inclined than you are. Go find Baekhyun or something and ask him.”
“Baekhyun knows the score of every NBA game played in the past ten years but that doesn’t mean he can teach me how to play basketball in a week,” Chanyeol says doubtfully.
“Well, it seems like that’s the only option you have at this point,” Kyungsoo says, standing and slinging his backpack over his shoulders. “But now I really do have to go so you’ll have to find someone else to complain to.”
“I can’t believe you’re doing this to me,” Chanyeol yells as he walks away across the quad. “Some friend you are!”
“The best!” Kyungsoo shouts back over his shoulder, before turning a corner and slipping behind a building. After checking to make sure he’s out of Chanyeol’s line of sight, he starts heading in the opposite direction, walking around the backsides of buildings to make sure no one sees him. It’s not that he’s embarrassed about what he’s doing. Lots of people enjoy going to dance performances. It’s just that he doesn’t want to have to explain his sudden fascination with their school’s dance department to any of his friends. Because there’s a fairly simple explanation for it that he never wants to get into, and its name is Kim Jongin.
*
Kyungsoo’s not sure exactly when he first saw Jongin-it might have been just a chance locking of eyes across a crowded coffee shop or lecture hall. But soon enough, he started noticing Jongin everywhere-his creative writing class, the dining hall, the library. And it hadn’t taken much sleuthing for Kyungsoo to learn that Jongin spent most of his time in the school’s dance studio, practicing and choreographing. Jongin is a dancer.
Kyungsoo’s never been one to let himself fall for nothing but a pretty face, but with Jongin it’s different. Jongin is striking in a way that makes Kyungsoo’s throat close up just thinking about him, but Kyungsoo also knows there are depths to him that he never lets other people see. They come out a little in his writing, and a lot in his dancing. Which is why Kyungsoo tries to make it to every performance Jongin’s in, even if he has to sit through hours of performances by college students who wanted to “try something new” before Jongin comes out with his group of experienced dancers-Yixing, Taeyeon, Minseok, Hyukjae, Amber-names Kyungsoo’s learned as much from recital programs as from dorm gossip. They’re all ridiculously beautiful and talented but, at least to Kyungsoo, Jongin’s dancing has this whole other dimension the rest of them lack. When he’s onstage performing, he’s all subtle winks and suave confidence that has the audience swooning. But as soon as the curtains close, he disappears rather than staying around to chat with friends or fellow performers the way the others do. Kyungsoo wonders where he goes.
By the time Kyungsoo makes it to the theater they’ve already started to dim the lights, and he curses softly under his breath as he scans the rows of occupied seats, looking for an empty spot. That’s when he hears an unfamiliar voice whispering his name, and turns to see a boy with bleached-blond hair motioning to him from a few rows away. The boy looks vaguely familiar but Kyungsoo definitely doesn’t remember ever being introduced. He decides to slide into the seat next to him anyway, because what could possibly happen?
“Oh Sehun,” the boy says quietly, reaching out a hand that Kyungsoo gratefully grasps, relieved that the boy-Sehun-didn’t expect him to know his name. “I think we’re in the same math class?”
“Oh!” Kyungsoo says, suddenly remembering. “You’re the kid who finds all the teacher’s mistakes on the tests and gets us extra points.”
“I guess,” Sehun says with a lopsided grin that Kyungsoo can just make out in the darkened theater. “And you’re the kid who falls asleep in every lecture and still manages to ace the exams.”
“It’s not my fault the lecture is at an ungodly 8:30am!” Kyungsoo sniffs, but he relaxes when he sees Sehun is smiling. “But wow, a freshman in vector calculus, pretty impressive.”
“Ah, it’s nothing,” Sehun mutters, turning his eyes to the stage, where the curtain is just beginning to slide open. “Are you here to see anyone in particular?”
“What? Me? No! No, no,” Kyungsoo says, a little louder than he means to, earning him some harsh shushes from the people sitting around him as some very strangely dressed students on stage start in on what appears to be a breakdance take on the theme from Swan Lake.
“You?” Kyungsoo asks, recovering himself enough to whisper. Sehun gives him a strange look but doesn’t press the matter.
“Yeah, I’m here to see Jongin-do you know him? He’s my roommate. Everyone tells me he’s an amazing dancer so I figured I’d go see him for once.”
“Oh,” Kyungsoo says softly, hands clasped limply in his lap. Because of course he would end up sitting next to the one kid in the room with a personal connection to Kim Jongin.
The first three dances are over blessedly quickly, especially considering their-in Kyungsoo’s opinion-incredibly poor presentation. Then there’s a salsa showcase that Kyungsoo actually really enjoys. And then it’s Jongin’s turn.
The group of ten or so dancers struts onto the stage to the strains of a pop song Kyungsoo actually knows, music beating almost as loudly in his ears as his heart is beating in his chest.
The dance is incredible, every dancer poised, quick, and professional, and Kyungsoo watches Jongin with amazement. Though he prefers when Jongin dances ballet-quiet restraint to match the music barely masking Jongin’s blazing joy at being in motion-this type of dancing is where he really shines.
Jongin flows so easily with the music, pushed along by the beat in a way that looks completely effortless, and Kyungsoo is entranced, eyes still following Jongin when the final notes sound and the crowd goes wild, Sehun jumping to his feet along with the rest of the audience to give a standing ovation.
As the lights go on and dancers spill off the stage, mingling with friends and relatives and instructors, Sehun grabs Kyungsoo’s sleeve and says, “Come on, I bet we can catch Jongin if we hurry-he usually sneaks out the back so he doesn’t have to fight his way through the crowd.”
And this is not what Kyungsoo wanted at all, he is definitely not prepared for this, but he doesn’t fight back as Sehun drags him up the aisle, pushing aside chattering students until they make it out the double doors and into the cold night air.
“Hey! Jongin!” Sehun yells, waving at a dark shape slinking past a sputtering streetlamp, and Kyungsoo feels something heavy shift in his stomach as the light illuminates Jongin’s glittering eyes and warm smile.
“You came!” he says happily, moving forward as if to give Sehun a hug, but he stops short when he sees Kyungsoo standing awkwardly behind Sehun’s shoulder.
“Oh, this is Kyungsoo,” Sehun quickly explains, slapping Jongin on the back in what Kyungsoo supposes he thinks is a manly way. “We’re in the same math class, and we met up in the theater.”
“I-I think we’re in the same writing class?” Kyungsoo manages to sputter, running a hand through his hair in a vain attempt to flatten it down a little. Did he even brush it this morning? He can’t remember. Oh, god, this is not how he wanted this evening to go.
“Right, right,” Jongin says with another easy smile that threatens to melt all of Kyungsoo’s internal organs in a very distressing way. “You wrote that amazing story about the guardian angel. You’re like a literary genius.”
“No! No, not at all,” Kyungsoo laughs a bit too loudly. “I mean, I think your work is much better, it’s just so real and vibrant I feel like I’m right there in the action, you know, and I-”
“Well, are we gonna go out and celebrate another successful night of Kim Jongin breaking hearts and taking names or what?” Sehun crows, cutting off Kyungsoo’s babbling as he grabs Jongin’s arm and starts to pull him off in the direction of the freshman dormitory.
“I’ll see you around, Kyungsoo,” Jongin shouts with a wave before he turns and shoves Sehun off of him, the two of them playfully pushing each other off the path as they disappear into the darkness.
“Bye,” Kyungsoo says weakly into the night.
*
“Okay, you have to tell me what’s wrong with you,” Chanyeol says through a mouthful of rice. Kyungsoo considers telling him how disgusting it is when he talks with food in his mouth but decides against it in case he needs to use it as leverage someday.
“Nothing’s wrong,” Kyungsoo says, using a chopstick to shove a morsel of fish around and around the edge of his plate.
“Are you kidding?” Chanyeol laughs, spraying half-chewed bits of rice across the table and narrowly missing Kyungsoo’s hand. “You’ve barely said a word in two days and now you’re not even eating. Are you dying or something?”
“No, I’m not dying, you idiot,” Kyungsoo mumbles, shoving his plate away with a sigh.
“Wait,” Chanyeol says, piece of pork halfway to his mouth. “Are you a spy? Are you upset because you’ve just received your next mission and you know you might never be able to see any of us ever again and all you want is to live a normal life but now you’re trapped in the game and can never escape?”
“If I were, you’re making it more and more likely with every word that I will not be sad never to see your face again.”
“Then what?” Chanyeol asks, kicking Kyungsoo in the shin under the table. Kyungsoo tries to retaliate but Chanyeol manages to move his legs out of the way in time, snickering.
“It’s…about Jongin,” Kyungsoo finally says, and he can see the gears turning in Chanyeol’s head and he’s seriously reconsidering a few of his life decisions right now.
“The dancer, Jongin?” Chanyeol asks, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. “Ooh, Kyungsoo, I would never have pegged him for your type! So you like them a little dark and moody, huh?”
“Shut up,” Kyungsoo groans, wondering why he ever tells Chanyeol anything.
“This is fantastic!” Chanyeol crows. “I’ve been stuck on the Magnificent Wu Fan since freshman year and in all that time I don’t think you’ve had a crush on a single person. Baekhyun and I were beginning to get worried that you would spend the rest of your life alone and turn into one of those crotchety old men who yell at small children for running across their lawns.”
“You’re not allowed to tell anyone! Understand?” Kyungsoo says desperately, eyes darting around the dining hall as if expecting Baekhyun or Luhan to suddenly pop out of nowhere. It wouldn’t be the first time.
“Sure, sure,” Chanyeol says, but Kyungsoo can tell he’s not really listening. “Have you talked to him yet? Ask him out for coffee, I bet dancers like coffee. Although he’ll probably say no, I mean he’s got basically the entire female population of the freshman class after him, as well as some of the more attractive males…”
Kyungsoo simply buries his head in his hands and hopes he’ll be able to forget all about Jongin.
*
Strangely enough, the next time they meet is in a coffee shop, but it’s not due to any smooth talking on Kyungsoo’s part. He’s just there doing homework with Chanyeol or, more accurately, watching Chanyeol as he finishes his own homework and Kyungsoo’s as well. It’s not that Kyungsoo doesn’t work hard-he probably spends more hours in the library than anyone he knows. But when it comes to boring math assignments, why deny Chanyeol the pleasure of being able to criticize his pathetic abilities while simultaneously not having to do any of the pointless busywork? So Kyungsoo’s feeling very relaxed, peacefully sipping his coffee and gazing out the window, when Chanyeol suddenly sits up.
“Jongin! Sehun! Hey! Over here!”
Kyungsoo jerks upright so quickly his coffee sloshes over into his lap and he hisses in pain, grabbing a handful of napkins and trying to soak up the burning liquid.
“Hey Chanyeol,” Sehun says with a grin, “And how goes the quest to find the equation for an alternate dimension?”
“It’s going, it’s going,” Chanyeol says with a wave of the hand. “And when I find it you’ll all be sorry you doubted me. Oh, look! I think they’re calling your names, Sehun you wanna come grab those with me?”
And before Kyungsoo can protest or flee or throw up or do any of the things he really, really wants to do, he’s left alone with Jongin.
“So…how goes the short story?” Kyungsoo asks, inwardly berating himself for not coming up with more exciting topics to talk about than schoolwork.
“Fine, you know,” Jongin says good-naturedly, pulling up a chair from a nearby table and sitting down across from Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo tries studiously to ignore the way the sunshine makes his eyes look clear and deep and warm. “It’s been hard to find time to write recently, what with the dance showcase and all. Now that that’s over, I’m sure I’ll have more time.”
“Yeah, yeah, that makes sense,” Kyungsoo says and Jongin must think he’s a complete idiot, Kyungsoo really doesn’t understand why he’s still sitting here and he especially doesn’t understand why it’s taking Chanyeol so long to grab a few coffees. Is he hand-grinding the beans or something?
Jongin laughs brightly and Kyungsoo feels a strange swoop of happiness in his stomach at the same time a blush of embarrassment spreads across his cheeks as he realizes he said that last part out loud.
“So, what are you working on?” Jongin asks, picking up one of the papers sprawled across the table. “Looks complicated.”
“Oh, it’s just math. Multi-variable calculus. You know.”
“Well, I’ve only done single variable stuff but I definitely don’t remember calculus having this many Greek letters,” Jongin says thoughtfully, thin fingers flicking deftly through the pages of a notebook.
