(no subject)
It is a strange event that makes you want to post a LJ comment, after my complete and utter disregard of it for Myspace. It is most likely the fact that I am going to start my period tomorrow and I am being overly sensitive, that or I am actually doing some deep thinking. The thing is I was over at my best friends house today, chilling whatever, she leaves to go hang out with some other friends and I am sitting there chilling with her Dad and her two cousins, which I don't really mind because they are all cool as fuck and we are all getting crunk. Anyways the point is, that i just had this strange revelation. Her dad is talking shit, and he turns to me and asks me why I have stayed friends with her for so long, and I have to ask myself that same question? He says, she doesn't want to see him happy,,, and it is weird because I feel that she does that same thing to me too. Whenever I like a guy he is never good enough for me or she points out even the most minute thing that is wrong with him... and it's not really a big deal I guess, and I don't even really want a boyfriend. I mean I don't think I do. Some times I think I do but then I realized that what I really want is some one that will always be there for me to hang out with and come over whenever I ask and listen to me, and I guess snuggling, etc. would be nice too, but I know that I would never have the fidelity to uphold a real relationship. It's not like I haven't blown hundreds of oppurtunities. I guess I just crave attention. I don't think there is any real point to this except that I feel like doing lots of analyzing, and figuring out who my real friends are, and all that. shheesh.