this is interesting...
'Many people inhibit asking for what they want because they believe "If he really loved me, he'd know what I like." They assume that the person should care enough and know them well enough to know what they want, without their having to ask for it. For people like this, asking is seen as equivalent to admitting to themselves that the other doesn't care very much. They think, "If I have to ask for it, it's less valuable" or "If he sincerely wanted to please me, he'd do it without my having to ask." Holding this attitude is another patterned way to avoid taking the risk of asking for what you want. When you operate as if this were true, you don't ask for very much, so you don't have to hear no very often. The problem is, by using this self-protection strategy, you miss the chance to develop the resilience and confidence that come from asking without knowing how the other person will respond. Obviously you can never know in advance how the other is going to receive your request -- so asking is always a bit of a risk. But if the person cares about you, it is an intelligent risk. You will survive even if you hear a no, and either way, by opening yourself up to the unknown, you'll deepen your self-trust and begin to heal an outdated view you may have of yourself as too fragile.'