“Oh, that’s probably Chanyeol’s then,” Kyungsoo says quickly. “He’s a theoretical physics major so he’s doing all sorts of crazy math.”
“Are you a physicist too?” Jongin asks, shooting Kyungsoo a glance from under his dark lashes that maybe makes Kyungsoo’s heart skip a beat.
“No, no,” he laughs, only a tiny bit hysterically. “I’m an engineer. That’s why I’m not using all those fancy variables.”
“Wow, engineering,” Jongin mutters, and Kyungsoo isn’t quite sure whether he’s being sarcastic or not. “I could never do that. I like books too much.”
“I like them too, which is why I’m taking that creative writing class,” Kyungsoo says, smiling. “And Chanyeol says that engineering is for plebeians but I like it. It makes me feel like I can do something to save the world, you know?”
“Yeah, I know what you mean,” Jongin says with a small smile and this time Kyungsoo’s heart definitely trips over itself. “That’s why I want to go to med school someday. But for now I’m just an English major and this math is way too scary for me.”
“Oh, I thought you were majoring in dance or something?” Kyungsoo asks, immediately regretting how stupid he sounds.
“I would be if I could have my way,” Jongin laughs. “But my parents said that if they were going to pay for med school I had to get a degree in something that could still be moderately useful in case I flunk out.”
“I’m sure you won’t flunk out!” Kyungsoo says, trying to hold back a furious blush. He’s going to kill Chanyeol.
“Well, you should come to watch us practice some time, if you want,” Jongin says hesitantly as Chanyeol and Sehun finally return, the former grinning in a way that reminds Kyungsoo of a demented clown and the latter nearly spilling hot coffee all over his fingers as he tries to sweep Kyungsoo’s piles of paper onto the floor to make room for the cups.
“Yeah, I’d like that,” Kyungsoo says faintly, ignoring the way Chanyeol’s eyes are burning holes in the side of his head.
“Every Tuesday and Thursday at 7pm,” Jongin says, standing and gathering his belongings. “See you guys.”
“Wow,” Chanyeol says, watching Jongin’s retreating figure. “When I left you two alone, I didn’t think you’d be able to scare him off that quickly. You really are going to die alone.”
“Chanyeol!” Kyungsoo hisses, but Sehun is already laughing.
“Don’t worry,” he says to Kyungsoo with a wide grin almost on par with Chanyeol’s for the look of idiocy it imparts on him. “You’re not exactly subtle, you know. I’m pretty sure the only person who has no idea is Jongin, and that’s because he’s pretty oblivious.”
“I hate everything,” Kyungsoo grumbles, but inside he’s glowing.
*
And Kyungsoo decides that this is really when Jongin looks best-when he’s alone on the floor, everyone else taking a break to drink water and chat, music blaring tinnily from a cheap pair of speakers, and Kyungsoo can get caught up in the motion of his body, the stretch of his muscles. Seeing Jongin like this makes Kyungsoo want to write, want to try to capture in words the way his sweat-slicked skin glimmers under the harsh studio lights and the way his dancing seems like an extension of the music rather than a companion to it.
“That was amazing,” he says when Jongin approaches him after practice, and Chanyeol-who Kyungsoo only brought for moral support, a decision he is quickly regretting-snorts loudly.
“Thanks,” Jongin says tiredly, wiping sweat from his forehead with a towel. “But we’ve still got a long way to go.”
“Well, I think it looks great,” Kyungsoo says, more confidently this time, and Jongin gives him that small smile Kyungsoo loves.
“Bye, Jongin,” the girl who Kyungsoo thinks is named Amber calls over her shoulder as she grabs her bag and water bottle. Her short hair falls prettily into her bright eyes, and Jongin smiles widely at her as she leaves, more widely than Kyungsoo’s ever seen him smile, and gives her a tiny wave.
“She’s really cute, right,” Jongin says hesitantly, and to Kyungsoo it sounds almost like a question rather than a statement but that’s probably just his overactive imagination acting up on him, which is why he responds with a rather unfortunately hurried, “Yeah, really hot, yup!”
Jongin gives him a look that Kyungsoo can’t quite decipher before grabbing his bag and heading out the door with a quiet, “See you later.”
The minute he’s gone, Kyungsoo deflates, sagging against the wall like his bones have suddenly turned to jelly. He’s actually not totally sure that they haven’t. He can feel Chanyeol giving him a look, and he sighs dramatically.
“So…that was super smooth, good work on that one,” Chanyeol says, amusement creeping into his voice as he continues in a high, mocking tone, “‘Oh, yes, Jongin, she’s so cute, almost as cute as you are-’”
“Shut up,” Kyungsoo mutters, covering his face with his hands. This is not turning out to be one of his better days. “Or I’ll tell Kris you want to bone him and that you don’t know the first thing about playing basketball.”
“You wouldn’t,” Chanyeol says, but his eyes are wide with worry. “Would you?”
“Just watch me,” Kyungsoo says stoically, standing up and shoving open the door, walking down the hallway trailed by a stream of profuse and increasingly desperate apologies from Chanyeol.
*
“I really think you should just go talk to him instead of sitting here staring at him like a lovesick puppy,” Baekhyun says conversationally as they’re sitting in the library studying.
Kyungsoo starts, tearing his gaze away from the nearby table where Jongin, Yixing, and Minseok are sitting, giggling, obviously not getting much work done.
“I told Chanyeol this was supposed to be a secret,” he groans.
“Yeah, so obviously now everyone knows,” Baekhyun says with an air of impatience. “What did you expect? But I’m serious, your face right now is serious affecting my ability to remember the structure of these organic molecules.”
“Romantic attraction is caused by some of those stupid organic molecules,” Kyungsoo mutters to himself. “Traitors.”
“I swear, if you don’t do something soon, I’m going to do something for you,” Baekhyun warns, shoving Kyungsoo so hard he almost falls out of his chair.
“Hey Kyungsoo! Can I ask you something?” And this time Kyungsoo does fall out of his chair, sparing a moment to kick a snickering Baekhyun as hard as he can before pulling himself up off the floor. He looks over to Jongin, from whom the loudly whispered request had come, and sees that Jongin looks a bit concerned. He quickly stands up, brushing himself off, and studiously ignores Baekhyun’s filthy muttering behind him as he walks over to their table.
“Are you free this weekend?” Jongin asks, and Kyungsoo is very aware of the fact that his only weekend plans were to stay in his room finishing his short story assignment and kicking Chanyeol’s ass at Call of Duty but he is also very aware of the fact that, when it comes to social interactions of any kind, “awkward” is one of the kindest words to describe his behavior.
“We’re having a party,” Yixing continues, and Kyungsoo turns to face him, glad to not have to look at Jongin’s perfect face and Jongin’s perfect fingers and Jongin’s perfect mouth. “And we thought it would be cool if you and your friends showed up.”
“Th-thanks for inviting us,” Kyungsoo manages to stammer, doing everything he can to avoid Jongin’s eyes. “We’ll definitely try to make it.”
“Great,” Jongin says, and his smile hits Kyungsoo right in the stomach like a ton of bricks.
*
“So, I would like to formally lodge a protest against this party,” Chanyeol says as they walk up the pathway leading to Yixing’s apartment, where the party is being held. “What kind of party doesn’t even start until 11pm? If they don’t have real drinks here than my opinion of the object of your affection and his friends is going to decrease dramatically.”
“And I’m sure they’ll all be devastated by that,” Kyungsoo sighs sarcastically, but secretly he also hopes there will be some sort of alcohol present. He doesn’t think he can handle talking to Jongin in such a crowded setting without a little encouragement.
Luckily, Minseok is the one to answer the door, grinning and motioning them towards the living room of the small apartment where there are indeed drinks. Chanyeol winks at Kyungsoo before grabbing a beer and wandering over to talk to Sehun. Kyungsoo takes a swallow of his own beer, grimacing at the taste, and wonders what he’s really doing here. A quick inspection of the room shows that Jongin is nowhere in sight, and Kyungsoo suddenly feels extremely silly. How could he have thought someone like Jongin would want to be friends with someone like him, much less anything more? This has all been a terrible mistake.
He hears the door to the apartment open and whirls around, but it’s just Wu Fan giving Minseok an awkward half-smile in response to his greeting. Kyungsoo takes vicious pleasure in watching Chanyeol start so hard he drops his can of beer and then has to clamor for napkins to wipe up the mess.
In an effort to look busy, Kyungsoo wanders into the kitchen and leans against the counter, staring out the window at the night sky. Just as he’s about to engage in some deep philosophical reverie about what he’s doing with his life and his purpose in the universe, he hears Sehun’s voice behind him.
“I’m sure he’ll show up,” Sehun says consolingly. “But you don’t have to wait in here. Come have fun with us! We’re going to play drunk Mario Kart later, I think.”
And Kyungsoo is not really one for parties or for getting drunk, or for falling in love for that matter. But it’s so dark outside and so warm in the apartment so why not?
“Sure,” he says, smiling, and follows Sehun out into the living room.
Kyungsoo’s not sure how many beers he’s drunk, or even sure how many hours he’s been at the party, before Jongin shows up. Contrary to past experiences, he’s actually having a good time-Jongin and Sehun’s friends turn out to be decent people, Minseok demonstrating a few card tricks that amaze everyone in the room-“a drunk audience is a magician’s best friend,” he whispers conspiratorially to Kyungsoo as he shoves another beer into his hand-and Yixing does an impression of one of the most notoriously uptight professors on campus that has the party exploding in gales of laughter. They do play drunk Mario Kart and Kyungsoo wins, of course, because this is basically what he’s spent his life preparing for.
He almost misses it when Wu Fan puts an arm around a giggling Chanyeol and steers him unsteadily away from the party towards the bathroom, and Kyungsoo really hopes they lock the door because the last thing he wants is for anyone to walk in on them doing…whatever they’re doing.
“Jongin! It’s you!” Sehun slurs suddenly, stumbling over to the door and draping himself over Jongin’s shoulders. It’s obvious Jongin isn’t exactly sober either-his eyes are too bright and he can’t quite mark a straight line across the room as he wanders over to the television, Sehun in tow.
“Oh, hey, Kyungsoo,” he says, and maybe it’s just the alcohol talking but his voice seems deeper than usual, sexier, and it goes straight to Kyungsoo’s cock and oh, god, please let him not get an erection right here in the middle of the party.
“We wondered where you were!” Sehun says, throwing himself down on the couch next to a girl who Kyungsoo thinks is named Jinri. She’s in the middle of beating Luhan-when did Luhan even get here?-at some video game, and she merely shrugs as Sehun leans his head against her shoulder.
“I was just hanging out with some friends,” Jongin says, voice still a little too deep, and Kyungsoo shudders when he reaches out a hand and places it gently on Kyungsoo’s shoulder.
“Was Amber there?” Kyungsoo asks without quite knowing why. Jongin gives him a confused look.
“Yeah, she was,” he says. “Why?”
“Oh, no reason at all,” Kyungsoo says, and he knows his voice is too loud and sounds a tad too accusatory but he can’t help himself. “I hope you two are very happy together.”
“Kyungsoo, what are you-” Jongin asks in confusion, but Kyungsoo has already wrenched himself up off the couch and stumbled off in direction of one of the bedrooms. He suddenly doesn’t feel very good at all and since the bathroom is still being…occupied…the best he can hope for is collapsing in one of the dark rooms and waiting until his head stops spinning.
But almost as soon as he closes the door, flopping facedown on the bed, he hears it open again, and the lightness of the steps gives Jongin away immediately.
“Go away,” Kyungsoo says, his voice muffled by the comforter.
“Look, I’m not in love with Amber,” Jongin says, and Kyungsoo can hear the smile in his voice and he hates how it makes his stomach jump so pleasantly.
“Whatever,” Kyungsoo grunts, and he knows he’s probably making a terrible impression on this boy he would very much like to kiss, but he just can’t bring himself to care. Because if it isn’t Amber it’ll be someone else, someone like Jinri or Taeyeon or Jia, someone with soft hair and flowery perfume and everything Kyungsoo doesn’t have.
“Please, will you at least look at me?” Jongin asks, sitting down on the edge of the bed. Sighing, Kyungsoo manages to pull himself into an upright position, and he squeals in a very unmanly way when Jongin’s weight on the bed sends him sliding down until they’re crushed against each other, thigh to thigh.
