(no subject)
Right, so I'm writing this covertly in a REALLY tiny window in the middle of work because I'm bored and I just need to make an update, first time in a long while that I've felt like that. I've noticed that my livejournal participation has a particularly close causality to my relationship status.
So yeah, this past month has been kinda hard, this past week particularly so. Haven't felt this way in about...two years. I don't feel like myself and I figure that's not good. The plan? Take time out. Take stock. Try and learn to relax a little more so that maybe this constant feeling of anxiousness night subside. There's so much to be done at the moment that I guess I'm pretty lucky, I can throw myself into the midst of things going on around me and hopefully my mind will have less time to dwell on stuff as much as it's been doing recently.
I'm lucky that I have friends this good, so I think the best way forward is to spend more time with them and just expel all guys from my system right now. My heart has been through enough these past few weeks to last a long time, some of it really good and some of it terrible but - right now - I'm just too drained to deal anymore and I need to look forward rather than back.
It's time to be an adult about this, so I'm gonna grow up (he says writing in a livejournal he's had since he was 14). Maybe this post is kind of like a...cleansing, as over the top as that sounds. An intervention on my own part. It's Valentines Day today, I can think of no better time to take stock of matters of the heart and make serious descisions about where and who I want to be come Valentines Day next year. So there's my plan, today can be an emotional landmark, the signpost that's telling me 'happiness and sanity, 12months, that way...'
I get to go to America in six months time for God's sake, and I should be looking forward to that! Is it weird that I'm not? Am a making a mistake of absolutely colossal proportions? What is going to happen? Help!
Who knows though, maybe the signpost has been pointing towards Washington DC all along...
So yeah, this past month has been kinda hard, this past week particularly so. Haven't felt this way in about...two years. I don't feel like myself and I figure that's not good. The plan? Take time out. Take stock. Try and learn to relax a little more so that maybe this constant feeling of anxiousness night subside. There's so much to be done at the moment that I guess I'm pretty lucky, I can throw myself into the midst of things going on around me and hopefully my mind will have less time to dwell on stuff as much as it's been doing recently.
I'm lucky that I have friends this good, so I think the best way forward is to spend more time with them and just expel all guys from my system right now. My heart has been through enough these past few weeks to last a long time, some of it really good and some of it terrible but - right now - I'm just too drained to deal anymore and I need to look forward rather than back.
It's time to be an adult about this, so I'm gonna grow up (he says writing in a livejournal he's had since he was 14). Maybe this post is kind of like a...cleansing, as over the top as that sounds. An intervention on my own part. It's Valentines Day today, I can think of no better time to take stock of matters of the heart and make serious descisions about where and who I want to be come Valentines Day next year. So there's my plan, today can be an emotional landmark, the signpost that's telling me 'happiness and sanity, 12months, that way...'
I get to go to America in six months time for God's sake, and I should be looking forward to that! Is it weird that I'm not? Am a making a mistake of absolutely colossal proportions? What is going to happen? Help!
Who knows though, maybe the signpost has been pointing towards Washington DC all along...