“I don’t have anything to say to you,” Kyungsoo says shortly, staring hard at his shoes.
“I don’t get it,” Jongin says faintly, and Kyungsoo can hear the hurt in his voice and he suddenly feels a sharp pain in his chest at the idea that he’s the cause of it. “I just want you to like me.”
And Kyungsoo isn’t quite sure why he does it, he blames it on the alcohol, the darkness of the room, his stupid libido, Jongin’s stupid dark eyes, but he’s suddenly reaching up, placing his palms on either side of Jongin’s face, and kissing him.
Jongin’s completely still for a few moments, but then Kyungsoo can feel him relaxing into the kiss, arms coming up to pull Kyungsoo closer, slotting their mouths together more tightly. And then Jongin’s tongue is sliding against his lips and this is more than Kyungsoo ever hoped for, and he can barely spare the time to blush at the small moan that drops out when his mouth falls open under Jongin’s touch.
And then Jongin’s warm hands are slipping under Kyungsoo’s shirt, ghosting up and down his sides, and Kyungsoo is shivering so hard he can feel his inside rattling, and all he can think about is the taste of Jongin’s mouth and the warmth of Jongin’s hands against his skin and the feel of Jongin’s hair as he tangles his fingers in it, pulling him even closer.
And Kyungsoo’s not entirely sure how he ended up straddling Jongin’s lap, but suddenly he can feel Jongin’s erection against his thigh and he reaches down a tentative hand to press against Jongin’s zipper. And that’s when everything stops.
Jongin’s standing so suddenly Kyungsoo almost falls to the ground before being able to get his balance, and then Jongin’s pushing past him, wrenching the door open, and darting out into the light of the hallway.
Kyungsoo tries to stumble after him, yelling a bit incoherently about being sorry and being able to explain, but he doesn’t get far before he bumps into Sehun and Luhan, who are rolling beer cans down the hallway and laughing hysterically for totally unknown reasons and it’s too late.
Jongin’s gone.
*
When Kyungsoo wakes up the next morning, head pounding and tongue feeling like he spent the night licking a herd of sheep, he can’t even work up a good leer for Chanyeol, who came stumbling into their room at around four in the morning and promptly fell asleep on the floor before even reaching his bed.
Sighing, he gets up and heads to the bathroom, hoping that splashing gallons of cold water on his face will somehow be able to drown out the memories of last night. In the end he gives up and just decides to take a shower, standing under the hot, misty spray until he starts feeling almost like a normal human being again. A normal human being whose soul has been crushed nearly beyond repair.
It’s even worse when he comes back to the room to find Chanyeol lying on his bed, humming, and smiling like he just won the lottery.
“Well, I’m glad at least one of us had a good night,” Kyungsoo says bitterly, considering exactly how childish he would seem if he stood over Chanyeol’s bed and dripped water in his eyes.
“My life,” Chanyeol says sighing heavily, “is so perfect right now.”
“Are you gonna tell me what happened last night with the man of your dreams?” Kyungsoo asks, deciding that he can spare a few seconds out of his miserable day to listen to his friend’s successes.
“Well, now he’s really going to be the man of my dreams, if you catch my drift,” Chanyeol says, winking, and Kyungsoo throws a pillow at him in disgust.
“I hate you so much right now,” Kyungsoo moans, getting up and pulling on what he hopes is a clean shirt. There’s no way he’s going to be able to hang around here with Chanyeol being so annoyingly happy.
“He said he’d teach me how to play basketball!” Chanyeol shouts just before Kyungsoo slams the door shut behind him. How is it fair that Chanyeol gets to have a more perfect life than Kyungsoo does? Chanyeol and his stupid frizzy hair and his stupid quest for an alternate dimension and his stupidly perfect new boyfriend. Kyungsoo grumbles to himself all the way to the coffee shop, and Luhan only makes it worse, waggling his eyebrows suggestively at Kyungsoo as he makes his drink, writing “El ConKISStador” on his cup instead of Kyungsoo’s name. If this were a normal day, Kyungsoo would be strongly considering chucking his coffee at Luhan’s head, but as it is he really needs it to restore his brain to within normal functioning parameters.
It doesn’t help that he sees Jongin’s usual entourage approach the doorway, only to have Jongin turn around the instant he walks through the door and walk back out. Sehun glances around the shop, trying to find the source of Jongin’s apparent distress, and his eyes narrow when he spies Kyungsoo sitting at a table near the back. Kyungsoo is in the process of grabbing his books and trying to beat a hasty retreat when he feels Sehun’s hand on his arm.
“You and I need to have a talk,” Sehun says, in the most serious voice Kyungsoo’s ever heard him use, and Kyungsoo swallows hard before slowly sitting back down.
“What-what about?” he asks with a nervous laugh. Has Jongin been talking to Sehun about last night, laughing about how he managed to fool that idiot Kyungsoo into kissing him and thinking he might actually have feelings for him, before ripping Kyungsoo’s heart out of his chest and stomping all over it on his way out the door?
“What are you even talking about?” Sehun asks and Kyungsoo swears angrily. Why does he not realize he’s saying these things out loud? “I thought you were the one who rejected Jongin!”
“What? No! Are you kidding?” Kyungsoo says, and he can’t quite bring himself to care that people at nearby tables are turning to look at him. “I was really pleased to have found myself in some lovely alternate universe where someone like Jongin can actually fall for someone like me who isn’t particularly attractive or smart or funny-”
Kyungsoo stops at the strange look of mixed confusion and derision on Sehun’s face. Sehun really does have a very expressive face.
“What?” Kyungsoo asks defensively.
“You’ve been spending too much time with Chanyeol,” is all Sehun says, and before Kyungsoo can mutter something along the lines of, “Yeah, eight years too long,” Sehun’s talking again.
“Okay, I have no idea what actually happened-all I know is that ever since last night Jongin has been walking around looking like someone tried to drown his puppy or something. And my sources tell me that the last thing he did last night before falling into a pit of despair and self-loathing was run out of a room that you two had been seen entering alone. Well?”
“Well, how do you know it was self-loathing and not Kyungsoo-loathing?” Kyungsoo asks miserably. “Because that would fit better with actual events…”
“I’ve known Jongin since high school, believe me, I know when he hates someone and he definitely does not hate you,” Sehun snorts, and Kyungsoo feels a strange bubble of hope rise in his chest. “But why? Did you give him a reason to hate you?”
“No!” Kyungsoo yells in exasperation. “We just-we were kissing and it was great and wonderful and there were fucking butterflies and rainbows all over the place and then all of a sudden he got up and stormed out!”
People are definitely looking at them now, and Kyungsoo has just enough presence of mind to grab Sehun’s arm and pull him out the door. Ignoring Sehun’s yelps of what Kyungsoo’s pretty sure are exaggerated pain, he drags him over to an alcove around the back of the building, shoving Sehun up against the wall in what he hopes is a threatening manner.
“So do you want to explain what I could have possibly done wrong, O Master of the Ways of Kim Jongin?” Kyungsoo spits, ignoring Sehun’s mildly annoyed expression.
“Maybe you’re just a terrible kisser,” Sehun says sarcastically. But at the sight of Kyungsoo melting into a little puddle of anxiety and confusion, looking up at him with desperate eyes, Sehun relents a little.
“Okay, so here’s the thing you need to know about Jongin,” Sehun says with a sigh. “He’s terrified of his feelings. Like, deathly terrified. Like, if Jongin’s mind were a city, his feelings would be Public Enemy Number 1.”
“Strangely enough, I actually kind of get that analogy,” Kyungsoo says, but Sehun shushes him with a finger over his lips.
“Which is what I think happened last night. I mean, it happens to Jongin with dance all the time-”
“What? He storms out after crushing its heart beneath his perfect feet?”
“Um…not quite,” Sehun says, giving Kyungsoo a look. “But he does pull the whole, ‘I can’t do this anymore!’ thing, stops going to practice for like a week, and then he realizes that it’s okay for him to love dance, because dance is just such an important part of his life, even if he doesn’t pursue it as a career.”
“Okay, you’re kind of losing me this time, I have to say,” Kyungsoo says, “Does this mean Jongin will kiss me but never actually date me or something?”
“No!” Sehun says, waving a hand as if to dispel Kyungsoo’s numerous doubts. “After all, he and dance are in a very serious relationship so that bodes well for you…”
“Okay, but what if I don’t want Jongin to be dating both dance and me,” Kyungsoo whines before realizing how strange that sounds, especially considering the fact that he’s barely managed to get through a whole conversation with Jongin yet, much less date him. Kyungsoo feels a bit woozy.
And, of course, that’s when he hears a voice from behind him.
“Kyungsoo? Sehun? What are you guys doing?”
And as Jongin looks at them with confused eyes Kyungsoo realizes that the position they’re currently in-Sehun backed up against the wall of an out-of-the-way alcove, Kyungsoo’s hand holding onto a fistful of his shirt to keep him from running away, and Kyungsoo’s blush at Jongin’s sudden appearance spreading like wildfire across his cheeks-is not the most innocent one in the world.
“Nothing!” they shout nearly simultaneously, Kyungsoo dropping Sehun’s shirt like it’s on fire and Sehun shoving Kyungsoo out of the way so he can step out into the open air.
But this does nothing to appease Jongin, who quickly turns around and starts walking in the opposite direction, the look of hurt on his face burning in Kyungsoo’s chest just the way it had last night. He looks at Sehun desperately, as if asking for advice.
“Wow, you are a terrible knight in shining armor,” Sehun says, rolling his eyes. “Go after him! Profess your love! Make him confront his feelings!”
“But what if those feelings don’t involve me,” Kyungsoo hisses, watching Jongin’s rapidly retreating back.
“Oh, believe me, as his roommate I’m telling you they definitely do,” Sehun says, shuddering slightly at the memory. Kyungsoo gives him a confused look. “Go! He’s getting away!”
So Kyungsoo goes, running across the grass until he can grab Jongin’s arm and pull him around.
“Jongin,” he gasps, “I can-let me explain-”
“You don’t have to,” Jongin says kindly, but his eyes are wide and glassy when Kyungsoo finally works up the courage to look into them. “I get it, it’s totally fine. After all, I rejected you, there’s no reason you shouldn’t be with Sehun, although I didn’t know Sehun was into boys…”
“Yeah, neither did I,” Kyungsoo says, but the memory of the gleam in Sehun’s eyes when Luhan had grabbed his hand to pull him down next to him on the couch makes Kyungsoo think that maybe he did. “But that’s not what happened! I came to Sehun to ask him about you.”
“Me?” Jongin asks, and the surprise in his voice makes Kyungsoo want to shake his head. Honestly, it figures he would fall in love with the one boy in the entire school more oblivious than Kyungsoo himself.
“Yes, you,” Kyungsoo says, and he likes the way Jongin smiles when he says that, likes the way Jongin’s hair shines in the sunlight. “Because I really, really like you.”
“I really, really like you too,” Jongin says, and right now Kyungsoo doesn’t really mind the melty feeling in his chest.
And this time it’s Jongin who closes the distance between them, pressing his lips hard against Kyungsoo’s, as if to make up for being the one to pull away before. And Kyungsoo does not mind at all, swallowing each of Jongin’s small sighs, and thinks that he doesn’t need functioning organs anyway if Jongin will just keep kissing him like this, just keep holding him like this, forever.
*
“Sure you aren’t,” Kyungsoo says sarcastically, to which Chanyeol replies with such a loud burst of indignation that Kyungsoo has to hold the phone away from his ear to keep his eardrums from being permanently injured.
“Okay, okay, maybe you’re not completely hopeless at basketball,” Kyungsoo says when Chanyeol’s quieted down. “But I’ll believe it when I see it. Anyway, have fun on your Super Romantic Date this evening. I have to say, this Wu Fan guy really knows how to pull all the stops.”
“Yeah,” Chanyeol says, and Kyungsoo can hear him blushing over the phone and it’s absolutely revolting. “This morning he left a rose by our door right before I left for class and it had a clue in it and I’ve been following them around campus all day. I think the last one is going to tell me where our date is going to be!”
“Disgusting,” Kyungsoo says, but he’s smiling and he knows Chanyeol can tell.
“Yeah, yeah, and like you and Jongin aren’t the most ridiculously adorable couple ever,” Chanyeol says with a snort that Kyungsoo should probably remind him never to do around Wu Fan. “Okay, I gotta go. Next stop, the physics lab! See ya, Kyungsoo!”
“Bye,” Kyungsoo says, just as he hears a knock on the door. Dropping his phone on the bedside table, he rushes over and opens it to reveal a smiling Jongin, still smelling of vinyl floor mats and sunshine.
“Hey,” Jongin says, and he looks like he might want to say more but Kyungsoo’s already pulling him into the room and crushing their mouths together. Jongin manages to walk them backwards until Kyungsoo’s legs hit the bed, and then Jongin’s spinning them around so Kyungsoo’s straddling his lap, hands on the back of Jongin’s neck, feet barely touching the floor.
“We’re almost ready for our next show,” Jongin says between kisses, and Kyungsoo nods to show that he would respond if it weren’t for the fact that his lips are so very busy. “Are you going to come watch us?”
At this, Kyungsoo pulls back, giving Jongin an incredulous look.
“You’re kidding right?” he asks, and Jongin shifts uncomfortably underneath him. “I’ve been going to your recitals this entire year, before you even knew my name, what makes you think I’m going to stop going now that I know you actually want to put your tongue in my mouth?”
Jongin winces and Kyungsoo blushes a deep red.
“Not quite what I meant,” he squeaks, but Jongin is laughing and reaching forward to claim his mouth again.
“Well, I think you’ll like it,” Jongin breathes against Kyungsoo’s lips, making him shiver. “I have a lot of parts that are very…sexy.”
And then Jongin’s pressing his hand very gently against the quickly growing bulge in Kyungsoo’s pants and Kyungsoo writhes, trying to simultaneously get closer and pull away from the unfamiliar feeling. It’s not that he’s never had anyone touch him…like that. But his experience has admittedly been limited to one handjob in high school from a pretty girl in his class, an incident that Chanyeol continues to refer to as The Handjob That Made Kyungsoo Realize Just How Gay He Was.
“Is this…okay?” Jongin asks, pressing soft kisses against Kyungsoo’s neck and all Kyungsoo can do is moan and lift his hips to press harder against Jongin’s palm. And then Jongin’s unbuttoning Kyungsoo’s pants, sliding them down his legs, and lifting himself off the bed a little so his own jeans hit the floor. And then Jongin’s rolling them back over so Kyungsoo’s lying on his back, staring up into his deep, dark eyes, and when Jongin rolls his hips downward-a move Kyungsoo’s seen him do so many times onstage-Kyungsoo groans so loudly he can’t stop himself from slapping a hand over his mouth in embarrassment. But Jongin doesn’t seem to mind, pushing up Kyungsoo’s shirt and pressing kisses against his neck, his stomach, before moving down and flicking his tongue against the skin of Kyungsoo’s thighs.
“Jongin-” Kyungsoo gasps, his breath catching in his throat as Jongin slips a hand into his underwear and wraps it around Kyungsoo’s throbbing cock. “Jongin, please-”
“Please what?” Jongin asks slyly, and Kyungsoo would kick him if he weren’t otherwise occupied, and then Jongin’s pulling Kyungsoo’s underwear down his legs and Kyungsoo’s reaching up to yank at Jongin’s boxers, and Kyungsoo hisses to see that Jongin’s already so hard, cock leaking precome all over the sheets.
“Someone’s impatient, aren’t they?” Kyungsoo grins but any other thoughts he might have had are lost as Jongin takes him into his mouth, full lips stretched around Kyungsoo’s cock in a way that make Kyungsoo feel like he’s burning up.
“Jongin-” he breathes, twisting back and forth as Jongin runs his tongue along the underside of Kyungsoo’s shaft in an absolutely maddening way. “Jongin, I want-Jongin, I want you to-”
“Want me to what?” Jongin asks, sliding Kyungsoo out of his mouth and blowing on the wet skin, making Kyungsoo hiss and buck his hips upwards, trying to regain some of that heat and friction. And Kyungsoo’s never done this before with anyone, but with Jongin he wants to, has been wanting to ever since their first date, when Jongin shoved him up against the sink in the bathroom of the movie theater and Kyungsoo had almost come just from the gleam of want in Jongin’s eyes.
“I want you to fuck me,” he manages to sputter, reveling in the feel of Jongin’s long, lithe fingers stroking up and down his cock, and it’s taking all his willpower not to come right now.
Jongin pulls away a little, sitting back on his heels as he gazes at Kyungsoo lying on the damp sheets, completely wrecked, shivering at the loss of Jongin’s body heat.
“You’re sure-” Jongin asks, but before he can even finish, Kyungsoo’s reaching over to his desk and yanking out the top drawer. Jongin gets the picture, and Kyungsoo hopes that Chanyeol never finds out that he took his advice to heart, but every thought is whisked out of his head as Jongin’s slick finger finds its way to his hole, circling the tight, wrinkled skin.
“F-fuck, Jongin,” Kyungsoo says, gasping as the first finger slips inside, followed quickly by a second.
“You look so beautiful like this,” Jongin groans, watching a flush creep up Kyungsoo’s chest as he pumps two fingers in and out, stretching and pressing until they find his prostate. Dragging a finger against it is enough to make Kyungsoo cry out, repeating Jongin’s name like a prayer, and if Kyungsoo could think at all he’d be thinking how terribly cliché it is to say that but he can’t help it, with Jongin cliché is just fine, it fits.
And then Jongin’s fingers are gone and Kyungsoo whines at the loss, shifting his hips lower on the bed, but suddenly he feels the head of Jongin’s cock pushing against him.
“Fuck, Kyungsoo, you’re so tight,” Jongin hisses as he presses in, and it hurts but Jongin’s voice is soft and soothing in Kyungsoo’s ear and little by little the pain disperses, swept up in a wave of pleasure growing steadily in Kyungsoo’s gut as Jongin pushes all the way inside.
“More, Jongin, please,” Kyungsoo groans, and he can feel tears pricking the corners of his eyes as Jongin pulls all the way out before slamming back in, filling Kyungsoo fuller than he’d ever thought possible.
And then Jongin’s reaching down to stroke Kyungsoo’s erection and it’s all too much and Kyungsoo screams, come spurting all over Jongin’s hand. His walls clench around Jongin’s cock and then Jongin is coming too, more quietly, gasping as he continues to push in and out, milking the last of Kyungsoo’s orgasm.
Jongin collapses bonelessly on the bed next to Kyungsoo, wrapping his arms around him so Kyungsoo’s head is pressed under his chin, and Kyungsoo sighs contentedly at the warmth of Jongin’s chest.
“Well, that was fucking amazing,” Jongin breathes and Kyungsoo definitely agrees, but right now, flushed and satisfied, he can’t quite work up the strength to reply.
They’ve only been lying there for a few minutes when the door behind them suddenly opens, causing both Kyungsoo and Jongin to start wildly.
“Oh. Are you. I’m just going to. Um.” Junmyeon stutters before jumping backwards, slamming the door shut behind him.
Kyungsoo and Jongin look at each other, and then burst out laughing.
“I thought Chanyeol was your roommate?” Jongin gasps between giggles, and Kyungsoo smiles so widely it makes his cheeks hurt.
“Yeah, he is-that was Junmyeon, he lives right next door. Not the picture of subtlety, I have to say,” he laughs, reaching over to pull Jongin even closer to him, and this feels right in a way nothing else in Kyungsoo’s life ever has. “You’d think he’d be able to figure out what the door to his room looks like after six months.”
“You’d think,” Jongin mutters, pressing his lips against the base of Kyungsoo’s neck, and Kyungsoo is so happy he thinks his heart might burst.
Later, Jongin sends him a cryptic text message telling him to go up to the roof. Wary of anything involving heights, Kyungsoo peeks out the door leading outside only to see a dark shape that he assumes is Jongin gesturing to him. Satisfied that this isn’t some kind of ambush, Kyungsoo steps out onto the roof, and sees that Jongin’s brought a lantern of some kind with him, illuminating a small circle of concrete. Overhead, the stars are bright and Kyungsoo can feel a warm breeze pressing against his skin.
“There’s something I want to show you,” Jongin says, sitting Kyungsoo down in a small folding chair right at the edge of the circle of light. Kyungsoo complies, not sure what Jongin plans to show him here on the roof, in the dark, that he couldn’t show him down in the warmth of their room.
But then Jongin steps into the center of the circle of light, and starts to dance.
It’s a routine Kyungsoo hasn’t seen before-full of graceful spins and sweeping movements-and it’s such a perfect representation of Jongin, so carefully out of control, that Kyungsoo can feel his eyes getting a bit damp and he’s glad Jongin can’t see his face in the darkness.
When it’s over, Jongin gives a deep bow and Kyungsoo claps so hard his hands sting.
“What did you think?” Jongin pants, sitting down in Kyungsoo’s lap and wrapping his arms around Kyungsoo’s neck.
“I loved it,” Kyungsoo says, pressing his face into Jongin’s shirt so that Jongin can’t see that his eyes are a little too glassy.
“Good,” Jongin says, pulling gently on Kyungsoo’s chin so he can press soft kisses against his forehead, his nose, his mouth. “Because you were the inspiration behind it.”
“Really?” Kyungsoo asks, fighting the urge to pinch himself and make sure that’s he’s really here, that he’s really dating Kim Jongin, that he’s really made Jongin want to dance.
“I actually started choreographing it the day you and Sehun caught me after the performance,” Jongin admits, and even in the dim light Kyungsoo can see him blush.
“I’ve wanted to write about you since the minute I first saw you,” Kyungsoo says, looking up at the stars twinkling like tiny fireworks against the summer sky.
“So do it,” Jongin says, leaning over to kiss Kyungsoo again, and Kyungsoo thinks he just might.
Pairing: Kai/Kyungsoo (side Kris/Chanyeol)
Rating: NC-17
Genre: fluff, college au
Length: 9,800
Summary: Kyungsoo is kind of, sort of, slightly, probably, mostly, head over heels in love.
Variations on a Love Song
“I can’t believe this,” Chanyeol groans, throwing himself down into the chair across from Kyungsoo. Some kid sitting at a nearby table shoots him a poisonous glare but Chanyeol gives him the finger and continues moaning loudly.
“Okay, you do realize this is a library,” Kyungsoo hisses, looking around to see if there are any librarians lurking amongst the shelves. “You couldn’t have texted me and asked me to meet you somewhere you’re actually allowed to be loud and annoying?”
“No time,” Chanyeol says, his voice muffled by his sleeve as he buries his head in his arms. “My life is over, I tell you! Over!”
“Okay, okay, tell me about it when we get outside, I’m getting us out of here before I get banned for life,” Kyungsoo whispers, grabbing his stack of books and Chanyeol’s wrist before dragging him up and out of his chair. Chanyeol, of course, doesn’t wait until they’re outside before continuing his rant, which earns them a lot of glares as they thump down four flights of stairs and out into the open air.
“I didn’t mean to do it, it just sort of happened and now he’ll never speak to me again and what am I going to do? This is not how I wanted this to go!”
“Okay, I’m only going to ask you one more time what the hell you’re talking about,” Kyungsoo says, taking large gulps of the crisp autumn air.
“Wu Fan, obviously!” Chanyeol wails as Kyungsoo pushes him down into a chair outside the campus coffee shop. Luckily, it’s a quiet day so they’re the only ones using the outdoor tables, otherwise Kyungsoo can imagine they’d be receiving many more annoyed glances from fellow patrons, especially when Chanyeol gestures wildly with his hands and knocks over a nearby chair.
“The basketball kid?” Kyungsoo asks with a sigh, getting up to right the chair, and Chanyeol huffs in annoyance, crossing his arms over his chest.
“He’s not the basketball kid,” he says self-righteously. “He’s Wu Fan, and he’s tall and dark and handsome and smart and nice and basically everything I’ve ever wanted in my entire life. Except for the lack of a sense of humor but I plan on working with him on that.”
“So…what’s the problem?” Kyungsoo asks, shoving some of the books he’d dumped onto the table back into his backpack. “Is he straight or something?”
“I don’t know,” Chanyeol sighs, leaning back in his chair and stretching out his long legs so they knock against Kyungsoo’s shins in a rather painful way. “And now I will never know. Because he will never talk to me again.”
“Well, what did you do?” Kyungsoo asks in a long-suffering manner. He’s had to listen to Chanyeol wax poetic about the many admirable qualities of Wu Fan aka Kris aka Basketball God aka Park Chanyeol’s Potential Soulmate for the past year and a half, and he’s actually kind of impressed that Chanyeol finally worked up the courage to talk to him, even if he ended up making a complete and total fool of himself. Chanyeol seems to have a habit of doing that.
“Well, I was sitting with Baekhyun and Tao in the dining hall when all of a sudden he came over to talk to Tao about a project because apparently they’re in some architecture design class together, and I made a really lame joke but he actually smiled and so I got all excited and then. And then…” Chanyeol trails off in favor of fixing Kyungsoo with his best sad-puppy-dog stare.
“Okay, as riveting as this story is, I actually have somewhere to be in a few minutes so make it fast or you’ll have to wait for class tomorrow to tell me.”
“Wait, where do you have to go?” Chanyeol says suspiciously, giving Kyungsoo an odd look. Not that Kyungsoo can blame him-he’s not exactly the most social person, and with a major in chemical engineering it’s not like he has much time for extracurriculars. The most recreational thing Kyungsoo probably does is staying up until 2am trying to type out whatever stories and thoughts are swirling around in his head before they disappear. Oh, and playing video games but he tries not to bring that up in public.
“I have a thing,” he says vaguely, waving a hand, and Chanyeol narrows his eyes to ridiculously tiny slits and he probably think he looks accusatory but he actually just looks like an idiot.
“I’m leaving,” Kyungsoo says, pretending to grab his bag, scooting backwards just as Chanyeol lunges for him, shoving him back down into his seat.
“Okay, okay! I’ll tell you!” Chanyeol says as Kyungsoo rubs his shoulders and winces. “But you have to promise to give me good advice, okay?”
“Just tell me what the problem is,” Kyungsoo says loudly, emphasizing each word.
“I kind of…askedhimtoplaybasketballwithmesometime?” Chanyeol says quickly, slurring his words together in the way he usually does when he’s embarrassed.
“You did what?” Kyungsoo gasps, trying not to burst out laughing. He fails spectacularly.
“Hey! You promised to help,” Chanyeol says with a pout. “Laughing at me is not exactly helping.”
“It’s just-you asked-Chanyeol!” Kyungsoo snickers. “You don’t even know how to play basketball!”
“I do too,” Chanyeol sniffs. “I played on my school team in fifth grade.”
“Okay, correction, my apologies,” Kyungsoo says with a wry smile, “You barely know how to play basketball, and you offered to play with a guy who’s practically NBA material? Why would you do that?”
“I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know! I just really wanted him to like me,” Chanyeol moans, leaning forward and grabbing Kyungsoo’s cheeks so he’s looking him right in the eyes. “You have to help me.”
“Let go of me,” Kyungsoo grunts, pulling his face out of Chanyeol’s grasp. “I don’t see what you expect me to do. I’m even less athletically inclined than you are. Go find Baekhyun or something and ask him.”
“Baekhyun knows the score of every NBA game played in the past ten years but that doesn’t mean he can teach me how to play basketball in a week,” Chanyeol says doubtfully.
“Well, it seems like that’s the only option you have at this point,” Kyungsoo says, standing and slinging his backpack over his shoulders. “But now I really do have to go so you’ll have to find someone else to complain to.”
“I can’t believe you’re doing this to me,” Chanyeol yells as he walks away across the quad. “Some friend you are!”
“The best!” Kyungsoo shouts back over his shoulder, before turning a corner and slipping behind a building. After checking to make sure he’s out of Chanyeol’s line of sight, he starts heading in the opposite direction, walking around the backsides of buildings to make sure no one sees him. It’s not that he’s embarrassed about what he’s doing. Lots of people enjoy going to dance performances. It’s just that he doesn’t want to have to explain his sudden fascination with their school’s dance department to any of his friends. Because there’s a fairly simple explanation for it that he never wants to get into, and its name is Kim Jongin.
*
Kyungsoo’s not sure exactly when he first saw Jongin-it might have been just a chance locking of eyes across a crowded coffee shop or lecture hall. But soon enough, he started noticing Jongin everywhere-his creative writing class, the dining hall, the library. And it hadn’t taken much sleuthing for Kyungsoo to learn that Jongin spent most of his time in the school’s dance studio, practicing and choreographing. Jongin is a dancer.
Kyungsoo’s never been one to let himself fall for nothing but a pretty face, but with Jongin it’s different. Jongin is striking in a way that makes Kyungsoo’s throat close up just thinking about him, but Kyungsoo also knows there are depths to him that he never lets other people see. They come out a little in his writing, and a lot in his dancing. Which is why Kyungsoo tries to make it to every performance Jongin’s in, even if he has to sit through hours of performances by college students who wanted to “try something new” before Jongin comes out with his group of experienced dancers-Yixing, Taeyeon, Minseok, Hyukjae, Amber-names Kyungsoo’s learned as much from recital programs as from dorm gossip. They’re all ridiculously beautiful and talented but, at least to Kyungsoo, Jongin’s dancing has this whole other dimension the rest of them lack. When he’s onstage performing, he’s all subtle winks and suave confidence that has the audience swooning. But as soon as the curtains close, he disappears rather than staying around to chat with friends or fellow performers the way the others do. Kyungsoo wonders where he goes.
By the time Kyungsoo makes it to the theater they’ve already started to dim the lights, and he curses softly under his breath as he scans the rows of occupied seats, looking for an empty spot. That’s when he hears an unfamiliar voice whispering his name, and turns to see a boy with bleached-blond hair motioning to him from a few rows away. The boy looks vaguely familiar but Kyungsoo definitely doesn’t remember ever being introduced. He decides to slide into the seat next to him anyway, because what could possibly happen?
“Oh Sehun,” the boy says quietly, reaching out a hand that Kyungsoo gratefully grasps, relieved that the boy-Sehun-didn’t expect him to know his name. “I think we’re in the same math class?”
“Oh!” Kyungsoo says, suddenly remembering. “You’re the kid who finds all the teacher’s mistakes on the tests and gets us extra points.”
“I guess,” Sehun says with a lopsided grin that Kyungsoo can just make out in the darkened theater. “And you’re the kid who falls asleep in every lecture and still manages to ace the exams.”
“It’s not my fault the lecture is at an ungodly 8:30am!” Kyungsoo sniffs, but he relaxes when he sees Sehun is smiling. “But wow, a freshman in vector calculus, pretty impressive.”
“Ah, it’s nothing,” Sehun mutters, turning his eyes to the stage, where the curtain is just beginning to slide open. “Are you here to see anyone in particular?”
“What? Me? No! No, no,” Kyungsoo says, a little louder than he means to, earning him some harsh shushes from the people sitting around him as some very strangely dressed students on stage start in on what appears to be a breakdance take on the theme from Swan Lake.
“You?” Kyungsoo asks, recovering himself enough to whisper. Sehun gives him a strange look but doesn’t press the matter.
“Yeah, I’m here to see Jongin-do you know him? He’s my roommate. Everyone tells me he’s an amazing dancer so I figured I’d go see him for once.”
“Oh,” Kyungsoo says softly, hands clasped limply in his lap. Because of course he would end up sitting next to the one kid in the room with a personal connection to Kim Jongin.
The first three dances are over blessedly quickly, especially considering their-in Kyungsoo’s opinion-incredibly poor presentation. Then there’s a salsa showcase that Kyungsoo actually really enjoys. And then it’s Jongin’s turn.
The group of ten or so dancers struts onto the stage to the strains of a pop song Kyungsoo actually knows, music beating almost as loudly in his ears as his heart is beating in his chest.
The dance is incredible, every dancer poised, quick, and professional, and Kyungsoo watches Jongin with amazement. Though he prefers when Jongin dances ballet-quiet restraint to match the music barely masking Jongin’s blazing joy at being in motion-this type of dancing is where he really shines.
Jongin flows so easily with the music, pushed along by the beat in a way that looks completely effortless, and Kyungsoo is entranced, eyes still following Jongin when the final notes sound and the crowd goes wild, Sehun jumping to his feet along with the rest of the audience to give a standing ovation.
As the lights go on and dancers spill off the stage, mingling with friends and relatives and instructors, Sehun grabs Kyungsoo’s sleeve and says, “Come on, I bet we can catch Jongin if we hurry-he usually sneaks out the back so he doesn’t have to fight his way through the crowd.”
And this is not what Kyungsoo wanted at all, he is definitely not prepared for this, but he doesn’t fight back as Sehun drags him up the aisle, pushing aside chattering students until they make it out the double doors and into the cold night air.
“Hey! Jongin!” Sehun yells, waving at a dark shape slinking past a sputtering streetlamp, and Kyungsoo feels something heavy shift in his stomach as the light illuminates Jongin’s glittering eyes and warm smile.
“You came!” he says happily, moving forward as if to give Sehun a hug, but he stops short when he sees Kyungsoo standing awkwardly behind Sehun’s shoulder.
“Oh, this is Kyungsoo,” Sehun quickly explains, slapping Jongin on the back in what Kyungsoo supposes he thinks is a manly way. “We’re in the same math class, and we met up in the theater.”
“I-I think we’re in the same writing class?” Kyungsoo manages to sputter, running a hand through his hair in a vain attempt to flatten it down a little. Did he even brush it this morning? He can’t remember. Oh, god, this is not how he wanted this evening to go.
“Right, right,” Jongin says with another easy smile that threatens to melt all of Kyungsoo’s internal organs in a very distressing way. “You wrote that amazing story about the guardian angel. You’re like a literary genius.”
“No! No, not at all,” Kyungsoo laughs a bit too loudly. “I mean, I think your work is much better, it’s just so real and vibrant I feel like I’m right there in the action, you know, and I-”
“Well, are we gonna go out and celebrate another successful night of Kim Jongin breaking hearts and taking names or what?” Sehun crows, cutting off Kyungsoo’s babbling as he grabs Jongin’s arm and starts to pull him off in the direction of the freshman dormitory.
“I’ll see you around, Kyungsoo,” Jongin shouts with a wave before he turns and shoves Sehun off of him, the two of them playfully pushing each other off the path as they disappear into the darkness.
“Bye,” Kyungsoo says weakly into the night.
*
“Okay, you have to tell me what’s wrong with you,” Chanyeol says through a mouthful of rice. Kyungsoo considers telling him how disgusting it is when he talks with food in his mouth but decides against it in case he needs to use it as leverage someday.
“Nothing’s wrong,” Kyungsoo says, using a chopstick to shove a morsel of fish around and around the edge of his plate.
“Are you kidding?” Chanyeol laughs, spraying half-chewed bits of rice across the table and narrowly missing Kyungsoo’s hand. “You’ve barely said a word in two days and now you’re not even eating. Are you dying or something?”
“No, I’m not dying, you idiot,” Kyungsoo mumbles, shoving his plate away with a sigh.
“Wait,” Chanyeol says, piece of pork halfway to his mouth. “Are you a spy? Are you upset because you’ve just received your next mission and you know you might never be able to see any of us ever again and all you want is to live a normal life but now you’re trapped in the game and can never escape?”
“If I were, you’re making it more and more likely with every word that I will not be sad never to see your face again.”
“Then what?” Chanyeol asks, kicking Kyungsoo in the shin under the table. Kyungsoo tries to retaliate but Chanyeol manages to move his legs out of the way in time, snickering.
“It’s…about Jongin,” Kyungsoo finally says, and he can see the gears turning in Chanyeol’s head and he’s seriously reconsidering a few of his life decisions right now.
“The dancer, Jongin?” Chanyeol asks, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. “Ooh, Kyungsoo, I would never have pegged him for your type! So you like them a little dark and moody, huh?”
“Shut up,” Kyungsoo groans, wondering why he ever tells Chanyeol anything.
“This is fantastic!” Chanyeol crows. “I’ve been stuck on the Magnificent Wu Fan since freshman year and in all that time I don’t think you’ve had a crush on a single person. Baekhyun and I were beginning to get worried that you would spend the rest of your life alone and turn into one of those crotchety old men who yell at small children for running across their lawns.”
“You’re not allowed to tell anyone! Understand?” Kyungsoo says desperately, eyes darting around the dining hall as if expecting Baekhyun or Luhan to suddenly pop out of nowhere. It wouldn’t be the first time.
“Sure, sure,” Chanyeol says, but Kyungsoo can tell he’s not really listening. “Have you talked to him yet? Ask him out for coffee, I bet dancers like coffee. Although he’ll probably say no, I mean he’s got basically the entire female population of the freshman class after him, as well as some of the more attractive males…”
Kyungsoo simply buries his head in his hands and hopes he’ll be able to forget all about Jongin.
*
Strangely enough, the next time they meet is in a coffee shop, but it’s not due to any smooth talking on Kyungsoo’s part. He’s just there doing homework with Chanyeol or, more accurately, watching Chanyeol as he finishes his own homework and Kyungsoo’s as well. It’s not that Kyungsoo doesn’t work hard-he probably spends more hours in the library than anyone he knows. But when it comes to boring math assignments, why deny Chanyeol the pleasure of being able to criticize his pathetic abilities while simultaneously not having to do any of the pointless busywork? So Kyungsoo’s feeling very relaxed, peacefully sipping his coffee and gazing out the window, when Chanyeol suddenly sits up.
“Jongin! Sehun! Hey! Over here!”
Kyungsoo jerks upright so quickly his coffee sloshes over into his lap and he hisses in pain, grabbing a handful of napkins and trying to soak up the burning liquid.
“Hey Chanyeol,” Sehun says with a grin, “And how goes the quest to find the equation for an alternate dimension?”
“It’s going, it’s going,” Chanyeol says with a wave of the hand. “And when I find it you’ll all be sorry you doubted me. Oh, look! I think they’re calling your names, Sehun you wanna come grab those with me?”
And before Kyungsoo can protest or flee or throw up or do any of the things he really, really wants to do, he’s left alone with Jongin.
“So…how goes the short story?” Kyungsoo asks, inwardly berating himself for not coming up with more exciting topics to talk about than schoolwork.
“Fine, you know,” Jongin says good-naturedly, pulling up a chair from a nearby table and sitting down across from Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo tries studiously to ignore the way the sunshine makes his eyes look clear and deep and warm. “It’s been hard to find time to write recently, what with the dance showcase and all. Now that that’s over, I’m sure I’ll have more time.”
“Yeah, yeah, that makes sense,” Kyungsoo says and Jongin must think he’s a complete idiot, Kyungsoo really doesn’t understand why he’s still sitting here and he especially doesn’t understand why it’s taking Chanyeol so long to grab a few coffees. Is he hand-grinding the beans or something?
Jongin laughs brightly and Kyungsoo feels a strange swoop of happiness in his stomach at the same time a blush of embarrassment spreads across his cheeks as he realizes he said that last part out loud.
“So, what are you working on?” Jongin asks, picking up one of the papers sprawled across the table. “Looks complicated.”
“Oh, it’s just math. Multi-variable calculus. You know.”
“Well, I’ve only done single variable stuff but I definitely don’t remember calculus having this many Greek letters,” Jongin says thoughtfully, thin fingers flicking deftly through the pages of a notebook.
“Oh, that’s probably Chanyeol’s then,” Kyungsoo says quickly. “He’s a theoretical physics major so he’s doing all sorts of crazy math.”
“Are you a physicist too?” Jongin asks, shooting Kyungsoo a glance from under his dark lashes that maybe makes Kyungsoo’s heart skip a beat.
“No, no,” he laughs, only a tiny bit hysterically. “I’m an engineer. That’s why I’m not using all those fancy variables.”
“Wow, engineering,” Jongin mutters, and Kyungsoo isn’t quite sure whether he’s being sarcastic or not. “I could never do that. I like books too much.”
“I like them too, which is why I’m taking that creative writing class,” Kyungsoo says, smiling. “And Chanyeol says that engineering is for plebeians but I like it. It makes me feel like I can do something to save the world, you know?”
“Yeah, I know what you mean,” Jongin says with a small smile and this time Kyungsoo’s heart definitely trips over itself. “That’s why I want to go to med school someday. But for now I’m just an English major and this math is way too scary for me.”
“Oh, I thought you were majoring in dance or something?” Kyungsoo asks, immediately regretting how stupid he sounds.
“I would be if I could have my way,” Jongin laughs. “But my parents said that if they were going to pay for med school I had to get a degree in something that could still be moderately useful in case I flunk out.”
“I’m sure you won’t flunk out!” Kyungsoo says, trying to hold back a furious blush. He’s going to kill Chanyeol.
“Well, you should come to watch us practice some time, if you want,” Jongin says hesitantly as Chanyeol and Sehun finally return, the former grinning in a way that reminds Kyungsoo of a demented clown and the latter nearly spilling hot coffee all over his fingers as he tries to sweep Kyungsoo’s piles of paper onto the floor to make room for the cups.
“Yeah, I’d like that,” Kyungsoo says faintly, ignoring the way Chanyeol’s eyes are burning holes in the side of his head.
“Every Tuesday and Thursday at 7pm,” Jongin says, standing and gathering his belongings. “See you guys.”
“Wow,” Chanyeol says, watching Jongin’s retreating figure. “When I left you two alone, I didn’t think you’d be able to scare him off that quickly. You really are going to die alone.”
“Chanyeol!” Kyungsoo hisses, but Sehun is already laughing.
“Don’t worry,” he says to Kyungsoo with a wide grin almost on par with Chanyeol’s for the look of idiocy it imparts on him. “You’re not exactly subtle, you know. I’m pretty sure the only person who has no idea is Jongin, and that’s because he’s pretty oblivious.”
“I hate everything,” Kyungsoo grumbles, but inside he’s glowing.
*
And Kyungsoo decides that this is really when Jongin looks best-when he’s alone on the floor, everyone else taking a break to drink water and chat, music blaring tinnily from a cheap pair of speakers, and Kyungsoo can get caught up in the motion of his body, the stretch of his muscles. Seeing Jongin like this makes Kyungsoo want to write, want to try to capture in words the way his sweat-slicked skin glimmers under the harsh studio lights and the way his dancing seems like an extension of the music rather than a companion to it.
“That was amazing,” he says when Jongin approaches him after practice, and Chanyeol-who Kyungsoo only brought for moral support, a decision he is quickly regretting-snorts loudly.
“Thanks,” Jongin says tiredly, wiping sweat from his forehead with a towel. “But we’ve still got a long way to go.”
“Well, I think it looks great,” Kyungsoo says, more confidently this time, and Jongin gives him that small smile Kyungsoo loves.
“Bye, Jongin,” the girl who Kyungsoo thinks is named Amber calls over her shoulder as she grabs her bag and water bottle. Her short hair falls prettily into her bright eyes, and Jongin smiles widely at her as she leaves, more widely than Kyungsoo’s ever seen him smile, and gives her a tiny wave.
“She’s really cute, right,” Jongin says hesitantly, and to Kyungsoo it sounds almost like a question rather than a statement but that’s probably just his overactive imagination acting up on him, which is why he responds with a rather unfortunately hurried, “Yeah, really hot, yup!”
Jongin gives him a look that Kyungsoo can’t quite decipher before grabbing his bag and heading out the door with a quiet, “See you later.”
The minute he’s gone, Kyungsoo deflates, sagging against the wall like his bones have suddenly turned to jelly. He’s actually not totally sure that they haven’t. He can feel Chanyeol giving him a look, and he sighs dramatically.
“So…that was super smooth, good work on that one,” Chanyeol says, amusement creeping into his voice as he continues in a high, mocking tone, “‘Oh, yes, Jongin, she’s so cute, almost as cute as you are-’”
“Shut up,” Kyungsoo mutters, covering his face with his hands. This is not turning out to be one of his better days. “Or I’ll tell Kris you want to bone him and that you don’t know the first thing about playing basketball.”
“You wouldn’t,” Chanyeol says, but his eyes are wide with worry. “Would you?”
“Just watch me,” Kyungsoo says stoically, standing up and shoving open the door, walking down the hallway trailed by a stream of profuse and increasingly desperate apologies from Chanyeol.
*
“I really think you should just go talk to him instead of sitting here staring at him like a lovesick puppy,” Baekhyun says conversationally as they’re sitting in the library studying.
Kyungsoo starts, tearing his gaze away from the nearby table where Jongin, Yixing, and Minseok are sitting, giggling, obviously not getting much work done.
“I told Chanyeol this was supposed to be a secret,” he groans.
“Yeah, so obviously now everyone knows,” Baekhyun says with an air of impatience. “What did you expect? But I’m serious, your face right now is serious affecting my ability to remember the structure of these organic molecules.”
“Romantic attraction is caused by some of those stupid organic molecules,” Kyungsoo mutters to himself. “Traitors.”
“I swear, if you don’t do something soon, I’m going to do something for you,” Baekhyun warns, shoving Kyungsoo so hard he almost falls out of his chair.
“Hey Kyungsoo! Can I ask you something?” And this time Kyungsoo does fall out of his chair, sparing a moment to kick a snickering Baekhyun as hard as he can before pulling himself up off the floor. He looks over to Jongin, from whom the loudly whispered request had come, and sees that Jongin looks a bit concerned. He quickly stands up, brushing himself off, and studiously ignores Baekhyun’s filthy muttering behind him as he walks over to their table.
“Are you free this weekend?” Jongin asks, and Kyungsoo is very aware of the fact that his only weekend plans were to stay in his room finishing his short story assignment and kicking Chanyeol’s ass at Call of Duty but he is also very aware of the fact that, when it comes to social interactions of any kind, “awkward” is one of the kindest words to describe his behavior.
“We’re having a party,” Yixing continues, and Kyungsoo turns to face him, glad to not have to look at Jongin’s perfect face and Jongin’s perfect fingers and Jongin’s perfect mouth. “And we thought it would be cool if you and your friends showed up.”
“Th-thanks for inviting us,” Kyungsoo manages to stammer, doing everything he can to avoid Jongin’s eyes. “We’ll definitely try to make it.”
“Great,” Jongin says, and his smile hits Kyungsoo right in the stomach like a ton of bricks.
*
“So, I would like to formally lodge a protest against this party,” Chanyeol says as they walk up the pathway leading to Yixing’s apartment, where the party is being held. “What kind of party doesn’t even start until 11pm? If they don’t have real drinks here than my opinion of the object of your affection and his friends is going to decrease dramatically.”
“And I’m sure they’ll all be devastated by that,” Kyungsoo sighs sarcastically, but secretly he also hopes there will be some sort of alcohol present. He doesn’t think he can handle talking to Jongin in such a crowded setting without a little encouragement.
Luckily, Minseok is the one to answer the door, grinning and motioning them towards the living room of the small apartment where there are indeed drinks. Chanyeol winks at Kyungsoo before grabbing a beer and wandering over to talk to Sehun. Kyungsoo takes a swallow of his own beer, grimacing at the taste, and wonders what he’s really doing here. A quick inspection of the room shows that Jongin is nowhere in sight, and Kyungsoo suddenly feels extremely silly. How could he have thought someone like Jongin would want to be friends with someone like him, much less anything more? This has all been a terrible mistake.
He hears the door to the apartment open and whirls around, but it’s just Wu Fan giving Minseok an awkward half-smile in response to his greeting. Kyungsoo takes vicious pleasure in watching Chanyeol start so hard he drops his can of beer and then has to clamor for napkins to wipe up the mess.
In an effort to look busy, Kyungsoo wanders into the kitchen and leans against the counter, staring out the window at the night sky. Just as he’s about to engage in some deep philosophical reverie about what he’s doing with his life and his purpose in the universe, he hears Sehun’s voice behind him.
“I’m sure he’ll show up,” Sehun says consolingly. “But you don’t have to wait in here. Come have fun with us! We’re going to play drunk Mario Kart later, I think.”
And Kyungsoo is not really one for parties or for getting drunk, or for falling in love for that matter. But it’s so dark outside and so warm in the apartment so why not?
“Sure,” he says, smiling, and follows Sehun out into the living room.
Kyungsoo’s not sure how many beers he’s drunk, or even sure how many hours he’s been at the party, before Jongin shows up. Contrary to past experiences, he’s actually having a good time-Jongin and Sehun’s friends turn out to be decent people, Minseok demonstrating a few card tricks that amaze everyone in the room-“a drunk audience is a magician’s best friend,” he whispers conspiratorially to Kyungsoo as he shoves another beer into his hand-and Yixing does an impression of one of the most notoriously uptight professors on campus that has the party exploding in gales of laughter. They do play drunk Mario Kart and Kyungsoo wins, of course, because this is basically what he’s spent his life preparing for.
He almost misses it when Wu Fan puts an arm around a giggling Chanyeol and steers him unsteadily away from the party towards the bathroom, and Kyungsoo really hopes they lock the door because the last thing he wants is for anyone to walk in on them doing…whatever they’re doing.
“Jongin! It’s you!” Sehun slurs suddenly, stumbling over to the door and draping himself over Jongin’s shoulders. It’s obvious Jongin isn’t exactly sober either-his eyes are too bright and he can’t quite mark a straight line across the room as he wanders over to the television, Sehun in tow.
“Oh, hey, Kyungsoo,” he says, and maybe it’s just the alcohol talking but his voice seems deeper than usual, sexier, and it goes straight to Kyungsoo’s cock and oh, god, please let him not get an erection right here in the middle of the party.
“We wondered where you were!” Sehun says, throwing himself down on the couch next to a girl who Kyungsoo thinks is named Jinri. She’s in the middle of beating Luhan-when did Luhan even get here?-at some video game, and she merely shrugs as Sehun leans his head against her shoulder.
“I was just hanging out with some friends,” Jongin says, voice still a little too deep, and Kyungsoo shudders when he reaches out a hand and places it gently on Kyungsoo’s shoulder.
“Was Amber there?” Kyungsoo asks without quite knowing why. Jongin gives him a confused look.
“Yeah, she was,” he says. “Why?”
“Oh, no reason at all,” Kyungsoo says, and he knows his voice is too loud and sounds a tad too accusatory but he can’t help himself. “I hope you two are very happy together.”
“Kyungsoo, what are you-” Jongin asks in confusion, but Kyungsoo has already wrenched himself up off the couch and stumbled off in direction of one of the bedrooms. He suddenly doesn’t feel very good at all and since the bathroom is still being…occupied…the best he can hope for is collapsing in one of the dark rooms and waiting until his head stops spinning.
But almost as soon as he closes the door, flopping facedown on the bed, he hears it open again, and the lightness of the steps gives Jongin away immediately.
“Go away,” Kyungsoo says, his voice muffled by the comforter.
“Look, I’m not in love with Amber,” Jongin says, and Kyungsoo can hear the smile in his voice and he hates how it makes his stomach jump so pleasantly.
“Whatever,” Kyungsoo grunts, and he knows he’s probably making a terrible impression on this boy he would very much like to kiss, but he just can’t bring himself to care. Because if it isn’t Amber it’ll be someone else, someone like Jinri or Taeyeon or Jia, someone with soft hair and flowery perfume and everything Kyungsoo doesn’t have.
“Please, will you at least look at me?” Jongin asks, sitting down on the edge of the bed. Sighing, Kyungsoo manages to pull himself into an upright position, and he squeals in a very unmanly way when Jongin’s weight on the bed sends him sliding down until they’re crushed against each other, thigh to thigh.
“I don’t have anything to say to you,” Kyungsoo says shortly, staring hard at his shoes.
“I don’t get it,” Jongin says faintly, and Kyungsoo can hear the hurt in his voice and he suddenly feels a sharp pain in his chest at the idea that he’s the cause of it. “I just want you to like me.”
And Kyungsoo isn’t quite sure why he does it, he blames it on the alcohol, the darkness of the room, his stupid libido, Jongin’s stupid dark eyes, but he’s suddenly reaching up, placing his palms on either side of Jongin’s face, and kissing him.
Jongin’s completely still for a few moments, but then Kyungsoo can feel him relaxing into the kiss, arms coming up to pull Kyungsoo closer, slotting their mouths together more tightly. And then Jongin’s tongue is sliding against his lips and this is more than Kyungsoo ever hoped for, and he can barely spare the time to blush at the small moan that drops out when his mouth falls open under Jongin’s touch.
And then Jongin’s warm hands are slipping under Kyungsoo’s shirt, ghosting up and down his sides, and Kyungsoo is shivering so hard he can feel his inside rattling, and all he can think about is the taste of Jongin’s mouth and the warmth of Jongin’s hands against his skin and the feel of Jongin’s hair as he tangles his fingers in it, pulling him even closer.
And Kyungsoo’s not entirely sure how he ended up straddling Jongin’s lap, but suddenly he can feel Jongin’s erection against his thigh and he reaches down a tentative hand to press against Jongin’s zipper. And that’s when everything stops.
Jongin’s standing so suddenly Kyungsoo almost falls to the ground before being able to get his balance, and then Jongin’s pushing past him, wrenching the door open, and darting out into the light of the hallway.
Kyungsoo tries to stumble after him, yelling a bit incoherently about being sorry and being able to explain, but he doesn’t get far before he bumps into Sehun and Luhan, who are rolling beer cans down the hallway and laughing hysterically for totally unknown reasons and it’s too late.
Jongin’s gone.
*
When Kyungsoo wakes up the next morning, head pounding and tongue feeling like he spent the night licking a herd of sheep, he can’t even work up a good leer for Chanyeol, who came stumbling into their room at around four in the morning and promptly fell asleep on the floor before even reaching his bed.
Sighing, he gets up and heads to the bathroom, hoping that splashing gallons of cold water on his face will somehow be able to drown out the memories of last night. In the end he gives up and just decides to take a shower, standing under the hot, misty spray until he starts feeling almost like a normal human being again. A normal human being whose soul has been crushed nearly beyond repair.
It’s even worse when he comes back to the room to find Chanyeol lying on his bed, humming, and smiling like he just won the lottery.
“Well, I’m glad at least one of us had a good night,” Kyungsoo says bitterly, considering exactly how childish he would seem if he stood over Chanyeol’s bed and dripped water in his eyes.
“My life,” Chanyeol says sighing heavily, “is so perfect right now.”
“Are you gonna tell me what happened last night with the man of your dreams?” Kyungsoo asks, deciding that he can spare a few seconds out of his miserable day to listen to his friend’s successes.
“Well, now he’s really going to be the man of my dreams, if you catch my drift,” Chanyeol says, winking, and Kyungsoo throws a pillow at him in disgust.
“I hate you so much right now,” Kyungsoo moans, getting up and pulling on what he hopes is a clean shirt. There’s no way he’s going to be able to hang around here with Chanyeol being so annoyingly happy.
“He said he’d teach me how to play basketball!” Chanyeol shouts just before Kyungsoo slams the door shut behind him. How is it fair that Chanyeol gets to have a more perfect life than Kyungsoo does? Chanyeol and his stupid frizzy hair and his stupid quest for an alternate dimension and his stupidly perfect new boyfriend. Kyungsoo grumbles to himself all the way to the coffee shop, and Luhan only makes it worse, waggling his eyebrows suggestively at Kyungsoo as he makes his drink, writing “El ConKISStador” on his cup instead of Kyungsoo’s name. If this were a normal day, Kyungsoo would be strongly considering chucking his coffee at Luhan’s head, but as it is he really needs it to restore his brain to within normal functioning parameters.
It doesn’t help that he sees Jongin’s usual entourage approach the doorway, only to have Jongin turn around the instant he walks through the door and walk back out. Sehun glances around the shop, trying to find the source of Jongin’s apparent distress, and his eyes narrow when he spies Kyungsoo sitting at a table near the back. Kyungsoo is in the process of grabbing his books and trying to beat a hasty retreat when he feels Sehun’s hand on his arm.
“You and I need to have a talk,” Sehun says, in the most serious voice Kyungsoo’s ever heard him use, and Kyungsoo swallows hard before slowly sitting back down.
“What-what about?” he asks with a nervous laugh. Has Jongin been talking to Sehun about last night, laughing about how he managed to fool that idiot Kyungsoo into kissing him and thinking he might actually have feelings for him, before ripping Kyungsoo’s heart out of his chest and stomping all over it on his way out the door?
“What are you even talking about?” Sehun asks and Kyungsoo swears angrily. Why does he not realize he’s saying these things out loud? “I thought you were the one who rejected Jongin!”
“What? No! Are you kidding?” Kyungsoo says, and he can’t quite bring himself to care that people at nearby tables are turning to look at him. “I was really pleased to have found myself in some lovely alternate universe where someone like Jongin can actually fall for someone like me who isn’t particularly attractive or smart or funny-”
Kyungsoo stops at the strange look of mixed confusion and derision on Sehun’s face. Sehun really does have a very expressive face.
“What?” Kyungsoo asks defensively.
“You’ve been spending too much time with Chanyeol,” is all Sehun says, and before Kyungsoo can mutter something along the lines of, “Yeah, eight years too long,” Sehun’s talking again.
“Okay, I have no idea what actually happened-all I know is that ever since last night Jongin has been walking around looking like someone tried to drown his puppy or something. And my sources tell me that the last thing he did last night before falling into a pit of despair and self-loathing was run out of a room that you two had been seen entering alone. Well?”
“Well, how do you know it was self-loathing and not Kyungsoo-loathing?” Kyungsoo asks miserably. “Because that would fit better with actual events…”
“I’ve known Jongin since high school, believe me, I know when he hates someone and he definitely does not hate you,” Sehun snorts, and Kyungsoo feels a strange bubble of hope rise in his chest. “But why? Did you give him a reason to hate you?”
“No!” Kyungsoo yells in exasperation. “We just-we were kissing and it was great and wonderful and there were fucking butterflies and rainbows all over the place and then all of a sudden he got up and stormed out!”
People are definitely looking at them now, and Kyungsoo has just enough presence of mind to grab Sehun’s arm and pull him out the door. Ignoring Sehun’s yelps of what Kyungsoo’s pretty sure are exaggerated pain, he drags him over to an alcove around the back of the building, shoving Sehun up against the wall in what he hopes is a threatening manner.
“So do you want to explain what I could have possibly done wrong, O Master of the Ways of Kim Jongin?” Kyungsoo spits, ignoring Sehun’s mildly annoyed expression.
“Maybe you’re just a terrible kisser,” Sehun says sarcastically. But at the sight of Kyungsoo melting into a little puddle of anxiety and confusion, looking up at him with desperate eyes, Sehun relents a little.
“Okay, so here’s the thing you need to know about Jongin,” Sehun says with a sigh. “He’s terrified of his feelings. Like, deathly terrified. Like, if Jongin’s mind were a city, his feelings would be Public Enemy Number 1.”
“Strangely enough, I actually kind of get that analogy,” Kyungsoo says, but Sehun shushes him with a finger over his lips.
“Which is what I think happened last night. I mean, it happens to Jongin with dance all the time-”
“What? He storms out after crushing its heart beneath his perfect feet?”
“Um…not quite,” Sehun says, giving Kyungsoo a look. “But he does pull the whole, ‘I can’t do this anymore!’ thing, stops going to practice for like a week, and then he realizes that it’s okay for him to love dance, because dance is just such an important part of his life, even if he doesn’t pursue it as a career.”
“Okay, you’re kind of losing me this time, I have to say,” Kyungsoo says, “Does this mean Jongin will kiss me but never actually date me or something?”
“No!” Sehun says, waving a hand as if to dispel Kyungsoo’s numerous doubts. “After all, he and dance are in a very serious relationship so that bodes well for you…”
“Okay, but what if I don’t want Jongin to be dating both dance and me,” Kyungsoo whines before realizing how strange that sounds, especially considering the fact that he’s barely managed to get through a whole conversation with Jongin yet, much less date him. Kyungsoo feels a bit woozy.
And, of course, that’s when he hears a voice from behind him.
“Kyungsoo? Sehun? What are you guys doing?”
And as Jongin looks at them with confused eyes Kyungsoo realizes that the position they’re currently in-Sehun backed up against the wall of an out-of-the-way alcove, Kyungsoo’s hand holding onto a fistful of his shirt to keep him from running away, and Kyungsoo’s blush at Jongin’s sudden appearance spreading like wildfire across his cheeks-is not the most innocent one in the world.
“Nothing!” they shout nearly simultaneously, Kyungsoo dropping Sehun’s shirt like it’s on fire and Sehun shoving Kyungsoo out of the way so he can step out into the open air.
But this does nothing to appease Jongin, who quickly turns around and starts walking in the opposite direction, the look of hurt on his face burning in Kyungsoo’s chest just the way it had last night. He looks at Sehun desperately, as if asking for advice.
“Wow, you are a terrible knight in shining armor,” Sehun says, rolling his eyes. “Go after him! Profess your love! Make him confront his feelings!”
“But what if those feelings don’t involve me,” Kyungsoo hisses, watching Jongin’s rapidly retreating back.
“Oh, believe me, as his roommate I’m telling you they definitely do,” Sehun says, shuddering slightly at the memory. Kyungsoo gives him a confused look. “Go! He’s getting away!”
So Kyungsoo goes, running across the grass until he can grab Jongin’s arm and pull him around.
“Jongin,” he gasps, “I can-let me explain-”
“You don’t have to,” Jongin says kindly, but his eyes are wide and glassy when Kyungsoo finally works up the courage to look into them. “I get it, it’s totally fine. After all, I rejected you, there’s no reason you shouldn’t be with Sehun, although I didn’t know Sehun was into boys…”
“Yeah, neither did I,” Kyungsoo says, but the memory of the gleam in Sehun’s eyes when Luhan had grabbed his hand to pull him down next to him on the couch makes Kyungsoo think that maybe he did. “But that’s not what happened! I came to Sehun to ask him about you.”
“Me?” Jongin asks, and the surprise in his voice makes Kyungsoo want to shake his head. Honestly, it figures he would fall in love with the one boy in the entire school more oblivious than Kyungsoo himself.
“Yes, you,” Kyungsoo says, and he likes the way Jongin smiles when he says that, likes the way Jongin’s hair shines in the sunlight. “Because I really, really like you.”
“I really, really like you too,” Jongin says, and right now Kyungsoo doesn’t really mind the melty feeling in his chest.
And this time it’s Jongin who closes the distance between them, pressing his lips hard against Kyungsoo’s, as if to make up for being the one to pull away before. And Kyungsoo does not mind at all, swallowing each of Jongin’s small sighs, and thinks that he doesn’t need functioning organs anyway if Jongin will just keep kissing him like this, just keep holding him like this, forever.
*
“Sure you aren’t,” Kyungsoo says sarcastically, to which Chanyeol replies with such a loud burst of indignation that Kyungsoo has to hold the phone away from his ear to keep his eardrums from being permanently injured.
“Okay, okay, maybe you’re not completely hopeless at basketball,” Kyungsoo says when Chanyeol’s quieted down. “But I’ll believe it when I see it. Anyway, have fun on your Super Romantic Date this evening. I have to say, this Wu Fan guy really knows how to pull all the stops.”
“Yeah,” Chanyeol says, and Kyungsoo can hear him blushing over the phone and it’s absolutely revolting. “This morning he left a rose by our door right before I left for class and it had a clue in it and I’ve been following them around campus all day. I think the last one is going to tell me where our date is going to be!”
“Disgusting,” Kyungsoo says, but he’s smiling and he knows Chanyeol can tell.
“Yeah, yeah, and like you and Jongin aren’t the most ridiculously adorable couple ever,” Chanyeol says with a snort that Kyungsoo should probably remind him never to do around Wu Fan. “Okay, I gotta go. Next stop, the physics lab! See ya, Kyungsoo!”
“Bye,” Kyungsoo says, just as he hears a knock on the door. Dropping his phone on the bedside table, he rushes over and opens it to reveal a smiling Jongin, still smelling of vinyl floor mats and sunshine.
“Hey,” Jongin says, and he looks like he might want to say more but Kyungsoo’s already pulling him into the room and crushing their mouths together. Jongin manages to walk them backwards until Kyungsoo’s legs hit the bed, and then Jongin’s spinning them around so Kyungsoo’s straddling his lap, hands on the back of Jongin’s neck, feet barely touching the floor.
“We’re almost ready for our next show,” Jongin says between kisses, and Kyungsoo nods to show that he would respond if it weren’t for the fact that his lips are so very busy. “Are you going to come watch us?”
At this, Kyungsoo pulls back, giving Jongin an incredulous look.
“You’re kidding right?” he asks, and Jongin shifts uncomfortably underneath him. “I’ve been going to your recitals this entire year, before you even knew my name, what makes you think I’m going to stop going now that I know you actually want to put your tongue in my mouth?”
Jongin winces and Kyungsoo blushes a deep red.
“Not quite what I meant,” he squeaks, but Jongin is laughing and reaching forward to claim his mouth again.
“Well, I think you’ll like it,” Jongin breathes against Kyungsoo’s lips, making him shiver. “I have a lot of parts that are very…sexy.”
And then Jongin’s pressing his hand very gently against the quickly growing bulge in Kyungsoo’s pants and Kyungsoo writhes, trying to simultaneously get closer and pull away from the unfamiliar feeling. It’s not that he’s never had anyone touch him…like that. But his experience has admittedly been limited to one handjob in high school from a pretty girl in his class, an incident that Chanyeol continues to refer to as The Handjob That Made Kyungsoo Realize Just How Gay He Was.
“Is this…okay?” Jongin asks, pressing soft kisses against Kyungsoo’s neck and all Kyungsoo can do is moan and lift his hips to press harder against Jongin’s palm. And then Jongin’s unbuttoning Kyungsoo’s pants, sliding them down his legs, and lifting himself off the bed a little so his own jeans hit the floor. And then Jongin’s rolling them back over so Kyungsoo’s lying on his back, staring up into his deep, dark eyes, and when Jongin rolls his hips downward-a move Kyungsoo’s seen him do so many times onstage-Kyungsoo groans so loudly he can’t stop himself from slapping a hand over his mouth in embarrassment. But Jongin doesn’t seem to mind, pushing up Kyungsoo’s shirt and pressing kisses against his neck, his stomach, before moving down and flicking his tongue against the skin of Kyungsoo’s thighs.
“Jongin-” Kyungsoo gasps, his breath catching in his throat as Jongin slips a hand into his underwear and wraps it around Kyungsoo’s throbbing cock. “Jongin, please-”
“Please what?” Jongin asks slyly, and Kyungsoo would kick him if he weren’t otherwise occupied, and then Jongin’s pulling Kyungsoo’s underwear down his legs and Kyungsoo’s reaching up to yank at Jongin’s boxers, and Kyungsoo hisses to see that Jongin’s already so hard, cock leaking precome all over the sheets.
“Someone’s impatient, aren’t they?” Kyungsoo grins but any other thoughts he might have had are lost as Jongin takes him into his mouth, full lips stretched around Kyungsoo’s cock in a way that make Kyungsoo feel like he’s burning up.
“Jongin-” he breathes, twisting back and forth as Jongin runs his tongue along the underside of Kyungsoo’s shaft in an absolutely maddening way. “Jongin, I want-Jongin, I want you to-”
“Want me to what?” Jongin asks, sliding Kyungsoo out of his mouth and blowing on the wet skin, making Kyungsoo hiss and buck his hips upwards, trying to regain some of that heat and friction. And Kyungsoo’s never done this before with anyone, but with Jongin he wants to, has been wanting to ever since their first date, when Jongin shoved him up against the sink in the bathroom of the movie theater and Kyungsoo had almost come just from the gleam of want in Jongin’s eyes.
“I want you to fuck me,” he manages to sputter, reveling in the feel of Jongin’s long, lithe fingers stroking up and down his cock, and it’s taking all his willpower not to come right now.
Jongin pulls away a little, sitting back on his heels as he gazes at Kyungsoo lying on the damp sheets, completely wrecked, shivering at the loss of Jongin’s body heat.
“You’re sure-” Jongin asks, but before he can even finish, Kyungsoo’s reaching over to his desk and yanking out the top drawer. Jongin gets the picture, and Kyungsoo hopes that Chanyeol never finds out that he took his advice to heart, but every thought is whisked out of his head as Jongin’s slick finger finds its way to his hole, circling the tight, wrinkled skin.
“F-fuck, Jongin,” Kyungsoo says, gasping as the first finger slips inside, followed quickly by a second.
“You look so beautiful like this,” Jongin groans, watching a flush creep up Kyungsoo’s chest as he pumps two fingers in and out, stretching and pressing until they find his prostate. Dragging a finger against it is enough to make Kyungsoo cry out, repeating Jongin’s name like a prayer, and if Kyungsoo could think at all he’d be thinking how terribly cliché it is to say that but he can’t help it, with Jongin cliché is just fine, it fits.
And then Jongin’s fingers are gone and Kyungsoo whines at the loss, shifting his hips lower on the bed, but suddenly he feels the head of Jongin’s cock pushing against him.
“Fuck, Kyungsoo, you’re so tight,” Jongin hisses as he presses in, and it hurts but Jongin’s voice is soft and soothing in Kyungsoo’s ear and little by little the pain disperses, swept up in a wave of pleasure growing steadily in Kyungsoo’s gut as Jongin pushes all the way inside.
“More, Jongin, please,” Kyungsoo groans, and he can feel tears pricking the corners of his eyes as Jongin pulls all the way out before slamming back in, filling Kyungsoo fuller than he’d ever thought possible.
And then Jongin’s reaching down to stroke Kyungsoo’s erection and it’s all too much and Kyungsoo screams, come spurting all over Jongin’s hand. His walls clench around Jongin’s cock and then Jongin is coming too, more quietly, gasping as he continues to push in and out, milking the last of Kyungsoo’s orgasm.
Jongin collapses bonelessly on the bed next to Kyungsoo, wrapping his arms around him so Kyungsoo’s head is pressed under his chin, and Kyungsoo sighs contentedly at the warmth of Jongin’s chest.
“Well, that was fucking amazing,” Jongin breathes and Kyungsoo definitely agrees, but right now, flushed and satisfied, he can’t quite work up the strength to reply.
They’ve only been lying there for a few minutes when the door behind them suddenly opens, causing both Kyungsoo and Jongin to start wildly.
“Oh. Are you. I’m just going to. Um.” Junmyeon stutters before jumping backwards, slamming the door shut behind him.
Kyungsoo and Jongin look at each other, and then burst out laughing.
“I thought Chanyeol was your roommate?” Jongin gasps between giggles, and Kyungsoo smiles so widely it makes his cheeks hurt.
“Yeah, he is-that was Junmyeon, he lives right next door. Not the picture of subtlety, I have to say,” he laughs, reaching over to pull Jongin even closer to him, and this feels right in a way nothing else in Kyungsoo’s life ever has. “You’d think he’d be able to figure out what the door to his room looks like after six months.”
“You’d think,” Jongin mutters, pressing his lips against the base of Kyungsoo’s neck, and Kyungsoo is so happy he thinks his heart might burst.
Later, Jongin sends him a cryptic text message telling him to go up to the roof. Wary of anything involving heights, Kyungsoo peeks out the door leading outside only to see a dark shape that he assumes is Jongin gesturing to him. Satisfied that this isn’t some kind of ambush, Kyungsoo steps out onto the roof, and sees that Jongin’s brought a lantern of some kind with him, illuminating a small circle of concrete. Overhead, the stars are bright and Kyungsoo can feel a warm breeze pressing against his skin.
“There’s something I want to show you,” Jongin says, sitting Kyungsoo down in a small folding chair right at the edge of the circle of light. Kyungsoo complies, not sure what Jongin plans to show him here on the roof, in the dark, that he couldn’t show him down in the warmth of their room.
But then Jongin steps into the center of the circle of light, and starts to dance.
It’s a routine Kyungsoo hasn’t seen before-full of graceful spins and sweeping movements-and it’s such a perfect representation of Jongin, so carefully out of control, that Kyungsoo can feel his eyes getting a bit damp and he’s glad Jongin can’t see his face in the darkness.
When it’s over, Jongin gives a deep bow and Kyungsoo claps so hard his hands sting.
“What did you think?” Jongin pants, sitting down in Kyungsoo’s lap and wrapping his arms around Kyungsoo’s neck.
“I loved it,” Kyungsoo says, pressing his face into Jongin’s shirt so that Jongin can’t see that his eyes are a little too glassy.
“Good,” Jongin says, pulling gently on Kyungsoo’s chin so he can press soft kisses against his forehead, his nose, his mouth. “Because you were the inspiration behind it.”
“Really?” Kyungsoo asks, fighting the urge to pinch himself and make sure that’s he’s really here, that he’s really dating Kim Jongin, that he’s really made Jongin want to dance.
“I actually started choreographing it the day you and Sehun caught me after the performance,” Jongin admits, and even in the dim light Kyungsoo can see him blush.
“I’ve wanted to write about you since the minute I first saw you,” Kyungsoo says, looking up at the stars twinkling like tiny fireworks against the summer sky.
“So do it,” Jongin says, leaning over to kiss Kyungsoo again, and Kyungsoo thinks he just might.